Although I was now a Rasetsu, my routine didn't change. I refused to become a creature of the night and so, I was fighting my new nature the better I could. I was waking up in the morning, meditating and practicing my moves outside in the castle courtyard. The sun was burning my flesh every damn time and I was feeling totally exhausted most of the day but I had confidence that if I put enough volition in it, I could get used to it.
Luckily, I hadn't been through another bloodlust episode. I tried my best to ignore my sense of smell and never get too close to anyone, even Chizuru. That was bothering me. I used to love her scent of spices and now, I was just closing my nose the best I could in her presence. I couldn't scent the spices anyway, everytime I lowered my guard, I only smelled her blood beneath her skin. Hers had something more, like Sen's and Kimigiku's. I supposed it was because they were Oni but I really was curious to taste it... It smelled so good... No. I would not surrender to my instincts. I wasn't the kind of man to do it in the past, I wouldn't be the kind of man to do it now.
Every morning, after I practiced my moves, I would join Chizuru with sweets and tea and I would comb her hair, trying my best to reassure her. I needed to share something with her and since I couldn't even hug her, it was the only thing I could do. Sometimes, when we were eating sweets, our hands could touch and she would pull it immediately, as if my contact could burn her. She still wasn't speaking but she was often smiling. Everything I could try to make her feel better seemed to amuse her a lot. It was... unsettling...
That morning, I was repeating my moves in the courtyard under the burning sun and the sweat was flowing on my face. I was focusing on my blade to ignore the pain and I smiled when I saw Haruhi joining me with a bokken. She repeated her moves too, of Tennen Rishin Ryû, and I could see that she got more muscular. She was really dedicated to her training. I watched her for a moment fighting a training mannequin, silent.
« What ? » she eventually asked, blushing red.
« Nothing. » I answered calmly « you're improving. Maybe I'll allow you to have a wakizashi if you continue this way. »
« Really ?! » she yelled, eyes sparkling in excitement « Souj... Okita-san says I'm not ready yet. »
« He's right. » I confirmed, nodding « that's why I said you must keep training. »
She nodded and her face seemed focused again as she kept practicing.
« Do you want to try against me ? » I asked her and her eyes sparkled some more.
« I'd be honored to fight against a warrior like you ! » she bowed in respect and I was surprised to see that she could be that polite when it comes to swordsmanship.
I bowed too, grabbed a bokken and positioned myself at duel distance. She came at me with force and I blocked her, blow after blow. Still I knew that it was better for her to train with someone rather than a mannequin. Souji was probably still sleeping or maybe he couldn't lift his sword now.
« It's not fair ! » she complained, still attacking « you're not giving me any opening. »
« I don't want to be killed. » I told her in my toneless voice.
« I can't kill you with a bokken. » she objected with furrowed brows.
« If you think this way, you'll never win. » I added with a small smile.
« Then now, I'm gonna kill you, be prepared. » she said with a foxy smile that looked exactly like her mother's.
I escaped a small laugh and she attacked me with more strength but she still was a kid and I dodged all her attacks. A few years back, never would I have crossed swords with her. I would never have had the patience to train with a kid. Even when I started to have feelings for Chizuru and she asked me to train with her, I wasn't really happy to do so and I never went easy on her. I guess things were different when it was your kid. Because now, I totally accepted that Haruhi was my daughter, even if she wasn't my blood.
« I give up... » she said, panting. « You're too strong for me. »
I landed my bokken on her forehead, gently, and smiled.
« You're dead. » I told her « the second you give up, you are dead. »
« You could have killed me a lot sooner... » she objected with a pout.
« True. » I nodded « but your technique is good. »
She smiled, happy to be praised by me and wiped the sweat off her face with the sleeve of her kimono before speaking again.
« When can I get a katana ? » she asked eventually, attacking the mannequin once more.
« You don't have a wakizashi yet and you want a katana ? » I frowned.
« No, just I'm wondering. » she laughed, still landing her bokken on the training mannequin.
I got my katana out of my obi and put it in hers. The tip of the scabbard was touching the ground.
« Go on. » I encouraged her with a malicious smile that I couldn't control.
She looked at the katana on her side and unsheathed it. Nearly. Her arms weren't long enough to get it completely out of the scabbard and she pouted when she realized that she couldn't do it.
« A katana that you can't get out of its scabbard seems to be rather useless, don't you think ? » I asked with a smirk.
« You'll laugh less when I'll be taller than you ! » she pouted, giving me back my sword.
I smiled some more. Even if I wasn't that tall, there were low chances in that. But maybe she could be taller than my wife one day. Her mother was.
« Do you think Chizuru-neechan will feel better one day ? » she asked me suddenly.
I didn't reply. I had no idea but I would be here to support her, regardless of her condition. I was her husband and that meant that we would go through everything together, good or bad.
I still had no clue what could have provoked this reaction in her but I was often replaying my fight with Kazama in my head. He threw her against a tree, on the ground, he pulled her hair... And she still went with him to save my life. Words of Kazama were swirling in my head. They were so mean to her... That demon was hell itself...
« Yukimura. There's a palanquin waiting for you on the road. Go. If you don't go, I will lose patience and kill him. And believe me when I say you won't have time to open that delicate little neck of yours. »
« I have no use for your love. I just need your womb. »
« No vital is touched but you will die slowly. You'll have all the time to repent. Now you are forgiven for daring to spoil what was rightfully mine. »
Could he have raped her ? Could she already decipher she was with child ? His child ? Could it be the reason for her trauma ?
Suddenly, like a flash, I knew what to do. I needed to see Chizuru and talk to her. I walked at a quick pace and got up the stairs to reach the women's quarters. I announced myself like every morning even if I knew that no answer would come. I calmed down, trying to contain my raging emotions, and got in to find her with her hair flowing around her face as expected. Like a ritual, I stayed behind her, grabbed the comb and ran it through her hair gently.
« You look beautiful, Chizuru... » I told her with a small smile.
She didn't reply and just served me her smirk, the new one that looked like she was mocking me all the time.
« I'm sorry I forgot the tea and the sweets on my way up. » I continued « I'll get some after arranging your hair. »
She nodded, still smiling and I looked at her in the mirror. I combed her hair until they were as soft and shiny as silk. They were really beautiful, I wasn't lying to her.
« Look » I told her gently, slowly getting the hairpins out of my sleeves that I kept for so long « I kept them when they dropped from your hair near Ryu'un temple. I figured you'd be happy to wear them again. »
She looked at the three hairpins in front of her and smiled again. I finished the bun and held it in position.
« Could you pass me your favorite one ? You know, the one I offered you just before the wedding. You were always wearing it... »
Her smile faded, replaced by a confused expression, and it reappeared almost instantly as she handed me the silver hairpin.
« Thank you » I said, putting it in her bun with a smile, looking at her chestnut eyes directly from the mirror.
She nodded shyly and I couldn't take it any longer. I lifted her up and pinned her to a nearby wall against me. I could see fear and surprise in her chestnut gaze but at that point, I didn't even care anymore.
Looking her directly in the eyes, I lost control.
