Tanya stood, quietly contemplating why she was still there.

Iris had just told everyone to leave the room. They were supposed to be headed out, towards Elroad. Tanya had gotten her secret mission from Claire, but Iris had wanted to stop, for some reason.

Tanya continued to watch the Princess move about the room and rearrange furniture in some-

And then she felt… something erupt from the shadows, magical and… different.

Iris smirked at Tanya. "Finally. I don't want anyone interrupting us. That barrier stops that from happening."

Tanya blinked in confusion, and the girl snorted. "Oh jeez, I almost can't believe I could ever look so stupefied."

Tanya blinking in confusion again, tilting her head and letting a hand drift towards her weapon-

"Oh come on. We can talk to each other, Tanya to Tanya, right?"

Tanya blinked again, stupefied, and Iris laughed at her. "Oh man, that's… that's just…"

She began to giggle, continually, and Tanya held one hand out and another one to her head. "Wait, you mean-"

She gave Tanya a big nod, a grin, and a lopsided salute. "Yep! Tanya von Degurechaff, at your service!"

"But how-"

She huffed and rolled her eyes. "Damn it. I thought you were one of the ones in the know. I don't wanna explain this to you…"

Tanya glared at her. "Would you stop with your… childish word choice? It's grating."

She stuck out her tongue. "Nyeh! I don't think so…"

She trailed off, before smirking. "Wait…"

Then, she sighed happily. "Oh, all right. I'll explain it to you slowly."

She stood up straight, and Tanya blinked as the resemblance between them became near complete. She was no longer smiling, and the perpetual happiness and naivety shining in her eyes disappeared.

Then she grinned again. "Sorry. Acting like a hard-ass is lame."

Tanya felt an eye twitch as her double sank into a finely made couch. "Anyway. You know the multiverse theory? Something about choices creating a functionally infinite number of universes?"

Tanya nodded slowly. "It wasn't proven to exist, but I suppose…"

She nodded. "Yep! It's true, as far as me and Visha have been able to confirm through our limited experiences… for some universes, anyway."

Tanya was quiet, so Iris kept talking. "Yeah. I've met a couple other versions of me, but I haven't ever met one so new to the idea. Most of the other ones have seen a couple versions of themselves."

Tanya grimaced. "And Being X?"

She snorted again. "That old windbag? There are multiple versions of him, too, sometimes. Sometimes, he's the only god in his corner of reality, while in others, he's just the head of a whole bureaucracy of gods and goddesses."

Tanya raised an eyebrow. "I was more referring to the fact that you seem rather… unconcerned with him."

She shrugged. "Eh, I made a deal with him."

"You WHAT!?"

Iris covered her ears. "Hey, cool it. I spread his faith in that first world, and in return, he took me off the battlefield. I didn't even have to believe in him. I just spread his name, did good works, prevented the cold war and yada yada yada. In return for guaranteeing his continued presence in that world, he's allowed me to hop around the multiverse, exploring, living, and loving Viktoriya."

Tanya blinked again. She was on the verge of declaring the person before her another ploy by Being X to trick her, but that last part tripped her up. "Wait… Viktoriya's here? And you're… loving her?"

Iris blinked, and Tanya vengefully supposed that this version of herself could look just as surprised as she could…

But then she began to laugh uproariously. Tanya felt herself blush as she glared at her double. " Don't make fun of my worlds for having more hatred of homosexuality. I wish I could, but-"

She smirked again. "First of all, Viktoriya is Claire. Second of all, your Viktoriya loves you too, you dumbass."

Tanya stared at her for a moment, until she rolled her eyes. "Oh please. You can't just-"

"It's literally obvious to everyone, dumbass. Do you really think that homosexuality just popped into being in the sixties or something?" Iris asked rhetorically.

Tanya scoffed. "Of course not. But that's around the time it started becoming more accepted, so clearly it was much rarer. And anyway, I doubt the Empire, in Europe, would-"

Iris cut Tanya off with a flat stare. "Nazis persecuted Homosexuals during their reign, and at least one of the kings of Prussia – our Prussia and the Empire's progenitor, Prussy – was very gay."

Tanya blinked. Uh… "But what are the chances-"

"First of all: she could be gay specifically for you. Second of all: With Being X trying to make your life hell? Very high, but you're a dumbass, so that didn't even work as well as he thought it would, apparently."

They were quiet, and Tanya spent the next five minutes wondering if it really was that obvious, if it was possible, and what the odds were…

Iris eventually sighed. "Look. Just ask her, or literally anyone else that has watched you two for any amount of time. You don't have to take my word for it."

Tanya decided to brush past-

"And don't you dare just 'brush past' this. I'll admit that it took me a… regrettably long amount of time to realize the truth, and Claire spent the same amount of time berating me as your Viktoriya will."

Tanya sent a glare at her before shaking her head. "Anyway. There are other versions of… us?"

She nodded. "Oh yeah. A wider range than you would think…"

She shivered. "I even had the misfortune of spending a life battling a version of us that actually accepted that Being X was God and then became a Nazi to kill his supporters."

Tanya grimaced, but that was, apparently, the end of their conversation. She felt the… field of magical energy around them fade away, and Iris winked at her. "Don't worry. We can talk about it on the way to Elroad."

Tanya blinked. "Hey wait! Why are you engaged to him at all? And why does… 'Claire' want to stop it so much? Shouldn't you two have-"

Iris groaned. "Not again! I told that woman…"

Then, she sighed happily. "Oh, I do love it when she acts possessive, though…"

Tanya sent a faint look of disgust at her double's lack of decorum – and general lack of character, if she'd made a deal with Being X – until she snapped out of her haze of mingled memory and fantasy.

"Ah, well, we both agree that the kid's a goddamn snack, but she doesn't want me to get married to him. Thinks we should just bag him and tag him instead of going through marriage before getting to the good stuff-"

Tanya cut her off with a strangled choking sound, and Iris scoffed. "Oh please. I've matured enough to like being either a guy or girl… though I do remember disliking my first reincarnation a lot more…"

She shrugged. "Eh, if that still matters to you, I'll get Dad to give you a gender-switching item before we overthrow him. I've got a world to advance, after all."

And with that, Viktoriya jumped in the room and began to fret over Tanya, who was not paying attention to her at all and instead watched Claire and Iris both smirk and wink at her.

She groaned. Well, it seemed she would be on Belzerg's side after all. No matter how strong the Demon King was, Tanya wasn't going to fight a more experienced version of herself… unless, of course, that girl was just a ploy by Being X, in which case, she'd fight to the bitter end.

-OxOxO-

A/N 1: This isn't canon, obviously, but I find it funny, at least, and I hope you do too.