Why was it when Hopper found himself getting the best sleep, it was always interrupted? Usually it was his alarm for school stirring him awake in the early morning hours, or his dad telling him to get started on chores before he headed into work, but hardly ever because Joyce was returning to bed.

Confused, Hopper blinked a few times and tried to clear his vision as he watched Joyce snuggle back down into the covers. He lifted his head to see the clock on the nightstand beside her and it was almost an hour before they had to be up to get ready for school, the sun was just starting to rise, it was way too early for either of them to be awake.

"Joyce?" Hopper called sleepily, scooting his body to press his chest against her back. "You okay?"

"Just went to get a glass of water." She said softly as she rolled over to face him, her hand reaching up to brush his bangs out of his face. "Go back to sleep."

Turning his head slightly, he pressed his lips against her fingers and took a moment to study her face. She had bags forming under her eyes like she'd been awake most of the night, they were bloodshot, and that familiar vein by her temple was protruding. She was in pain and he wasn't sure why she was trying to hide it.

"You have a headache." He accused, watching as she frowned and shut her eyes.

"Really, I'm OK." She insisted, moving closer to him to bury her face against his chest. "I took some medicine, so I should be fine before we go to school."

Placing a light kiss on top of her head, Hopper wrapped her in his embrace and tried not to worry. He wasn't sure if he'd actually be able to fall back asleep, but he didn't mind holding her while she got in a short nap and gave her medicine a chance to start working.

When the alarm finally did sound, Joyce groaned and rolled away from him to lay on her back and stretch out. Hopper smiled and poked her side when her shirt rose up to expose the soft skin of her stomach, causing her to giggle and swat his hand away.

Glad she seemed to be feeling a little bit better, Hopper stopped trying to tickle her and let her go to take a quick shower while he got dressed and made his way downstairs into the kitchen where Mary was making breakfast.

"Morning." Hopper said sleepily as he walked passed his mom to grab the carton of milk from the fridge.

"Morning honey, where's Joyce?" Mary asked as she focused on flipping a pancake that was close to being finished.

"She wanted to take a shower before school." Catching the look his mother gave him when he attempted to drink out of the carton, Hopper rolled his eyes and poured the milk into a glass before leaning against the counter. "Mom, can I ask you something?"

Mary watched the way her son looked over his shoulder like he didn't want anyone to hear what he was going to say, and she tried not to let the worry she suddenly felt show in her voice. "Everything alright?"

When Mary dropped the last pancake onto the huge stack of finished ones, Hopper helped her take that and a plate of bacon over to the table. "Is there any way you can set up an appointment with Joyce's doctor to have them look into her headaches? I don't know why, but lately she's been trying to hide that she's in pain and I think she's having a lot more of them then she's telling me about. I know they said she could have them for months, but maybe there's something else they can do? Like change her medicine or...I don't know." Hopper said in an exhausted rush, flopping into a chair with a sigh. He hated knowing this was one thing he couldn't protect her from and it irritated him to see her in pain while he watched on helplessly.

Mary sat down in her usual spot with a cup of hot coffee between her hands and frowned slightly at how stressed her son seemed. "Have you talked to her about this?"

"I mean, I've brought it up to her. About how she always seems to have them, even after taking her meds, and she always brushes it off. She says it's no big deal and that they will pass when they pass. I just don't want her to be in pain if she didn't have to be, ya know?" Hopper finishes, stabbing a few pancakes with his fork and maneuvering them onto his plate.

"I know honey. I'll make an appointment for her okay? As soon as they can fit her in, I'll take her."

The sound of Joyce coming down the stairs quickly silenced the conversation Mary and Hopper were having and quickly changed it into what Hopper wanted for dinner that night. It was Friday after all, and he got to pick every Friday.

"I'm not really sure mom, whatever you want to do is fine." He voiced, stabbing yet another pancake.

"Joyce is there anything in particular that you would like for dinner?"

"Hmm?...Oh no, I'm fine with whatever you want to do mom, I'm happy as long as it's food."

Hopper watched as Joyce picked at her breakfast. He knew she was anxious about the phone call that was about to take place, and honestly, he couldn't blame her. She had always been a ball of anxiety, even going to the school at one point had made her pick her nails until they were well under the quick in her fingers. Sliding his hand across the table, he took hers in his.

"I'm here if you need me Joyce, we don't have to talk if you don't want to, but just know I'm here. We're here." Hopper glanced at his mother, he needed her support just as much as Joyce did.

"Guess we should get this show on the road then huh?" Joyce sighed, pushing her untouched plate away from her.


Joyce sat perched on top of the small bar stool which was housed under the phone located in the Hopper's kitchen. Mary and Jim both sat behind her at the kitchen table, Mary taking sips from her coffee while Hopper doodled in one of his school notebooks. They both wanted to be there in case Joyce needed them, but weren't wanting to smother her either. Joyce felt like everyone in the house was walking on eggshells when they were around her, afraid to upset her and cause her to go into a panic attack, or to initiate the start of a headache, and it only made her even more nervous.

With a sigh, she finally picked up the phone and dialed the number to Brad's office, listening intently to three rings before he answered in what she assumed was meant to be his business voice.

"Thank you for calling Walker and associates, this is Brad, how can I help you?" His stern voice questioned into the receiver.

"Hey Brad, this is Joyce...umm Greg said you needed to speak with me?"

"Oh hey Joyce, yeah I just wanted to let you know what was going on with the case, and to make sure you knew what to expect when we go to the courthouse."

"Oh okay...everything alright?"

"Yeah it's fine, I'm sure Greg told you we have a date for the case, and that with all the evidence we have there is a very, and I mean very slim chance of Travis walking away."

"Yeah, he also said that there would be a few other cases that day in the same courtroom, so it may take a while for our case to come up on the docket."

"Yes ma'am that is correct. However, Travis will not be in the room until it's time for our case. We will just have to sit and wait for our turn and then things will proceed from there."

"Okay, anything I need to do in particular that day, or before then?" Joyce questioned, twining the phone cord around her pinky finger until the tip of her pinky turned purple.

"I just want you to try and stay relaxed over the weekend. Once we're in the courtroom I'm going to have to ask you several personal questions in front of a room full of strangers and I know it's going to be painful, but just remember that everything we discuss is going to make it easier for the jury to convict Travis."

Joyce swallowed. "I understand."

"If there's anything else that I need to tell you, I can pass it along through Greg if that's fine with you?"

"Yeah that's completely fine. Umm I guess I'll go ahead and head to school now. Let me know if there's anything I can do." She stuttered out, trying to ignore the dread she could feel bubbling in her stomach.

"You do that, have a good day at school Joyce." With those final words, Brad disconnected the call. Joyce carefully cradled the phone back in its holder and hopped down from the stool. Hopper looked up from his notebook with questions burning in his eyes, but he held them back, knowing she would talk to him when she was ready.


"Thanks Benny." Joyce said as she slowly walked toward the library door to meet Lonnie for their Friday tutoring session.

"You sure you're okay Joyce?" Benny questioned as he adjusted the bag on his shoulder.

"Yeah I'm fine, just a headache. I'll take something for it when I get home tonight. Thanks again."

"No problem, see you next week."

The events that took place after the incident in the gym on Monday had Joyce wondering what kind of world she had woken up to on Tuesday. It was like a switch had been flipped and her life was suddenly the one she should have been living the last six years. Marissa and Chrissy thankfully wouldn't even look in her direction and everyone was being overly nice to the point it was a little nauseating. However, she couldn't shake the feeling that by the next day things would magically go back to normal, but Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday came and went with no change at all and it left Joyce completely baffled.

Benny had started walking with her between classes when Hopper or Karen weren't able to and at first the gesture made Joyce uneasy. She wasn't really sure how to feel about being alone with Benny after he'd hurt her and the years of teasing and bullying she had suffered because of him specifically, but being the kind and forgiving person she was, she couldn't help but give him a chance to be the person she knew he could be without the pressure of his peers influencing his decisions. Even Hopper noticed the shift in his personality and they both agreed his intentions seemed genuine, which was the only reason Hopper had started talking to him again in the first place. Not to mention Hopper would more than likely kill him if he did anything to hurt her and that little bit of fear may have helped push Benny in the right direction.

Lonnie had even been acting like a normal person for once, and by normal that just meant he was being less creepy. He seemed to be paying more attention to learning during their tutoring sessions and not just staring at her or trying to touch her any chance he got. She even found herself laughing and having conversations with him like she would with Karen, like she would with someone she called a friend, and it was a little overwhelming to say the least.

"Sorry I'm late." Lonnie said, pulling Joyce from her thoughts as he tossed his bag to the floor and took a seat next to her. "Mrs. Summers wanted to talk to me about the 'B' I made!" He continued, slapping their latest english test down in front of her. A bright red 'B' across the top of the paper stared back at her along with a cheesy smiley face beside it.

Joyce couldn't help but laugh at the stupid dance he did and rolled her eyes. "Good to know everything we've worked on hasn't been completely lost in that empty space you call a brain."

"Hey!" Lonnie smirked, bumping her shoulder with his elbow. "Can't you just be happy for me?"

Joyce shook her head and smiled. "Fine. I'm happy you're actually trying to not be stupid."

Lonnie playfully held his hands up in disbelief and looked over at Karen who was at the table beside theirs working with one of her regulars. "Is this how she treats all the people she tutors?"

Karen tried to hide the grin spreading through her features at their childish bickering. "Do you really want me to get involved? Because us girls stick together."

Lonnie huffed at being ganged up on and leaned back in his chair. "Let me just remind you both, that the only reason I'm here is because my last school was apparently years behind in their teaching and not because I'm actually stupid."

"Aww cheer up there sunshine. When you continue to make those kinds of grades, then you can have something to brag about." Karen joked and finally let her grin show when Lonnie stuck his tongue out at her.

"Alright you two." Joyce said with a giggle before opening her English book and sliding it in front of Lonnie to share. Karen took that as her queue to leave them alone and went back to what she'd been doing before getting interrupted.

"How are you this smart?" Lonnie asked after about twenty minutes of her explaining some of the more important material that would be on their next test like it was as simple as knowing how to tie your shoes. "There's no way I'm going to remember all of this."

"It's really not that difficult. Here…" Joyce said as she leaned down between them to grab a highlighter out of her bag. When she lifted her head to settle back into her seat, Lonnie was suddenly grabbing her face and pulling her toward him to press his lips to hers. Joyce jerked away from him so violently she knocked her chair over as she got to her feet and took several steps away from him, her hand coming up to wipe at her mouth.

Lonnie stood as well and reached out for her, a look of hurt in his eyes. "Joyce-"

"What the fuck are you doing?" Hopper's voice suddenly sounded from behind them, causing both her and Lonnie to startle.

Joyce immediately turned to face her boyfriend and when she saw him practically shaking with anger she felt her chest start to tighten. She knew Hopper already hated the fact she was continuing to tutor Lonnie after what he'd done and now she feared he was going to think she'd been leading him on in some way.

"Joyce get your shit together." Hopper demanded, his eyes not moving from her face.

"Hop...I didn't-"

"Now!" He screamed, causing her to flinch. She had never been afraid of Hopper before in her life, but in that moment with her anxiety spiking, her fight or flight instinct was telling her to make a run for it.

"Hey man, don't yell at her like that." Lonnie said as he made a move toward Joyce, which was quickly stopped by Hopper who shifted to stand toe to toe with him.

"Take another step toward her and I'll break your nose." Hopper growled.

"Jim, you need to leave. If you do anything here now you won't graduate in May." Karen hissed from where she was standing. Hopper had been so intent on Lonnie he hadn't noticed that Karen was no longer at her table and Joyce was no longer in the library.

"Do what she says Jim. No reason to make a bigger fool of yourself."

"Lonnie for once in your life, shut the fuck up." Karen urged, noticing how the vein in Jim's neck was throbbing. "Jim go. Joyce is going to need you." She pleaded and at the mention of Joyce's name, the giant in front of her seemed to calm slightly.

Hopper balled his hands into fists to keep from doing something he'd regret and took one more step closer to Lonnie, towering over the creep by at least half a foot. "Stay the fuck away from my girlfriend Byers."


Breathe, you have to make yourself breathe. Joyce chanted to herself as she practically ran down the stairwell from the library and out into the parking lot. She felt as if the straps of her bag were strangling her. One minute she had been reaching for a highlighter and the next thing a pair of unfamiliar lips were on her. She thought she had made it perfectly clear that she didn't have any interest in Lonnie, that she was completely in love with Hopper. Why in the hell would Lonnie ever think it would be okay to kiss her? The sound of Hopper's voice echoed through the parking lot just as Joyce reached his familiar blue truck.

"Joyce! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell."

Joyce couldn't even bring herself to acknowledge Hopper as she grasped the door handle on the passenger side of his truck. She knew she was mumbling to herself, beating herself up for being so stupid. She should have known that her life was going to continue to be a shit show. Why had she thought any different? Because she had Hopper? Some days Joyce felt like he was too perfect for her and everyone knew it. He was always there making sure she was okay, that she was eating and taking her meds, anything and everything he could do to make her life easier and what had she done? Burdened not only him, but his family in the horrible play that was her life.

"Joyce are you listening to me? I said I was sorry. I overreacted." Hopper apologized as he reached across the cab and unlocked her door. Joyce was close to having a full blown panic attack now, tears were starting to sting her eyes and her breathing came in rushed pants. Every nerve in her body was on edge. Hopper tried to reach out for her hand, but the moment he moved, so did Joyce, she practically recoiled from his touch.

"Need to go home. Homework." She stuttered, trying her best to get herself under control.

"Okay Joy, we're going, we're going." Hopper whispered, throwing his truck into reverse. He knew once she had her mind set on something, even in a state like this, it would help her to knock out the task and give her something to focus on besides her panic. He broke the speed limit getting them home, not giving a fuck if he got pulled or not. His number one priority at the moment was getting Joyce home as soon as possible.

Hopper had never been happier in his life to see his driveway. That gravel road meant safety for not only Joyce, but for him as well. The moment his truck was in park, Joyce was out of the cab and running up the stairs of the porch and into the house. He followed her as quickly as he could, taking the front steps in two bounds. He found her in the kitchen, already meticulously laying her textbooks, and notebooks in front of her as she worked on evening out her breathing. Without a word, Hopper sat down at the table on the opposite side of her. He knew she would have to work through this on her own and all he could do was wait.


Why? That was the unanswered question that Joyce found herself asking no one in particular time and time again, every single day of her life. Why did she have to be present at the trial two days from now? Why did she have to see Travis again? Why couldn't she sleep at night without being plagued by nightmares? Why had Linda left her? Why had Travis abused her? Why had Lonnie ruined everything with that stupid kiss? Why couldn't she just fight through her current headache and the panic she was feeling and get her homework finished? Why Why Why?

Slamming her pencil down onto the kitchen table, Joyce rubbed her hands over her face wanting to scream in frustration. The way her headaches affected the simple tasks of everyday life left her in a depression she couldn't explain. She'd always been one step ahead when it came to school and now she found herself five steps behind. No matter how hard she pushed to get a leg up, life always threw something in the way to hold her back. Whether it was tutoring, answering questions about the trial or having to deal with assholes at school, it just kept nagging and nagging until a headache was ripping through her skull bringing out the absolute worst in her.

Hopper tensed when Joyce suddenly stood and gathered her work in her arms. He'd been sitting across from her at the table keeping his mouth shut as he did his own homework, watching as she ripped page after page from her note book the more frustrated she got. He knew trying to talk to her about it when she got this way was pointless, so he'd been biting his lip to stay quiet in hopes she'd be able to get through it on her own. When she walked across the room and dumped everything she'd been holding into the trash can, Hopper stood and followed her as she left the kitchen and entered the foyer of their home.

"Joyce?" He called, touching her shoulder to make her stop.

Joyce jerked away from him and rubbed a hand through her hair.

Hopper frowned at her rejection and dropped his arm to his side. "What's wrong?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"If this is about what happened with Lonnie, I'm sorry. I should have never reacted that way. Will you just come sit down and talk to me?" He pleaded, reaching for her once again when she went to open the front door.

"Don't touch me!" She shouted, causing Hopper to flinch. The look on his face made the tears she'd been holding back slip down her cheeks. "I'm sorry...I just…"She didn't finish her sentence before she was stepping out onto the front porch to get away from him.

"Joyce!" Hopper called, following her outside. "Joyce stop, what's happening right now?"

Catching her at the bottom of the steps, Hopper moved his body so he was standing in front of her, making sure to keep his hands to himself.

Joyce pinched the bridge of her nose, hoping to relieve some of the tension from her headache as she continued to cry. "You should have just left me that day." She whispered.

"What are you talking about?"

"On the trail! You should have never came looking for me!" Joyce turned then and started walking across the gravel driveway to one of the fields.

Hopper's jaw went slack in disbelief. Was she implying he should have let her die? "I love you Joyce, why wouldn't I come looking for you?"

Joyce stopped and spun around so suddenly Hopper almost ran into her. "I don't want you to love me!" She shouted, pushing on his chest to create a bit of distance between them. "If you had just left me I wouldn't still be hurting! You're the only reason I fought to stay alive all those years and somehow now, when I have everything I could ever want, I'm hurting worse than I ever did when Travis was beating me!" She knew deep down none of this was his fault, but the anxiety, pain and frustration all boiling over was making her anger rush to the surface in a very selfish way. The mental struggle she was currently facing hurt far worse than the physical pain she'd endured over the years.

Hopper felt like he'd been punched in the gut and he had to swallow hard to hold back the wave of emotions suddenly slamming into him. "So now I'm worse than Travis?" The rise in his voice startled not only Joyce, but him as well.

"I didn't say that!" Joyce started shaking the more worked up she got. "You have no idea what it's like to be abandoned, to have parents that don't care if you live or die. To have an entire town look at you like you're nothing more than a piece of trash. To fight through the pain of being beaten almost daily and still manage good grades because going to college and getting out of this town was all you had to look forward to, but now I don't even have that! Everything I've worked for is going to be for nothing because I can't even sit down for ten minutes and focus on a piece of paper without wanting to throw up. It fucking hurts Hop, it hurts so goddamn bad knowing I'll always be broken, that I'll never be what you deserve."

The sting of her words caused Hopper to swallow again, his Adams apple bobbing as he blinked back tears of his own. "Joyce...please just-"

"No!" She cut him off, taking a step back. "I can't do this anymore. I feel like I'm suffocating."

"Please just talk to me." Hopper begged, his watery blue eyes searching hers desperately for answers to what was happening. One moment he was sitting at the kitchen table doing his homework like any other normal teenager, and in the blink of an eye the most important person in his life was trying to push him away. He knew she was stressed more than usual since the trial was only days away, but this was the first time he'd ever seen her like this.

"I don't want to talk to you!" Joyce yelled in frustration, a sudden pounding behind her eyes causing her to rub her hands over her face in a failed attempt to clear her blurry vision. "I'm just so tired." She sobbed. "Why didn't you just let me die? Anything is better than feeling like this."

"Don't say that." Hopper choked out, his hand instinctively reaching for her. He thought she might start to calm down if he could just hold her, but of course his touch only made her start shouting at him again.

"I said don't fucking touch me Hop! I mean it. Stay away from me!" She screamed with tears in her eyes as she struggled against the grip he currently had on her arm.

Greg had just turned down the driveway to the farm after a long exhausting shift at the station when he spotted his son off in the distance grabbing Joyce and pulling her to him. At first he thought they were playing until he heard yelling and saw Joyce start hitting him against his chest.

Quickly putting his blazer in park and cutting the engine, Greg ran across the driveway to the edge of the field where they were standing just as Joyce's tiny hand made contact with the side of his son's face.

Greg carefully placed a hand on Jim's shoulder when he saw how frantic Joyce was and the way she was twisting her wrist at an awkward angle to get away. "Jim, stop. Let her go." His authoritative voice demanded.

"Dad you don't understa-"

"Let her go before you hurt her!" Greg shouted. Very rarely did he ever raise his voice at his son, but he didn't have time to listen to an explanation when Joyce was on the verge of hysteria and looked scared to death.

Hopper loosened his grip at his father's words and within seconds Joyce was pulling away from him and running toward the east field. Instinctively Hopper took a step forward to go after her, but was stopped by Greg putting an arm across his chest.

"I don't know what the hell is going on Jim, but don't you ever touch Joyce like that again, do you hear me?" Greg knew his son's intentions hadn't been to hurt her, but he needed him to understand that after everything the poor girl had been through, that trying to control her by force in any way would only cause her to panic.

"I didn't...I wasn't…" Hopper stammered as he watched Joyce's figure disappear over the horizon.

Greg sighed at the broken expression on the boy's face and turned him so they were eye level with one another. "Listen to me son. I know you're upset and everything inside of you is telling you to go after her, but there are only two things in the direction she took off in. The tree house and that damn trailer. You need to give her some space and a chance to calm down. Whatever it is she's dealing with, she obviously needs to deal with it on her own."

Hopper sucked in a deep breath and shut his eyes as fresh tears rained down his cheeks. Not only was he still being hit with the emotions left over from Joyce saying she wanted to die, new ones were suddenly consuming every part of him when he thought about how he had treated her. "I would never hurt her…" He whispered.

Greg placed a hand on the back of his son's neck and pulled him into a hug. "I know that son. I can tell you're just scared, and sometimes that makes people do things they don't mean to."


Too fast. Joyce's heart was beating too fast. She hadn't ran like this in months, however the need to get away was too overwhelming. She knew Hopper would follow her sooner or later, but for now she needed to be alone. She needed to find a way to release the anger and stress she was feeling.

Briars and long hanging limbs caught in her shirt and smacked at her face as she ran down the old familiar trail. She jumped over the fallen log that just a few short months ago she almost died at and continued to run until she finally broke out of the woods, and the trailer that haunted her childhood stood before her.

The sight of rusted metal and overgrown grass replaced the frustration she had been feeling with full blown rage. She quickly stalked to her old bedroom window and picked up one of the smaller cinder blocks she used to climb on, throwing it through the window. Glass shattered, falling both onto the grass below where she stood and the carpet within. Carefully pulling herself through the window, she tried to avoid the leftover shards poking out from the frame and gracefully landed on her feet inside.

The smell of mildew and stale air assaulted her nose instantly. It was clear no one had been there since Travis was arrested. The carpet in the living room still had her blood stained into the fibers, along with smudges on the door frame and drops all over the kitchen floor. Picking up the baseball bat Travis kept behind the door, she gave it a roll with her wrist before grasping it firmly in her hands. The lamp in the corner was her first target. Swinging with all her might, the lamp shattered, just like her bedroom window.

A slight feeling of joy and fulfillment crept into her bones at the sight of the broken item that had once cast an eerie glow on Travis recliner. The loud sound of shattering glass did nothing for her headache however. Remembering Travis was the reason for her prolonged headaches only added fuel to the fire and she swung again, this time taking aim at the few pictures that were on the wall. One of her, Travis, and Linda when Joyce was just a few months old, one of Joyce's first birthday, and finally, one of Travis and Linda on their wedding day.

Hit after hit, Joyce destroyed everything that would have brought Travis or Linda one single ounce of happiness. The small TV in the living room, Travis's record collection, Linda's porcelain dolls, all became the victim of Joyce and her bat. She swung and screamed until her lungs burned and her arms felt heavy. When she couldn't swing anymore, she resorted to punching the walls that surrounded her, and pulling anything and everything she could reach out of cabinets and down from bookshelves, before she turned them over.

With trembling hands and exhaustion, Joyce finally stopped and took a breath. The trailer and anything inside she could reach had been destroyed. When her breathing had returned to normal, the words she had screamed at Hopper suddenly flooded her senses. She had actually told him not to touch her, that she wished he had left her to die on that trail. How could she have been so stupid? Hopper loved her, had loved her for years and Joyce didn't know if she could fix what she had said to him. He had every right in the world to raise his voice at her, to be upset with her, and all she could do now was try to make things right, if he even allowed her a chance to try.

Giving the recliner in the corner one last kick for good measure, Joyce made her way back to her room. Walking to the small vent in the corner, she easily knocked the old cover off and tossed it aside. Blindly reaching into the vent, her fingers finally came in contact with the worn out paper bag just as a fresh pang in her head caused her vision to blur. She knew she needed to go home and take her medicine. If the Hoppers even let her call their house home anymore after the way she had treated Jim.

Sliding the small paper bag into her back pocket, she took in a deep breath and climbed back through her bedroom window for the last time.


Anxious, and scared. Hopper had never truly felt these two emotions together. But today they were both smacking him in the chest with the force of a twenty horses. The sun was beginning to set and Joyce still hadn't returned home. His leg was bouncing up and down on the bottom step of the front porch, the urge to go and find her had him chomping at the bit. Greg and Mary had left almost thirty minutes ago to attend a meeting at City Hall. One they had assured him would take at least two, maybe three hours based on the docket Greg had brought home.

Hopper brought a cigarette to his lips, needing that rush of nicotine in his system. He was going to give Joyce until his smoke was gone before he went after her. Come hell or high water she was coming home tonight. Digging into his front pocket, he brought his hand up around the flame of his light as he took a deep drag from the unfiltered Camel, feeling his anxiety fade slightly as his drug of choice entered his lungs. He had two draws left when the sound of crunching gravel caught his attention and he saw Joyce slowly walking down the driveway.

He didn't stand and engulf her in a hug like she had expected him to. Instead he stayed seated, taking a final drag off of his cigarette as Joyce stopped feet away from him where she didn't move until he crushed the cigarette under the toe of his boot.

"You finish having your little temper tantrum?" He asked, his tone making her bite the inside of her cheek. He's upset and she knows it. She couldn't believe just hours ago she had not only told him not to touch her, but she had smacked him. Joyce had never been violent in her life, especially not toward him and it left an ache inside her she'd never felt before.

"Hop, I'm so sorry I hit you...I would never-"

"But you did Joyce. Not only did you tell me not to fucking touch you, you told me that you wished I had let you die in the goddamn woods. How exactly is that supposed to make me feel? I thought you were trying to go off and kill yourself for fucks sake! Do you realize what that would have done to me?" Hopper brushed at his eyes with the back of his hand not wanting her to see him cry. He was hurt, but he couldn't let his emotions get the better of him.

"Sometimes it feels like no matter what I do, I'm never going to be what you need…" Resting his elbows on his knees, he takes a second to blink back the tears he's desperately trying to hide and rubs his fingers over the bridge of his nose. "I've spent my entire life trying to show you every second of every day just how much I love you and how much you mean to me, and you basically tell me to fuck off all because I'm trying to understand what you're going through."

Joyce felt tears forming in her own eyes as his words hit her one after another. Taking a step forward, she places herself between his legs and reaches out to rest her hands on his shoulders, but he doesn't move.

"I don't want to touch you...I'm not ready for that just yet." Hopper whispered, not trusting his own voice.

Joyce moves her hands from his shoulders when she feels how tense he is and shoves them into her pockets, her eyes staring down at her shoes, his body language speaking loud and clear. "Hop, you're not going to hurt me."

"Dad thinks that I will, that I was going to...He never yells at me, and today he told me to never touch you the way I did ever again when all I was trying to do was get you to hold still for one minute and talk to me." Despite his best efforts, tears found their way down his cheeks and he almost reaches for another camel thinking the nicotine would magically fix all of his problems.

With a sigh Joyce looks to the sky and fidgets inside her pocket, the feel of the fabric against her bruised and bloody knuckles causing them to sting. "I know you were only trying to help...I'm just so fucking stressed with everything, and the stuff that happened with Lonnie and you yelling…everything hit me all at once and I freaked out." Joyce pauses to kick a rock at her feet, ignoring the fact she's crying again. "I feel like I'm falling apart...I'm constantly in pain even though Travis hasn't been able to touch me in months and everyone at school keeps finding ways to still torment me. There's just so much anger inside of me that I don't know what to do with..."

Joyce sniffed and moved to sit down on the steps beside him, using her sleeve to wipe her cheeks. "Please don't be mad at me. I'm trying...I'm trying so hard to get through this and I need you Hop...I'm so sorry." When she turns to look in his direction, she's met with his watery blue eyes and every bit of raw emotion he's feeling is laid bare for her to see. An unfamiliar pain suddenly hits her and she realizes that even after all of her rejection throughout the years, all the times she yelled at him when he'd broken one of her rules, that this truly was the first time she had ever hurt him.

Silence quickly overtook the farm when neither of them knew what to say and it wasn't until Hopper stood that Joyce noticed some of the tension between them had started to ease.

"Come here." Hopper whispered, reaching out for her.

Without hesitation, Joyce stood as he took one of her hands in his and carefully inspected her busted knuckles before pulling her against his chest and wrapping his arms around her. He'd seen her hands the moment she came walking up the driveway, but with everything going on at the time he was just relieved she was alive.

"Promise me from now on if you're having a hard time you'll talk to me. I'll always be here to listen to you and help you through anything, but you have to give me that chance. I can't lose you Joyce…you mean everything to me. You have no idea how scared I was thinking the last memory I'd have of you, was of you running away from me because I'd hurt you."

Joyce frowned, still feeling guilty. "I promise Hop, from now on I will talk with you about anything and everything."

Hopper brought her hands up to his face once more and rolled one of her knuckles between his fingers. "What did you do?"

"I um...well…" Joyce sighed, carefully slipping her hands free from his hold to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. "I went to the trailer."

"Is it still in one piece?" He asked with a raised brow.

"Let's just say if Travis does come home after the trial, he's not going to have a pot to piss in."

"That's my girl." Hopper cracked a small smile and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."


Joyce followed Hopper up the stairs and into the bathroom, quickly jumping onto the counter beside the sink while he rummaged around the small closet for some rubbing alcohol and cotton balls.

"It's probably going to sting." He warned, pouring the clear liquid onto a cotton ball before gently dabbing at her hands. She let out an irritated hiss as he worked his way across her knuckles, coating her various cuts and scrapes in an attempt to fight off infection.

"Thanks honey." She whispered, flexing her fingers to ease the pain.

"I can clean the cuts, but I can't really do anything about all the dirt and sweat. You're going to have to take a shower for that."

"Yeah, I bet I look gross."

Sliding down off the counter, Joyce walked over to the tub and reached for the taps, quickly turning the hot water on full blast. She was going to need all the soap in the world to get this grungy mess off of her.

"I'll be downstairs if you need me." Hopper called over his shoulder as he made his way toward the bathroom door.

"Hop?"

Stopping half way to grabbing the doorknob, Hopper turned to face her just as she pulled her shirt over her head.

"Will you...um...well, will you join me?" She asked as she continued to peel away the layers of her clothing until she stood before him completely bare. "Only if you want to that is...I would understand if you needed some more space after the way I acted today."

The words were barely out of her mouth before Hopper was pulling his own shirt off and throwing it haphazardly on the floor. He watched as she disappeared behind the blue shower curtain and quickly unbuttoned his jeans, nearly tripping over the loose denim that had pooled at his feet. Finally, his socks slid off and he pulled back the shower curtain to see Joyce had her face pointed toward the shower head. Her now shoulder length hair was cascading down her back, the stands completely soaked through in the few minutes she had been in the shower.

Hopper placed his hands on her hips as he stood behind her, relieved when she didn't startle at his touch. When she turned around to face him and she brushed an unruly strand of hair off his forehead, he noticed a dark spot on her wrist and gently grabbed her arm, pulling it down to see a hand print shaped bruise embedded in her skin, a bruise he had put there.

"Joyce I..." He started, having to swallow down the lump forming in his throat.

"I know you wouldn't honey. I know."

"I'm not him. I would never hurt you. I don't ever want you to be afraid of me."

"Jim, he would be blessed to be even a tenth of the man you are. You will never be like Travis."

With a sigh, he pulled her closer to him, his hand finding her lower back where be rubbed a soothing pattern into her skin. "I'm sorry about today, about the library. I was just so incredibly mad when I saw his lips on you. All I could think was mine...she's mine."

"That's right. I'm yours Hop. No one is ever going to change how much I love you. He took me by surprise. I never thought he would do something like that, especially in front of Karen."

Hopper reached for the bar of soap in the corner of the shower and quickly ran it under the scalding water before sliding it down her arms. "I don't want you tutoring him anymore Joyce. I'll talk to your teacher if I have to, but I don't trust him...not when it comes to you."

He was a little surprised when she willingly gave him a nod without a protest, knowing she was determined to get as many credits as possible to graduate top of their class. "I've never had to deal with other guys flirting with you or touching you, and now that we're dating it seems like guys are suddenly taking an interest in you." He mumbled, slightly ashamed at feeling the way he did.

Joyce lifted her arms to rest her hands on the back of his neck as he slid the soap down her sides and over her hips. "You're the most popular guy in school Hop, it's only natural for people to wonder why we're dating. And since people aren't as focused on bullying me anymore, they're actually taking a general interest in me as a person. Even if less than a year ago they all considered me below their standards."

"Well I don't like it." He confessed, handing her the soap when she reached for it. As she slowly worked the bar across his chest, he reached around her once more and poured a generous amount of the honeysuckle shampoo she loved so much into the palm of his hand.

"Turn around sweetheart."

Joyce couldn't help the moan that escaped her lips as he massaged her scalp. His strong fingers easily working the lather down from the top of her temples to the bottom of her neck.

"I'm scared to face Travis..." She whispered.

If her words stunned him, he didn't show it as he adjusted the shower head to rinse the shampoo from her hair.

"Its alright to be scared honey. Just remember, being in that courtroom is nowhere near as bad as what you've already been through and survived. Not to mention I'll be right behind you. So will mom and dad. I promise you, that man will never lay another finger on you."

"But what if he's found not guilty Hop? I don't know if I can handle going to school or getting a job in this town if I know there's a good chance I could run into him. I can't just stay on the farm for the rest of my life." She choked out, trying desperately to keep her breathing even.

"Shhh. You can't have a panic attack now. You might slip and fall. Just breathe. That's right honey, breathe." Hopper pulled her close once more, allowing her to place her head on his chest.

"If he's found not guilty we'll leave as soon as we graduate. We can move to a town far away where he can't find us. I'll get a job doing something or another and you'll be the amazing photographer for the town newspaper. Before you know it we'll be married with three kids and a white picket fence."

"You'd really do that for me?" She questioned, looking up to meet his eyes from her spot on his chest.

"Joyce, I've come to the conclusion that there's nothing on this earth that I wouldn't do for you. Well, besides continuing to stand under this cold water that is." He said with a smirk and she giggled. God how he loved that sound.

"Come on then handsome. Let's get dried off and find something to snack on until your parents get home. Plus I need to take my medicine."

Placing a kiss on her forehead, Hopper quickly climbed out of the shower, thankful she already knew what he was packing between his legs before the water had turned ice cold.


"You want cereal or soup?" Hopper asked as Joyce entered the kitchen, his hands holding out each item in front of him for her to choose.

Joyce shook her head with a smile and grabbed the box of cereal. "Maybe we should wait for your parents to get back. It's still kind of early, they might bring home dinner."

"I haven't eaten since lunch at school, and I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

Now that she thought about it she was pretty hungry herself. "I guess a small bowl wouldn't hurt." She said before getting two bowls down from the cupboard along with her bottle of pills.

"What's that?" Hopper asked, catching a glimpse of something shiny under the collar of her shirt.

Joyce blushed as she placed the bowls on the kitchen table before carefully moving to stand in front of him.

"Do you remember when we were eleven and the fair was in town? We went with your parents and we both ate so much fried food we thought we were going to puke on the tilt a whirl?"

"Vaguely. That was what? Seven years ago?" Hopper recalled, bringing his hands down to rest on her hips.

"Mhmmm. And you were hell bent on making sure I left there with something to remember the evening by."

Joyce watched Hopper furrow his brow as the pieces fell into place. Forgotten memories moving their way to the forefront of his mind. "The necklace."

Joyce pulled the thin gold chain out from under the collar of her shirt and a single teddy bear charm shone in the fading light of the kitchen.

"I don't remember how long we stood at that little booth. You were determined to win me a teddy bear, but knew that Travis would have destroyed it."

"I finally popped three balloons in a row and got your necklace. I can't believe you still have it." He smiled.

"Of course I do. It was the first gift you ever gave me Hop. And I guess even back then, I knew that I loved you."

"I knew it too ya know? That you were the one. I've woken up every morning for the past eight years with you being the first thought on my mind Joy."

Joyce stood on her tiptoes, stretching as far as she could to press her lips to his. He was hers. He had always been hers. Knowing what she wanted, Hopper leaned down into her touch and his lips met hers in a starving frenzy. She moaned as his hands wandered down from her hips to cup the back of her thighs and her feet were no longer on the kitchen floor. He placed her on the kitchen table and all thoughts of cereal were forgotten. He was hungry for something completely different.

Joyce wrapped her legs around his waist as Hopper trailed kisses down the side of her neck, feeling him hardening through the thin material of their sweatpants, her breathing becoming heavier with each touch of his lips.

"Jim...please."

Hopper's hands moved to her chest and palmed her as gently as he could. He wanted her more than he had wanted anything in his life right then.

"Let's go up-" The bright flash of two familiar headlights burned through the kitchen window, temporarily blinding Hopper who let out a frustrated sigh at his parents horrible timing.

"Rain check on that thought?" Joyce giggled as she placed one last kiss on his lips before sliding off the kitchen table and back onto her feet.