Title: Beauty in the Mundane Moments

Author: ZombieJazz

Fandom: SVU

Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law&Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Jack, Benji and Emmy have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.

Summary: A series of stand-alone, non-chronological ONE-SHOTS set in Hello Goodbye, Welcome Home, Facing Forward, Best Laid Plans, A Step At A Time, The Night Before AU. Olivia Benson navigates the job, parenthood and marriage while trying to find the difficult work-life-family balance that comes with being a cop.

PLEASE NOTE: These chapters are stand-alone SCENES or one-shots. This is not a chronological story and there is no purposeful continuity. It is just a collection of moments. Some will reflect random ideas or potentially fun, humorous, heavy scenes to write with these characters. Others will expand on a scene from an episode (past or present) or recast the way a scene went while imaging it in this AU. Others will take a kernel from an episode and use it as inspiration for how these characters might've interacted with it going forward. Wherever possible, a year, season number or episode name will be provided to give some context of the general timeframe of the scene — to provide some guidance on where the characters are at mentally/emotionally and the ages of the children.

TIMEFRAME: October 2019, set in S21E06 - Murdered at a Bad Address (FOLLOWS the chapter entitled 'Family' of this series — may be reordered to land there at a later date).

Brian worked on prepping some lunch shit for him and Liv to toss in their bags and then maybe remember them enough to at least take them out at work and toss in their lunch room fridges. Or maybe more like at least their bottom desk drawers. Though, the real most likely was that they'd forget about them and/or not have time to eat them all day. And that they might even just remain in their bags all fucking day. Eventually get dragged home again. Maybe put back in their own kitchen fridge. Maybe get dragged to work again the next day. Be forgotten again. And eventually get tossed because they'd just reached the point of being gross that the food had spent that much time out of the fridge and been dragged that many miles back and forth across the city.

But he drained the fucking chickpeas anyways. Slowly. Starting at the water as it trickled into the fridge. It was distraction. Ways of keeping himself level and not fucking losing it. Expressing his mind and his opinion in a place it was wanted but clearly unwanted in that moment. So he instead tried to think about these fucking salad in a jar things that he was pretending like they were worthwhile to be making. When he knew that him and Liv would both just live on coffee all day at work anyway. But at least it was a way to tolerate vaguely letting himself listen to Liv trying to talk herself into some shit that she clearly wanted to talk herself out of. But was having some kind of moral conundrum about it. Didn't want to be the bitch. Or something. So was likely working at him being the asshole. Brian didn't exactly mind. As long as him being the asshole didn't mean she treated him like the asshole because of it. And he really couldn't tell where that might land. But he also knew his opinion on the matter.

"You really don't have anything to say about this?" Liv finally said.

He glanced up at her. "You really want to hear what I have to say?" he put back to her. Let her decide if she was going to vent on this more or whatever it was she was doing.

But she gestured at him. "I'm trying to have conversation with you," she said – with tone and fucking annoyance that he didn't really feel like should be directed at him. Because he was bubbling up with his own annoyance too. "I'd like to hear your opinion."

Brian looked her in the eye. "My opinion is that I don't want the kids anywhere near him," he said. "And I'm having trouble understanding how you even have any kind of inkling that it's a half-decent idea."

She stared at him. "He's my brother, Brian," she put directly.

Brian stared right back. "He's your half-brother fathered by the man who raped your mother," he pressed back at her. "You really want to wade into all that with the kids when you go making that introduction?"

"I told them he was a friend," Liv said.

"Yea," Brian muttered and looked back to what he was doing. "Really seemed like Ben was buying that one." He gave her a glance and gestured at the food. "You want kale or quinoa?"

"Both," she said flatly.

He nodded and started layering some of the stuff into the jars that'd be forgotten. Actually it might even be a fucking miracle if they made them into either of their bags tomorrow.

"You know you didn't even fucking tell me you had a brother until all the paperwork and legal hoops with Em?"

Liv shrugged. "He wasn't a part of my life then."

He stared at her. "Liv, he wasn't a part of your life ever," he pressed at her. "Except a couple random times this ass-hat shows up and stirs up shit. He's looking for something. Wants something."

"He doesn't have any family left, Bri," she said. "I'm his only family. He just … wants connection. I know what's that like."

"Yea, exactly. And he wants to fucking play on your emotion by using lines like that," he said. "Liv, you fucking deal with these kinds of manipulative assholes every week. Don't buy into his bullshit. He's not family."

She sighed and looked at him. All disapproving like.

"He's not," Brian said. "You really think I'm the only fucking human being that my sperm donor fathered? And you really think you'd be wanting to throw open the doors if some stranger showed up on our doorstep saying he was my long lost brother?"

"Simon's not a stranger," Liv said.

Brian put down the spoons – and knives he was working with. "He's a fucking stranger to me," he said. "And to our kids. He's a fucking stranger to you too, Liv. What do you really know about the guy? Beyond crap in police case files and court records?"

"I've had conversations with him," she said. "I've met my niece. My nephew."

"You've met them," he said flatly. "You don't know anything about them. You've seen them once. You know who your nieces and nephew are? Leo. Rollins' girls – Jesse, Billie. Kids you see. Know. That you're a fucking god-mother to, Olivia. That's our family. That's what we fucking decided. And not some guy who's been in and out of the court system, spent time in jail, multiple arrests going back to when he's a teenager. An admitted addict. That's really someone you want to just let into our kids lives and be their 'uncle'? I don't fucking think so."

"I wasn't planning on introducing him that way to the kids," she said. "I was just … going to give him the opportunity to … get to know them."

"Our kids?" Brian put back at her. "Ben who fucking cowers from adult men? Still. You think they aren't going to realize that they've never met this 'friend' before? Or heard you ever talk about him? Mention him? That this ass-hat isn't going to conveniently slip that he's your 'brother' or their 'uncle'. And confuse the shit out of them. You really want to explain to them how you have a 'brother' you've never mentioned before? Who you have no stories about growing up with? Who's father is the same as yours when you've told them you didn't have a dad growing up?"

"They know that all families are different," Liv said.

Brian shook his head. "Yea. They do. And you really want this to open the doors to them asking more questions about who and where our fathers or? Or worse - where they fucking come from? Because they're already doing that, Liv. Our sanitized vague-itys only work so well. You know that. They're fucking appeasing Ben less and less. You really want this to start conversations about rapist fathers and unknown genetics and disappearing mothers and drug addicts and domestic abuse and fucking molestation? All the shit we do and don't know about who the fuck these kids' parents are. Because that shit – it fucking scares me. I want to put off having those conversations with either of them – and all the fucking fallout we both know it's gonna cause - as long as possible."

She sighed at him.

"Please fucking tell me we're only having this conversation because you want me to fucking talk you out of this? Or to give you permission to tell this guy to just go fuck himself? Listen to your gut, Liv."

"Bri …" she sighed again. Her head shaking and mother gaping like that really wasn't what was going on.

"I can be the asshole," he pressed at her. "I will be the asshole. I will do the whole 'they're my kids too' thing. And, Olivia, I DON'T want MY KIDS anywhere near this guy. You aren't taking them to see him. Not lunch. Not dinner. Not ice cream. Not him getting to see them play in the park. Just hard stop. No."

"You know I dig in my heels harder when we go into that dynamic," she said.

"So then don't fucking make me go into that dynamic, Liv," he said. "This doesn't need to be a fight. I don't think you want it to be a fight. I don't think you want Big Man and Ducky anywhere near this guy either. I mean – fool me once? Fool me twice? Don't go for fool me three times while you're wearing your – our – hearts right on your sleeve. C'mon, Olivia. The fuck …"

She sighed and spread her arms wide on the opposite side of the counter. Putting a whole lot of her weight on them. And just staring at the flat surface for a long time.

Brian just stared at her thinking. He tried to read her thought process by boring into the top of her head. It only worked so well.

Sometimes he felt like they'd known each other long enough – been in a relationship long enough, we enough of a fit, shared enough of a foundation that they got the way the other thought. How they ticked. And then there were all these fucking moments – some pretty fucking important ones – where sometimes it felt like all that just blew out the window.

She finally looked up at him. "Would you come and meet him with me? For dinner? Get another read on him and … where he's coming from or what he's actually looking for."

"Liv, he conveniently showed up at our kids favorite playground less than a mile from our house – in Brooklyn. Last time he saw you – you lived in Manhattan. The guy's …" he shook his head. He didn't want to use stalking but he thought they both knew that she'd at least been followed. This just didn't scream coincidence. Sometimes New York ended up feeling pretty fucking small and full of all these serendipitous moments. But this just didn't ring true at that.

"I know," Liv acknowledged, though. "But maybe you'll feel differently about him – or what his intentions are – if you actually sit down with him."

"I don't think so," he said. And the way they locked eyes he knew that either of them were sure if he meant he didn't think his opinion would change or he didn't think there was any way in hell what she was asking would ever actually happen.

"Bri," she said so fucking evenly, "you're one of the most talented interrogators I know. You know how to get people talking. Put him in the box for me, please. Let me watch what happens."

He sighed at her and slouched his weight onto the counter too – their eyes locked together.

What you did for love and family?

He didn't think this Simon Marsden character had a clue about either.

AUTHOR NOTE:

Likely going to do a couple shorty dialogue driven ones like this. Just pound them out quick. Hopefully.

Also should've mentioned some other ideas I have for chapters include:

-Cassidy/Em and Janet (with some Benji and Liv in the background)

-have an idea for a Cassidy/Tucker chapter

-have an idea for a Cassidy/Stabler chapter

-have an idea for a Liv/Voight chapter based around the CPD AU I've written in (there'd be Bri and the kids in the background)

-have an idea for Liv and another mom in a Benji gets a new friend type moment

-know I should to a Brian/Benji and/or Brian/Ducky chapter

-know I should do a Janet and/or Cragen with the grandkids

-know I should do something with Alex. Not sure if it should be Alex/Jack or Alex/Liv, though and no idea for context or conversation

-sort of want to do some more 'getaway' different setting/outing type family chapters (e.g. Boston, Queens Hall of Science, Transit Museum, Long Island Aquarium, Fire Fighter Museum, conservation or park areas, library times or science activities, maybe revisit Cragen/Elieen in Florida or her son's farm, sports game outing)

-know there should be a Jack/Brian chapter too

-sort of feel like a Liv/Barba moment might be appropriate too

-and/or feel like there should maybe be some mention of Amaro and his kids

-not sure how much to play with Benji but could do some scenes related to science fair, Battle of the Books, hockey, their 'ninja/parkor' club, basketball, etc.

-and obviously I need to figure out something for Jack to do with the kids or at least Benji again. But think it might be better to include Emmy and maybe Renee in the next appearance by them.

Anyway, any thoughts or ideas for scenarios, settings or conversation topics (or pairings of characters having them) are welcome. DM them. I'll consider. Sometimes I write them.

Ideas of moments in episodes that you feel would be interesting recast with this AU's group of characters. Or scenes in episodes that you think could deserve an interesting follow looking at the fall-out or interactions of these characters are appreciated too. It doesn't have to be from season 21. But shouldn't technically go back farther than Season 14, which is when the characters of Jack and Benji were introduced.

I'm willing to play with the CPD characters too. Within these AUs of my writing, Brian would've worked with Erin Lindsay in the period after she left the CPD series to work in New York.