Decided to get right to work on this one, since I had taken such a long break on the previous chapter.
I hope you liked it, because I worked really hard to get it out last Sunday, it turned out longer then I had expected, so that is why.
Good news, there will be no more fighting scenes like the last three! Most of the content from here on out will be normal life, coping, self discovery, feelings and much, much more.
This is where it really becomes a Reylo, in my opinion- but you'll have to decide for yourselves.
I'm still on the fence about making a new story. I fear that if my new idea takes off, I will lose passion for this story. Since this one has a largish following for a FanFic I would feel ashamed to stop it before it is over.
Of course, if you would want to see the new idea, I might add a sneak peak or snippet from it in the coming chapters if you so desire.
Leave a review if you want another story, if you don't I'll just wait until this one is over to start.
Anyways, this is on pace to be my most acclaimed project yet. If my math is right, about 5 more chapters and it will be! That will be cause for celebration; your gift? Haha, wait to find out...
I know, you don't care.
On with the story,
-London
It had been three days, wait, no. It had been four days since the battle on the mining planet, and during that time Rey heard nothing from Finn. In fact, she hadn't personally seen him since she forced tricked him into leaving her alone, and her guilt was eating up her insides. It was great, having Ben Solo finally around and free to be the version of himself so little had seen, but she couldn't help to feel as if she abandoned her oldest friend in the process. Sighing, she turned in her hammock. It was a chilly night, so she was curled up in multiple blankets. Aside from mediation, this was one of the few moments Rey could think in peace.
"BB-8, what do you think?" She called over the droid, who sat in the corner of her hut on low power mode. Rey was tired of debating with herself, she needed someone to talk too since Ben was with Poe, discussing whether or not he should stand trial. As she had suspected, Poe and Ben had hit it off, so the thought of a Ben Solo trial was not at the forefront of her mind. BB slowly hummed back to operational power levels, beeping his confusion to Rey's question.
"About Finn, buddy not about if dinner was good!" She smiled, he was such a good droid. Part of her wondered if he could sense her confliction, like she did with Ben. BB beeped his reply again, rolling across the floor to get beside the hammock where she lay.
"I know, he seems upset- that is my fault." Rey rolled over, looking down at the droid. His white paint stuck out in the dark of her hut. The time was just after midnight, but Rey didn't bother to check her clock. BB beeped his approval, he had already seen Finn yesterday
"Thanks for that." Rey felt her stomach sink as he confirmed that Finn was, and still is, angry with her. Rey would have to agree with him, Finn had every right to be upset with her. Serves me right, I should have been more honest. BB beeped something else, which made Rey's head shoot up.
"He is what?" She shook her head, in disbelief. BB confirmed what he had just said, beeping a few more times to explain the situation. Rey sat up, groggy from her attempt at sleep. BB rolled back to give her a place to put her feet, using her hands to grip the side of the hammock, propping herself up.
"Poe is allowing him to do this?" Her face was focused on the droid, her eyes becoming more adjusted to the lighting of her hut. BB nodded, before beeping again to answer her question. Rey was in her usual white undershirt and grey three quarter pants, shaking her head she stood up.
"I don't believe that." She muttered, walking over to the door where she had left her boots. BB rolled over to her, beeping to ask her a question and to inform her that he was telling the truth. Once Rey had grabbed the boots, she knelt down to be at eye level with BB, patting his head.
"Thank you for being honest, buddy." She rose back onto her feet, placing her feet into the boots one foot at a time. BB beeped again, his head tilting up to look at her. "I am going to see him." Rey replied, taking dark grey poncho off the hook, wrapping it around her and buttoning it up so it covered her top half. BB rolled back over to his corner to return to low power mode, beeping his goodnight to the Jedi as she opened the door.
"Goodnight to you too." Rey flashed him a smile before stepping out into the cool, damp Ajan Kloss night. Songs birds, insects and other creatures filled the night with a colorful and erratic pattern of sounds. Rey took a breath, gazing down upon the sleeping Resistance only a few lights were still on below her. A pilot worked on his X-wing, a group of fighters were around a campfire, the bar was still open, two people dashed off into woods hand in hand. Rey snorted, amused, watching the two love birds frolic out of sight. I wish I had an experience like that... she thought sheepishly. Taking a deep breath, she could feel every feeling on the base: anger, happiness, sadness, lust, longing, conflict and resolution. People will think I'm odd, just standing here, feeling stuff Rey chuckled to herself, beginning her descent towards the main barracks. Feeling stuff? Is that what I'm going to call it now! Shaking her head, she nearly slipped on a mossy root that was sticking out of the dirt, waiting to claim its first victim.
"Whoa." Regaining her balance, Rey continued her walk down. On the way, she realized that she can feel everyone else's feelings, why can't she feel her own? I know what I like, who I am and what I want... she kicked a pebble and it rolled off into the brush on the side of the path. I want to apologize to Finn, and get my friend back. Rey found that arguing with ones self was the hardest argument to win. But you want something, more. She hesitated at her own thoughts, standing at the base of the hill now. Preposterous! Rey, you have everything you need, great friends and a family. Jedi can't be avaricious! Continuing to walk forward, she blocked out anymore unreasonable thoughts, except one. She quickly shoot her head, freeing herself of that kind of thought.
"You're stupid, Rey." She cursed to herself, looking down at her feet. Unaware of the presence of Poe Dameron walking up to her. His discussion with Ben was over, and had allowed him to stay in the falcon, instead of Rey's hut. Poe smiled, Rey was an odd one. Many times had he caught her talking to herself, or someone the year they had spent on Ajan Kloss. Finn had said it was just Force stuff, but Poe had always suspected she was keeping something from them. One time, he recalled clearly, was a winter day in the jungle. Poe had been looking for BB-8 when he came across Rey, sitting in the forest, angrily taking about how 'You should have left with me' and 'Oi! Don't say that'. He recalled her blush, stand up and whisper in a low voice 'I don't care if it is true, stop ogling me!'. Content on never bringing it up again, Poe had almost forgotten about it until now.
"What are you doing out so late?" The ace's voice startled Rey, who looked up at him with wide eyes. She had nothing to hide, and was sure Finn had told him about how rude she was. Why was she nervous?
"I'm going to see a friend." Rey replied with a level headed tone, still nervous for whatever reason. The distance they stood at was awkward, kind of far but any closer would be too close. Poe raised his eyebrows, giving Rey a look. He was shameless to a fault, but it only added to his character.
"I get that, who is the lucky guy?" He crossed his arms, smiling at how she got angry. He loved annoying her, and at times she didn't mind. Rey opened her mouth to protest, but was cut off by Poe. "Is it one of my pilots?" There was a slight pause, Poe's eyes gleamed with mischief. Rey opened her mouth to rebuttal his idea, but was cut off again. "Or is it that smoldering hunk of a man-"
"Neither, I'm not here for any of those reasons." It was Rey's turn to cut him off, Poe smiled at her take charge attitude. She sighed, continuing her explanation. "I'm looking for Finn, have you seen him?" She gazed up at him, concern in her eyes. Upon hearing his name, Poe knew what this was about. His expression tightened and he pointed towards the bar.
"I saw him earlier in there, but he might have gone to his quarters by now." He walked over to Rey, who's eyes tracked him like a honing missile, and placed a hand on her shoulders. Rey looked over and up to look at him, his face was grim. "He told me he wanted to leave, if you could try to convince him to stay, please." She had forgotten, that Finn and Poe were like brothers. Realizing now that her actions not only hurt her friendship with the ex storm trooper, that it also hurt Poe too. Fighting back tears, she nodded.
"That was what I am on my way to do." Poe took his hand off her solid shoulder, returning it to his side. She looked away, feeling her sadness grow, she did not want Poe to see her cry.
"I'll see you later then, Rey." Poe nodded affirmatively before walking away from her. He had guessed she didn't want him around, after all, they hadn't really shared intimate stories. Now was not the time to start, she had her own business to take care of. Maybe they could share a drink or two some other time.
"Bye." Rey called back, sounding dull. She hadn't moved yet until his footsteps were no longer audible. Wiping her a tear away from her cheek, she continued her walk to find Finn. Despite Poe's tip, she had sensed he was not at the bar. To avoid any delays, she skipped over that stop and went straight to where she knew Finn's quarters were.
The base on Ajan Kloss was similar to the one on D'qar. Both used the natural features of the planet to house the rebellion, only this time, Ajan Kloss had a lot more tree cover. The barracks were craved out of the hills, so were the hangers and all of the other vital parts to a military base. Rey had to walk across the runway, past the medical bay and around a half destroyed X-Wing (that for some reason had been parked in the middle of the runway) before she could even step foot into the main living areas. Since the Resistance wasn't that large, a lot of the soldiers had a fair amount of living space. The higher rank you were, the more you got from that as well.
Rey took a step inside, the hallway was still lit up, but almost every door was shut. She had only been inside this place a few times before, and she felt awkward just being there. Slowly, she walked down the long hall, counting off the numbers on the passing doors. She knew Finn's number was seventy three, but vaguely remembered where the room actually was. Her footsteps seemed to be amplified due to the time of night, making her feel self conscious.
"Sixty one... sixty three..." Rey counted each passing door, drawing nearer and nearer to her final destination. She was nervous, as she approached door seventy three. Once she had reached it, Rey stood outside of the door, waiting. She new the basis of what she was going to say, how much she was sorry. How she missed him, and how she regret her actions. He owes me an apology too, she thought for a moment, remembering how he had called her by her families name.
Rey hadn't even touched the door when it swung open, making her jump slightly. Finn stood in front of her, his face one of sadness and discomfort. It pained her too see it.
"Hey, Rey." Finn said, his voice like sandpaper. He stepped aside allowing her to walk in, which she did. Awkwardly at first, taking in the sights of his quarters. It smelled, and felt cozy. Reaching out with the force, Rey felt an aura of peace, tranquility and... conflict, fear and lastly anger. I couldn't have caused all this, could I? Rey took a seat in a comfy looking arm chair, once she sat, it confirmed it was comfy. Finn turned to look at her, shutting the door and slowly walking over to sit on his bed.
"Finn, I needed to talk to you-" Rey began, but was cut off by Finn politely silencing her. Closing her mouth, Rey gazed at him with wide eyes, awaiting what her friend had to say next. Finn rubbed his knee for a moment, then spoke.
"I'm sorry, Rey. For what I said, how I acted... I was being selfish." He almost sounded choked up, which was odd for Finn. Rey didn't smile at first, she almost felt guilty that he felt sorry and not her, after all it was her that had all the explaining to do. "I should have taken Ky-" Rey winced "Ben Solo coming home better. I should have trusted you, I should have told you..." His voice trailed off, and his head dropped to inspect the floor. Rey tilted her head, something else was bothering him.
"It is okay, Finn, you do not need to be sorry." Rey rubbed her arm, still feeling a dull pain on her side from the battle a few days prior. "I should have confided in you first, about Ben. I should have told you it was okay, explained everything..." Rey debated in her mind Should I tell him about the Force bond? Maybe not now, but she promised she would. "I know how it must've made you feel; and I'm so, so sorry." Finn picked his head up to look at her, excepting her apology with his soft gaze she had grown to love.
"In the sinking fields, remember how I was going to tell you something?" His gaze hardened to a more serious tone, and Rey started to panic. She had already spent a fair amount of time guessing what he wanted to say, coming to several conclusions. Please don't say you love me, not like that- no, why would I be mad? I would have to turn him down, it would break his heart! Why would I reject him? He is a great man! Do I feel for another, yes. Of course I do, I always had. In a moment of panic Rey's mind jumped from stone to stone. Afraid of what was going to come next, her back muscles grew stiff. Don't make me say no...
"Rey..." She prepared herself as if she was going to be shot by a blaster. Here it comes... "Rey, I'm force sensitive."
That was unexpected, at least to Rey it was. Reaching out with the force, she tried to find him, but she couldn't. Odd... maybe he is having trouble allowing it in. Either way, this was great news.
"Finn!" Rey's voice was light "This is great! Have you tried to lift rocks, read the Jedi text!?" Rey was enthusiastic about this discovery, sending her belly into a nesting ground for butterflies. Finn, however, looked up at her solemnly, giving off mixed signals to her. "Finn.." He shook his head, point to a small mound of stones in the corner.
"I-I can't... Rey. I've tried! For hours, even..." Rey felt his pain from across the room, triggering her sympathetic nature deeply rooted in her heart. She stands, walking over to be next to him, stepping on a book. Rey looked down, it was one of the Jedi text. He must've taken it when I was not around. Sitting next to him on the bed, she took his hand in hers.
"Why didn't you tell me, I could have helped you learn." He voice is soothing, like the coo of a dove. She used their connection to search him, to see if he had any potential to be a Jedi.
"I spoke to Maz, she knows the Force." Rey continued to search, finding nothing but a small tug. He looked up at her, his eyes teary "She said, that some people can feel the Force, but not use it." Rey ended the connection, choosing to believe his words.
"Maz isn't a Jedi..." Rey tried to comfort her friend, even though she knew Maz was right. She had been the one to know Rey had her power before Rey even knew. Finn shook his head, avoiding eye contact.
"Rey, she's like- a thousand years old." He wiped a tear off his cheek. "She told me herself, that 'I can feel the Force, just not use it.'" Rey patted his back, still holding onto his hand. Feelings of failure seeped into her mind as the connection she didn't feel at first sparked to life. "I am a failure to the Resistance, too much pressure is on you- and now Ben. If I could have used the Force like a Jedi, like you... I could have helped so many more people." Finn finished with a sob.
"You're not a failure, Finn. Not to me." As she spoke her words Rey saw the parallels between what she just said and what Ben, Kylo Ren, had said to her many of times on Force bond talks and in person after defeating Snoke. Finn smiled a bit, but still the sadness radiated off his body.
"How can I feel it, but not be able to use it?" Finn asked, momentarily looking at Rey as if she knew the answer. However, she had no idea how to answer that. She had only been training for a year, many things were still unknown to her. Then she remembered something she had read in one of Luke's books.
"The ability to use the Force, often runs in families." Rey Palpatine she thought bitterly "In one of the text, it spoke of a Jedi Church, open to everyone. Not just Force Users." Finn picked his head up, interested. "Maybe, somewhere along the line, your grandparents or even great-grandparents worshiped there." Finn, much like Rey (Before she learned her lineage) had no idea who his real parents were.
"Do you think, this knowledge could have been passed on through genetics?" This was sort of a dumb question, but Rey didn't mind. She was here to comfort her friend, who she had nearly thought she lost.
"Yes! Silly, how else can you explain me? Or Ben Solo? Or even Luke and Leia?" She gave him a smile for reassurance. Finn's eyes sparkled, Rey was working her magic. Her ability to make others feel better was second to none in the entire Resistance. Finn stood up in a flash, almost knocking Rey into the bed, she giggled.
"Rey! I need to find where I come from, I need too!" He urgently went over to a closet, grabbing a bag as Rey leaned up on his bed. She smiled, feeling the same energy she had felt in him before all this mess had happened. Smiling she stood up too, making her way towards the exit.
"If you need any help, you know how to contact me." Rey smiled, turning to go. Finn still dashing around behind her, picking up random items to stuff into his bag, realizing Rey was leaving, he ran up to her.
"Thank you." Finn said, grabbing Rey by the shoulder, spinning her around and embracing her with a hug. As if Rey's smile couldn't get any bigger, it now stretched from ear to ear. She let her chin rest on her shoulder, like the many times they had hugged before. I got my brother back. She thought to herself, entrapped in the long embrace.
"I have to go now, Finn. I have some matters to attend with." Finn acknowledged, breaking the hug and allowing her to leave. Waving a last goodbye before closing the door behind her.
Now in the quiet confines of the hall, Rey took a deep breath, feeling a weight get lifted off her chest. Helping Finn, and making amends, was something she had been worried about for days. With that out of the way, she had time to focus on her and what she needed.
"What do I need?" She spoke aloud to herself, blocking out the surroundings as she walked. Life, for her, had become very clear as of the past few days. Actually, it always had been. For the vast majority of her life, she focused on surviving Jakku's harsh environment. Barely getting enough to eat, finding parts, fighting off other scavengers, and waiting for her parents. Life was very cut and dry back then, Rey rarely had any time to herself. When she did find free time on that desolate desert planet, she spent it selling extra parts or enjoying a recovered Imperial flight simulator. Thinking hard, Rey had developed a sense of herself while barely even thinking about it. The only time she recalled a real sense self discovery was at night as a hormonal teenager stuck in her AT-AT, alone. Rey snorted laughingly at her own past, stepping back out into the fresh air of the runway. After she had been flung into this conflict, her new purpose was to help the fight against the First Order. Well that quickly changed, she thought to herself. After defeating Kylo Ren on Starkiller base, her main focus was all about Luke and her training to become a Jedi. That faded for a moment, as she recalled fighting Luke because she thought Kylo could turn. She was wrong that day, but right in the long run.
Rey hurried past the bar, not wanting to get tangled up with drunken soldiers. Alight, back to you. She nearly whispered that aloud, slowing down once she neared hangar B. After return to save the Resistance on Krait, her entire year was spent training with Leia, reading ancient text and sometimes going on missions to fight. Realizing it now, she barely had anytime to herself. Sheesh, she snickered making her way up the hill, I was pretty damn devoted.
Being careful this time to avoid any evil roots, attempting a sinister assassination, she made her way back to her hut. I had no time for me, no indulgence... I guess it was against the Jedi code. But why must they be so uptight? Rey had made it to the top, using the Force to open her door. No time for satisfaction, no time for fun or play. Sadly, she remembered they were in a war.
"It is important not to loose one's self!" She whispered to herself, unbuttoning her poncho, placing it on the hook. BB was deep in low power mode, but he had an acute audio chip, so Rey took extra caution in being quite. Slipping her boots off, she sat down on her bed. Sighing, she realized she was much hotter then before. Standing up, Rey slide off her pants so she was just in her undershirt and delicates.
Laying down, she pulled her blanket up to around her belly button. This is comfortable... odd, I didn't remember it feeling this good! She smirked none the less, lifting her head up to adjust her pillow. Everything felt better, but she didn't feel tired, she felt electric... hmmm Rey thought for a moment, gazing out a small window to see the moon. It cast a pale light onto her face, illuminating parts of her room. Glancing over, she saw that Ben's clothes where lit up by the moonlight. Rey's thoughts began to drift, imagining him, shirtless again.. taking off his clothes slowly. Rey bit her lip, blushing at her own self.
"Stop it!" She hissed, feeling the electric feeling grow in her lower stomach and between her thighs. Wait... Her eyes sparkled for a brief moment and a had drifted below the covers, light caressing her thigh. "Maybe this is what I need..." She breathed those words, her voice low and husky. Let your mind wander Rey... she instructed herself, glancing back over to Ben's garments. Her hand moved from her thigh to her stomach, increasing the electric feeling until it almost was throbbing between her legs.
Her face and chest were now flushed, looking down at her own hand on her stomach, she slowly lowered it... lower, and lower...
Closing her eyes, she leaned her head back, letting herself be ruled by the sensations. Pursing her eye brows, she allowed her desires to manifest, and felt her tension release with each hand motion. Drifting off into the pleasure world she had experienced so few times...
"Mm-" Her eyes shot open, determined to stay quite, she lifted her free hand, placing it into her mouth, muffling her sounds of enjoyment. Now, she fully allowed herself to drift. Opening her eyes again, she couldn't help but rotate her hips; instinct, she assumed. No more thoughts, Rey! Let go...
Listening to her own commands, she floated away into a realm of satisfaction and ecstasy.
I want to keep this T, so I ended that right there.
I really wanted to write more, but it is late and yea, I like being a tease.
As of now, I'm sitting at 49 reviews. Lets get this story to 55, and maybe next time I'll consider continuing Rey's self adventure.
Follows and Favorites are also much appreciated, but I love reading our guy's thoughts. It makes my day!
Until next time, which should be about a week from now...
-London
