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X
Standing at the window, he watched as she stood staring at the tablet screen with such focus and determination that he couldn't bear to disturb her. This case was pushing her team to their limits and they were all running out of time. The patients fluids were building up at such a rate, that his condition was going to kill him, and soon.
He sighed and turned away just as she looked up to see him pause on the spot, she would recognise that outline anywhere. She wondered if he had been looking for her or just passing by. It would be great to share the excitement of this case with him. She knew he would be enthralled by the medical mystery but her shoulders slumped when she saw him start to walk away.
He pressed the call button for the elevator more aggressively than he should have, trying to vent some of his frustrations. Stepping inside, he was relieved to see it empty and slumped against the wall while he waited for it to take him to the higher floors. He turned the small plastic box around and around in his hands nervously deliberating his next move. Stepping out onto the landing, he paused. Turning right would take him to his office and left would direct him to hers, nestled away at the furthest point of the wing. He obviously knew she wasn't there but while he was feeling bold and in love he allowed himself to be influenced by the angel on his shoulder as opposed to the devil he'd been listening to way to much recently.
He smiled to himself as he approached when he saw her assistants desk empty. It meant he could get in, place the delicate arrangement front and centre on her desk with no witnesses. He was hoping that it would be obvious it was from him and that it would start a conversation they really needed to have. Probably wishful thinking, but since most of the day had been spent discussing young love he was in a buoyant mood, he thought it was worth the risk.
Mission completed, he ducked into the locker room a couple of floors down to freshen up, change his shirt and pick up his tie before heading back to the surgical ward for the final preparations.
"Sorry!" he exclaimed as he stepped straight off the elevator and right into her. He had been concentrating so much on straightening the knot of his tie, that he hadn't been looking where he was going and her eyes were still glued to that tablet screen.
"It's fine" she said with a small smile, it was nice to see him excited. He had been a little quiet since they separated and she could see that this event that Claire had put together had raised his spirits despite the precarious surgery ahead. "You look very smart" she said. "I hope Angie and Ryan enjoy."
"You should come" he said, holding on to the hopeful feeling from the last few hours. "Dr Browne has done a great job, you'd never recognize the atrium" he smiled.
"I can't" she replied without pause. "I've got..." she said holding up the tablet. Her eyes looked down at the wonky knot he was currently sporting and she gave a small smile. "You need to... just...come here" she started before pushing the tablet into his hands and stepping towards him.
Standing right at the boundaries of their personal space, she gently took his tie in both hands and loosened it a little before tidying the knot and pulling it tight again. Once she was happy, she brushed her hands across his shoulders removing some imaginary lint and for a good moment, they stood quietly, just looking at each other.
She missed him and he missed her but at this point they were both too stubborn to say anything to remedy that so on they went. They were stuck in a downward spiral and putting more and more distance between them despite themselves. They were snapped back to reality when the elevator doors behind them opened and they moved quickly to one side to give the trolley and attending staff space to pass.
"It'll be fun?" he said, pushing gently now that the moment had passed.
"I really can't, this guys lypodema is out of control. I need to go check on the fish" she said, taking the tablet back from him quickly.
"Fish?" he asked.
"I'll explain later" she said reaching around him and pressing the call button.
"Sure" he said disappointedly. "Later" he repeated before stepping away and heading back to the ward.
She watched him go with mixed feelings. She had an urge to change her mind and call him back but as those elevator doors sounded she remembered the task in hand. Stepping inside, she pressed her button harder than she needed too, feeling frustrated at the situation they had found themselves in. Signing, she pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind. She needed to go check on her patient before checking in on those damn fish.
X
She was smiling to herself that the treatment decision Dr Lever had made was working so well. The patient had responded quickly to the medication and she felt that she could pass by the Prom guilt free and stepped into the elevator with a spring in her step.
As she approached the atrium, she smiled at the crowds that had gathered. The decorations were beautiful, and it looked so peaceful and serene. Peering through the door, she could see straight across to the other side and saw Angie and Ryan take to the floor. Their smiles were infectious and she looked on with pride at the lengths her resident had gone to for this young couple who were so obviously in love.
What she witnessed next, made her heart lurch and little. She watched as Neil held out his hand to Dr Browne and gave a little bow before she accepted it and they stepped towards the dancefloor. He was smiling widely and twirled her around before they settled into the beat of the music and began moving in sync.
She had seen enough.
As she headed back to her office, a million thoughts raced through her mind but she settled on one. How happy he looked dancing with someone that wasn't her. She wanted to get out of there and blow away those thoughts on her bike but had a million bits of admin to do first.
Throwing her office door open, she flinched when it banged against the doorstop but that didn't stop her slamming it shut behind her. She was rubbing her eyes as she flopped down onto her chair, immediately turning to look out of the window behind her. It was dark out so all she could see was her reflection looking back at her.
Tired.
Alone.
Sighing, she spun her chair back around, ready to fire up her computer when she saw it. A plastic box containing a beautiful little arrangement of a single red rose and a single white rose surrounded by delicate baby's breath. She picked it up and turned it around in her hands, looking for a note or a tag to say where it had come from despite the fact that she already knew.
Shaking her head, she silently scolded herself for her earlier thoughts. She had felt a surge of jealousy watching Neil dance with Dr Browne but it seemed she had no reason to be. Placing it gently to one side she felt positive and more motivated to get this work done. The sooner she was finished, the sooner she could try and catch up with him.
Just an hour later, she was done. She triumphantly closed the lid of her laptop with a flourish and stuffed it into her backpack before picking up the plastic tub again. Smiling to herself she put it gently into the top of her pack and zipped it closed before slinging it over her shoulder. With her jacket in her hand she headed out, treating her office door with a bit more respect this time around. She bounced impatiently on the balls of her feet as she waited for the elevator which seemed to be taking an eternity. She watched as the numbers slowly ticked by and gave up... it was only two floors to the locker rooms. The stairs would be quicker.
For the second time that day, they collided as she threw open the door of the stairwell as he came out of the nearby locker room.
"Sorry" they chimed in unison, smiling at each other.
'She must have been back to her office by now' he thought, wondering if she was going to mention the gift.
'Where is he going dressed like that' she thought as she looked him up and down taking in his extremely casual attire.
Before either of them could say anything, Dr Browne came bouncing out of the ladies locker room dressed in her running gear and Audrey's imagination kicked into overdrive.
"Ready to go?" Dr Browne blurted sounding excited, not seeing Audrey right away. "Oh, sorry Dr Lim, I'll just go wait..." she said nodding her head in a general direction and moving away.
"You're going running? Now?" she asked quietly.
"Yeah" he replied. "She's been opening up to me a bit the last week or so. I think running will help her de-stress some more" he said casually, not noticing anything untoward.
"Right" she replied, her face expressionless and just nodding.
"I saw you come by the prom" he smiled softly. "You should have stayed for a dance."
She felt a surge of frustration and couldn't help but frown at him. "You seemed to be enjoying yourself just fine without me" she said instantly feeling like a churlish child but not being able to engage her brain to mouth filter.
He didn't grace her with a response but simply took a step closer, looking at her intently. He wasn't expecting it, but it had completely the opposite effect to what he had hoped.
She stepped back away from him.
"What's going on?" he asked. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine" she mumbled. "Don't want to keep your running buddy waiting."
"Aud?"
"I'll catch up with you another time" she said bluntly in an attempt to dismiss him.
"You're not fine" he whispered. "I asked you a million times to run with me and you said no every time" he said quietly hoping to understand her sudden change in mood while trying not to draw to much attention to what he thought could become another public argument.
"I just don't like running, I like getting physical just fine. I just prefer to stand and fight" she said a little aggressively.
"Well you didn't stand and fight for us" he snapped to his surprise and hers. The sting in his words caused her to stutter on whatever she was going to say next. She wasn't expecting that. Saying nothing more, he turned in his heel and walked away, passing Dr Browne who had witnessed the whole exchange with obvious discomfort. She looked over at Audrey with an unsure look before turning and following Neil out of the door.
X
As he pulled up on his driveway a good while later, he was surprised to a solitary figure sitting on his front step. She was holding the plastic box with the flower arrangement on her knees with an unreadable look on her face.
He had showered and changed back into his suit in work but had stopped for groceries on the way home so goodness knows how long she had been there. He popped the trunk to get his bags and walked slowly up the path towards the door. He was in no rush for another confrontation, so she could wait a little while longer.
She stood as he approached but didn't say a word. Stepping around her, he unlocked his door and went inside leaving it ajar and letting her decide whether to follow him.
The front door clicked shut and he looked up to see that she had come inside. She crossed the hallway and into the kitchen, standing at the end of the counter while he moved efficiently around the space unpacking his wares.
After putting a few pieces in the refrigerator, he emerged with two beers and after popping the gold foil cap, he put one down in front of her.
"Thanks" she said, her words sounding louder than she intended and finding they echoed around the still space. The fact she accepted the beer meant that she was intending on staying at least a little while and the flicker of hope he'd been carrying all day came back.
"Have you eaten?" he asked, giving her a small smile as she shook her head.
She watched him intently as he moved, gathering what he needed and preparing the ingredients. He seemed to just throw everything together and a short while later, he put a steaming plate in front of her. It was just some grilled chicken with vegetables but she couldn't help take a deep breath as the aroma of whatever he'd used as seasoning hit her nostrils.
They sat on the bar stools, shoulder to shoulder and ate in a peaceful silence.
"This is great" she announced about half way through the meal. "How do you manage to make such ordinary things taste so good?"
"Things don't need to be over complicated to be great" he said seriously.
"Are you talking about dinner or about us?" she asked, glancing over at him amused by the smirk on his face as he scooped up the next forkful.
"You want to talk about us?" he asked, sounding a little surprised.
"Yes" she replied quite plainly.
"I wasn't expecting that" he said sitting up, very interested in where this conversation was now going.
"I'm sorry" she said, deciding that she'd start.
"I'm sorry" he replied, his eyes soft and his face serious.
"Why are you sorry?" she asked. "I finished it and pushed you away." Her words were very too the point but he expected nothing else.
"I could have pushed back" he replied, putting down his fork and resting his hand gently next to hers on the counter, fingers touching lightly.
"Why didn't you?"
"I don't really know" he replied. "Maybe I thought it would all figure itself out and we'd just end up being drawn back together like we have been over the years."
"Looks like we have some work to do" she sighed, taking a draw from the slightly warm bottle.
"This talking is good" he smiled. "I know it's not your favourite thing to do..."
"It isn't" she interrupted. "But we're going to have to compromise if we want to try this again."
"Do you want to try again?"
"I do."
"Good" he said with a smile. "I need to apologise for what I said to you earlier."
"Not really" she said, sadly. "You were right. I didn't fight for us and I've regretted it every day since" she said.
"We've both made mistakes here" he said, moving his hand to cover hers and giving it a squeeze.
"We'll make more, you know?" she said, a reminder of why they separated in the first instance. "But we'll do better."
"No doubt" he smiled.
She paused for a moment, trying to decide whether to even approach the subject that was playing on her mind and it didn't go unnoticed.
"What's wrong?" he asked, turning to face her.
She was about to say 'nothing' but she didn't want this to fester.
"I need to tell you something" she started.
"Sure" he replied, waiting patiently.
"I was jealous earlier" she said quietly. "When you were dancing with Claire."
"Really? Why?"
"You looked so... happy" she said, looking back down at her plate. "And I wished that it was me."
"I was happy" he replied. "Happy that the kids got their prom. Happy that Claire seemed to be having a good day. You're Chief. You know what's been going on with her" he said.
She nodded.
"Nothing more going on than an attending providing guidance to a resident" he continued. "Not all of them respond to the same way of teaching and I'm glad I've figured out a way to connect with her. She's too nice and needs to toughen up a bit if she's going to make it in the big leagues."
"And the running after hours?" she asked.
"Healthy body, healthy mind" he replied with a shrug. "She talks more freely when we run."
"I didn't like seeing you dance like that" she mumbled, thinking she sounded childish.
"Dancing like that? You could have parked a bus in between us. Hardly like we used to dance" he said, teasing her and getting a chuckle from her with a wide, genuine smile. "Do you honestly think I'd tell you I love you then forget about it that quickly?"
"No" she said, "I know your word is good. It was just a crappy feeling and now I know better" she said nudging his shoulder with her own.
"Do you wanna dance now?" he asked hopefully, with a lopsided smile.
"I do" she said, turning on the barstool towards him.
"Hang on" he replied, holding up his finger to stop her getting a surprised look in return. He stepped around the other side of the counter and rummaged around in the paper bag containing the last of the groceries. He emerged triumphantly holding his tie and after taking a moment to smooth it out and retie it, he grinned at her.
Next, he picked up the plastic box containing her corsage and nodded at her to come closer. As she slid down from the barstool, he gently took her hand, slipping the band around her wrist, kissing the back of her hand before stepping away a second time.
"Music" he said with a laugh at her look of confusion.
She nodded and let out a shaky breath.
He stood a few seconds looking for the one he wanted, grinning when he saw the title flash up. Opting to play it through the speakers dotted around the sleek living space, a few more seconds passed but soon the first few notes of the percussion introduction started he turned with a soft smile.
He walked towards her holding out his hand, giving her one last chance to change her mind. She didn't hesitate to take it but was surprised when he pulled her right into his embrace so they touched from almost head to toe. No formal prom dancing here tonight.
'Fly me to the moon
Let me sing among those stars'
The words sounded over the sound system as they relaxed into each others embrace.
"I thought this was going to be one of your cheesy country songs" she whispered in his ear making him shiver.
"Maybe later" he whispered back as they danced cheek to cheek.
'Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby kiss me'
During the instrumental, he pushed her out to arms length before spinning her around a few times and pulling her close again, both laughing as they came back together quite ungracefully.
'Fill my heart with song
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you'
As the last "you" sounded, he dropped her into an exaggerated dip knowing the response he would get. An incoherent snort, and an accusation that he was a romantic sap, both of which made him grin from ear to ear.
"But I'm your romantic sap" he said, leaning in and kissing here softly. "Don't forget that."
