A/N: Hey guys I'm back! Thank you all for being so patient and for all your wonderful reviews. I'm so elated that you guys love my story so far. So as a reward I have a nice long chapter for you. I hope you like it. Take care and please review. Love, Ellivia22
Disclaimer: If I owned Teen Titans, the live action Teen Titans would've been done much better. I've never watched it myself, but I've heard really bad things.
I'll Be
Part XIII
Raven
one week later
For the first time in over a week I enter Titan's Tower. I spent most of my time in the hospital while Beast Boy recovered from his injuries. I healed him the best I could at every opportunity and kept him company. Once he was well enough, he was moved from intensive care to a bigger room with a small couch in the corner-which is where I slept at night. I wanted to make sure that Slade had no chance to take him again. Besides, now that I finally have my boyfriend back I want to spend as much time with him as possible. Today, if his exam with the doctor goes well, he's going to be released. So I decided to go back to the tower to collect a fresh set of clothes for him. Plus I want to take a long hot shower.
The first thing I do after I take my shower is enter the empty kitchen to make myself a cup of tea. Besides my books and my mirror, my herbal tea is something I've missed the most while being at the hospital. Unfortunately the notorious rumor that hospitals have terrible food is true. I'm ready to have something better to drink and have some real food.
I sit at the kitchen table, sipping my tea slowly. I enjoy the warm and tasty liquid slide down my throat. I feel my body relax instantly. I am able to block out the extremely negative vibes that I was hit at full force as soon as I arrived. Emotions of anguish and terrible guilt. The emotions that I'm feeling isn't just one of my teammates, it's all of them. Evidently sending them to the past did what I hoped. Finally they see the error of their ways. Even though they deserve what they are feeling right now, their strong emotions are making me feel physically sick. My stomach feels like it's on a very jerky roller coaster. I can puke at any second. Luckily I don't plan on staying here long. Once I grab Beast Boy's clothes I'm going straight back to the hospital. After that, I'm not sure what we'll do. That'll be completely up to him.
Right when I put my empty tea cup in the sink the elevator doors open. I turn to see Cyborg enter with two large white bags-one in each hand. He looks nothing like his normal self. There is no emotion on his face and the spark in his eye is gone. He's acting more like a robot than ever. An expression of fear appears on his face when he sees me. "Oh hey, Raven," he says cautiously. "I didn't know you were home."
"I'm not staying. I just came by to get Beast Boy's clothes. He's being released from the hospital this afternoon."
"I'm so glad that he's doing much better. I really miss him." I raise my eyebrow at his words. He places the two bags on the kitchen counter. He lowers his head to avoid looking at me. "Will...will you guys be coming back to the tower?
I take a good look at the man who I've always considered my big brother. He looks completely worn down-as if he hasn't charged his battery in a week. It looks like he hasn't been eating real food either. The enthusiastic, strong mechanically minded Titan that I know is gone. He looks like a shell of his former self. Feeling his emotions I know that the guilt is weighing heavily on him. I want to say something positive to him, but I can't. I'm still unable to forgive him for what he did to Beast Boy. What he did was the worst thing you could ever do to a person.
"I don't know," I tell him at last. "It'll be up to Beast Boy."
Cyborg looks at the two white bags sadly. "Well tell him that the fridge will be fully stocked with his tofu if he decides to come home."
Curiosity gets the better of me. I look in the bags. Inside is several packages of tofu. The second bag has even more tofu and a brand new large bottle of barbecue sauce. For the first time in a while I meet his gaze. I can see the sincerity in his human eye. He truly is sorry.
"I'll tell him," I answer quietly. Then without another word I leave the kitchen.
I don't make it far. While walking down the long hallway I notice the the door to Robin's office is open. I have to stop abruptly to avoid crashing into him. In his hands is a large cardboard box. It's full of various items. Items that look like clues to Slade's whereabouts. "Spring cleaning?" I ask in my usual monotone.
"Sort of. Thanks to you, I finally realized that it was my obsession with Slade that drove me...that made me act the way I did. I know that it isn't an excuse for the way I acted, nor am I trying to use it as one. But I'm hoping that by not trying so hard to capture Slade I can revert to the hero I used to be: a brave, selfless one who always puts others before himself. A noble team leader."
I nod, unsure of what to say. Robin looks just as bad as Cyborg does. His black hair is flat, no hair gel. His attire is a red t-shirt and black pants. It's so strange not seeing him in his uniform. His emotions are worse than Cyborg's-if that's possible. I can feel massive amount of self hatred and guilt so strong it's starting to give me a migraine. I know I shouldn't, but I feel some satisfaction seeing the Boy Wonder so distraught. Finally he is feeling the same way Beast Boy had been feeling before the changeling attempted to take his own life. Slowly the anger I've been feeling towards my leader fades slightly.
"I'm surprised you came back," Robin says suddenly, breaking me out of my thoughts.
"I'm grabbing some things for Beast Boy. He's finally well enough to be released from the hospital."
"Star and Cyborg told me how bad Beast Boy's condition was. When I found out about all the things Slade did to him I was afraid that Beast Boy wouldn't survive. I'm so glad that he'll be okay." Having nothing else to say I continue walking down the hall until Robin's voice stops me. "Raven?"
I don't turn around. "Yeah?"
"When you see Beast Boy, could you tell him that I'm really, truly sorry for everything I said and did to him. I was wrong. Tell him that he's a better hero than I'll ever be." Then without another word Robin goes the opposite direction to discard the items in his box.
Surprisingly it doesn't take me long to locate everything I needed in Beast Boy's room. For probably the first time ever his purple and black uniforms are hanging in his nearly bare closet. I shake my head. His sudden cleanliness is the only good thing to come out of this whole mess. Hurriedly I collect what I need then prepare to transport myself back to the hospital.
Knock Knock
"Friend Raven?" Starfire's timid voice says from the other side of the door. "I wish to speak to you. I-if that's not too much trouble."
I wonder briefly how she knew that I was in here. Perhaps Robin or Cyborg told her. My insides twist hearing her usually cheerful tone so broken and distressed. It occurs to me that of all the Titans, she hurt Beast Boy the least and has shown remorse much sooner. Plus I know that she was the one who convinced the other two to help me rescue Beast Boy from Slade. Sighing, I go to the door.
"What?" I ask as soon as I open the door. I am immediately taken aback by the alien princess' appearance.
Starfire looks far worse than Robin and Cyborg put together-and that's saying something. Her red hair is a total mess-as if she hasn't brushed it in a week. There is no spark of life behind her light green eyes. Instead all I can see is pain and regret. Her usually orange face is red and puffy with tears still falling down her cheeks. I wonder if she ever stopped crying since I made her relive Beast Boy's memory. Silkie is in her arms and I notice two enormous pink bags at her feet. The bags are bulging. I wonder if she packed her entire room in there. "Going somewhere?" I ask.
Starfire makes sure to not look at me. "I am returning to Tamaran. I-I cannot stay here any longer. It haunts me."
I fold my arms. Despite my shock because of her terrible appearance I'm still very, very angry. "As it should. You deserve it," I say icily.
The tears fall even faster down her face. She lets out an anguished sob. "I know I was wrong. I let my fear and bad judgment take over and I hurt one of my friends. I lied to Beast Boy and made him lose faith in himself. I do not deserve his forgiveness or yours. I know that now." I don't respond. My arms stay folded. Sadly Starfire looks at Silkie. The worm is fast asleep. "C-could you give Silkie back to Beast Boy? I cannot bring my bumgorf with me. He will not survive in my world. I know Beast Boy will take good care of him." Before I can protest she puts the worm in my arms. The slimy feel of the worm in my hands makes me cringe. "Goodbye Raven."
As I watch Starfire fly down the hall with her bags I feel my heart soften. I know that my teammates deserve to feel what they are feeling after everything they did to Beast Boy, but for some reason I can't stand seeing them like this. Perhaps deep down I'm slowly starting to forgive them. "Hey Star," I call after the retreating alien.
She stops abruptly and turns to face me. "Yes?"
I hesitate. "Do you...do you want to come with me to the hospital? Beast Boy is being released today. It'll give you a chance to apologize to him before you go."
Starfire brightens up almost instantly. She drops her bags. "Oh thank you Raven! This means so much to me! I shall be ready in a minute."
I sigh. Might as well get Robin and Cyborg to come too. I hope Beast Boy isn't going to be mad at me for doing this.
Beast Boy
So he finally got the girl I muse to myself, closing the comic book with a snap. Good for him. Sighing lightly I put the comic book on the small desk beside my bed. I close my eyes, leaning against my large white pillows.
I feel so restless. I want more than anything to get out of this bed-get out of the hospital in general, but because of the burns on my chest and back Dr. Haevert wants to keep me in here to make sure I don't get an infection. Plus, I'm still having trouble transforming without passing out or almost passing out. However last night he promised me if all goes well today I can go home. I am ready.
One question I keep asking myself is what am I going to do once I'm released? Should I go back to Titan's Tower with my teammates? They've tried to visit me on multiple occasions, but I had Robynn or whoever is on duty turn them away. I feel bad for avoiding them, but the truth is I'm still too terrified to face them. The other option would be to forge my own path and leave Jump City for good. I'll only do that if Raven is willing to come with me.
"Hey." I open my eyes to see Robynn in the doorway. "How are you feeling?"
I shrug my shoulders. "'M all right. I'm ready to get out of here."
"I bet you are. Don't worry. I think you're healthy enough to go home tonight."
"Good," I mumble, closing my eyes again.
"In the meantime are you up for a visitor? I promise it's not your teammates."
Her question catches me off guard. Who would come visit me besides Raven? "Who?"
"A woman named Olivia. She says she knows you from the comic book shop in the mall."
My eyes snapped open. I was totally not expecting my friend from the comic book shop to come see me. It would be nice to talk to someone for a while. "Yeah sure. I'd like that."
Robynn opens the door a little wider. Liv enters, wearing her usual black tank top and jeans. The top she's wearing this time says Girls Like Comic Books Too in cursive purple writing. Her shoulder length hair is down, like always, with a black hairband to complete the look. In her hand is a black bag with the logo DC Comics on the front-indicating the name of the shop.
"Hey BB," Liv says lightly. "How are you feeling?"
"Bored," I admit to my friend. "I just finished the comics I bought last week. Though I am happy that Syke finally got together with the popular reporter Mariah."
Her brown eyes light up. "I know, right?! I've been wanting them to get together for ages. Well, if you need some new reading material here is the newest issue. Just came out yesterday."
I smile gratefully, accepting the gift. "Thanks. I appreciate that." I place the bag on the table along with other gifts from the Titans and some of my fans. I haven't had the courage to open the gifts from my teammates yet.
"Of course. After all, you are my favorite Titan."
Her comment gives me a major confidence boost. "Thanks." I wonder how she knows that I'm in here. On the other hand, the downside of being a superhero is when something major happens, the entire city knows about it. We are quiet for a few minutes before I break the silence. "So I guess you know everything, huh?"
"Only that you were captured and tortured by Slade and that you won't see any of the Titans besides Raven. I'm sorry for everything you've gone through. If you ever need to talk, you can always come to me. "
I nod mutely. I don't look at her. Her words are comforting, but I'm not close enough with her to tell her about everything I've been through. She wouldn't understand. Then something catches my eye. It's a black semicolon on her left wrist with a date underneath. 7/24/94. I stare at in shock. Everyone knows what a semicolon tattoo means. Liv has always been so perky and cheerful since the day I met her. Surely she hasn't...
"You...you have a semicolon tattoo," I stutter. "You..."
She glances at the black tattoo on her wrist then looks at me so seriously it's like she's a different person. "Just once. A long time ago."
"Why?"
"It was after my sister died. She had been sick for a long time and when she finally passed away I stopped caring about everything. We were very close and losing her was like losing a part of myself." She sighs sadly, tracing the tattoo with a finger. "One day I just couldn't take it anymore so I took a bunch of pills, drank a bottle of vodka and waited for Death to claim me."
I can't stop staring at my friend. I had no idea. "Who saved you?"
"My husband. We were dating at the time. He found me and took me to the hospital." A smile spreads across her face briefly. "I was so mad at him."
"Are you okay now? " I ask in concern.
"Yes," Liv tells me reassuringly. "It took a couple of years of group therapy and the support of my husband, but I'm okay. I still think about suicide from time to time, but I constantly remind myself that I have so much to live for."
(A/N: This story about me is true except for the tattoo and the suicide attempt.)
For the first time in the three years I've known her I feel a connection with Liv. She truly does understand. "I did some things that I'm not proud of," I tell her quietly. "I hurt my teammates unintentionally and they shunned me, even after I apologized repeatedly. Finally I couldn't handle the guilt and cold shoulder anymore. I had a gun, but Raven stopped me before I could follow through. She is what I keep holding on to."
I expect Liv to be horrified by my story. Instead I can see that she truly understands how I felt at the time, because she's been there herself. "I'm so glad Raven was there for you. In time things will get easier and you'll be able to let go of your guilt. All you have to do is believe in yourself. And for what it's worth, I believe in you."
"Thanks." I reach over and give her a brief, but meaningful hug. "You're a great friend."
"Anytime. So, what do you think Syke's next adventure is going to be about?" she asks back in her normal tone of voice.
"I don't know. I am interested to see if Syke will find out that Mariah is actually his arch nemesis the Bandit Garnet."
Liv and I spend the next hour discussing comics and our theories about what is going to happen in the newest issue. For the first time in a while I finally feel a little bit like my old self, though deep down I know that I'll never be the same person I once was.
An hour after Liv left I find myself staring at the round clock on the wall beside the 24 inch flat screen TV across from my bed. For once I don't feel like watching anything or reading the comic that Liv gave me. Instead my mind keeps replaying the conversation I had with her. I had no idea how much she and I are alike. She's a kindred spirit.
Even though I have someone to turn to and Raven to love I don't think I can go back to Titan's Tower-or stay in Jump City for that matter. I will never forget what the others have done to me. Staying would be a constant reminder of how fast they were willing to turn against me. I won't be able to truly heal and move on. But where should I go? An even better question: would Raven be willing to come with me?
I think about the dream I had before I woke up in the hospital. The dream where I was able to escape to my happy place in Africa; when I finally saw my parents. I long to be there right now with all the different animals and the smells of the jungle. It would be so tempting to quit the hero lifestyle and spend the rest of my days with the girl of my dreams. Sounds like a solid plan. Now all I have to do is figure out how I'm going to tell Raven.
"Just got a call from the doctor," Robynn says, knocking on my open door. "He'll be here in thirty minutes."
"Good. I'm ready to get out of here." I notice the nurse is wearing more make up than usual. Her long red hair is curled neatly down her back. I've never seen her fixed up so nicely. "You look nice," I comment.
"Thanks," Robynn says. "I've got a date after my shift tonight."
A date. That's a great idea. Once I get released I can take Raven out on a date. I can take her to her favorite cafe, then a walk in the park. We need some time alone. Besides it'll be a good excuse to avoid going back to the Tower. It would be a perfect opportunity to ask Raven to come with me to Africa.
"So who are you going on a date with?" I ask Robynn.
"Someone I've known for a long time. This will be the first time going out as more than friends." I hear the nervousness in her voice.
I give her an encouraging smile. "Sounds like fun. I'm sure it'll be great."
"What was your first date with Raven like?" Robynn asks, glancing at the screen of the monitors surrounding me and jotting something down on her clipboard.
"Heh, we haven't exactly been on a date yet," I say, rubbing the back of my neck. "Things have been a little crazy since we've gotten together, I haven't been able to ask her yet. I hope to take her out tonight if she says yes."
"Yes," a monotone voice says from the doorway.
A grin spreads across my face. "Hey babe." Raven comes closer, giving me a sweet kiss on the lips. "I missed you."
Raven raises an eyebrow. "I've only been gone a couple of hours. "
"Too long," I murmur, kissing her again. "The doctor should be here really soon then I can finally get out of here. We can go anywhere you'd like. We can get pizza or visit your favorite cafe. Or-."
"Garfield, I need to tell you something," Raven interrupts. I stop talking immediately. I notice her expression is more serious than usual-which is saying something. "I didn't come alone. Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg are in the waiting room. I told them you would see them so they could apologize."
My face drains of color, my blood running cold. "You did WHAT?! Why would you do that after everything they've done to me?!"
Raven lets out a stressed sigh. "After you told me everything I was angry. So angry that I wanted the others to see what they've done through your eyes. I sent them to the past so that they could feel what you felt.
When I went to the Tower to collect your things I could feel their emotions. All of them feel terrible for what they've done to you and want more than anything to apologize. They are falling apart physically and emotionally. Just being around them made me feel sick because I could feel their emotions so strongly. I guess I took pity on them. And honestly, I thought it would be good for you to face the people who hurt you so that you can start to heal."
I'm trying so hard not to be angry at Raven, but it's not easy. After everything I've been through, the last thing I want is to see Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg. In fact I never want to see them again if I can help it. I want to say it's because I'm angry when in truth I'm beyond terrified. What if I forgive them and it happens again? I wouldn't be able to handle it the second time. I can't see them. I just can't. "I won't see them," I say, folding my arms and looking away.
"Garfield..."
"I'm going to go check on my other patients," Robynn says quickly, hurrying out of the room.
"Look, I appreciate that you're trying to help me, Raven, I really do, but despite the fact that they are sorry and want to apologize for what they done, I won't be able to forgive them. The reason being that they wouldn't be feeling guilty and upset if you hadn't said anything. They would still be hating me right now. They are only feeling guilty because you showed them my pain-not because they truly are."
Even though I'm not supposed to, I get out of the bed and walk unsteadily to the other side of the room I look out the window. The street is busy with cars passing by. Everything seems to be normal. It isn't. Far from it.
"You can't avoid them forever," Raven says.
"Yes I can," I say in determination. Deep down I know she's right. Even if I do decide to leave I still have to go back to the tower to gather my things.
"Look, I understand why you're afraid."
"I'm NOT afraid-."
"Did I come at a bad time," a male voice interrupts.
Dr. Haevert enters the room. Raven and I stop arguing immediately. Faster than the Flash I get back in bed as if I never left in the first place. I forget about my anger briefly. All that matters now is that I get medically cleared and finally released. "Come in."
Nobody says a word while the doctor checks up on my remaining injuries. "I am very pleased with your recovery. You're healing a lot faster than I expected, but before I release you I want you to try morphing again. If you can do so without complication then you are free to go."
I force myself to calm down completely. I need to concentrate. I close my eyes. I decide to turn into something small so that I don't strain myself. I think of a rat: tiny body, tiny paws, feet, and a thin long tail. Instantly I feel myself change. The burns on my chest and back flare up, but not nearly as painful. Instead it feels like rubber bands are being slapped against my skin. For once I don't feel nauseous or lightheaded. I blink back, taking in the huge world around me. Then I turn back into myself.
"How do you feel?" Dr. Haevert asks.
"I feel pretty good," I tell the doctor honestly.
"Excellent. I'll get your discharge papers ready. I want to see you in two weeks to keep an eye on those burns. In the meantime I don't want you to resume your hero work just yet. Give it more time for the injuries to heal."
I nod, shaking his hand. "Thanks Doc."
"Anytime." He leaves the room.
"Are you sure you're okay," Raven asks quietly a minute later.
"I will be," I answer, not looking at her. I glance at the pile of clothes that she brought me. My uniform is folded neatly at the end of the bed, along with my silver belt and shoes. "I guess I better change."
Before I can open the bathroom door, I feel Raven grasp my hand. "Beast Boy?"
"Yeah?"
"You have every right to be angry with me. If you don't want to see them, you don't have to, but I know that it will really help you if you face your fears."
I don't respond to her. I close the door behind me. I lean against the door, shutting my eyes. Slowly I start to calm down. Honestly, I'm not mad at Raven. I know that she's only trying to do what's best for me. And even though I'm having conflict with the others she still cares about Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg. She wants to be the peacemaker. She's always been that way.
Despite how strong my pain and fear is, I know that she's right. I can't avoid them forever. If I don't take this opportunity to face my teammates I might never get that chance again, and that would bother me for the rest of my days. Besides, Raven will be with me the whole time. She'll keep me strong. What's the worst that could happen?
I put on my purple and black uniform. It feels so good to be wearing it again. It's like I gained a part of myself back. As I put on my silver belt and shoes I try to think about what I'm going to say to Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg-if I say anything at all. I take a deep, shuddering breath, my heart racing like a jack rabbit. I can do this.
I find Raven sitting at the edge of my bed when I reenter the room. Her pale face is expressionless, as always, but I notice her lilac eyes light up when she sees me. Her reaction makes me feel so good on the inside. I let out a sigh. "I'm sorry, Raven. You are right. I am afraid-terrified actually, but I've never been the type to run away from my fears." I struggle to get my next words out. "I will see them."
Raven smiles at me. She gets up, placing her hands on my chest. "That's the changeling I love." I tuck a strand of violet hair behind her ear and give her a tender kiss. I close my eyes as I get lost into her. I struggle to remain calm. I hope with all my heart that I can do this.
Once Robynn gives me the discharge papers, Raven and I don't waste any time leaving the room. The walk down the long hallway towards the double doors with the red and white exit sign at the top seems to go on forever. With each step I take, the more suffocated I feel. I struggle to breathe. It isn't easy. It's as if large boulders are being pressed against my chest. Finally it becomes too much and I stop right in front of the double doors.
"I-I can't do this," I stammer. My heart is pounding so hard I think it's about to burst. My body starts to tremble from the immense fear.
Raven turns to me, touching my face, her other hand squeezing mine. She gives me an encouraging smile. "Yes you can. Just be strong. I'll be right beside you."
I start to relax the longer I look into her beautiful eyes. It's as if I can see her emotions behind her violet irises encouraging me as well. The heavy feeling in my chest eases up slightly. I can breathe again. I am so grateful to have her by my side. She can keep me strong and I vow to do the same for her if it ever comes to that. Finally I nod. Raven opens the doors.
I spot my teammates almost immediately. They are standing close to the receptionist desk. I take in the sight in front of me. Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg look completely different than the last time I saw them when they came to fight Slade. Instead of the strong, enthusiastic team that I usually know, Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg look worried and extremely upset. With my strong senses I can feel their guilt and shame. It's so strong I can see why Raven felt physically sick. Instead of feeling relieved that they are no longer angry with me, I am still really upset and utterly terrified to see them. And so very awkward. All I want to do is run as far away from here as possible, but I force myself to stay where I am.
Starfire is the first to speak. Her tone of voice is trying to be cheerful, but instead I can hear her guilt. "Beast Boy! I am so elated to see you!" She steps forward in an attempt to hug me. I immediately flinch, stepping back. Less of use. Starfire drops her arms and lowers her head. "I know that I really hurt you. I am so, so very sorry Friend."
"We all are," Cyborg says, his voice cracking. I look at the half robot. Tears are silently running down his cheek. I've never seen Cyborg shed a tear. Never. "You look good BB. If you are willing to come back to the tower, the fridge is fully stocked of tofu and barbecue sauce for you." I continue to watch him. I must be dreaming. "I-I am so sorry for what I did to you. I don't know what I was thinking. I don't have a good reason. If you can't forgive me, I-I'll totally understand."
My insides feel all twisted up hearing the shame in Cyborg's voice. His dark face is begging for forgiveness, the absolute regret in his voice.
This is a tofu-free zone
I bite my lip to force my emotions back. I so badly want to forgive my best friend, but I can't. What he did crushed me. It takes a long time for me to get the courage to look at Robin. My anxiety sky rockets. He is the one I fear the most. Robin's face is paler than I've ever seen it. Tears are stained on his cheeks. He looks nothing like the strong, confident leader I have always known. Instead he looks weak, almost timid. And the pain and regret on his face is stronger than the other two. I'm so used to seeing him looking at me with such hate the fact that he's reacting with such guilt and concern is shocking to me. When he notices me looking at him, Robin lowers his head and his shoulders start sagging.
"Beast Boy," he says so quietly I barely hear him. "I was wrong-so very wrong about you. You were right. I know nothing about you, and it's my fault for never taking the time to become your friend. Instead I judged your harshly and treated you in a way that nobody deserves to be treated. I said so many hurtful things-things I now regret. I am so very sorry." Robin lets out a despondent sigh. "I've been a pathetic excuse for a team leader and a horrible friend. I-if you can find it in you to forgive me, I would be honored to have you back on my team. You're a better hero than I'll ever be."
I should just kick you off the team
I look back and forth between Robin, Cyborg and Starfire. There is no doubt that they are sorry for what they have done to me. I want so badly to forgive them, but find that honestly, I can't. Things will never be the same at the tower and no matter how hard I try, I'll never been able to forget how they made me feel-how they broke me.
There is so much I want to say to them, but I choose to remain silent. Otherwise I'll either get really angry or break down-depending on which emotion comes out first. I wrap an arm around Raven's waist. "Come on Raven," I say in a strained voice. "Let's get out of here."
Without another word Raven and I walk past the others and out of the hospital doors at long last. The bright sunlight blinds me for a brief second, but the heat feels good. Only then am I able to breathe again, my heartbeat slowly goes back to its normal pace.
"Are you all right?" Raven asks.
I finally look at my girlfriend, forcing a reassuring smile on my face. "I will be. I promise." I kiss her lightly on the forehead. "Now, where would you like to go for our date?"
Raven
I have never been on a real date before, so I wasn't sure what to expect. So far it has been the most amazing experience. I know that I will never forget this night.
Our date so far has been full of compromises. First we went to my favorite cafe for tea and a poetry reading. Then we had dinner at Beast Boy's favorite tofu restaurant. I wasn't brave enough to try the tofu, but they thankfully had other options on the menu so I settled for a salad and soup. Finally we went to see the new horror movie Wicked Scary II. I was completely freaking out, just like last time, but I was able to keep my powers under control thanks to Beast Boy's embrace during the scary parts.
"So what did you think of the movie?" I ask Beast Boy as we leave the theater. The outside is just as dark as inside the theater. Bright stars shine above us. It must be close to midnight.
"It was great," Beast Boy responds enthusiastically. "I definitely wasn't expecting the twist at the end."
"That's the best thing about horror movies. They usually have good twists at the end." Beast Boy squeezes my hand affectionately. I squeeze back. "So it's almost midnight. What do you want to do next?" I ask. "Or do you just want to call it a night."
"Honestly I'm not ready to go back home yet," Beast Boy says seriously. "I'd rather wait until the others are asleep."
I nod in understanding. I know that his emotions are still reeling from the encounter from the others. I'm so proud of him for facing the people who hurt him and handling it so well. He deserves a break. "All right. So what would you like to do?"
"Let's go for a walk," he suggests, indicating to the park that is up ahead.
"Okay."
This is SO romantic! Love gushes in my head. Surprisingly I agree with her. The park is lit up with sphere shaped lights that dangle between lamp posts. Red, yellow, and orange leaves are on the soft looking grass and various colors of flowers scatter the area. It is absolutely breathtaking. The best part is there no one else on the gray path. Finally after everything, Beast Boy and I are alone.
We don't talk for a while. Instead we are enjoying the beautiful scenery around us and each other's company. I break the silence after ten minutes when a question I've always wanted to ask comes out.
"Where are you from?"
"I was born in Africa, but have lived in many different places."
"Oh. I figured that because you're green you'd be from a different planet like Starfire."
Beast Boy chuckles lightly. "Nope. I was born on Earth. I didn't always look like this. I used to have the same color skin as Robin, except I had blonde hair and blue eyes."
"How did you get like this then?" I ask in curiosity.
"My parents were scientists, trying to figure out a way to bring back extinct animals. That's why they were in Africa when I was born. One day when I was four years old I got really sick with a disease called sakutia, more commonly known as green fever. It's lethal to humans.
In an attempt to save my life my parents developed a serum from a green monkey and injected me with it. I survived, but it turned me permanently green and gave me my shape shifting abilities."
"Wow. I had no idea," I say in awe.
"What about you? What's Azarath like? Is it very different from Earth?"
"Azarath isn't a planet, actually. It's another dimension." I hesitate, wondering how much I should tell my boyfriend about my past. There are things that I don't want him, or anyone else to know. "My mother is human-born in Gotham. My father is a demon...known as Trigon.
"He was the huge scary red dude in your mind."
Right," I say, pleased that he still remembers the adventure in my mind. "After I was born, Trigon had my mother take me to Azarath where I was raised by the monks and the priest, Azar. They helped me control my powers to keep my demon side from taking over."
I sigh deeply. "My father is pure evil. Ever since I came to Earth I've been determined to do good things-to show the world that I'm not like my father. I want to be a hero."
Beast Boy and I stop walking. Gently he cups my cheek. "You are a hero. You're strong and selfless. Not to mention you saved me in more ways than one. Half-demon or not, being with you makes me feel whole again."
His words make me feel good all over. "Thanks Garfield."
"Anytime Raven."
"Rachel," I whisper, not taking my eyes off my green skinned boyfriend. "My real name is Rachel."
"Rachel. I really like that. All right, Rachel it is."
Beast Boy gives me a passionate kiss. I melt into his warm kiss and respond with so much feeling. He is my one and only soul mate and I vow to never let go of him again.
"Rave-Rachel there is something I want to talk to you about," he says once we pull away. He looks completely serious.
"What is it?"
"I've decided to leave the Titans. In fact, I'm planning on leaving Jump City all together. I want to start over in a place where I truly feel comfortable." He takes my hands in his. "Will you come with me?"
"Where are you wanting to go?" I ask.
"Africa. It's the only place where I truly felt at home. I want to be surrounded by the animals I grew up with. We can start a new life, just the two of us."
I stay silent for a full minute, thinking it over. I am not at all surprised that he wants to go-not that I blame him. I want to go with him more than anything, but I'm hesitant. Titans Tower is the first real home I ever had. It would be so hard to just up and leave it. "What about the citizens of Jump City? It's our duty to protect them."
"Robin, Cyborg, and Starfire will still be around to protect them."
"Garfield, if we leave, the Teen Titans will cease to exist. Starfire almost left this morning to go back to Tamaran because of the guilt she feels." Beast Boy sighs, lowering his gaze. "I know that you've been badly hurt and your trust has been broken, but I also know that the other Titans desperately want to make it up to you."
I can feel the inner conflict that he's battling at this very moment. A part of him still cares very much about his teammates and wants to make up with them. The other part desperately wants to go. There's got to be a compromise so that I can take time to think about his offer and Beast Boy doesn't regret his decision later.
"I'll make you a deal," I offer. "Let's go back to the Tower and see how everything goes. Then if you want to leave, we'll go."
Beast Boy remains silent for a few minutes. Then he reluctantly looks at me with a forced smile on his face. An expression that I'm unfortunately getting used to. "All right."
By the time we get back home it's nearly two in the morning. The tower is silent, indicating that the others are asleep, as he hoped. After sharing a kiss goodnight we retire to our respective bedrooms. For the rest of the night I lay in my bed wide awake, my mind replaying all the events that have occurred today. I hope that my suggestion is a good idea and Beast Boy will mend the bond with the rest of the team. If not, it might be time to say goodbye to the Teen Titans.
To be continued...
