Greg woke to a cold and empty bed. Mary's side of the comforter was still as prim as it had been this morning when she had made it. Blindly fumbling for the watch on his nightstand, he groaned when he saw the time. A quarter after four. Had she even come to bed? Sitting up with a sigh, he cringed when his bare feet met the cool hardwood floors. Not bothering to pull on his t-shirt, he made his way slowly toward his bedroom door and down the hallway.

The sound of scrubbing met his ears when he walked into the kitchen, ducking slightly to not hit his head on the archway. Mary was standing by the window, yellow elbow-length rubber gloves on both hands and a toothbrush between her fingers, scrubbing away at what Greg figured was now invisible dirt on the counter.

"Honey, what are you doing up still? Come to bed." Greg pleaded as he watched the love of his life ignore him and continue to scrub a crack near the stove. He didn't move until he heard her sharp intake of breath and quickly crossed the kitchen in two strides to pull her shaking frame against his own. His hands immediately went to her neck, rubbing small circles in the way he knew calmed her.

"We can't lose him, Greg. We can't lose our boy." Mary sobbed into his bare chest.

"Shhh, we're not going to lose him okay? Jim is strong, smart, he's a Hopper. Nothing is going to keep him from coming back home to us, to her."

Mary continued to cry against his skin, no amount of soothing working to bring her down from the emotional roller coaster she was currently on. Jim was her baby, her only son, and there was a chance that she was going to lose him.

"What if he doesn't make it? Or what if he comes back and isn't my son anymore? What if he loses a limb, or has PTSD?"

Greg tried his damnedest to be strong for his wife and he almost succeeded until he felt her hot tears fall against him. Mary was the strongest woman he knew besides Joyce and seeing her this torn up literally made his heart ache.

"I know you're upset honey, we both are. But we need to be strong for Jim. He's probably scared to death right now and he needs our support more than ever. And think about Joyce. She's just as worried as you are, if not more. We have to be strong for our kids."

Greg continued to hold Mary tight to his chest as she worked through her tears. He would bet that she didn't realize just how much she and Joyce were alike in some ways. When she leaned her head back enough to breathe, Greg loosened his grip. "It's going to hurt. It's gonna hurt a hell of a lot, but we have to do this for them, Mary. So please, come to bed. Get a few hours of sleep before you slip on that protective mama bear mask."

Mary nodded and not so enthusiastically untangled her arms from Greg's shoulders.

"We have three hours before the kids wake up. Let's try and get in a nap before its time to face reality."

Following Mary out of the kitchen, Greg habitually turned off the kitchen light and walked the path he knew by heart up the stairs and into their bedroom.

00000

The familiar ring of Hoppers' alarm clock startled him out of an uneasy night's sleep. With more force than necessary, he slammed the snooze button and brought the room into silence once more. The red numbers glared back at him from their home on his nightstand. Mocking him with the knowledge that he would have to get up and face the day, all the while trying to hold himself together for his family. He knew he had to be strong, had to put on that mask of a fearless man, knowing on the inside he was scared to death of what would happen to him. What sort of fate would Joyce have if he didn't come home? Would Benny keep his promise and make sure she found a nice man to settle down with, to have children and a home? Just the thought of Joyce in the arms of another man made his insides hurt.

Without a conscious thought, he rolled over and pulled Joyce close to his chest. He was used to her being a light sleeper, waking up when a speck of dust would land on the floor. But now the woman snuggled up against him was sleeping like a log. Her deep and even breaths helped calm him in ways he didn't understand. He knew he should do right by her. Make her understand that if he didn't make it back, that she should move on. Today however, would not be that day. He had a headache just thinking about it. She would fight him tooth and nail all the way, the fight he knew burning in her would take control and she would either punch him or kiss him.

A kiss was gently placed on his chest, signaling that the spitfire of a woman he loved was waking up. "Did you get any sleep at all?" She whispered, looking up into his eyes, worry evident in them already.

"More than I thought I would." He lied, probably not as smoothly as he'd hoped.

"I don't know if I want to go downstairs just yet." Joyce confided, snuggling back into his warm skin, the dark hair covering his sternum tickling her cheeks.

"We don't have to, but we should soon. Mom and Dad are already up and I think moms making pancakes." He murmured, kissing the top of her head.

"How do you know that?"

"I can smell the batter, as weird as it sounds. It's sweet, but not too sweet."

"That makes absolutely no sense, Hop." Joyce sighed as she made to roll over, his hand on her hip the only thing slowing her movements.

"I love you. More than anything on this earth Joyce. Forever and always."

"Forever and Always."

Hopper once again pulled Joyce into his chest, not wanting to let her go, today or tomorrow, or even years from now. He wanted to wake up to her beautiful face every morning for the rest of his life.

"I can't tell what you're thinking." She whispered, her lips softly meeting his.

"Nothing you need to worry about Honey. Now come on, it's unfortunately time for us to be adults."

00000

Hopper had been right. Mary was indeed making pancakes for breakfast. The light and fluffy comfort food however, did nothing to help the tense and distressed mood that the kitchen seemed to be holding onto. Neither Mary nor Greg looked like they had got much sleep the night before. Each of them had dark circles underneath their eyes.

"Morning mom, dad." Hopper greeted as he walked toward the coffee pot in the corner of the counter.

"You going to start drinking coffee now Jim? It'll put hair on your chest." Greg joked as he spooned sugar into his own cup at the table.

"Like I need any more of that. I just didn't sleep well. Figured I could use a little caffeine to keep me going today."

"Might want to mix a little milk and sugar in with it Hun, it's a little rough to drink it black." Mary mentioned from her position at the stove, doing her best to avoid the topic plaguing everyone's mind.

Joyce hadn't said a word as she walked through the kitchen and poured herself a glass of orange juice, then moved toward the cabinet beside the fridge that the family had repurposed as a medicine cabinet. Reaching for the clear blue bottle with her name marked on it, she pressed down and twisted the cap, turning the bottle on its side, a single pill spilled out into her waiting palm. Completely upending the bottle, she found that she indeed only had one pill left, making her daily dose half of what it should be. Placing the pill in her mouth, she swallowed it down and set the empty bottle back on the counter before joining the men at the table.

"Dad, I told you. Don't worry about doing anything to keep me home. You've already done everything you can. I'm screwed. I'm going to Vietnam and there aren't any more favors you can call in that will change that!" Jim practically yelled, ignoring the look on his father's face.

"Jim, honey, he's just doing everything in his power to keep you home where you belong." Mary insisted, trying to soothe both the irritated males in the small kitchen.

"Why? So I can be labeled one of those draft dodgers? Do you know how much shame that would bring upon me? Upon this family? I won't have it! My kids won't be bullied years from now because their dad is labeled a pussy for not wanting to defend his country."

"Jim, you know that's not why we want you to stay home, we need you here. Not to mention things over there aren't exactly stable. You could be shot just walking down the damn road! Not to mention there's no telling what kind of diseases they have there, you don't know a single word in Vietnamese, and-"

"Mom." Mary's rant was cut off by the pleading sound in Hopper's voice.

"I don't want to have this fight. I'm tired. There's nothing we can do. I'm sorry. I just want to spend whatever time I have left here doing the things I love and keeping a normal routine. Or, as normal as we can have it. Please. I'm begging you. All of you." Hopper's gaze fell on the three of them one by one, his eyes showing the sorrow he was trying desperately to hide.

Greg hesitates, but nods at his son, torn between being proud of him and mad that he still hasn't learned how to listen. Mary turns her back to the kitchen, facing the open window above the sink, already cleaning up the dishes from breakfast before anyone had even begun to eat. Greg and Jim didn't say another word as they finally started putting pancakes and bacon onto their plates.

Joyce stood and carefully moved to Mary's side, not wanting to draw the attention of one particular Hopper male. "Mom?"

"Yes, honey?"

"I don't want to bring this up at a bad time, but umm...I just took the last pill I had in my prescription. Am I going to have to go back to that place? To doctor Brenner to get it refilled?"

Mary gave Joyce a gentle smile as she dried her hands off on a light blue kitchen towel. "Probably, but since it's just to get your prescription refilled it wo-"

"I want to be there." Hopper interrupted from across the kitchen. His stern voice copying that of his father whenever he meant business. "Especially after what happened last time. She doesn't remember what they do to her back there and I'm not having it. She comes out sick, has memory loss, its bullshit."

"Jim watch your mouth in the house." Greg states, cutting into his second pancake. "He's right though Mary. I'm not entirely sure about her going back there again by herself. Let him go with her. He'll know when to sound the alarm if things start going sideways."

Suddenly the grandfather clock in the living room chimed eight o-clock, letting both teens know that they needed to get a move on in order to get to school on time. Joyce stepped toward the table and grabbed a few slices of bacon, folding and rolling them up inside a pancake before drizzling it with a little syrup.

"Let's get going or we're going to be late."

00000

The hum of the old Chevy's engine kept the cab from being completely silent as the gears in Joyce's mind turned rapidly with any solution to healing the festering wound that had been tormenting them for weeks.

"I can hear you thinking from here Joyce. What's going on?" Hopper softly questioned and reached across the seat to place his hand on her jean-clad knee.

"Runaway with me." She stated, turning her body to face him.

"What?"

"Hop, run away with me. Anywhere you want to go. We can move to fucking Antarctica if it will keep you from leaving me. Please, honey. We could go to another country and have a baby if we have to. I can't lose you!" Joyce pleaded, failing miserably at holding back the tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes. She knew she was grasping at strings, but she couldn't seem to overcome her desperation.

Hopper sighed and took his hand off her knee to rub at his eyes, the dark circles underneath them showing just how much sleep he was managing to actually get since the arrival of his draft letter. Turning into the parking lot of Hawkins High, he pulled into the first available parking spot and put his back to his window, before taking her hand into his.

"Honey, I don't want to leave. Why would I want to go to a hot jungle, being shot at every moment of every day, fighting for my life, when I could be at home here with you starting the life I want us to have? I want to be able to wake up to your sleeping face every morning for the rest of my life Joyce, but there isn't anything I can do. I've thought of literally everything to keep this from happening. Running just postpones them sending me away when they do find me. If we're hiding out somewhere in another country with you seven months pregnant and they find me and take me away, then what are you going to do? What good is that doing anyone? There are no favors dad can call in, we can't pay anyone off to keep me home, and even if we could I wouldn't let it happen. I'm not going to risk being labeled a coward. I won't."

"Why do I feel like you're giving up?" Joyce was crying now, the tears she had been trying so hard to keep at bay flowing freely down her cheeks.

"I haven't given up Honey. I was never fighting for a way out to begin with." Hopper reached for her, his thumb wiping away the tears she had missed. "Please, we don't have a lot of time left until graduation and I'm forced to go. It's going to hurt bad enough when I have to leave you and I would rather leave knowing we had the best time we could instead of constantly going back and forth about this." He pulled her across the cab and into his lap, her head resting underneath his chin. He felt her body shaking with effort as she tried to stop crying.

"I can't lose you, Jim. I won't make it without you."

"No matter what happens honey I will always be right here." Hopper placed his hand on the left side of her chest, the strong heartbeat he felt underneath giving him the strength to say the next words. "Even if I don't make it back, I'll always be here honey."

00000

After surviving a week of forcing back feelings and pretending like nothing was wrong, Saturday offered the couple a chance to spend time with their friends and relieve some of the stress that had been weighing them down lately.

When Hopper opened the door to the diner, Joyce was instantly slapped in the face with the smell of fryer grease and ketchup. The cool air of Patsy's caused goosebumps to cover her arms, the yellow sundress she chose to wear doing nothing to keep her warm.

Joyce looked around the best restaurant in Hawkins for Benny and Karen and felt Hopper's hand on her hip, facing her toward a red cracked booth to the left of the bar. Benny and Karen were sitting with their backs to the door, Karen's head on his shoulder.

"Alright love birds, this is a public establishment." Hopper laughed as they approached the table and allowed Joyce to slide in first.

"We were beginning to wonder if you two were going to show up." Benny chuckled, picking up the menu in front of him.

"Sorry, someone was feeling self-conscious in her new sundress." Hopper teased, resting his hand on Joyce's bare knee.

"You have no reason to be self-conscious Joyce! You look beautiful! Not to mention it's hotter than Satan's armpit outside and It's not even summer yet. Imagine how it's going to be in July or August?" Karen commented, taking a sip of her drink before glancing over at Benny and giggling. "I don't know why you are looking at the menu, you get the same thing every time we come here."

"They could have added something different!" Benny countered, flipping the menu over.

"Benny, I know you. You're going to get chicken fingers and fries with honey mustard."

"And now I'm going to get something different just because you think you know me." Benny stuck his tongue out to prove a point before turning his attention back to Hopper and Joyce. "What are you two going to get?"

"I'll probably get a burger, and knowing Joyce she's going to want a salad, but end up taking some of my fries because too healthy isn't really her style." Hopper laughed, moving to wrap his arm around her shoulders. "I should have brought a flannel for you to put on while we're in the air conditioner, you're freezing Honey."

"I'll be okay, just wasn't thinking about it being cold in here as hot as it was outside."

The shuffle of feet neared their table and caused the group to look up. They were met with a wave from Bob and a girl who sidestepped a waitress with a tray of drinks and stood closer to their table.

"Hey guys, Karen, Joyce." Bob nodded in the direction of the girls. Ever the gentleman he grasped the girls hand, ready for a formal introduction of her as his girlfriend. "This is Amanda Bennett. Amanda, this is Joyce, Jim, Karen and Benny."

"It's a pleasure to meet you two, Joyce, Jim, nice to see you again." Amanda grinned, the apple of her cheeks beginning to turn a bright shade of red.

"Hey Bob, I can seat you two now." Mary Ann's voice called from behind the couple.

"Thanks Mary Ann, we'll see you guys later," Bob said as he moved his hand to Amanda's lower back, guiding her through the diner and toward their booth.

"Nice to see you again huh? I smell a story." Karen giggled and leaned forward in the booth, her elbows on the table.

"Yeah, we may or may not have walked in on her and Bob when we were wanting a quick make-out session in the AV room." Hopper laughed, his own face turning a slight shade of pink at the memory.

"Sorry to keep y'all waiting, what can I get you to drink?" Mary Ann asked from the side of the table, her receipt book already in her hand.

"Oh, it's alright we're not in any hurry. I'm going to have a coke and I think Joyce is going to have a sweet tea." Hopper stated, turning slightly to see their fellow classmate.

"Are y'all ready to order your food or do you need a few more minutes?"

Karen glanced around the table before taking the lead. "I think we're ready to order. I'm going to have a hotdog all the way, and a side of fries."

"What about you Benny?" Mary Ann questioned, her eyes not leaving the pad in her hand as she scribbled down Karen's order.

"Chicken fingers and fries with honey mustard please." Benny smiled sheepishly as Karen gently poked him in the ribs.

"Joyce?"

"I'll have the grilled chicken salad with ranch please."

"Yes ma'am, and you Jim?"

"A burger with lettuce, tomato, and bacon please."

"Alright, I'll get it put in for you." Mary Ann bounced away, ripping the ticket from her pad to place in the kitchen window.

"So when are we going to go dress shopping for prom, Joyce?" Karen asked as she snuggled back into Benny's side.

"I honestly haven't given prom much thought," Joyce admitted, shrugging slightly, the strap of her sundress falling off of her shoulder. Before she could move to fix it, Hopper's fingers were gently sliding it back into place, leaving a trail of goosebumps against her skin that had nothing at all to do with the cold.

"I mean, I'd like to go. It's our senior year, we're not going to get another chance." Hopper commented, bringing a straw up to his lips as Mary Ann brought their drinks and hurried away to the Robinson's a few tables over.

"I don't even know what color dress I would want to wear." Joyce sighed, already dreading the shopping trip that Karen was going to drag her on. Hours of trying on dresses just to wear it for one night didn't seem like a fun time to her. "Can't I just get something from that thrift store near the station? I'm sure they would have something there to fit me."

"Absolutely not!" All three of her table mates said at the same time.

"Jesus, okay, okay no thrift shop dress." Joyce giggled, taking a sip of her tea.

"No women should have to wear someone else's dress to their senior prom, or their wedding." Karen deadpanned, sitting up straight in the booth.

"When do you want to go then?"

"We have time to figure that out in a few weeks. We'll have to find shoes too and accessories!" Karen practically squealed just as Mary Ann arrived with their food.

"If ya'll need anything else just holler, I'll be around here somewhere."

The group quickly tucked into their lunch, talk of prom, graduation, and regular town gossip filling their table with laughs and a small french fry fight.

"Dammit Hopper! You got ketchup up my arm!" Joyce whined as she flicked a chunk of an overdone fry off her arm.

"Sorry honey, at least I didn't get it on your dress."

"Yeah, I would have been pissed if you would have. This is the first time I've worn it, I'd like to keep it stain-free please."

"Do you guys want to get ice cream?" Benny questioned as he dipped his final few fries into the ketchup on his plate.

"I'm always down for ice cream." Hopper laughed and shifted to stand from the booth. He stayed close enough to keep prying eyes off of Joyce as she scooted to the edge of the booth and got to her feet as well.

"I'm going to go clean my arm off. It's sticky." She wrinkled her nose at the uncomfortable feeling in the crease of her elbow.

"Alright honey, I'll go ahead and pay. I love you." Hopper leaned down and placed a soft kiss to her lips before heading for the cash register.

Joyce turned in the opposite direction toward the bathrooms just as a few of the older residents of Hawkins started to fill the booths for an early evening dinner, along with a booth full of baseball players from their graduating class. She carefully passed the table, ignoring the uncomfortable catcalls and whistles of the baseball players as she ducked into the bathroom.

Quickly washing her hands and arm, Joyce dried off with a paper towel and heading back out into the diner. Foot traffic had begun to pick up, causing her to walk closer to the booths to avoid getting in the way of the other patrons trying to get to their tables. Stepping out of the way of Mrs. Baker and her wheelchair, Joyce was forced to stop beside the booth filled with baseball players.

"Looking good there, Horowitz. Who knew you had amazing legs under those baggy jeans." Brandon Greene said with a grin.

As Joyce began to step away from the table, the sound of flesh hitting flesh filled the air, followed quickly by a sting on her ass. Her hands immediately went to cover the burning skin as she turned her backside from Brandon.

"Don't fucking touch me." Joyce scoffed, her voice rising along with the color of her cheeks.

"Oh come Joyce, can't be any worse than anything Jim's done. Besides, I bet you loved it." Brandon smirked at the look on her face, getting a laugh from the rest of his table.

"Stay away from me you pig." Joyce snapped and turned to head back to her friends.

"What did you say slut?" Brandon asked rather loudly, the commotion grabbing the attention of several people surrounding them.

"Are you deaf or just fucking stupid?" Joyce mouthed, her voice rising along with his. The next thing she knew Brandon was on his feet and towering over her, his green and white baseball tee tightening with the force of his breathing as he none too gently grabbed her by her arm, pulling her closer to his body.

00000

Benny carefully tucked a strand of Karen's hair behind her ear as they waited for Jim and Joyce to rejoin them. No matter how Karen had it up, the same strand always seemed to flutter down into her face, but he didn't mind, it gave him an excuse to always touch her cheek. She was truly the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

"What did you just say slut?"

Benny's ears instantly picked up on the obnoxiously loud guy somewhere in the restaurant and regrettably let his eyes leave Karen's smile to scan the diner, trying to figure out what was going on. The sight unfolding in front of him made his blood run cold.

"Karen, find Jim." He whispered and made Karen scoot out of the booth, almost dumping her on the floor with the force from his hips. He quickly covered the width of the diner and knocked Brandon's grip on Joyce loose with a shove to his shoulder.

"Are you just looking to get your ass beat today Brandon?" Benny growled, positioning himself between Joyce and Brandon.

"Pfft, you and what army Hammond? If I'm counting right, there's six of us and only one of you."

The sound of feet hitting linoleum echoed through the diner, the rest of the baseball team getting to their feet to stand behind Brandon like a pack of wolves defending their Alpha.

"He's not alone." Benny turned to his right to see Bob standing beside him, a look of determination on his face. "You're not going to hurt Joyce, not while we're around."

"Joyce? Benny? What's going on?" Hopper's voice rose above the growing noise coming from the group of teens.

"Seems Greene here can't keep his hands to himself, Jim. Decided it was a smart idea to smack Joyce on the ass." Benny informed Hopper who was now standing to Benny's left.

"You did what?!" Hopper questioned, stepping into Brandon's space, their chests bumping in an attempted show of dominance. "I really hope you aren't that stupid." Hopper growled, an almost animalistic urge to headbutt the dumbass trying to overtake him.

"Guys come on, this isn't the place to do this. I've told him off, now drop it." Joyce pleaded, her brain telling her this situation wasn't going to stay calm if they didn't leave soon.

Carefully weeding herself between the three men coming to her defense, Joyce intertwined her hand with Hopper's, trying to defuse the situation. The breath she had been holding was slowly exhaled when he took a step back, Bob and Benny following his lead.

"Hop, please, let's just go okay?" Joyce pleaded again, trying to get his attention off of the man in front of him. Her stomach dropped when she saw a grin flash across Brandon's face.

"It's alright Jim, you won't be here much longer. I promise I'll take good care of Joyce while you're lost in the jungle." Brandon sneered, crossing his arms over his chest.

Before Joyce could tighten her grip on Hopper, he ripped his hand from hers, his fist coming up and connecting with Brandon's jaw. Startled with the hit, but quick on his feet, Brandon lunged at Hopper, his arms swinging for wherever he could reach. Hopper swiftly grabbed Brandon by the back of the neck and slammed his face onto the table where the team had been sitting moments before.

Joyce's fight or flight instincts kicked in the moment the first punch was thrown, however her instinct to flee wasn't matched by Benny or Bob, who were both now going one on one with another member of the team.

"Y'all knock it off!" A familiar yell came from behind them.

Joyce and the rest of the girls were herded to the bar as John, the diner's cook and Mark, Greg's right-hand deputy worked to pull the fighting teens apart.

"You guys have got to be shitting me! Jim, over there, Benny by the bar. Bob, against that wall!" Mark demanded, keeping the boys on opposite sides of the aisle. "Now, someone tell me what in the hell is going on here?!" Mark yelled, his hand pushing Brandon's shoulder down, forcing him to sit in the now ruined booth. Mark's eye's landed on Joyce and she sighed, their so-called easy afternoon had been completely ruined. She wasn't mad at Hopper, or at anyone for that matter considering everyone had been stressed out since receiving their letters, but to have the one thing she'd been looking forward to all week turn out like this made her want to scream.

When the bell above the door echoed throughout the now silent restaurant, everyone turned to stare at the Chief as he walked toward the group shaking his head. Greg immediately went to Jim, pulling him aside to speak in private as Joyce watched the man's jaw clench and Hopper's hands ball into fists at his sides. Greg said something Joyce couldn't hear, pointed toward the door and the next thing Joyce knew, Hopper was storming out of the diner.

Greg wasted no time in marching over to where Brandon was sitting in the booth, trying to get his nose to stop bleeding. "Did you put your hands on my daughter?" He asked, his left hand moving to rest on the back of the booth, his other on the table to lean over the much smaller teen.

Brandon blinked a few times in shock at the chief towering above him. "I...she's...no."

"Get up." Greg demanded, taking a step back. When Brandon made no effort to move, Greg reached down to grab a hold of his collar and jerked him to his feet.

Taking a second to find his footing, Brandon dropped his eyes to the ground and intentionally avoided the intimidating glare the older man was giving him. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

Greg scoffed and let go of the kids collar, pushing on his shoulder instead. "Move." He demanded, leading him toward the exit of the diner. As he passed by Joyce he paused and lightly touched her arm to make her look at him. "Jim is waiting for you outside."

Joyce silently nodded and watched as he led Brandon out the door. Mark and another officer started gathering everyone's information as Karen came up behind her while Benny was being questioned. "Let's go." Karen said, gesturing toward the door with her chin. Joyce sighed and slowly made their way to find Jim who was leaning against his truck smoking a cigarette. Why couldn't anything ever be easy for them?

00000

It was a Tuesday, three weeks after Jim received his letter from Washington and days since the incident at the diner that Joyce embarrassed herself in front of the entire class. With carrying the weight of constant stress, she found it impossible to get proper sleep and every night ended exactly the same. Tears hitting her pillowcase while she forced herself to stay quiet and not wake the man curled up behind her until physical exhaustion set in.

Which is exactly what led to the moment she found herself screaming awake from a nightmare still sitting at her desk, not having a clue what was going on. One second she was listening to a lecture and the next she was watching as students startled and turned to stare at her like she'd lost her mind. Joyce had never fallen asleep in class before, and to say she wasn't utterly confused as she soaked in her surroundings was putting it lightly.

"Joyce, It's alright," Karen whispered from her side, her hand reaching out to touch her. The movement immediately made Joyce flinch, sending her to her feet.

"No...don't," Joyce mumbled, her fingers clutching her collar as she sucked in a few deep breaths. Students were still staring in her direction and she felt like the walls were closing in on her. The images of her nightmare playing over and over again in the forefront of her mind heightening her anxiety. "May I...can I be excused?" Joyce asked, her voice so low Karen wasn't sure anyone other than her would hear the small request.

The teacher surprisingly grabbed a pen from her desk and quickly scribbled something onto a piece of paper. "Miss Buono will you go with her?" She asked, holding out the paper for her to take.

"Of course," Karen said and quickly gathered her and Joyce's things before grabbing what Karen assumed was a note to excuse them from class.

Carefully leading Joyce out into the hall, Karen didn't take another step once the door was closed. "Joyce, look at me."

Joyce silently lifted her eyes, her expression unreadable.

"Are you okay?" She questioned, noticing her breathing was coming in short pants.

Joyce shook her head and tightened the hold she had on her collar, her knuckles turning white.

Karen had only seen Joyce like this one other time when Chrissy and Marissa cornered her in the locker room, and she didn't have a clue how to help her. All Karen remembered from the incident was Jim grabbing her face and talking her through it, but Karen knew Joyce didn't like to be touched, at least not by her, and especially not her face.

"Shit," Karen whispered and looked up and down the halls, trying to think of what she could do. Jim wasn't here and Joyce's fidgeting was making her nervous. "Hey, it's alright. I'm right here. Just breathe."

Joyce ignored her and began pacing, moving them across the hall where she pressed her back against a row of lockers. When Karen spoke again, Joyce squeezed her eyes shut and attempted to swallow down the lump of anxiety stuck in her throat.

"I need you to focus on me okay?" Karen said calmly, standing directly in front of her.

Joyce opened her eyes and let out a long shaky breath, her hand instinctively reaching out to grab the side of Karen's shirt near her hip.

Karen didn't move, afraid the slightest touch would startle her. "We're in school. You fell asleep in class and had a bad dream, that's all. Everything's fine. Just listen to my voice. You can hear me right?"

Joyce nodded, her fingers unconsciously tightening around the soft material at Karen's shirt.

"Good. Now breathe. There you go." She encouraged as she sucked in several deep breaths, exhaling slowly. It took a few minutes, but eventually, Joyce calmed, her breathing returning to normal.

"I'm sorry." Joyce choked out, a tremble shooting through her limbs. Karen carefully placed a hand over the one still holding onto her shirt and squeezed it gently.

"Don't apologize, it's okay." Karen took a risk and let go of Joyce's hand to wrap an arm around her, pulling her into a hug.

Joyce dropped her face to Karen's shoulder and hugged her back. "No, it's not." She whispered. "Nothing is okay. I'm not okay." Her voice broke on the last word, tears starting to prick at her eyes.

Karen frowned and brought her further into her embrace, a hand moving to the back of her head. She knew Joyce had been struggling for weeks now, she just hadn't been aware of how bad it had gotten, and she couldn't even begin to imagine what she was going through. To grow up in an abusive household, to being bullied daily, to finally getting what she had always wanted, just to have it all ripped away from her like some sick joke had to be devastating. Karen couldn't take away her pain or change the fact Jim had been drafted, but she could try her damnedest to be there for her when she was hurting and be the friend she deserved.

"Let's get out of here," Karen said as she let her go and reached down to grab their bags. She handed Joyce hers and placed a hand on her back, silently leading her out to the parking lot.

"You really should look into getting a spare key from Jim." Karen teased, trying to lighten the mood as they approached the old blue Chevy. Benny's truck was a few spaces away and Karen quickly tossed her bag into the back of his before dropping the tailgate on Jim's.

Joyce climbed up first, scooting all the way to the back of the bed to lean against the cab with her knees drawn to her chest. "Won't be an issue in a few months." Once Hopper was gone, he wouldn't have a need for his keys, or the truck anymore for that matter.

Karen sighed and slid in beside her friend to where their shoulders and hips were touching. "I take it the Chief wasn't able to work anything out?"

Joyce shook her head, crossing her arms over the top of her knees. "He's still trying, we all are. Jim's the only one giving up. He keeps telling us to stop making him look like a coward and just accept the fact that he's going." She huffed. "It wouldn't be so bad if there was a guarantee he'd come back, but there isn't, and it would kill me if something happened to him because I didn't try hard enough to keep him here. He's always been there to protect me, and now that it's my turn to protect him I'm already letting him down." Even as drained as she was, Joyce fought back the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. She could only pretend to be strong for so long before she fell apart.

"You're not letting him down, Joyce. And I know you probably don't want to hear this, but you might want to start focusing on spending as much time with him as you can. Just in case nothing can be figured out. You're going to hate yourself if you don't spend every second you can with him if something happens."

Karen's lowered voice showed the emotion she herself was trying to hold back. She was worried about Hopper, just as much as Benny, but her heart physically hurt for Joyce. She couldn't imagine how she would feel if Benny's number had been called and the thought alone was making her stomach knot. Reaching out, she carefully took Joyce's hand into her own and gave it a tight, reassuring squeeze.

"I'm here Joyce. Now, later, whenever you need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to help you eat your feelings. I'm your person. You come to me anytime, day or night okay?"

The wall that Joyce had carefully constructed around her emotions cracked the slightest, causing her to sharply intake a few breaths. She had to force herself to be strong no matter how tempting it was just to let the wall fall down. She gave Karen's hand a squeeze, hoping the gesture conveyed all she wanted to say but couldn't. The sound of approaching footsteps caused the girl's hands to separate, and seconds later both Hopper and Benny rounded the back of the Chevy.

Confusion crossed Hopper's face as he took in the sight of the two women sitting in the bed of his truck. "Everything okay Honey?"

"She had a nightmare in class. Freaked her out pretty bad, so we came out here for some air and just never went back." Karen stated, beginning to crawl toward Benny's stretched out hand.

"You fell asleep in class?" Worry lines formed on Hopper's brow as he walked around the bed of the truck, his hand immediately going to Joyce's shoulders. Taking the hint, Joyce stood, and with the help of her boyfriend, jumped off the side of the truck and into his waiting embrace.

"It was nothing. Just haven't been sleeping ya know?"

"I know Honey. Come on, let's get home and get our chores done. Maybe we can turn in early tonight and try to get a few extra hours."

Moving toward the passenger door, Hopper opened it for her to climb inside and shut it back before walking over to where Karen and Benny were waiting, talking between themselves.

"Thank you. For taking care of her when I wasn't there." Hopper pulled Karen into a quick hug.

"No problem Jim. It was bad though. She screamed in the middle of class and didn't realize where she was or what was going on. Took me a second to get her to leave with me. Please, if you can, try and get some sleep tonight. Both of you."

"I'm going to do my best to make sure she's asleep by eight. I'll talk to you two tomorrow." Hugging Karen again and shaking Benny's hand, Hopper closed the tailgate of his truck and put his own bag beside Joyce's before joining her inside the cab.

His door was barely closed when his lips connected with hers. Their kiss wasn't rushed or desperate. It was a show of the love Hopper felt for the women in his arms. Reluctantly he pulled away, his hand coming up to rest on the side of her neck.

"I love you."

00000

Sometime in the early morning hours, Joyce found herself unable to fall back asleep even after switching positions several times, readjusting the covers, and getting up for a glass of water. The new routine wasn't exactly unusual. At least it hadn't been for the last two weeks. The entire family was stressing over the fact none of them could find a way to keep Hopper home and Joyce was experiencing the worst of it. Two or three hours of good sleep was all she managed to get these days, while the rest of the night was filled with fear that the following morning would be the last time she'd see the man currently sleeping soundly beside her.

Finishing off the glass of water, Joyce placed the cup on the nightstand and leaned against the headboard with a sigh. Hopper was flat on his back with an arm slung over his pillow without a care in the world, and all Joyce wanted to do was hold him and never let go. His face was currently relaxed and peaceful, very different from the mask he wore during the day to hide his true feelings, and the only reason she continued to go along with the charade was because constantly apologizing for something out of their control and fighting wasn't helping either of them in the end. Not that Joyce was going to give up that easily in just letting someone take the love of her life away from her, they just needed a break from the chaos they had been living in since he received his letter.

Shifting to finally lay back down, Joyce rolled to face Hopper and carefully reached out to brush his bangs off his forehead. Her knuckles lightly drifted over his cheek, the stubble from weeks of neglect scratching against her skin as she watched his chest rise and fall with even breaths. He was her everything, her reason for living, and she desperately needed to feel something other than the weight sitting in the middle of her chest suffocating her.

Curling into Hopper's side, Joyce kissed his shoulder, then his collar bone, and the next thing she knew her fingertips were gently sliding down his ribs and across his abs, stopping at the waistband of his underwear. His breath hitched for a second and the hairs on his skin rose at the light touch, but he never awoke.

Continuing to lightly pepper his chest with kisses, she wiggled out of her panties and palmed the front of his boxers, feeling him already hard against her hand. Folding her fingers over the elastic of the thin material, she pulled his boxers down far enough to allow his erection to spring free and crawled on top of him. Her legs on either side of his hips, knees pressed into the bed to hold her up as she wrapped her hand around his length and guided him toward her entrance.

Joyce honestly had no clue what she was doing. She just needed to feel him, to have him as close to her as humanly possible, and with one slow drop of her hips she sank down on him, biting her lip to keep quiet as she watched Hopper's face twist and scrunch at the new sensation overtaking whatever peaceful sleep he'd been enduring.

His mouth fell open with a gasp when Joyce started moving on him, his hands coming to rest on her thighs, holding her in place once he became conscious. He blinked several times, bending his knees at the sight of her sitting on top of him. "Joyce…" He whimpered and swallowed, it took him a minute to understand what was happening.

"Shh, it's okay," Joyce whispered and leaned forward to kiss the hollow of his throat as she lifted her hips and sank back down on him again.

A helpless whine filled the room and Hopper's nails dug into her skin, halting her movements. "Honey...wait." He begged, his legs trembling at the overwhelming feeling of her warm inner walls engulfing him.

Joyce licked up his neck and kissed just below his ear, her chest pressed firmly against his as she kept still.

Removing a hand from her thigh, Hopper rubbed it across his face and let out a sigh. Waking to her straddling his hips would have normally been a fantasy of his, but the look on her face, even in the dim light, had him slightly worried. "What's going on?"

Joyce sighed and dropped her head, hiding her frown in the crook of his neck. "Please Jim...I just need you. I need to feel something other than all this pain." When she attempted to move on him again his grip eased some, allowing her to set a slow pace.

The tone of her voice grabbed at his heart like a vice and the quiet gasp that escaped his lips wasn't out of pleasure. They hadn't been physical like this since the night they found out he'd been drafted, which was partially his fault. He'd been so lost in his head lately that he'd missed all the signs telling him just how much she needed him.

Carefully placing his hands on her cheeks, he removed her head from his shoulder and stared into her eyes. "I love you." He breathed, his face falling at the sadness invading her features.

Without a word, Joyce leaned forward to claim his lips, kissing him with every bit of emotion she was currently feeling. The good, the bad, the pain, the emptiness, there was no more hiding, no more holding back.

When something hot and wet hit Hopper's face, he pulled away from the kiss and pressed his lips to the tears falling down her cheeks. Despite the obvious pain she was feeling, she still moaned when he rolled them over and thrust into her gently, his teeth teasing her lower lip before sucking it into his mouth.

Joyce hooked her ankles together around his lower back, lifting her hips with him in a way that made time stand still. Nothing was left but raw emotion, hurt mixing with pleasure, the only sound filling the quiet room their heavy breathing.

"Jim," Joyce whined when she felt that familiar band tighten in her belly, her fingers finding their way into his hair. Her body was running on a high that didn't make sense. She felt pleasure physically everywhere, all the way to her toes, and the ache in her chest only seemed to be intensifying the build-up of something she couldn't explain.

When Hopper dropped his head to kiss at her neck and wrapped his arm around her shoulders to bring them closer, Joyce felt the dam break. Her entire body shook, her inner walls pulsed, and her fingers pulled at his hair as her orgasm wracked through all of her senses.

Hopper growled and thrust a bit harder, failing miserably at holding back his own release. Quickly moving his thumb to her clit, he rubbed small circles against the sensitive bundle of nerves and slipped out of her, shooting thick white ropes of cum across her stomach and breasts. He was still stroking himself when sobs met his ears, her tiny body shaking beneath him as she pathetically reached for something to hold onto.

Out of instinct, Hopper pulled her into his arms and settled them into a sitting position with his back against the headboard. Unlike before when her sobs were brought on by intense pleasure, these were full of pain and it broke his heart.

"I love you...more than anything." Joyce sniffed. "I didn't know anything could hurt worse than what Travis did to me...but this...it's...I just can't."

Hopper placed a hand on her cheek and made her look at him before kissing her forehead. "I know Honey and I'm so fucking sorry."

Resting her head back on his shoulder, Hopper let her cry. There wasn't anything he could do to take away what she was feeling and it left him gutted. No one deserved to go through this, especially her.

When her body finally stopped trembling and her breathing became even, Hopper kissed her temple and brushed his fingers through her hair, pulling her head back enough to see her face. "Take a shower with me." He said softly, the stickiness between them growing cold and uncomfortable.

Joyce lifted her hand to touch his cheek, her thumb caressing along his jawline before giving him a quick kiss and crawling out of his lap.

Neither of them bothered with getting dressed as they made their way down the dark, quiet hallway and into the bathroom. It was still too early for their parents to be awake, the sun just barely starting to rise. Saturdays were meant for sleeping in, which meant Greg and Mary wouldn't stir until sometime after eight, giving them plenty of time together without being interrupted. Nothing had ever been said about them showering together, but with their strict rules of keeping the bedroom door open, they tried to make sure it only happened when their parents weren't home to avoid another embarrassing conversation.

"You coming?" Hopper asked as he pulled back the shower curtain, stirring Joyce from her thoughts. The water was already hot enough to create a fog on the mirror, making her wonder exactly how long she'd been standing there staring at the floor.

Moving on autopilot, Joyce stepped over the edge of the tub and sighed at the feel of Hopper's hands on her shoulders, backing her under the spray of the water. His fingers went to her hair, tilting her head to soak the strands while kissing lightly at her exposed neck.

The warmth of the water eased some of the tension in her muscles and his lips against her skin should have helped the ache in her chest, but there was still something just below the surface clawing and nagging like an irritated wound that wouldn't heal.

"Talk to me sweetheart," Hopper whispered as he soaped up their bodies to remove the mixture of cum and sweat that was still clinging to their skin. Joyce hadn't said a word since they left the bedroom and the expression on her face instantly alerted him to the inner battle she was having with herself.

"I'm scared." She admitted softly, her eyes falling shut.

"Honey I know you're scared, we all are, but I'll be back before you know it." Hopper comforted, pulling her against his chest.

Joyce shook her head and stepped out of his embrace, her nails biting into her palms. "You don't understand." She stated as she shifted her weight back and forth on each foot nervously, tears once again leaking down her cheeks. "I'm scared of myself…"

"What do you mean?" Hopper asked confused, watching her carefully as he reached up to turn the shower head away from them.

With a shaky exhale, Joyce frowned and wiped at her eyes to dry them unsuccessfully. She was giving everything she could to stay strong, not wanting him to feel worse for leaving. "I'm afraid of what I might do while you're gone...or if you don't come back." Swallowing down a sob, she paused for a moment to collect herself before continuing. "You're the only thing I've ever had that's made my life worth living, and without that…I don't know that I'll be okay." Her intentions weren't to make him feel guilty, or to make him feel sorry for her, she just needed someone to know she was legitimately terrified of what might happen to her well being if the darkness continued to overtake the thoughts in her head. It was already a struggle dealing with the added stress from everything, and her mind taking her to places she'd fought so hard to escape over the years wasn't helping support her self worth. She only managed to survive Travis for so long because of him. He was the spark of hope she needed to keep going, and without that, she wasn't sure she'd find the strength to make it out this time.

"Honey, no," Hopper said softly, his hand moving to touch her cheek so she'd look at him. "I need you to listen to me okay? There's so much more to this life than what I can give you. I know that's hard to believe since I'm the only thing you've had for so long, but trust me. If I don't make it back, you have to keep on living. If not for yourself, then for mom and dad. When you were sick and mom and I got into that fight, she was worried that if you had died the night Travis hurt you that she would lose me too. Imagine what that would do to our parents if they lost us both? They love you just as much as I do and it would absolutely devastate them."

Joyce leaned into his touch as he spoke, her hand moving to cover his still on her cheek. "How are you not scared?"

"Are you kidding me? I'm scared shitless. Do you honestly think I want to leave you and fight in this pointless war? I'm just tired of stressing over something we can't change and I want to enjoy the little bit of time we have left together without us arguing. I need you to be strong and keep it together so when I get back we can continue building the life we've always dreamed about." Removing his hand from her face, he quickly placed the shower head back to its original position and stepped under the water. "Besides, you waited seventeen years to let me love you, I know you're capable of waiting for one more to have me forever." Hopper half-smiled.

Letting out a huff, Joyce stepped to the side and watched as the water slowly rinsed away the soapy suds still covering their bodies. There was no telling how long he'd actually be gone, it could very well be longer than a year, but she didn't have the energy left to keep playing the same tune over and over. At this point, she felt like she was doing more damage to herself than actually making any progress in fixing their situation.

"I'm sorry," Joyce said softly as she pressed her chest against his to steal some of the water. "I keep making everything about me and my feelings and forgetting to make sure you're okay." He was the one getting shipped off to war where he didn't know a single person and tossed into a life without a definite future, yet she kept trying to blame him for wanting to leave like he was hurting her on purpose.

"You're allowed to be scared Honey," Hopper said as he reached around her to turn off the shower, his hands coming to rest on her hips. "What you're not allowed to do is talk like you won't be here waiting for me when I get back. I have to have at least one thing to fight for while I'm there or I won't make it. You give me strength in ways you can't even begin to understand, so please, don't give up on yourself."

Joyce forced herself to nod. If what he needed was for her to try and keep her faith that he was going to come home, then that's what she would do. A light smack to her ass brought her back to reality as Hopper stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist.

"I think mom deserves a break from making breakfast for once. What do you say? Keep me from burning the bacon"? Hopper gave Joyce his best smile as he held his hand out for her to keep her balance.

"Only if you drink orange juice instead of coffee."

"Deal."

00000

Mary's heart skipped a beat when she entered her kitchen Saturday morning. Whether it was from the adorable sight of Jim and Joyce attempting to make breakfast or the mess they had made trying, she didn't know.

"What's all this then?" She laughed as she made her way to the table, pulling out her chair and taking a seat.

"We thought it would be nice to give you a break from cooking." Jim smiled and moved to the coffee pot to pour his mother a cup, pancake batter smeared over the grey shirt he had thrown on that morning. Handing Mary the bitter drink, he placed a kiss on her cheek and returned to Joyce's side to take in the situation in front of him. Grabbing the spatula to his right, he began flipping pancakes just as Greg entered the kitchen.

"Did I just walk into someone else's house? Who are these teenagers, and how do they know how to cook?"

"Ha ha, very funny dad." Hopper mocked, moving the now crispy bacon onto a plate and taking it to the table.

"I'm just saying son, I never see you even attempt to cook. The last time was on our anniversary and that was months ago." Greg teased.

"I never think about it because mom always does it."

"And it was an amazing gesture, Honey. I woke up smelling bacon and honestly got concerned for a second though."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence there mom." Hopper playfully rolled his eyes.

Mary giggled and took a sip of her coffee after adding a spoonful of sugar.

Joyce grabbed the plate of pancakes and set it down on the table before taking her seat to the left of Mary.

"What made you two get up so early anyway?" Greg wondered aloud as he poured syrup over his entire plate of food.

"Neither of us could sleep. Figured we may as well get up and do something nice." Hopper confided as he waited for his turn with the maple syrup.

A comfortable silence overtook the kitchen as they stuffed their faces, the only care in the world being who would get the last piece of bacon. Greg won like always and once he crammed the piece in his mouth, he wiped his hands with a napkin and leaned back in his chair with a sigh.

"You two have any plans for today?"

Joyce shrugged, tossing her napkin onto her now empty plate. "Was there anything you needed us to do?"

"Not at all Darlin'. Your mother and I were probably going to head into town later to look at a young colt a family was thinking of selling. Didn't know if either of you had any interest in joining us?" He chuckled.

"That's gonna be a no from me dad." Hopper laughed and grabbed his plate, moving to stand. "We'll probably just go to the tree house and hang out for a while."

"I'm with Jim on this one." Joyce grinned and started collecting dishes from the table to place in the sink. While everything seemed warm and comforting on the outside, Joyce was still suffering from the thoughts that had been plaguing her mind all morning, and she really hoped the time spent with Hopper at the tree house would take away some of the pain she was still feeling.

00000

"Earth to Jim." Joyce called, startling Hopper as she waved her hand in front of his face. How long had she been speaking to him? "Can we please go over the options and why they won't work one more time? I promise I won't bring it up again, I just…. I don't want you to go."

"What's there to talk about? My number was drawn and I have to go. There's nothing I can do about it. Will you please just try to enjoy being with me while we're still together?" Hopper sighed, not wanting to meet her eyes, knowing she was trying her best not to cry. She cried all the time now it seemed, even right then, and he could practically feel her forcing back her emotions.

"There has to be something we can do Jim, I can't just let you go to war not knowing where you are or if you're okay, it's going to break me, Hop. I can't do it. I need you here with me. Your parents need you here. We have to figure something out."

Hopper leaned his head back, needing a second to breathe. "Joyce, there is literally nothing I can do. I am physically fit, have a clean bill of health and my dad's still alive, so there would be someone to carry on the Hopper bloodline. We're not married, we don't have any children and that's all they care about. There's nothing we can do. Nothing dad has been able to do. So please Honey, just come sit with me and let me hold you while I can." Hopper's voice cracked on the last sentence, those words harder to get out than he ever thought possible. Being away from her was going to be the most difficult thing he would have to do in his life and he prayed he would be able to make it back to her. To eventually have those things they both wanted.

"Are you even listening to me!" Joyce practically screamed, the smile on her face seeming odd for the weight of their current conversation. Joyce growled in frustration when she realized he had once again zoned out on her. Stomping her foot like a child, she stormed over to him before placing a thigh on either side of his legs, her hands quickly moving to cup his face, the five o clock shadow he sported stinging her palms. "You did it, Hop! You figured out how to stay home!" Joyce shrieked before crashing her lips to his.

"Wait, wait, Joy, what are you talking about?" He questioned, not entirely sure what he figured out.

"Marrying me. Marry me and you won't be able to be drafted anymore! You'll have a dependent and they can't take you." Joyce said with glee. It wasn't until she noticed the look on his face that her glee suddenly turned to worry. "Hop, what's wrong? We figured it out, you won't be leaving now."

"Joyce. I love you with all my being. You are literally the other half of my soul..." Joyce leaned back from him, her hands falling from his face to his chest.

"But?" She asked hesitantly.

"Honey, I want to marry you because I love you and because we decided on it together. Not so I can keep from being drafted. I don't want to be known as one of those draft dodgers who did whatever was in their grasps to stay home. If I'm called to defend my country, my home, to protect you, I will do what is asked of me."

Those words hung between them in silence, a pin could drop in their tree house and it would ring out like a shotgun.

"You don't want to marry me?" Joyce whispered, the hurt in her voice unmistakable.

"Not if the only reason we're doing it now is to keep me from going to Vietnam."

Hopper's hands slid down to rest on her hips, his thumbs trying to rub soothing circles into her skin, but she had moved from his lap before any contact was actually made. Without a word, she crossed the tree house and opened the hatch.

"Where are you going? Honey, please stop and talk to me." Hopper pleaded when he realized his mistake.

Joyce held her hand up, requesting that he not take a step closer. "I'm sorry that if the choice comes between marrying me or going to Vietnam, that you would pick going to fucking war. Do I really repulse you that much Jim? That you would rather be in a jungle, thousands of miles away, fighting for your life, then being home in Hawkins with me?" The tears she'd held back for so long were now flowing freely down her cheeks.

"That's not what I meant and you know-" Before he could finish his sentence, she was climbing down the ladder. "Joyce, I want to marry you, but not just so I won't be drafted, that's a coward's way out." He called, dropping to his knees to carelessly hang his upper half out of the hatch. He knew she heard his pleas, but she chose to ignore them as she ran through the knee-high grass and toward the house without giving him a second glance.

00000

Sniffling and scrubbing could instantly be heard when Mary climbed the steps to the second level of their house. She found herself leaning against the door frame of the bathroom, the sight of Joyce armed with elbow-length gloves scrubbing viciously at the base of the shower greeting her.

"Looks like my stress relief technique has found its way over to you." Mary laughed lightly as she watched her daughter take her frustration out on the ceramic shower floor. When Joyce didn't acknowledge her presence, Mary walked into the small bathroom and took a seat on the already sparkling toilet.

"Want to talk about it?" She asked, knowing Joyce wouldn't want to be touched right now. Her question was answered with more silence and Mary knew that Joyce heard every word that she spoke, but she was having a hard time processing what was bothering her. Given the news Jim received about Greg being unable to find any loopholes in his draft, she had a hunch what it was. Ever the patient parent, Mary waited for her to speak first. What seemed like an entire bottle of cleaner later Joyce finally took a deep breath and sat on the now pristine floor, her back against the tub.

"I've tried and tried to think of everything possible to keep him from leaving. Dad also did everything he could and the only option I came up with that would actually work he practically refused. I'm lost and don't know what to do."

The thought of Jim refusing anything Joyce was able to figure out baffled Mary, because she knew her son would do anything for her, so why the refusal?

"What did you suggest he do Honey?" Mary wondered aloud.

"I told him we should get married. Then I would be a dependent and they wouldn't take him, and he just…refused. We had plans to do it eventually anyway, but he said he wanted to marry me because we were ready for it, not to keep him home." Joyce choked out. Home. This house would not be a home to her if Jim never made it back and Mary knew it. That's why she chose her next words carefully.

"Joyce, I know you want to do whatever it takes to keep him here, we all do. But I have to agree with Jim on this one. He wouldn't be able to go through with it if he knew the reason behind it was anything more then him loving you."

For once in her life, Joyce didn't think that Mary understood her pain. Hopper was the only reason she had made it this far in life. He was her everything, the reason she continued to breathe and if he was gone, Joyce wouldn't know what she would do. The fact that Mary agreed with Jim made what spark Joyce had left slow fade out, like rain on a field fire. Shakily, she stood, taking her gloves as she went. She couldn't be around anyone right now. None of them understood the desperation she was feeling.

"Honey I didn't mean to upset you, I just-"

Mary's words went ignored as Joyce deposited the gloves in the bathroom sink and walked calmly down the hallway, defeat weighing heavily on her shoulders. Grabbing a pillow and a thin blanket out of the hall closet, Joyce carefully tucked the materials under her arm and pushed the screen door to the porch open. Glancing around the front of the house, she silently crawled into the bed of Hopper's truck. Throwing the pillow toward the cab, she tightly wrapped herself up in the blanket and hunkered down against the cold metal of the old blue Chevy..

The stars littering the sky above her were the only things that saw the silent tears stream down her cheeks as she cried. She cried for Hopper, she cried for herself, and for their future that may be quickly coming to an end.