Tanya smiled broadly at Luna. It had been a while since she'd seen the woman, and, even if the gleam in her eyes told Tanya that the receptionist was itching to assign her some quests, Tanya was happy to see her.
She opened her mouth, but Tanya interrupted her before she had the chance to talk. "It's nice to see you Luna, but before we talk, I need to know if any re-"
She cut herself off with a cough. She couldn't refer to them as Reincarnates while talking to regular people. They might think she was insane or something.
"Ahem… Hero Candidates. I need to know if you've seen any."
Luna nodded, and Tanya felt her gaze dragged away from the woman's eyes by her chest for an instant. She shook her head, and Luna let a contemplative finger rest on her chin.
"Yeah, a whole bunch of them came for a while, but recently, they have stopped showing up completely," the receptionist said.
Tanya nodded, wondering if she would have the chance to kill them, or if they could be persuaded to abandon their quest.
"Anyone of note?" she asked.
Luna seemed stumped, for a moment, but then her face lit up. The joy at remembering something else quickly faded into what Tanya recognized as disappointment from the many time Luna had tried to convince her to change jobs.
"Yeah… they're not the most active group of adventurers, but they're surprisingly powerful, even if they have a couple of drawbacks."
She was silent after that, and Tanya raised an eyebrow, expecting some explanation. After a moment of hesitation, she continued. "I guess I'll start with their leader. His name is Kazuma Satou, and-"
But Tanya didn't hear the rest of her explanation. Kazuma Satou?
Refocusing, Tanya jumped from where she'd been resting against the counter to stare at Luna.
"Does he have brown hair, green eyes, and a relatively average stature? Does he generally feel that he shouldn't work if he doesn't need to?"
Luna blinked, and nodded shakily. "Yeah, that's him. How did you-"
"Where is he?"
Luna looked rather panicked, and Tanya didn't blame her. Tanya had, after all, jumped onto the counter, gripped her shoulders and began staring deeply into her eyes.
"Where. Is. He."
She grimaced, but Tanya got directions to the mansion that he'd managed to get. Tanya had no doubt that the boy got it in some way that made him feel incredibly guilty.
That was just who he had been.
-OxOxO-
Kazuma reclined in front of the fire as Aqua's cries of displeasure echoed through the mansion. She was currently fixing the toilets, as was her job.
Thankfully, she had forgotten that she'd done it yesterday and that Kazuma had made a deal with her where he'd promised she'd get the seat in front of the fireplace. He, however, wouldn't be telling her any of that, and with both Megumin and Darkness gone for the next few hours, he'd continue to relax.
Or, he would have, but a booming, echoing knock sounded on the door. He groaned, and then continued to sit there. They couldn't get inside, and –
"Kazuma Satou! If you don't open this door right now, I'll blow it down!"
He waited a second after the woman's shout, and then shrugged his shoulders. It seemed that the woman had left.
CRACK!
Kazuma darted out of his seat, rushing through the mansion. He didn't want to pay for damages to this place!
"I'm coming, you crazy bitch! What idiot actually breaks into someone else's house? I'll call the police!"
Grumbling to himself after his declaration, he finally got to the front door, and found that it was still in one piece and closed. Sighing in relief, he walked towards the door and opened it, finding…
Nothing.
He scratched his head. Nothing?
He scanned the front gates and the lawn, and then scowled. This part of Axel must have very annoying pranksters, if they were-
"Ahem."
He looked down, and finally found the person who had been knocking at his door. He opened his mouth, ready to tell the girl to buzz off.
He didn't want to deal with a twelve-year-old today.
"Kazuma Satou."
He blinked, looking into the girl's eyes and finding something that looked like recognition, as well as relief. If they'd come here for him, then…
"Which one was it?" he asked despondently. "I haven't heard an explosion, so I guess it was Darkness? I'll come and-"
"I've come here for you, actually." Tanya gazed into his green eyes, and Kazuma raised an eyebrow, looking the petite girl over.
Then he smirked. "I suppose it was only inevitable that I'd get fans. I'm not into lolis, though, so unless you want to come back when you've developed, then-"
"You are a Reincarnate from Japan."
Kazuma paused. "What?"
She continued to gaze into his eyes. "You were born into a relatively modest family. Despite being older, your parents gave the bigger bedroom to your brother because they thought that he deserved it more due to his academic prowess."
Kazuma clapped his hands over his ears. He wasn't going to take these accusations, even if they sounded true.
Tanya let a small frown cover her face, but she just shrugged, channeling mana into the Type 97. She activated Reinforcement Spells, and pried his hands off his ears, stepping forward and into the boy's mansion.
"You lived closer to the countryside, while your father commuted into Tokyo proper. You look more like your mother than your father. You're a proud NEET who thinks that his parents wouldn't notice him sneaking back into their house and avoiding school."
Now, Kazuma backpedaled without being pushed, but Tanya kept a firm hold of his hands and walked with him.
"One dreary day, you probably got word that your father was pushed off a train platform by a man he'd fired just hours earlier. There was likely very little left of his body, and knowing you, you probably moved past their death too quickly for your mother."
Now, Kazuma was completely still, just staring at her with widened eyes. All the fight had left him. Tanya released his hands and drew herself up.
"Who…"
"Kazuma Satou…"
She took in a breath, and then smiled.
"I am your father."
-OxOxO-
A/N 1: Not Canon in the slightest for a wide, uncountable number of reasons.
Despite not being canon, it is funny to imagine what events could have possibly lead to this and what would happen afterwards. Or just one of Kazuma's family members showing up to his mansion one day.
