Steven was watching Crying Breakfast Friends in his bedroom loft when his phone rang. He picked it up and looked at the screen to see that Connie was calling him, so he decided to answer. "Hi, Connie! What's up?"
"Hey, Steven. Listen, my parents want to invite you and your family over for dinner tonight so they can meet you in person."
"Dinner at your house sounds cool! Will it be fancy?"
"Probably. My parents care a lot about formality."
Steven hummed. "The Gems might not really be into that sort of thing. Except for Pearl and Sapphire. I'll talk to them about it later today."
"You see, Steven, that's the thing. My parents don't know about the Gems. I told them that you have a nuclear family."
Steven suddenly got defensive. "Nuclear?! Hey, now! My family is not nuclear! Sure, the Gems bleed glowing goop, but that's because they're magic!"
"No, Steven. A nuclear family is a family that consists of a mom, a dad, and one or more children."
"Oh. Well, I'm one or more children. But the Gems are all kinda like my mom. Which one of them should I bring over?"
"I don't know, Steven. You'll have to think about it. And they can't do any magic stuff. If my parents find out about what they do, they'll never let me see you again."
Steven, Greg, and the Gems all congregated in the beach house's living room, with Amethyst, Pearl, and Greg sitting on the couch and Ruby and Sapphire standing together holding hands. Steven was explaining the situation to them. "But Connie told them that I've got a nuclear family, and our family is totally not nuclear. So I need to decide which one of you guys to take to dinner at Connie's house tonight to pretend to be my mom."
"Dinner? Seriously?" Pearl questioned, a bit uneasy. "We Gems don't need to eat nearly as often as humans due to getting most of our energy from the sun. I find the prospect of dinner to be rather... uncomfortable."
"Well, I don't think you'll have to eat anything if you don't want to."
"Man, I love eating!" Amethyst piped up. "It feels great when stuff passes through my body."
"I only eat when I get hungry," Ruby said. "like everyone should." Sapphire nodded to that statement.
"Ruby!" Steven chirped. "You scare all the bad guys away to keep us safe! Just like a mom would."
The red Gem beamed with pride.
"But... you don't seem like the best conversationalist."
"Hey! I'm a great conversationalist!"
Steven decided to test that out. "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?"
Ruby suddenly grew rigid, looking around the room. "Uh... yeah, sure. Great. Thanks."
"Sapphire, you're always pretty quiet, but you're so wise. And Amethyst, you'd be a really fun mom!"
Amethyst licked the cheese dust off her fingers from the bag of cheese puffs she was eating, then picked her nose.
"But I don't think Connie's parents would like to see you being all messy like you usually are."
"What's wrong with being messy?"
"Everything is wrong with being messy," Pearl countered, moving away from the sloppy purple Gem.
"Pearl!" Steven cried.
"Yes?"
"You'd be the perfect mom! You're always worried about me, you teach me lots of stuff, and you're really approachable. Connie's parents will love you!"
"But what about... eating?"
"I'm sure they won't force you to eat dinner."
"So, I guess the rest of us are staying behind, huh?" Amethyst said, looking at the now empty cheese puff bag before crumpling it up and eating it.
"You don't have to stay behind! Connie said that a nuclear family consists of a mom, a dad, and one or more children. You guys can pretend to be my sisters! Just don't do any magic stuff."
"Sounds easy enough," Sapphire said.
Steven then put on a clip-on bowtie. "Get ready, Connie's family, because we're coming for dinner tonight!"
Later that evening, Doug Maheswaran, Connie's father, took the pot roast they were having for dinner out of the oven, and walked over to the dining room table to set it down. "So, did the Universe family say when they were coming?"
Connie's mother and Doug's wife, Dr. Priyanka Maheswaran, was sitting at the table drinking a mug of tea and checking her phone. "They said that they would be here at 7:00 o'clock. Right now it's 7:02. I don't know if I want our daughter hanging out with someone who isn't punctual."
Just then, the two parents heard a vehicle pull up in their driveway, and then they heard a knock on their front door.
"It must be them now." Doug went over to the door and opened it to see a plump, middle-aged man with long, thinning hair and a farmer's tan, the man who was assumed to be the father of Connie's new friend, Steven. He wore a grey turtleneck with a tan blazer, as well as cut-off jean shorts and a pair of flip flops. Not exactly what he would call formal dress. Standing next to him was a stick of a woman, who Doug assumed to be his wife and Steven's mother. She was dressed a bit more formally, wearing a light blue dress shirt and coral pink shorts with suspenders, and a cyan tie with a yellow star on it. Oddly, she also had a large, round, white stone stuck to her forehead. An unusual fashion choice, but he wasn't one to judge.
"Hey there!" the other man said. "You must be Mr. Maheswaran. I'm Greg Universe." He held out his hand to shake, which Doug accepted. He then gestured to the woman next to him. "And this tall drink of water is my wife, Pearl."
"Salutations." Pearl shook Doug's hand as well.
"You can call me Doug. Dinner just got out of the oven. I hope you like pot roast."
"Pot roast sounds delicious," Greg said.
Then Pearl turned back to the van and cupped a hand around her mouth. "Kids! Come out here and meet the Maheswarans!"
Four small figures tumbled out of the van and ran up to the doorway.
"Good evening, Mr. Maheswaran. I'm Steven Universe, Connie's friend." The boy held out his hand to shake.
"Nice to meet you," Doug greeted back as he shook Steven's hand. "Connie's up in her room getting ready." Doug then walked over to the flight of stairs and called, "Connie! The Universes are here!"
"Coming!"
Connie walked down the stairs in a pretty baby blue dress with a cream colored skirt that reached down to her knees, her hair done up in a proper bun. Steven ran up to give her a hug. "Connie!"
"Hi, Steven. Would you let go of me? My parents aren't too big on me being hugged by a boy they don't know."
The boy let go. "Sorry. I'm just so glad to see you again! Do you like my bow tie?"
"Yeah. It's really nice that you decided to dress up for the occasion."
"It sure is! We wanna make a good first impression for Mr. and Mrs. Maheswaran, don't we?"
"That's right," Ruby said.
"Yep," Amethyst said.
"Hm," Sapphire hummed.
"Yes, children. We always want to make a good first impression," Pearl said. "Now, let's go... eat." She said the last word uneasily before they all headed over to the table.
"Let me, honeybun!" Greg pulled out a seat for Pearl, which she accepted.
"Why, thank you, Greg."
Everyone took their seats around the table, helping themselves to the delicious pot roast Mr. Maheswaran made. Almost anyone anyway. Pearl just sat staring at the food on her plate.
"Aren't you going to eat?" Mrs. Maheswaran asked her.
"Oh! Well, I'm not really hungry."
"You should eat. You look quite thin."
Pearl looked down at her plate again. "Well... alright. I don't want to be rude." Pearl picked up her fork and stabbed a small, brown piece of meat, then slowly lifted it to her mouth, and took the teeniest, tiniest bite out of it before chewing and swallowing. "Why, this is quite delicious! My complements to the chef."
"Thank you!" Mr. Maheswaran said. "It's a new recipe, so I didn't know how it would turn out."
"It turned out pretty well in my opinion," Greg said.
Amethyst was licking her now empty plate. "I'll say! Can I get seconds?"
"Amethyst!" Pearl scolded. "What have I told you about doing that?"
"It doesn't look like you do a good job at disciplining your children," Mrs. Maheswaran observed.
"Well, I wouldn't say that!" Pearl told her. "Steven and Ruby are really quite well-behaved most of the time. Isn't that right?"
"Yes, ma'am!" Steven chirped.
"That's right!" Ruby affirmed. And they both smiled up at Connie's mother.
"Right. Well, if Steven, Ruby, and Amethyst are your children, am I to assume this girl isn't related to you?" Mrs. Maheswaran gestured to Sapphire.
"No, ma'am," Sapphire confirmed. "I'm actually Ruby's girlfriend." Steven and Connie both shot her a quizzical look, which no one else seemed to notice.
Ruby smiled brightly as her cheeks took on a richer shade of red. "That's right! We've been dating for about-"
"They've been dating for five years now!" Steven interrupted as he threw his arms in the air.
Connie's quizzical gaze turned to the half-Gem, to which Steven put his arms down.
"Uh, yeah. We're saving up to move into an apartment together. We're both living at mom and pop's 'til then."
"Plus, Sapphire is like family to us, so we figured, why not let her come along?" Greg added.
"So, tell me, Greg," Mrs. Maheswaran said. "How did you and Pearl meet?"
"Oh! That's a really interesting story!" Pearl chirped. "You see-"
"They met at Funland!" Steven interrupted.
"Uh, yeah," Greg said. "I remember it like it was yesterday. We met... while we were waiting in line at the Tilt-A-Whirl. Isn't that right, honey?"
"Yes, that's right! I was on vacation with a... friend."
Steven hated lying, but it was all that he could think to do. Connie's parents seemed to believe it anyway.
Things seemed to be going well so far. Connie had to ask Steven why he brought all of the Gems when he could have just brought one to pose as his mother. That would certainly make getting through this dinner easier, but she would push that out of her mind for right now.
"So! What is it that you two do for a living, Doug and... Mrs. Doug?" Pearl asked.
"Well, I'm a private security guard," Connie's dad said. "and my wife, Priyanka, is a doctor."
"That's very interesting! I... um..."
"My mom works in animal control!" Steven cut in.
Animal control? Seriously? That was the best thing he could come up with?
"Um... Right! Right, animal control! I... control any animals that are loose in town."
"And I own the local car wash," Greg said.
"So, what are Ruby and Sapphire doing?" Connie's dad asked.
"What?" Ruby asked.
"You know. What are you two doing to earn enough money for your apartment?"
"Oh," Ruby made a "pshh" sound with her mouth. "You know. I... We... Do... Uh... We do... stuff."
"We work at the local thrift store," Sapphire said.
"Yeah! We're... thrift... workers. What, did you think we go around protecting humanity from intergalactic threats on a daily basis? Heheh."
Connie couldn't help but bury her face in her hands.
"Are you alright, Connie?" Connie's mom asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine!" she said. "May I be excused?"
"I suppose, but only for a little bit."
"Thank you." The girl got up from her seat and went upstairs.
Steven watched Connie run up the stairs. Clearly, she was upset about something. He had to go and ask what's wrong.
"Um... may I be excused too?"
"Whatever for?" Mrs. Maheswaran asked.
"Um... restroom?"
"Alright, but don't take too long."
"Thank you!" Steven headed up the stairs to Connie's room, and knocked on the door. "Hey, Connie? Can I come in? What's wrong?"
Connie opened the door. "Steven, why did you have to bring all the Gems here?"
"Because if I only brought Pearl, then it would be lying."
"Steven, you know that if my parents were to find out the truth, then they'd never let us hang out again."
"I know, but... I hate having to keep lying to them. Isn't there some way we could keep hanging out without having to worry about what your parents think?"
"Well, we could run away without telling anyone."
Steven smiled. "Connie, that's a great idea!"
"But I'm sure everyone would find out eventually."
Steven's smile deflated.
"Look, it's okay." Connie put a hand on his shoulder. "Let's just focus on getting through tonight, and then we'll see what happens after."
The two of them went down the stairs back to the dinner table.
"So, Steven was just telling me about the time his mom had to catch a wild alligator."
"Ah, yes!" Pearl said. "That is definitely true!"
"Yup!" Steven piped up.
Just then, they heard a rumbling sound that was steadily coming closer.
"What's happening?" Mrs. Maheswaran asked worriedly as Mr. Maheswaran wrapped his arms around Connie in a protective hug.
"Something's coming," Sapphire said. "Everyone get upstairs."
Suddenly, shards of glass shattered on the floor as a large, six-legged beast that looked like a cross between a wolf and a crocodile burst in through the window. It was a dark pinkish-red color with a long, thick mane and tail that were a light turquoise-green color. It also had some darker patches of that same color in various spots on its body, mostly on its legs. Of course, it had to be a Rough Gem. The beast roared loudly, Steven briefly seeing a what looked like a second mouth nested in its main one, and lunged at the Maheswaran family. But before it could hurt anyone, Steven ran up and pushed them all out of the way, inadvertently summoning his bubble. Meanwhile, Pearl summoned her spear and slashed at it, knocking it back and splattering some of its Essence on the floor. (Connie's parents would probably kill them for that.) "Everyone head upstairs! We've got the situation under control!" All of the humans did as they were told, including Steven.
"What is that thing?!" Mr. Maheswaran exclaimed. "It doesn't look like any animal I'm familiar with!"
"Or anything from this planet for that matter!" Mrs. Maheswaran added.
Steven sighed. He knew he'd have to come clean eventually. "Okay, so my mom and my sisters aren't really my mom or sisters. They're magic aliens called Gems that protect humanity from their own kind. And I'm half-Gem, which is why a pink bubble formed around us when I pushed you guys out of the way of that monster." The half-Gem boy stood up and lifted his t-shirt to expose his Gemstone.
"Can you pinch me, honey?" Mr. Maheswaran asked his wife. "I want to make sure this is a dream."
"I knew I should have trusted my bad feelings about this boy," Mrs. Maheswaran lamented. "But I never thought I couldn't trust my own daughter."
"I'm sorry, Mom."
"We'll check the abacus once everything is settled."
The noises downstairs stopped, indicating that the monster had been slain.
"Okay!" they heard Ruby call. "The coast is clear! You can all come back down now!"
Everyone headed downstairs to meet up with the Gems. Connie knew she couldn't keep lying to her parents about Steven and his family; she knew that they would end up finding out one way or another. She fought back the tears that were threatening to come out as she thought this would be the final time she and Steven could ever see each other again.
"So, that monster that broke into your house was a Rough Alexandrite," Sapphire said. "Rough Gems are sent to Earth to destroy humanity on a regular basis, so we have to destroy them in return in order to keep you safe. We're sorry for any inconvenience."
"Well, that's all fine and good," Connie's mom started. "But who do you think is going to have to clean up this mess? Not to mention the broken window! What are we supposed to tell the insurance company?"
"Just tell 'em a ferocious space monster burst in through your window and tried to eat you," Amethyst suggested. "I'm sure they'll understand."
"So... I guess this means Steven and I can't hang out anymore," Connie sighed. "Right?"
"I'm gonna miss you!" Steven cried as he wrapped his arms around her in a hug, which she returned.
"I'm gonna miss you too!"
"Actually," Connie's mom spoke, prompting the two children to look up at her. "You two can still hang out whenever you like. I saw how much Steven really seems to care about you when he saved all of us from getting mauled by that beast. As long as he keeps you safe, I don't see anything wrong with you seeing each other."
"Alright!" Steven cheered as he proceeded to hug Connie harder. "We still get to be best friends!"
"But."
Steven released her from his grip.
"We still need to discuss how long you'll be grounded for lying to us in the first place."
Connie looked down at the floor. "Yes, ma'am."
"I'll go get the abacus," Connie's dad said as he headed up the stairs.
"What's an abacus?" Steven asked.
"It's a thing with a bunch of beads on it that's used for calculating things," Connie answered. "In this case, my parents use it to calculate how long I'm gonna be grounded for."
"So, it's getting kinda late," Greg said. "We're gonna head out if that's okay."
"But not before we clean up the mess we made," Pearl said as she started picking up the pieces of Rough Alexandrite on the floor and putting them in away in the pocket dimension in her gemstone. "You wouldn't happen to have a mop, do you? To clean up the Essence?"
"We'll take care of that after you leave," Connie's mom said.
"Goodbye, Connie," Steven waved as he and his family went out the door. "I'll see you when you're not grounded anymore."
"Goodbye, Steven."
And with that, the Universe family packed into the van and drove away.
"So, it was nice meeting Connie's parents, huh?" Greg said. "I wonder if they'd be interested in going bowling on the weekends."
"Either way," Pearl said. "I never want to have to eat dinner again."
