Joyce is slow to wake the next morning, her eyes blinking several times to adjust to the dim light surrounding her. She shivers and reaches for the comforter only to find a thin sheet bundled around her legs. Looking to see if it had fallen to the floor, she pouts when it's nowhere to be found and quickly curls against Hopper's back, pulling the sheet over her shoulder.
Hopper stirs at her movement and instinctively rolls to pull her to his chest, his arms wrapping around her without ever opening his eyes. He starts to drift back to sleep when she moves again, her head burrowing under his chin like she could possibly get any closer.
"It's freezing in here." She whines, her voice muffled by his skin.
Hopper kisses the top of her head and stretches before reaching over his side of the bed to grab the comforter off the floor.
"And you say I steal all the covers." Joyce teases and ducks when he tosses the blanket over the both of them, her head included. "Jerk."
Hopper chuckles and spoons up behind her as she adjusts the comforter, his fingers drifting over her hip before resting his palm against her stomach. She shuts her eyes and moans in contentment, her body melting into the warmth she can feel radiating from his chest and into her back.
With soft strokes of his thumb across her skin it doesn't take Joyce long to fall back into unconsciousness. Hopper on the other hand couldn't seem to settle as he watched her chest rise and fall with even breaths. The steady rhythm of her heart beating against his sternum bringing forth a feeling of anxiety he couldn't explain.
Pressing his lips to her shoulder, he carefully untangles himself from around her when he knows he won't be able to go back to sleep and slips out of bed.
00000
The sound of bare feet coming down the steps alerted Mary that one of the other three house inhabitants was awake. Listening carefully, she heard the distinct heavy thud of Jim's walk. Not wanting to fight so early in the morning, Mary remained seated at the kitchen table, the cup of coffee just in reach suddenly becoming the most interesting thing in the kitchen. She counted to seven in her head once she heard Jim step into the hallway, and the moment the last number ran through her mind he was walking into the kitchen.
He startled at the sight of her and she quickly pretended to stir another spoonful of sugar into her already too sweet coffee. Jim silently made his way to the fridge, grabbing the milk and Mary fought the urge to sigh with relief when he pulled down a glass out of the cabinet instead of drinking straight from the carton.
She took a sip of her coffee, only wincing slightly at the over-sugared taste just as Jim sat down to see the look she'd made.
"Too much sugar?" He questioned, taking a drink from the glass in front of him.
"Maybe just a little bit," Mary commented, not looking up from her mug. She knew Greg had spoken to him, whether he would admit it or not. Greg was a laid back father and Jim got away with almost everything growing up. However, the one thing that wasn't tolerated in this household, was anyone disrespecting Mary.
They sat in silence for what could have been hours. Only the sound of birds outside the kitchen window keeping the house from being eerily quiet. It wasn't until Mary took her fifth sip of coffee that Jim finally spoke.
"Mom? I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. I was scared. She didn't remember me, didn't remember us. She was burning up. You saw her, she was delirious, and I panicked." The words came spilling out of his mouth in a rush of jumbled emotion, the main one being guilt. Mary nodded her head at his statement, a small part of her not yet willing to forgive him for the things he had said. "She means the world to me mom and I-"
"You don't think that she means a lot to me too Jim? Whether you think it or not, I've loved her since the first time she came home with us from church. I've fed her, clothed her, and cared for her not because you loved her but because I did. Joyce is the daughter I never got to have, and when you accused me of willingly hurting her yesterday you acted like I was a horrible person who would purposely put their child in danger. Do you know how bad that made me feel? You made me feel as though I didn't deserve either one of you."
Hopper hung his head, focusing on what little milk was currently sitting in the bottom of his glass. He knew he had fucked up, he just didn't realize how bad.
"Mom, you know I think the world of you. You're the best mother either of us could ask for. My mouth was just running yesterday because I was scared. I've come so close to losing her too many times."
"And you think that I haven't!? Jesus Jim. When Travis nearly beat her to death she almost died on my front porch! Then what would you have done, huh? You couldn't live without her and I knew it. We both knew it. If she would have died, then you would have done something stupid and I would have lost both of you! I faced her mother, I blackmailed her into letting us legally adopt her, and then you have the nerve to say that I was willingly taking her to get hurt! She hasn't had a major headache in weeks Jim, weeks. She's finally being a teenager and I couldn't be happier for her, or for you. But what you said yesterday crossed a line and I'm honestly not sure if I'm ready to forgive you. Now, you've apologized and said your peace, but I need to be left to my own thoughts until I'm ready to be in the same room with you again."
For once in his life, Jim Hopper was at a loss for words. In his short eighteen years he'd had numerous disagreements with his father, but never one with his mother. For this to be as big and festering as it was really made his heart ache. He knew he needed to respect her wishes, give her the space she desired, and eventually this would blow over and things would go back to normal.
Pushing back his chair, Hopper stood and walked to the sink to rinse out his glass. Before leaving the kitchen he moved to stand behind his mother and placed a hand on her shoulder. He internally sighed when her hand covered his. Giving her a light squeeze, he stepped toward the doorway and went back up the stairs to check on Joyce. Mary watched him until his figure disappeared and once he was out of sight, she took a sip of her coffee and immediately spit it back into the cup. It had turned ice cold.
00000
Hopper quietly opened the door to his room and padded over to the bed, eyeing Joyce who was still fast asleep right where he'd left her. He sat on the edge with his bare feet still touching the cold hardwood floor and dropped his elbows to his knees, his fingers coming up to press against his eyes when he felt the sting of tears beginning to prick at the surface.
Taking in a shuddering breath, he laid on his back and wiped at his cheeks before sliding a hand through his hair. The love he had for Joyce would never change, neither would his instincts to protect her, but after feeling this kind of rejection from his own mother, he knew he needed to figure out a way to handle his emotions better. The guilt was unbearable. Every time he thought he had himself under control his chest would tighten and new tears would blur his vision.
With his constant moving, Joyce eventually woke and rolled over to catch him drying his eyes with the bottom of his shirt. "Hop? What's wrong?"
Lost in thought, Hopper hadn't felt the bed dip and tensed at her voice. Quickly shifting to sit with his back against the headboard, he sniffed and shook his head. "Nothing. How are you feeling?" He asked, his watery blue eyes lifting to meet hers.
Joyce frowned at his attempt to avoid her question and moved to sit up as well, the comforter dropping from her shoulders and pooling around her waist. "Seriously, are- Jim what the hell happened!?" She said in a panic when she took in the sight of the numerous scratch marks down his arms and neck.
With everything else going on, Hopper had completely forgotten about his appearance and how badly her nails had damaged his skin. Not sure how to approach the subject, he carefully took her hands in his to keep her calm. "You don't remember?"
Noticing his calculated movements, she gave him a confused look, her gut twisting at his tone. "What do you mean?" When his expression shifted, she pulled her hands from his and swallowed. "It was me?"
Hopper sighed and touched her leg when she tried to scoot away from him. "Honey it wasn't your fault. You were really sick and didn't know what was going on."
"I don't…" She started, still moving toward the edge of the bed. "Why?" Shaking her head, she brought a hand up to grab at the collar of her shirt. The last thing she remembered was leaving Mary to go with Brenner, then nothing until now. Not only had she lost an entire day, she'd hurt him, yet again. "I'm so sorry." His arms looked like they had been ravaged by a wild animal and one particular gash near his wrist caught her attention, it was deep with a dark red scab already forming over the wound. She looked at her hands and cringed at the dried blood she could faintly see under her nails.
"Sweetheart, I'm alright." Hopper insisted, not making a move to touch her again. "You didn't do any of this to be mean, you were just scared. Your treatment caused you to run a really high fever and mom and I had to get you into the tub to bring it down since the medicine they gave you wasn't working. Your natural instincts kicked in to get away from the cold water, that's all."
Joyce curled her fingers into her palms to hide her nails and closed her eyes. "Why can't I remember any of it?"
"I don't know. Mom said this happened the first time you went, it just wasn't as bad. It either has something to do with your treatment or the really high fever you had. Your mind just blocked out what was happening to protect you." Hopper watched as she opened her eyes and went back to grabbing at her collar. "Hey, everything's fine now. Stop worrying."
With a frown, Joyce rubbed her free hand through her hair and huffed. "I can't help it Hop. I don't like not being in control of my body or unknowingly hurting the people I care about." The scratch marks peeking out from under Hopper's shirt and up his neck made her feel incredibly guilty. She wasn't a violent person and she really hoped this wasn't some deeply rooted psychological behavior brought on by the torment she'd suffered at the hands of Travis. She silently wondered if this had happened before? What if she had blacked out and forgotten something horrible he'd done to her?
"Honey, look at me." Hopper insisted, tearing her from the darkness her subconscious was currently digging at. He reached out to carefully peel her fingers from the now stretched out collar of her shirt and kissed the back of her hand. "Why don't we go downstairs and get something to eat? You haven't had anything since breakfast yesterday and I'm sure you're starving." Giving her hand a comforting squeeze, he stood and walked over to their shared closet.
Joyce fidgeted with a stray string on the comforter as Hopper grabbed a pair of grey sweatpants and an old Beetles shirt for her. "Thought you'd want to relax today."
"What about chores?" She questioned and shifted to stand, her muscles instantly protesting the movement when she got to her feet. "On second thought, not sure that would be a good idea." Bending her knees slightly to stretch out her legs, she watched Hopper go to her dresser and pull out her favorite bra.
A smile curled at the corner of her mouth. "How'd you know I was going to grab that one?" She asked as she pulled her sweatpants on over her hips.
"It's the one you always put on after school or a shower. Figured it was the most comfortable." He said with a shrug, a slightly pink twinge staining his cheeks when he handed it to her.
"You pay that much attention to me?" She questioned curiously and lifted her night shirt over her head.
"Of course I pay attention to you, Joy. I love you, more than anything." He took a few tentative steps toward her, trying his best to keep his eyes on her face as his hands came to rest on her hips. His thumbs slipped under the elastic of her sweatpants and rubbed small circles into her skin before dipping his head to press his lips to hers. Joyce knew she couldn't stand there half naked for long with the lack of privacy they had, and thankfully her stomach growling forced Hopper to pull away before they got too distracted.
"I'm going to go brush my teeth real quick. Finish getting dressed and I'll meet you downstairs." Placing one last kiss to her forehead, he turned and left the room, shutting the door behind him.
Letting out a sigh, Joyce took a moment to just breathe. She still didn't feel one hundred percent like herself, but Hopper's words and actions definitely helped kick start her morning into a more positive direction.
00000
Not wanting to disturb anyone else in the house, Joyce kept her steps light as she made her way down the old wooden stairs and toward the kitchen. The distinct smell of bacon smacked her in the face when she reached the bottom and the sound of someone moving around echoed down the hallway. Greg was most definitely still asleep, Saturday's being one of his days off meant sleeping in, so that only left one other person.
Upon entering the kitchen Mary looked up from in front of the stove and gave Joyce a welcoming smile. "Morning Honey, how are you feeling?"
Joyce shrugged. "Better I guess? My entire body hurts, but I don't really remember anything that happened yesterday." Stopping to stand beside the older woman, she eyed the bacon still popping in the pan for a second before dropping the side of her head to Mary's shoulder. "Thank you. I can only imagine how stressful this has been for everyone. I just want you to know how grateful I am for what you've done for me."
Mary moved the pan from the burner, turned off the stove and wrapped her arm around Joyce's smaller frame. For a moment, neither woman said a word, both relishing in the maternal embrace.
"I'm sorry for everything that's happened because of your treatments. I knew there were risks going into this, I just never thought it would be this bad. I only wanted what's best for you and I thought that was Dr. Brenner, but I'm not sure it's worth another scare like we had yesterday. If you don't wish to continue seeing him let me know and we won't go back there."
Joyce gave Mary a brief, puzzled look. "I mean, not having headaches everyday has been amazing, but I don't want to scare any of you like that ever again."
"I know you don't, things just got a little out of hand is all. We'll figure something out in two months when you go back for your check up, but for right now let's try not to worry about it." Mary murmured as she returned the pan of half cooked bacon to the burner on the stove.
"Is there anything I can help you with?" Joyce questioned as she made her way to the fridge, grabbing the pitcher of orange juice from the top shelf.
"I think I'm fine honey. Is Jim awake yet? He usually beats you downstairs." Mary commented, flipping the bacon and slightly wincing as grease popped on her hands.
"Yeah he's awake, said he was going to brush his teeth then he would be down. I'll go check and make sure he's okay. He should have been finished by now." She said before turning to head upstairs.
Walking down the short hallway, she saw the bathroom door ajar and standing in front of the mirror was a shirtless Jim, leaning over the sink with white shaving cream on his face and a razor in his hand. She paused in the doorway and just watched him, taking in the look of concentration he exuded as he focused on the reflection of the razor in his hand. Stroke by stroke, the shaving cream left his face, leaving a trail of smooth skin exposed. With the final swipe of the razor, Hopper stood straight and wiped his face with a towel, then leaned forward to run his hand over his jaw, checking for any missed spots. Joyce carefully made her way inside the bathroom when she knew she wouldn't startle him and Hopper instantly caught her reflection in the mirror. With a smile, he turned and placed his hands on her hips as hers went to his face.
"What brought this on? I haven't seen a clean shaven Jim in quite a while." She teased, her thumbs stroking the smooth skin of his chin.
"Just thought it needed to be done. Figured you wouldn't mind either."
"Well you're right there. It's nice, makes you look younger too." She giggled and rested her head against his chest.
A knock suddenly came from behind them, causing the two of them to look up from their spot in front of the sink. Greg stood in the doorway, his usual pajama attire of a white shirt and sleeping pants indicating he had just woken up.
"Morning kids, mind if I use the facilities before breakfast?" Greg questioned, looking between the two teens.
"Yeah sure, was just finishing up." Hopper said and grabbed the towel he had used off of the counter to throw into the laundry hamper in the corner.
"Will you tell your mother I'll be down shortly?" Greg asked as Hopper started to descend the stairs in front of him.
"Can do." He called back.
Once they made it to the kitchen, Hopper immediately felt tension between his shoulders. He knew his mother didn't want to be around him and that's exactly why he'd decided to shave, to put off the inevitable for as long as possible.
"Nice of you to join us this morning Jim." Mary quipped from her spot in front of the stove where she was making homemade gravy to go with breakfast.
Hopper ignored the snarky comment and moved to sit at his usual spot at the table. He grabbed the empty glass placed to his right and filled it with orange juice, not saying a word to anyone.
"Are you sure there's nothing I can help with mom?" Joyce offered, instantly picking up on the tension in the room.
"You could make Greg a cup of coffee if you'd like honey. Black, two sugars." Mary offered.
Joyce nodded and went to the cabinet to bring down a light green colored mug she'd seen Greg use quite often. Making her way over to the table, she nudged Hopper's leg with her knee as she carefully dumped two spoonfuls of sugar into the bottom of the cup. Hopper met her eyes, but didn't say a word. He simply grabbed her hand and gave it a quick squeeze, saying that they would talk about it later. She squeezed his hand back once and placed Greg's coffee in front of his spot at the table just as he entered the kitchen.
"Thank you Joyce." He said over his shoulder as he made a beeline for Mary and placed a kiss on her cheek. "Morning Darlin'. You sleep alright?"
Mary watched as he reached for a piece of the cooled bacon to the right of the stove as she tossed the whisk into the sink. "Took a while to actually fall asleep, but when I finally did it was peaceful enough."
Greg nodded and moved to sit at the table. "How about you Joyce? I know you had a pretty rough day yesterday, were you able to get some rest?" Greg questioned as he brought his mug of coffee to his lips.
"I think so. Can't really remember when I went to sleep, but I feel ok." Joyce commented, giving Hopper a concerned look.
Mary stepped over to the table and placed a plate full of bacon and sausage in the center, followed by a bowl of gravy, a basket of biscuits, and a plate with everyone's choice of eggs on it.
Joyce was the first to reach for the biscuits, breaking hers in half and covering it with gravy. The table was quiet after that as everyone grabbed their preferred food and started eating. A few minutes later Greg took a sip of his coffee and cleared his throat.
"Seen that part of the ladder for the tree house was broken when I went by the other day. The railing on the back looks a little loose too. It shouldn't take long to get the materials and have it fixed today."
"Oh...yeah okay. I'll get around to it sometime or another." Hopper commented, not looking up from his plate.
"Today Jim. It looks bad and I know the two of you are going to start hanging out there more once summer hits. I don't need either of you falling and hurting yourself because you didn't take this wonderful Saturday to fix it like I said."
Joyce watched as Hopper chewed his food, a slight tinge of anger in his eye. He was being punished for something, she just didn't know what.
Hopper shoved the last piece of his biscuit in his mouth and drained his orange juice before wiping his mouth with his napkin. "Looks like I better get to it then. Don't want that ladder to completely turn to dust by the time I get back from town. Joyce you wanna tag along?"
Joyce nodded and was on her feet in seconds, following him out of the kitchen after she ushered a hasty goodbye over her shoulder and raced to the front door. Hopper already had the truck running by the time she scrambled into the cab and she waited until he backed out of his parking spot and headed down the driveway before speaking.
"What was all that?"
"Don't know what you're talking about." Hopper mumbled and turned right onto the main road after looking in both directions to make it was clear.
"Oh okay, I guess I was the only one who picked up on all that shit that happened over breakfast, got you." She snipped, not liking the fact that the entire family seemed to be keeping something from her.
"It's nothing, just drop it please." He begged, not looking away from the road as he spoke.
"Jim, something is going on and I don't have a clue what it is, but obviously something happened. Did I do something yesterday after my appointment? Did I say or do something wrong besides what you already told me?"
"No Joy, you didn't do anything."
Joyce could see frustration building in him once again and she really didn't want to push his anger over the edge. She knew he would never do anything to hurt her, but she also didn't want him to get to the point where he wanted to hit something.
"Honey please tell me what happened. If they don't want me to go see Dr. Brenner anymore then I won't. I just feel like everyone is mad at me and I have no clue why."
Hopper gripped the wheel tighter and huffed as he took a sharp right onto Main Street.
"Hop what did I-"
"It was me Joyce! They're mad at me." He snapped and pulled into the parking lot of the hardware store. He threw the truck in park and killed the engine, letting silence fill the cab.
Joyce sat patiently and waited for him to slow his breathing, knowing he would tell her once he got his head on straight. After a few minutes of sitting, and getting strange looks from the patrons entering and exiting the hardware store, he finally sighed and turned to look at her.
"When you didn't come to school yesterday I panicked and went home immediately after third period when I realized you weren't there. I found you sleeping on the couch with mom and she told me you were tired from your treatment and needed to rest. When she checked your fever, you woke up and you didn't know who we were, Joy." He breathed, the hurt clear in his voice.
"You were upset and I was scared shitless. When you finally remembered who I was, you were burning up and the only way we could bring down your fever was to put you in a cool bath. I had to hold you down to keep you in the tub honey. You were clawing at me and crying, and in my anger I said some things to mom that I had no right to say and it hurt her."
Joyce didn't say a word, just scooted over to his side of the cab and put her arms around him, pulling him into a hug the best she could in the awkward position. "Whatever you said, I'm sure she will forgive you for it."
"It's going to take some time. I asked her how she could make you go to that doctor again after the spell you had the first time. I was mad and didn't understand how she could be such a bad mother."
Joyce stiffened at his side. "Hop, please tell me you didn't say that to her." The hanging of his head was the only answer she needed. "Did you at least apologize?"
"Of course I did and she said she needed space. So that's why dad is making me fix the tree house today, so I wont be under her feet. He's pissed that I disrespected her and I can't blame him. He loves her like I love you, and I'll tell you now that if our kids ever say those things to you I'll react just like he did."
Joyce shifted and looked up at him from her spot at his side. "When you say 'our kids' it makes this little part of me excited and then another part of me wants to throw up." She confided. "I mean, look at Linda and Travis. They did a horrible job of raising me and it would kill me if I ever acted that way towards our children."
Hopper frowned at her confession and pulled her into his chest. "You know how I know you're going to make a great mother?"
When she began to protest he hushed her with a kiss.
"I know this because of the way you were raised and the shit you've been through. You know what it's like to have horrible parents and then you've also seen how wonderful mine are. You're compassionate, caring, and god knows you're patient because you put up with me. I promise you Joy, here and now, that when it comes time for us to be parents, we will be the next best thing to mine." He said with a smile and placed a kiss on the top of her head.
Joyce sighed and squeezed him around his middle. "I love you. I honestly don't know if I would still be here if it wasn't for you."
"I'm not going anywhere sweetheart, you have me. Forever and always, nothing will ever change that."
His words helped heal a small part of her that was always afraid of being abandoned and she couldn't help but smile into his shoulder.
"Come on, let's get this over and done with so we can just relax for the rest of the day."
00000
"Hop, please be careful. I really don't want you to smash your thumb." Joyce said nervously from a few feet away where she was watching him struggle with part of the ladder.
"I've done this before Joy, I promise I'm not gonna- SON OF A BITCH!" Hopper yelled, immediately dropping the hammer and putting his thumb in his mouth.
Joyce quickly moved to his side, already knowing he was trying not to let her see the tears in his eyes. "I told you to be careful!" She stated, trying to pull his thumb out of his mouth.
"I was being careful until you distracted me about being careful!" He growled and let her take a hold of his wrist.
The skin underneath his chipped fingernail was already turning blue.
"Should we go back to the house and put some ice on it?" Joyce questioned, not letting go of his hand just yet.
"It'll be fine in a few minutes, just hurts."
"Are you going to be able to finish?"
Hopper nodded and looked back at the ladder which currently only had one rung with half of it nailed in place. "I have to. I really don't want to tell dad I couldn't finish the one thing he told me to do today."
Joyce brought the digit up to her lips and placed a light kiss to it. "There, all better." She laughed and Hopper smiled, leaning down to place a kiss to her forehead.
"Feels better already honey. Thank you."
Joyce stepped to the side to give him some space when he bent down to retrieve the hammer he had dropped in his moment of weakness. With a sigh, he went back to work and began hammering the nail in place, now with more hesitance than before. Once the rung in question was securely nailed into the frame, he pulled on it to make sure it wasn't loose.
"Is there anything I can do?" Joyce asked, feeling completely useless watching him while she just stood there.
"You can help me get these 2x4's into the tree house if you want. It shouldn't take long to get that back railing fixed, then we can just hang out."
Joyce nodded and walked over to grab one of the boards that were leaning against the bottom of the tree. "How am i supposed to get this thing up the ladder, it's taller than I am!" She groaned.
"Go on up and I'll climb as far as I can with it and hand it off to you."
Hopper smiled as he watched her quickly ascend the ladder, thankful that the new rungs didn't collapse under the measly amount of weight her entire body put on it.
"Alright, send em up!" She called, leaning out of the hatch with her arms stretched out.
"If they're too heavy for you let me know before you drop them so I can move out of the way." He teased and held up the first board.
"Come on, I'm not that weak!" She yelled down to him as her hands wrapped around the wooden slab. "See, nothing to it smart ass!"
