AN: Happy Holidays y'all. I make no apologies for getting this chapter out so late. After spending the last couple days gorging myself on cookies and food, I finally got down to writing. I wanted to try something different for this chapter. Anyway I hope you all enjoy it, I'll explain myself more at the end.

Chapter 9

Peter took the elevator back up to his apartment, thinking about how he was going to bridge the gap between his Aunt May and Felicia. The two didn't hate each other, at least to the best of his knowledge. They defiantly both loved him. The problems between the two came from what they thought was best. Aunt May wanted Peter to be happy and successful. Felicia wanted Peter and Spider-Man to be happy. As Peter walked into his place, his mind once again came to the conclusion that the two women in his life didn't get along because Felicia knew about Spider-Man, and Aunt May didn't.

Peter looked up from his thoughts and was greeted with a scene that he wished that he didn't see. There in space between the living area and the kitchen, Felicia stood in a very flattering set of lingerie. The black garment was almost translucent, and trimmed with lace. Felicia had posed with her hands on her hips and one of her legs bent at the knee, smiling in a way where she knew she was having the desired effect. Peter just stared dumbfounded at his mostly naked girlfriend.

"I was wondering how long it would take them to leave." Felicia said cheerfully as she sauntered up to Peter. She then wrapped he arms around Peter's head. "Now we can get back to what we were doing last night." She whispered into his ear.

"Ahhhh." Peter moaned slowly breaking her grasp and moving back to his computer in the dining area. "How…how did you change so fast?" Peter stammered trying to change the subject.

"I didn't change at all. This is a normal pair of underwear…when I actually wear it." Felicia explained suggestively while following him. She noticed that he started paging through windows on the computer. "Are you looking for a video that will get us in the mood?" Felicia asked seductively, wrapping her hands around Peter's stomach.

"What! No." Peter at this point had shifted into scientist mode, looking over all of the data that had been decrypted from Fisk's facility.

"You're not being very fun right now." Felicia said in a deadpan manner.

Peter looked over his shoulder and into Felicia's crestfallen eyes. "Do you want to have sex, or punch Hobgoblin in the face?"

The fire returned to Felicia's eyes and her nostrils flared. "Oh defiantly punch him in the face."

"Well, if you let my play on my portable naked lady machine here, you'll get that opportunity." Peter said. He made the porn reference to reassure Felicia that she had succeeded in making him think dirty thoughts, at least for a brief moment.

Felicia smiled and backed off letting him work. Peter began to sift through all of the information. The way that corporate espionage worked is it was more important to get product technical information, and production timelines. This was so that you could clone, or reverse engineer whatever a competing company was doing, or beat them in getting you product into the hands of consumers. Getting the physical location of where objects where being kept usually just isn't a priority. Because of this it took Peter almost a half hour to find the location of the hard drive that had the Nano-tech program. He eventually came across the shipping manifest to transport the copy of the programming code in the security van from a few days ago.

"Got it!" Peter shouted with glee while pumping both his fists into the air. "The program is on a mainframe at Alchemax's Roosevelt Island facility." He said proudly.

Felicia had changed into her Black Cat outfit, but wasn't wearing her mask. "So what's the plan?"

"Stakeout." Peter said cheerfully.

"Ugh." Felicia groaned. She hated waiting for things to happen.

"I know, I know. But just think of this as delayed gratification." Peter said trying to be reassuring.

"Mmmmm." She angrily hummed.

"I'll get changed. Then we can go out." Peter said leaving the table to get his outfit on.


About an hour later, Spider-Man and Black Cat were on Roosevelt Island about a block away from the building that held the Alchemax Computer with the Nano-tech programing information. They positioned themselfs on a nearby rooftop to give them the best possible view, while keeping them far enough away to avoid detection from Alchemax security, The Shocker, and Hobgoblin. The two hero's calmly sat, paying attention to the Alchemax campus, waiting for something to happen that was out of the normal parameters of a workday for a large company.

Black Cat sat and watched Spider-Man as he observed the facility below them. His vigilance and patience was admirable, but Black Cat found it annoying when his best plan was wait and see what happens. She knew that it was going to be a long day, and possibly even multiple days of waiting for an attack from either the thugs who attacked the Alchemax van to show up. But Spider-Man just went with it.

She noticed that he was nodding his head up and down in some kind of rhythm. She had noticed that this had been going on for the past several minutes. "What are you doing?" Back Cat asked with an irked tone in her voice.

"Ummm…waiting for bad guys to show up?" Spider-Man said confused. He thought she was just irritated things weren't moving faster.

"No, not that. You've been nodding for like…ten minutes."

"Oh. Yeah, I got a song stuck in my head." Spider-Man explained, not looking away from the Alchemax buildings.

"What song?"

"Weird Al's: Jerry Springer." Spider-Man said proudly.

"Why?"

Spider-Man turned to face her. "Because it's awesome?" he said confused.

Black Cat stared at her boyfriend for a moment. "No. How did that song get stuck in your head?"

"I was thinking about how Weird Al started out doing Polka music." Spider-Man explained further.

Black Cat continued to stare at him. "You're going to need to explain that whole process from the beginning there." She said after a moment.

Spider-Man took a deep breath. "Okay. So there was this dude I spotted with a very impressive mustache. My first though after that was something along the lines of 'he must be doing that for some kind of dare or challenge'. Then I remembered that there are contests in Germany for mustaches and beards. Then for some reason I started thinking about the Polka music that they play during Oktoberfest. After that, I remembered that Weird Al did Polka music."

"So where is that guy with the mustache?" Black Cat asked with genuine curiosity about the facial hair.

"I dunno. That was like ten minutes ago." Spider-Man defended, and looked back to the Alchemax facility.

"So you've had one song stuck in your heard for ten minutes?" Black Cat continued to probe.

"No different songs. He writes catchy stuff."

"Well other people write catchy stuff." Black Cat critiqued. "He just spoofs them."

"I think that he generally improved upon the work of others." Spider-Man said.

"I'm just saying, his music is fun, but not very special. Plenty of people change lyrics to songs on YouTube, Bandcamp. Other places like that."

"And yet his career has been longer than most of the people that he has made fun of, and is far more popular than anyone else who has ever attempted to spoof songs. On top of that, he still has original stuff to."

"Yeah but who knows those songs?" Black Cat challenged.

"Lame Claim to Fame is pretty popular."

"Okay. But who remembers songs like 'Albuquerque' and 'The Night Santa Went Crazy'?

"Apparently you do." Spider-Man said with a smile behind his mask.

"How about people who don't have boyfriends who listen to Wield Al?"

"I dunno. Some probably do and some probably don't." Spider-Man conceded without breaking his view of the Alchemax compound.

"That sounds like a cop out."

"Can we get back to looking out for homicidal maniacs and brutish thugs now?" Spider-Man asked urgently.

"Fine…" Black Cat said annoyed.

Spider-Man continued his surveillance. "We have some weird conversations while on a stake out don't we?" he stated after a few moments.

"Yeah. Why can't we just talk about sex like normal people?"

Spider-Man looked at Black Cat and held up a finger. "First of all, you talk about sex as often as you can." Spider-Man put up a second finger. "Second, we're a crime fighting super duo. We don't qualify as normal."

"Sooooo…are you saying we're don't talk about sex enough? Or too much?" Black Cat asked confused.

"I'm saying that we talk about sex plenty, but that we're not normal." Spider-Man explained.

"So is this a sex conversation, or a conversation about sex?" Black Cat asked, still confused.

"I dunno anymore." He stated. "Can we get back to the surveillance?" He pleaded. "Something is bound to happen at some point."

AN: So I have been told that I write pretty good dialogue, and that I can effectively convey emotion through the use of dialogue, as well as making it realistic. This is however, the first time that I have ever attempted a Quinton Tarantino/Mark Twain/Jane Austin style scene where it exists solely for the sake of dialogue. I really want to know weather you enjoyed this at any level.