Guest: That's really good to know.

Dragontitan: We will be seeing Bismuth and Spinel eventually. Just not this season.

The Crystal Gems were having a game night, and Steven, Pearl, Ruby, and Amethyst were playing Sugarland, one of Steven's favorite board games.

"Oh, what luck! I get to cross the Graham Cracker Bridge!" Pearl moved her piece from one side of the Graham Cracker Bridge to the other, and picked up the dice to hand to Ruby, who was sitting next to her. "Your turn, Ruby."

Ruby took the dice from Pearl. "Okay! C'mon, let's get something good!" She rolled and moved her piece to a square that told her to pick up a card, and she read the card she picked up out loud. "You get sick from eating too many sweets. Move back to start." Ruby grumbled as she moved her piece back to the starting point. Sapphire, who offered to just sit and watch, put a comforting hand on Ruby's shoulder.

"My turn." Amethyst took the dice and rolled an eight, and moved her piece eight spaces. "Bam."

"Okay, now it's my turn." Steven took the dice and rolled a five, which was just the right amount of spaces he needed to move to get to the finish. "Yay! I win again!"

"Good job, kiddo," Ruby congratulated. "Third time in a row."

"Shall we play again?" Pearl asked.

"Nah, I kinda wanna play something else now." Steven put everything back in the box and went upstairs to put it with the other board games. That's when a large, brown leather book caught his eye. "Hm?" Steven took it off the shelf to take a look inside of it. The yellowed pages were full of grainy, black and white photographs of the Gems and his late mother, Rose Diamond, with some other people who looked like they were from the 19th century. "Hey, guys! Look what I found!" Steven came down the stairs with the book in his hands.

"Our old photo album!" Pearl ran over to take it from him. "I was wondering where it was!" Pearl sighed as she hugged it to her chest. "So many memories of years gone by..."

"I saw some pictures of you guys with some people who were dressed like they were from the olden days."

"Those people were from the olden days," Pearl replied. "Let me show you some more pictures." She put the album down on the coffee table and opened it up. She pointed at a couple of photos. "Here we are at the battle of Delmarva in 1830, and here's your mother shaking hands with Beach City's founder." She pointed to another photo on the next page. "Oh! And here's one of-"

"Wait, so if you guys were alive for that stuff, then... how old are you? Not to be rude or anything, I'm just curious."

"We're actually more than 10 thousand years old," Pearl said. "Much older than any human that's ever lived, that's for sure!"

"I'm actually in the 9,000's range, but that's pretty close to 10,000," Amethyst said.

"Cool! So does that mean you guys are immortal?"

"No," Sapphire said. "Gems still age, just at a much slower rate than humans do."

"How much slower?"

"About," Amethyst made a "pshh" sound as she waved a nonchalant hand in the air. "five hundred years, give or take."

"Wow! So that means you have to wait five hundred whole years for your next birthday? I don't think I could wait that long for a birthday party."

"Birthday party?" Ruby questioned, arching an eyebrow. "Kid, Gems don't really celebrate birthdays."

Steven did an exaggerated gasp as if he had just heard the most shocking news in his young life. "Why not?!"

"It just isn't the Gem way," Sapphire answered.

"Well, I can't let this travesty go unresolved!" Steven stood to his feet and pointed at the Crystal Gems. "Mark my words, I'm gonna throw you guys the biggest, awesomest party to make up for all the ten thousand birthdays you've wasted!"

"Cool," Amethyst said.

"Tomorrow, that is," Steven added. "It's kinda late right now. But mark my words, I will throw you guys the best party you've ever seen!" And with that, he ran up the stairs to his loft.


The next day, Steven and Greg were at work setting up decorations for the Gems' birthday party.

"You sure the Gems'll like this, Steven?" Greg asked as he hung the "Happy Birthday" banner over the beach house's door.

"Sure they will!" Steven said as he tied up some balloons. "This party will have everything! Cake, ice cream, balloons, games, the whole shebang!" Steven watched as Lion batted some of the balloons with his paws. "See? Even Lion seems to like it so far!"

"If you say so, but the Gems might not be too big on the whole 'party' deal."

"What do you mean? Everyone loves parties!" Steven finished putting the candles on the sheet cake Greg bought from the bakery. He used the candles that looked like numbers because 10,000 or more candles would be way too many to put on a cake. "There! All done!"

Steven stood back to admire his and his father's work. "Everything looks great! Now all we have to do is wait for everyone to get here so we can get this party started."

Just then, he and Greg heard the ping of the Warp Pad from inside the beach house. The half-Gem boy ran inside to greet the Crystal Gems. "Hey, guys! The party's all set up outside! Come on!" He ran back out onto the beach where the party was set up.

The Gems followed him to see a rectangular folding table with a sheet cake on it, and some white plastic chairs scattered around said table with some balloons of various bright colors scattered on the sand.

"Doesn't look like much of a party," Amethyst observed.

"That's because the guests aren't here yet," Steven replied.

"Guests?" Pearl asked.

"You invited guests?" Ruby asked.

"Just a few people we know," Steven said. And he started counting off his fingers. "Lars, Sadie, the Fryman brothers, Connie, Onion..."

Steven was interrupted when he heard Connie call out to him. "Hey, Steven! I'm here!" She was running over to the Temple holding some books in her arms.

"Connie!" Steven ran over to her and gave her a hug. "I'm so glad you could make it. Are those books presents for the Gems?"

"Yeah. I didn't know what they'd like, so I just went with books."

"Amethyst and Ruby aren't really readers, but I know Pearl likes books. Why don't you put them on the table over there?"

Connie went over to put her present on the table when Lion walked over and sniffed at her, startling her. "Um, Steven?"

"It's okay, he's friendly!"

Just then, a small, pale-skinned boy with a tuft of blond hair on the top of his head came over to the group. It was Onion.

"Onion! You made it!" Steven looked around to see that none of the other guests have arrived. "Hm. Everyone else should be here by now."

"Um, Steven," Pearl spoke up. "you are aware that most of the people you invited have jobs to attend to, right?"

"Oh, yeah. I kinda forgot about that part." Steven's smile deflated a bit, but quickly came back. "But that's okay! We can still have a great party without a lot of guests!" Steven held up a clipboard that held a paper that read "STEVEN'S LIST OF SUPER-AWESOME PARTY ACTIVITIES!" at the top as well as various party activities listed underneath that. "I've written down a list of activities we can do. We don't necessarily have to do them in order, it's just the order I wrote them in. But it's cool if you want to."

"Steven, this party looks nice, and we appreciate you doing this for us," Pearl said. "but we're not exactly sure about this whole 'birthday party' business. This sort of thing is more of a human ritual."

"But you guys always talk about how hard you and Mom fought for humanity," Steven said. "Come on, just give it a chance. I promise you'll love it."

"Well..."

"We should go along with it to make Steven happy," Sapphire told the rest of the Gems.

"Alright," Pearl said. "We'll do it for you, Steven."

"Great! Wait right there!" Steven ran off to grab a plastic crown and a red cape off of one of the chairs. He ran back over to them with the costume in his arms. "Okay! Which one of you wants to be the birthday queen?"

"Birthday queen?" Amethyst repeated in confusion.

"Yeah. My dad crowns me birthday king every year on my birthday. You remember."

"Oh, yeah! That's right! I always wanted to try that stuff on myself."

"Then you can be the birthday queen, Amethyst." Steven put the crown on her head and draped the cape over her shoulders.

Amethyst spread her arms out to look at herself. "Sweet."

"Okay, let's party it up!"


Amethyst was holding a baseball bat as Steven put a blindfold on her. Greg stood across from them holding a long stick with a colorful, horse-shaped piñata tied to the other end on a string. "Okay, Amethyst," Steven said. "Just try to break the piñata open with the bat, and you'll get plenty of candy."

"You got it!" Amethyst stepped forward and took a swing at the piñata, barely avoiding hitting a nervous Greg in the process.

"Uh, Amethyst? Would you mind not swinging so close to my face?"

"I'm trying to hit the piñata! It's kinda hard to see what I'm doing with this blindfold in the way!" Amethyst threw off her blindfold before taking a big swing at the piñata and smashing it to bits, the many pieces of candy inside falling out onto the ground. "Jackpot!" She got down on her knees and started stuffing them in her mouth.

"Amethyst, don't eat so many of them at once!" Pearl chided her. "You're going to make yourself sick!"

In response, Amethyst stood to her feet, and spat a few candies out onto her hand to give them to her. "Here you go. It's your party too, after all."

Pearl recoiled in disgust. "No, thank you!"

"Aw, c'mon." Amethyst shoved the spit-covered candies in Pearl's face while sporting a sly grin. "They're still wrapped, so you don't have to worry about eating my spit."

"Get those slobber-covered confectioneries out of my face!" Pearl smacked the candies out of Amethyst's hand, sending them flying roughly five feet away from the party.

Amethyst crossed her arms. "Jeez, you coulda just said no."

"I did."

"Whatever." Amethyst turned to Steven while Onion picked up the rest of the candies to dump them in the ocean. "Yo, Ste-man! What's next on the list?"

"Let's see..." Steven took a look at his list after he crossed "PIÑATA" off from it. "Musical chairs!"


Everyone stood near a group of three plastic chairs standing side-by-side, back-to-back with another group of three chairs, making six chairs in total. Steven was holding his ukulele.

"Okay, so now I'm gonna start playing my ukulele, and when I stop, you all try to sit in a chair."

Pearl looked at the chairs. "I don't think there are enough chairs here for everyone, Steven."

"I know. That's the point of the game; anyone who's left without a chair loses, and the one to sit in the only chair left at the final round wins."

"Sounds pretty rigged to me," Amethyst said.

"Alright, everyone, get ready!" Steven began strumming a tune on his ukulele, prompting the rest of the group to start walking in a circle around the chairs. Steven played the final note, cuing everyone to scramble for a seat. Greg, Connie, and the four Gems all sat in the chairs, leaving Onion the first one out.

"Onion! You're out! Come stand by me until this game is wrapped up. Get it? Wrapped up? Present joke!"

"Yes, Steven, very clever," Sapphire said as Greg gave a chuckle of approval.

Onion started making his way to the cake before Steven noticed and grabbed him by the wrist. "Oh, no you don't, Onion. We can have cake and ice cream later. Why don't you put one of the chairs away so we can move onto round two?"

Everyone else stood to their feet before Onion grabbed one of the chairs. He then promptly threw it near the table before giving a thumbs-up.

"That wasn't exactly what I meant when I said 'put one of the chairs away,' but whatever works for you, I guess." Steven turned to the remaining players. "Let round two begin!"

Steven played another song on his ukulele, prompting the next round to begin. They kept playing (with Steven keeping a watchful eye on Onion to make sure he doesn't get to the cake) until Ruby and Sapphire were the last two still in the game. They circled the final chair, waiting for the song to end so one of them could make a move. Steven stopped playing his ukulele, but neither Gem dared to step foot near the chair.

"Go on, Sapphire," Ruby said. "You clearly have a better chance of winning than me."

"No, Ruby, I insist," Sapphire said with a sweet smile. "You deserve it."

Ruby blushed as she rubbed the back of her neck. "No I don't."

"Will one of you lovebirds sit down already?" Amethyst asked as she crossed her arms. "I'm starting to get bored over here."

"Maybe we could both sit," Ruby suggested.

"Sorry, Ruby," Steven said. "Only one person per chair."

Ruby looked at the chair, then cast her eyes towards Sapphire, who continued to smile that sweet, gentle smile. "Well... I guess..."

Before Ruby could make her choice whether to go for it or not, Sapphire went over to sit in the chair, winning the game and prompting the red Gem to sigh, half in relief from having to make the choice, and half in disappointment for losing. (She secretly hoped to win, but Sapphire's happiness was more important to her.)

"I didn't want you to have to choose," the blue Gem told her as she put a hand on her shoulder. "I did have a better chance of winning anyway."

Pearl spoke up to get Steven's attention. "Um, Steven?"

Steven turned around to look at her. "Yeah, Pearl?"

"I appreciate what you're trying to do for us, but don't you think maybe we could do something a bit more... mature?"

"What do you mean? Didn't you like the musical chairs?"

"Well, it's just that..." Pearl tried to choose her words carefully so as not to hurt Steven's feelings. "these games we've played are more for young children. In Gem years, we're basically the equivalent of young adults."

Steven consulted his list as he crossed "MUSICAL CHAIRS" off. "Hmm... Let's see what we can find on the list that's more mature..." He carefully scanned the list with his eyes until he spotted an activity he knew a mature demographic would get a kick out of, that activity being Kazoom Racers.


The group was now standing in an empty lot near the Big Donut. There were four small kiddie cars lined up perfectly in a row. "Now this is an activity I know a mature demographic will get a kick out of. Kazoom Racers!"

"What?" Amethyst asked.

"Kazoom Racers. You get in a car, and race each other while playing kazoos." Steven took out a kazoo and blew on it. "What more could you want?"

"Steven, I don't think all of us are gonna fit," Connie pointed out.

"Sure we could! All you have to do is get in." Steven climbed into one of the kiddie cars with some difficulty. "See?"

Onion then climbed into the kiddie jeep next to Steven's car and drove in a circle around the rest of the group before taking off to the boardwalk.

"Look! Onion can fit!"

Amethyst shrugged. "Most of us are just too big, man. I mean, I could probably try and-" She attempted to squeeze into one of the available cars, only to fall over on her side. "Nevermind, I can't do it." And she got up and dusted herself off.

Connie, meanwhile, got into the car on the far right, her knees noticeably sticking out to reach her chest. "Look! I can fit! Kind of."

Steven just sighed and said, "Maybe this activity is more for little kids."

Greg walked over to him and got down on one knee. "You feeling okay, Schtu-Ball?"

"I'm fine," Steven responded dejectedly as he climbed out of his kiddie car. "I think I just need to be alone for a bit." And he walked off back to the beach.


Steven was on the beach picking some half-deflated balloons off the ground while Lion napped under the table.

"Maybe I was wrong to throw a party for the Gems. Maybe I should've gone with a formal get-together like a mature adult would want. All those childish games? Ugh."

Suddenly, his gem started glowing, and he started growing taller, his hair becoming longer and his face gaining some new pimples and facial hair. "They're just so... undignified."

He moved on to stack the plastic chairs on top of each other as he grew taller still, and more muscular, gaining a five-o'-clock shadow. "I mean, seriously, what self-respecting adult would go out of their way to play musical chairs?"

Steven then became fatter and lost some hair from the top of his head as his beard grew longer. "It's all just a big fat waste of time."

Then his hair turned white and grew longer as his back hunched and his face gained some new wrinkles. "We all have such little time..." And with that, Steven fell over on the sand as he went into a coughing fit, which woke up Lion and prompted him to go over to the now-elderly half-Gem and lick him on the cheek. "I feel like I'm getting too old for any of this..."

Just then, everyone who attended Steven's party ran back to the beach.

"Steven?" Pearl spoke. "We're sorry your Kazoom Racers game didn't work out. And I'm sorry I said the games you chose are for young children. I really have nothing against children, I just thought-"

The group stopped in their tracks when they saw Lion lying near an elderly figure who was lying on the sand.

They ran over to get a closer look. Pearl picked him up and brushed the hair from his face, and gasped when she realized who it was. "S-Steven?"

"What happened to him?" Connie asked. "He's turned into an old man!"

"What are we gonna do?" Greg asked the Gems worriedly. "This hasn't happened before, has it?"

"No. It hasn't," Pearl said as tears started to well in her eyes. "Gems age much slower than humans, so it would make no sense that Steven would suddenly age into an elder in the span of one afternoon!"

"I believe his Gem powers might have sped up his aging process in accordance with his mental state," Sapphire said.

"So, we just need to get him to feel young again?" Connie asked.

"Steven!" Amethyst shouted at him. "Stop! Feeling! Old!"

Steven just coughed as his hair grew longer. He pointed a shaky finger at the crown Amethyst was still wearing. "The crown..."

"You want the crown?" Amethyst took off the crown and cape and sat the elderly Steven up to put them on him. "Here! Wear it with pride!" Amethyst stepped back. "You feelin' any younger?"

"No..." Steven's hair grew longer. "Thanks a lot, Amethyst... but I think this old crown and cape just ran out of birthday magic..."

"Snap out of it!" Ruby grabbed Steven by the front of his shirt (which was now too small on him after how much he grew). "C'mon, Steve, don't give up on us!" She shook him vigorously before she was quickly pulled away from him by Sapphire and Amethyst. She then fell to her knees and turned her head to look at Sapphire, quietly asking her, "What are we gonna do?" as tears began rolling down her cheeks.

"I... don't know." A single tear stream ran down the middle of Sapphire's face as she hugged Ruby close to her and began sobbing into her chest, which prompted Ruby to hug back, nearly breaking into sobs herself. Pearl also began sobbing as she hugged Amethyst tightly. "Pearl, let go!" Amethyst cried as she tried to free herself from her grasp.

"Would... you... please..." Steven started aging backwards until he became a younger, though still adult, man, and stood to his feet. "compose yourselves?! I can't stand seeing you freaking out like this!"

Everyone looked at Steven in shock.

Steven then aged down to a teenager. "Uh, I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell."

"Steven! You're aging down!" Pearl exclaimed.

"I am?" Steven took a look at himself. "I am!"

"Hold on, buddy! I'll be right back." Greg ran off to get something, then came back with the activity list for the party. "Let's do some birthday activities we haven't done yet." Greg read the list. "We could play Pin The Tail On The Donkey!"

"Kinda sounds like kid stuff," Steven said.

"How about a magic show?"

"Not really my thing."

"Truth or Dare?"

"That sounds good."

"Alright!" Amethyst said. "Steven, truth or dare?"

"Dare!"

"I dare you to tell me why you started feeling old in the first place!"

"I don't know. I guess... maybe because I thought you guys didn't really like the party I threw for you, and maybe all the activities I planned were a bit... too childish."

"Steven, of course we liked the party you threw for us!" Pearl said.

"Really?"

"Yeah!" Ruby said. "Even if we weren't all that into the games, it was still pretty great."

"We loved it," Sapphire chimed in. "Because it came from a place of love, and because you cared enough to go out of your way to try and make us happy."

"That's right, dude!" Amethyst said. "You're such a great guy and a really awesome friend who's only annoying sometimes."

"You guys really think I'm that great?"

"Heck yeah we do!"

"Heh. Yeah. I guess I am, aren't I?" Steven laughed happily as he aged back to his normal 12-year-old self. "Thanks, guys!"

"Steven!" Connie ran up to him and gave him a hug. "You're back to normal!"

"Good to have you back, Steven." Greg walked over and ruffled Steven's curls. "Now how about we have some cake and ice cream?"

"Sounds good to me!" Steven said. Onion then ran over to the table and grabbed the cake. "Onion! That cake is for everyone! Don't make me come over there and take it from you."

Onion just slowly made his way over to the ocean, not breaking eye contact with Steven.

"Don't take another step, mister."

Onion promptly tossed the sheet cake into the ocean, candles and all.

Steven brought a hand to his face and sighed. "Oh, Onion, what are we going to do with you?"

"Hey. We still have ice cream, don't we?" Amethyst said.

"Yeah, that's right! Who wants to come inside for ice cream?"

"Yeah!" Greg, Connie, and Amethyst cheered as everyone made their way to the beach house.