A/N: Hey guys! Sorry about the delay. I lost my confidence when I didn't receive much feedback for the previous chapter. I'm sorry you guys didn't like it. I hope you like this chapter better. Today I will be going on vacation, so you won't be seeing an update from me until the beginning of next month. Take care and please let me know what you guys think. ~Ellivia22~

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. I own Dr. Haevert (who is named after one of my good friends from high school). And Nurse Robynn is named after my current best friend.

I'll Be

Part VIII

Raven

My journey back to Jump City feels like days, when in reality it only takes me a couple of minutes to make it to the hospital. It's a good thing it's a short trip. From the battle with Slade and his henchmen and trying to save Beast Boy I'm physically and mentally exhausted.

I return to my physical form right as I reach inside the hospital. I fall to my knees in front of a gray desk, my hood falling back. I cradle Beast Boy safely in my arms. His green skin is still really pale. I can feel his life slipping away from me. He needs help now. My sudden appearance startles the young dark haired receptionist behind the desk. She gets up suddenly, knocking her chair to the floor. "It's the Teen Titans!"

I don't take my eyes off the unconscious teen in my arms. "Help him," I struggle to say in my monotone. "Please!"

The receptionist hits a button on her desk. "Code blue! Code blue! In the lobby!"

The next thing I know Beast Boy is being pulled out of my arms and placed on a white stretcher. I long to go with them as they wheel him through the large white doors, but find that I don't have the energy.

I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder. I look up to see a young nurse kneeling in front of me. She has long reddish brown hair and wearing green scrubs. She looks to be in her mid twenties. Robynn is the name on her uniform. "Are you all right?" she asks kindly. "Should I get a doctor for you too?"

I shake my head. I don't need a doctor. I can heal myself if I need to. No. What I need right now is to meditate. Silently I fly to the middle of the waiting room. I pull up my hood, crossing my legs. I float up and down. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"

It's hard to stay focused. When I close my eyes all I can see is Beast Boy badly beaten and bruised. I can see the burns on his chest, and the pale color of his skin. It's a sight that I will never forget for as long as I live. My emotions are a complete mess. The one emotion that is hardest to control is Fear. The dark gray emotion has been fretting nonstop since I found Beast Boy in the basement.

'Oh Azar! We were too late! B-Beast Boy is dying and it's all our fault!'

'He is in good hands' Reassurance says in my head. 'He'll be all right.'

Besides it wasn't our fault! Rage booms loudly. The blame is on our former friends. If Beast Boy dies I will not rest until the others pay for his suffering.

Violence will not solve anything Knowledge says sternly.

Maybe not. But it will definitely make me feel better.

W-what are we going to do if he doesn't make it? Timid whispers.

"I don't know," I answer honestly. "Let's just hope that the outcome of this mess doesn't reach that point."

"F-friend Raven?" a timid voice snaps me out of my intense meditation. "How is Beast Boy?"

I open my eyes to see Starfire standing in front of me. She looks like a total mess. Her hair is disheveled and tears are running rapidly down her face. Her body is trembling. I glare at her. She is the last person I want to see right now. In fact I don't want to see any of the Titans. I know I shouldn't, but I blame them all for what happened to Beast Boy. If they had just listened to me the first time, none of this would've happened. "Oh, so now you care?!"

The alien flinches, backing up a couple of steps. She lowers her head. I am surprised that she's brave enough to approach me after Rage's appearance. "I-I know that I was wrong. I am sorry that I did not listen to you. Please forgive me, Friend. I wish to help."

Objects start levitating in the air as my emotions become unstable. I'm getting angry and I don't care. "You HAD the chance to help! If you had just listened to me the first time; if you actually gave a damn about Beast Boy, none of this would've happened. If he doesn't survive I will NEVER forgive you!"

Star lets out an anguished sob. Any normal circumstances I would feel guilty for making her cry, but not this time. Silently she hands me a folded piece of paper. Then she flies to the other side of the waiting room.

For a while all I can do is stare at the folded piece of paper in my hands. What did Starfire give me? Should I even bother opening it? The wait for news on Beast Boy seems to be taking forever. If anything, reading the piece of paper would give me something to do. My hands shaking I open the piece of paper. Immediately I realize it's a letter from Beast Boy. The letter he had in my pile before he almost committed suicide.

Dearest Raven,

There is so much I want you to know-so much that I need to tell you. Things that I've never been brave enough to say to you in person. I hope that after you read this you will understand why I have decided to end my life.

Raven, I owe you an apology. In fact I owe you lots of apologies. I'm sorry for all the times I annoyed you with my terrible jokes. I'm sorry for all the times I hurt you-especially when I called you creepy. I didn't mean it. You aren't creepy. You are the most beautiful, bravest, honest girl I know. I wish that I had a chance to tell you all this before. But now it's too late.

The reason I have chosen to end my life is so that I can protect you from the Beast inside me. I don't have any memory of what happened that night. All I know is that I'd rather be dead than give the Beast another opportunity to hurt you again. You are the most important person to me and I want to keep you safe.

The truth is, I love you, Raven. I love you more than anything in the world. When I saw you smile for the first time it gave me such a warm feeling on the inside. So I made it my mission to make you smile again. The only mission in my life that was worth living for. It has taken me a long time, but I finally realized that instead of making you happy, all if I been doing is annoying you. And for that I'm so sorry with all my heart.

Please don't blame yourself for my death. You did not cause this. I want you to live a long, meaningful life. You deserve it. If you ever feel down, just remember that I'm watching over you. I love you. Always.

Love,

Garfield Logan

'Beast Boy'

I fold the letter and hold it close to my chest. My heart is pounding hard against my chest, a tear running down my cheek. It takes everything in me to hold back the sobs. I realize what would have happened if I didn't come check on Beast Boy. I would've heard the gunshot. I would've found his blood soaked body. It would've been too late to save him. I thank Azar that I came in time. None of this will matter if he succumbs to his injuries.

A sob escapes my throat. Oh how I wish I was there to protect him instead of talking to Robin. I could've done a better job preventing Slade from taking Beast Boy. He'd be okay and we'd be together. If Beast Boy doesn't pull through I don't think I could stay in Jump City. Or Earth. Maybe it would be better if I went back to-.

"Excuse me. I have some news about your teammate."

I float down to the ground. Standing in front of me is a young doctor. He looks to me in his late twenties with spiky brown hair with bleach on the tips. I lower my hood. "H-how is he," I barely manage to utter.

The doctor's expression is trying to be professional, but I can see the worry lines in his forehead and feel his uncertain emotions. "His condition is critical, but stable for the moment. However, I am very concerned about the amount of injuries that he had suffered-particularly the second and third degree burns on his chest and back. Also, his heart is very weak."

I'm afraid to ask this question, but I know I have to. "What are his chances?"

"It's hard to say. Honestly, not very good. We're keeping him in intensive care until if and when his condition improves."

"Can I see him?" I ask in my usual monotone, yet with an edge of firmness to it.

"Yes." The doctor looks off to the side. "But his condition is so severe I can only allow one person at a time."

I figure it is Starfire that he is looking at. I don't acknowledge her. Instead I follow the doctor through the large double doors. The walk down the long, white hallway seems to take forever. He takes me through another set of double doors, then stops in front of room 110. "My name is Dr. Haevert. If you need help, just hit the red button on the remote by his bed."

"Thank you."

The room I have been taken to is very small. So small that the machines surrounding the bed barely fit. Steady beeping emit from the machines, setting my nerves on edge. My eyes are transfixed on the motionless teen in the bed. I close my eyes, hoping that all of this is nothing but a terrible nightmare. When I open them again, Beast Boy is still lying there. For a while all I can do is stare at him.

"Hey Garfield," I whisper, placing my hand on his forehead. It's the only part of his green face that isn't injured. Just seeing him like this makes me sick to my stomach. I want to heal him some more, but my energy is still running low. I'll be able to heal him once I get some sleep. "I'm here. I promise I'll never leave your side again."

I pull up a chair beside him. I grip onto his hand gently. Now that we are alone and no longer in danger I can properly assess his wounds. Beast Boy's face is so pale that all the bruises and gashes he had received from Slade stand out considerably. Fresh bandages wrap around his chest under his patient gown to treat the burns. I also notice that his right wrist is in a white cast. Tears trickle down my face seeing him in such bad shape.

"Beast Boy, I'm so sorry," I whisper, stroking his hair with my free hand. "I'm sorry that I couldn't stop Slade from taking you; sorry that it took me so long to get to you. I never want anything bad to happen to you. Ever."

I know that you only pretended to love me so that I wouldn't kill myself

I can't stop thinking about the look of betrayal in Beast Boy's eyes when I found him in the basement. I knew that Slade had tortured him physically, but I had no idea he hurt him mentally too. Though I shouldn't be surprised. Slade is the most ruthless villain we've ever faced.

I feel Affection becoming dominant in me. The love is strong and all I want to do is show it. Why of all times is it when Beast Boy is in the hospital fighting for his life? If he is going to die, I don't want him leaving without him knowing how wrong Slade was; that I love Beast Boy with all of my heart.

"I don't know what Slade had told you, but I promise you it isn't true. I do love you-more than anything. I've loved you since you comforted me about Malchior. I'm sorry that I never showed it before. You make me so happy just by being you. That's why I meditate so often. It's the only way I can truly appreciate your sense of humor and cheerful spirit without my emotions going out of control."

I feel sleep take over me. My energy is well spent. I refuse to leave the room. I will never leave Beast Boy again. Carefully I lie right next to him on the bed, my arm across his stomach. My head lays on his shoulder. I don't care if anyone sees me like this. All that matters is that I remain close to him.

"Good night, Beast Boy," I whisper drowsily. "I hope I will see you when I wake. I love you. Always."

I snuggle into him, partly to keep his body warm. I fall asleep, listening to the faint beating of his heart.

To be continued...