DISCLOSURE STATEMENT: This author has no financial or non-financial relation nor do they possess any right to "Inuyasha: A Feudal Fairy Tale" franchise. Full ownership of all characters is the sole intellectual property of Rumiko Takahashi.
Wherever You Will Go
Groaning, Inuyasha blinked sluggishly at the soft orange light that signaled dusk was upon them. A signal of the end of one of the most humiliating days of his life. The memory of that morning honestly seemed like a blur. Wallowing in self-pity like that wasn't really his way. Or at least it hasn't been. He hadn't wallowed when mother died. He hadn't even wallowed, much, when Kikyo died. Either time. Why was this affecting so much more than someone dying?
He sighed softly and glanced down at the woman sprawled out on his chest. Kagome was everything he ever wanted and things he never even knew he was capable of asking for. Even when he'd been reduced to...to that, she still stayed by him.
Truth be told he was utterly disgusted he'd reacted like that. What was so overwhelming about learning simple things anyway? Why was everything seemingly overwhelming anymore? It made no sense. This wasn't who he was. This had never been who he was but then here he was acting like a little bitch over things that wouldn't even kill him.
Maybe that was the problem though. For the first time in his life, he honestly wasn't in danger of dying. There was nobody here chasing him or looking for a fight. He knew beyond a doubt that he was safe. There was nowhere he needed to be. No reason to run or hide like he'd done almost every day of his life. No tasks, no quests, no goals to keep his mind busy. There was nothing for him to focus on except what was bouncing around in his mind.
He needed a goal, he decided, or at least something else to focus on. He always did betterwhen he had something to block out the dark cloud that had followed him around since childhood. Survival has been the goal for a long time although that goal came and went throughout the decades. Then Kikyo came into his life and his goal became being with and protecting her. The jewel shards, Naraku and revenge came next. Then Kagome and being reunited with her became his focus. It was after he gave up on Kagome that everything started to go haywire in his mind. All the dark thoughts jumping at the opportunity to shine for once and spiraling from there. Gaining momentum with each passing day.
He needed to find something else to focus on. The clearest option would be Kagome but she seemed more than capable of caring for herself in this era. He wasn't actually needed which was also causing problems. He wasn't actually needed for practicalreasons like protection or providing. His focus needed to be...needed to be...
Assimilating.
Yeah. That might work. After all, part of what fueled him during the quest for the jewel was the desire to fit in. He could just rely on old faithful and work towards fitting in in this time. Differently, of course, but having an actual goal would definitelywork like it had in the past. He was pretty sure it would anyway.
Wanting to stop feeling like this as quickly as possible, his next course of action wasn't the best thought out all things considered. He stealthily maneuvered himself off the bed taking great care to not disturb Kagome as he did so. Went to the closest and picked out an outfit that he felt he'd seen other men in this time wear. A basic royal blue shirt. A pair of soft dark grey sweatpants. Underwear, of course, and flip flops. He choose a plain black bandana to top it all off.
And then he headed to his next destination. The cash Kagome had laid out that morning was still on the table. He quickly pocketed it and the card. His key quickly followed and he was out the door and on his way to make a pretty drastic, probably regrettable change.
Kagome hummed tiredly as she stretched out on her bed. Lazy days like this were the best but unfortunately she had to go back to work in three days. She'd been neglecting doing lesson plans too. That was definitely going to eat up her Sunday. That...wait...
Her eyes shot wide open and she bolted upright. To her shame it had taken her a minute to remember why she'd taken a nap in the first place. Her shame morphed you horror as she glanced around the small apartment and gently forced her power out to try to make sure he was still there.
He wasn't.
"InuYasha?" Kagome called out in a worried tone as she quickly scrambled out of bed, "Where are you?"
Rushing into the living room her worry escalated into full blown panic as she looked around and saw no signs of him. He wouldn't have left, would he? Where would he even...
"Oh no," she breathed as she rushed to grab her jacket and some shoes. She didn't have time to change out of her pjs. She needed to get to the well and she needed to get there now before he did somethingthat couldn't be undone.
Inuyasha felt strangely proud of himself as he casually walked down the street while the sun dipped below the horizon. It seemed silly but just this simple action actually was working to make him feel slightly better about the whole thing. He was just another guy going about his business like everyone else. No one cared about what he obviously was as they passed by without so much as a second glance. It was actually kinda nice. Any comments he did overhear were about the one thing he was on his way to change. Once that was done no one who he didn't care about would even notice him. And after that he'd prove to Kagome he understood how money worked here. Every man that walked by he took mental notes. It seemed like most of them wore a blue cotton-like material. There were various shades, of course, but most men his age seemed to be wearing those. If everyone was wearing them, they should be relatively easy to find. Still first things first. He needed to fix the one thing people were noticing.
The question was where the hell could he do that. In retrospect, he probably should have asked Kagome but he really didn't want to remind her of the fact he didn't know anything. That was the entire point of this. To prove he could figure things out on his own. He'd find this service. There seemed to be a shop for everything here. There had to be a shop for that.
And sure enough there was. It seemed fancier than he was expecting for such a crude profession. Hair was rather dirty after all. He cringed and hoped that he hadn't stumbled across the most expensive person in this town. Any pride Kagome might feel might get overshadowed if he'd spent too much.
Opening the door, he crinkled his nose at the almost overwhelming scent. A mixture of acid, burnt hair and chemicals he'd never been exposed to before covered up with some type of faux floral perfume bullshit. It was all he could do not to gag.
An elderly woman began rushing over to him as she wiped her hands with a towel and smiled.
"Good evening. Do you have an appointment?" she asked as she moved behind the counter and began running her finger over a lined piece of paper. He shook his head and she furrowed her brow.
"Oh, well with that much hair we will need to make you one," she began before noticing how quickly his face fell and the blush on his cheeks, "But maybe we can fit you in. What type of service are you looking for today?"
"Haircut," he tried to say more confidently than he felt and the woman eyed his long silver locks.
"A trim?"
He shook his head, "I want it short. Like...like everyone else."
"Have you ever had a haircut before?" she asked before cringing sheepishly and blushing herself, "I'm sorry. It's just so long."
"No, no it's, um, fine. I've...I've never had it cut before."
"And you want to get it cut short," the woman asked with a skeptical smile, "That's quite drastic."
"I need a change."
"I see. Well, if you're sure, I'll need to cut off a lot of it before we wash it. Just take off the bandana and..." the old woman began with a sigh and Inuyasha panicked.
"I...I can't take the bandana off."
"Do you need help or..."
"I..." his mind raced to find a reasonable explanation before screeching to a halt when the most obvious one came to mind. One he'd been told all his life.
"I'm deformed. The bandana covers it. I don't want anyone to see," he replied with a dejected sigh, "If you can't cut around it, I..."
The woman's eyes softened sympathetically and she gave him a sad yet understanding smile.
"Here. Let's go to the back. We have a training station," she offered as she began walking and he followed her even as his heart plummeted. Why was he even following her? She obviously wanted to see what marked him as a freak. They entered a small room with a single chair and small mirror before she closed the door behind her.
"Let me see then," she ordered gently and he tensed. Humans in this time didn't know demons existed. She'd probably run screaming in horror if she saw. This was a mistake. He'd get Kagome to cut it. This was...
"There is no reason to be afraid," the woman continued as she gestured for him to sit, "I volunteer at the children's hospital every Sunday. Whatever you have wrong with you, I assure you I've seen worse."
"Doubt it," he breathed before deciding to hell with it and he took off the bandana before averting his eyes so he didn't have to see her disgust.
"That's it?" the woman laughed although he could tell by her scent it bothered her.
"Don't worry. You're still handsome. If that is the worst that happens to you in this life, it is a good one," she tried as she began to run her fingers through his hair - pausing slightly around where his ears should be, "Now when you say short how attached are you to that idea?"
"I just want something more normal," he muttered miserably as he tried to ignore the scent radiating off her. She pitied him. Was slightly frightened. Worried. A little grossed out. How could Kagome even stand to look at them, much less touch them? No one wanted to look at their veiny, fuzzy, twitching glory. Not even him.
The woman picked up a nearby magazine and began flipping through it before making a small sound of recognition and putting a picture in front of his face. The man had what looked like a half sloppy top knot with some length on the sides framing his face and the remaining hair halfway down his neck.
"It's a mini man-bun," she giggled as she pulled it back, "I would cut your hair to be shoulder length. Clean up your bangs and forelocks. You could pull it back or let it down. This style I think will give you more confidence than having it too short and be closer to what you're used to having."
"Whatever you think," InuYasha mumbled as he closed his eyes so he didn't have to see what the woman was about to do.
"Don't feel bad about being different," she hummed as she began to section off pieces of his hair, "Everyone has their own set of challenges. The ears aside you're still very good looking. One day you'll find a pretty girl and..."
"I have a..." he began before clearing his throat as he mulled over what exactly to call Kagome now that they'd been intimate, "I have a wife."
"And she's okay with you cutting your hair?" the woman asked knowingly and he blushed.
"I want to surprise her," he whispered as he opened his eyes to glance at the woman who was in the process of rolling her eyes before going about her business.
"Next time you do something like this tell her first," the woman advised as she finished sectioning off his hair and reached for the scissors, "How long have you been married?"
"Not long," he sighed as he closed his eyes and prayed this woman would stop asking questions.
"How long have you known each other then?" she asked and he cringed. His concept of time was still a little...
"Eight or nine summers," he tried and he felt the woman pause. Opening his eyes, he was taken aback by the slightly adoring smile she was giving him.
"I like how you said that," she explained as she began unfurling on of the sections and ran two fingers down the piece, "Not many men are romantic these days. My late husband was like you. Always trying to..."
It was hard to hold back the groan that wanted to escape as she began hacking off feet of hair.
It was damn near impossible to track his aura. He'd gone this way for several blocks mercifully awayfrom the shrine. At least she could rule out the worst case scenario but after that, it was gone with the wind. Where was he going and why? So many 'whys' bounced around in her head. Why hadn't he said anything? Why had he left? Why did he always, always think he had to do everything on his own? He probably had some hair-brained scheme that he wanted to prove he could do something. But the mystery of what that something might be eluded her. Maybe he went to buy pants? They had been talking about that earlier. Would he even know where to buy them though? His sense of smell was pretty impressive and the mall was in this direction.
She quickened her pace as she turned a corner and passed right by a series of nail and hair salons.
"This isn't the finished product," the woman warned as she finally pulled back some thirty minutes later, "This was just to make it easier to wash."
She paused and furrowed her brow.
"Are your ears sensitive?" she asked in a worried tone, "We do have sensitive shampoo and conditioner but do they hurt when touched?"
He opened his eyes at the question before subtly shaking his head. No one had ever asked if they hurt before. People either assumed it would cause pain when wrung - which was correct - and didn't think about it further because that's what they wanted or they assumed they were sensitive to touch for other reasons like pleasure and calm - also true. Most people in his experience knew they were sensitive but no one had ever actually asked.
"Is your hair dyed? Or bleached?" she asked next and he shook his head again. He could tell she didn't believe him.
"It's my natural hair," he coughed lightly before finally looking at the mirror and his eyes bugged. Oh god what had he done.
"Again this is not the finished product," the woman rushed to soothe when she saw his mildly horrified face, "Come on. Let's get you shampooed and then we'll come back, hm?"
Kagome was at her absolutely wits end as she searched the large, expansive mall. Even going as far as to ask the security team to see whether they saw a man with long silver hair wandering around. They hadn't and that only made her stomach churn. If he wasn't here, maybe he'd gone towards the well after all and she'd just wasted a good hourlooking for him where he wasn't.
"Shit," she breathed as she violently pushed open the door leading back to the busy street, "Oh, if you went through the well, I will find a way to get back there and kill you myself so help me god."
"So you pull it back like this," the woman instructed as she collected half of his hair and pulled it back into a somewhat spiky top knot. Gently wrapping the ponytail holder around it, she then began messing with the loose hair so it frame his face in an attractive way before reaching for his bandana.
"Men always go for the simplest way," she sighed as she began to fold into into something more reminiscent of a thick hair band before arranging it so it covered his ears and the sides of his head before tying it into a knot at the base of his neck. Pulling a few blocks of hair here and there, she finally pulled back and turned the chair so he could see himself. He blinked.
It...it actually didn't look terrible. Not something he would have ever thought to do in a million years but that wasn't saying much. He had only ever had exactly one hairstyle. In fact it actually made him look pretty good, he decided. A small smile began playing with his lips.
"See. Handsome," she hummed with a satisfied nod before adding sternly, "But you'll need to come back in a few months to clean it up."
He nodded gratefully before getting up.
"Do you like it?" she asked and he nodded again. She patted his cheek with a withered hand.
"Let's make an appointment this time," she laughed as she opened the door and began heading towards the front receptionist's desk.
"Will you be paying with cash or card?"
With each step Kagome's ire grew. How dare he just decide he was going to wander around aimlessly without even telling her? And if he'd tried to go through the well?! Oooohhh she'd sit him until the cows came home.
She had half a mind to do it anyway.
"That stubborn..." Kagome huffed angrily as she continued marching back towards the shrine before freezing when a flicker of his aura caressed his cheek. Turning slowly towards the sensation, she nearly dropped dead when she saw him. If he didn't have a smile on his face, she would've decked him but as it was...
Yeah, she still might deck him.
She noticed his nose twitching and his face turned towards her. The smile fading somewhat as he obviously caught the scent of her probably livid aura. Bowing slightly at the woman at the register he rushed outside with a sheepish smile.
"I did a thing," he tried to explain as he waited for her verdict. She looked mad enough to sit him and the small flame of confidence he'd felt began to flicker with the threat of going out entirely.
She sighed and chewed the inside of her cheek. Why did he have to look so adorably proud of himself after making her worry like that?
"What...what do you think?" he pushed as insecurity began welling in his gut. She hadn't said anything and she looked so angry.
"I wish you would've told me," she huffed finally before adding with a soft sigh, "But it looks good. I like it."
"Sorry," he mumbled as he realized she was probably right. No, definitely right. He should've told her. That was his bad.
"Why did you cut your hair?" she asked as she turned and began walking home. He could still smell the upset, worry and anger radiating off her like the plague.
"You don't like it."
"I don't like that you didn't tell me where you went. I was worried sick," Kagome huffed as she grabbed his hand tightly, "Your hair is fine."
"Sorry," he breathed as he clasped her hand just as tightly, "I thought you'd be proud I did this on my own."
"Would've been prouder if you'd freaking told me," Kagome huffed before stopping and grabbing the much shorter pieces of hand. With a soft yank to force him down, she kissed him fiercely and what tension had been building melted out of him instantly.
"I love you but don't scare me like again," she chided when she pulled back. For a moment that spark of smugness and confidence shone in his eyes before it faded and the haunted look was back though not as intense as it had been that morning.
"I should've told you," he sighed heavily as he grabbed her hand again and gave her a once over, "I didn't mean to scare you. You look like you ran right out the door."
"I did," she admitted as she gave him a side-Long glare.
"Sorry."
She glanced at him again and frowned.
"You didn't bring your sword," she commented softly. He wrinkled his nose and shrugged.
"Haven't really been carrying it around the house. Slipped my mind," he admitted before Kagome stopped and yanked on his hand.
"I think you need to start carrying it again," she opined thoughtfully as the scent of anger finally faded, "Maybe that's part of the problem."
His face fell at the reminder of how much a mess he was right now.
"S'not like I'm turning into a full demon," InuYasha argued as he began to fidget and she shook her head.
"It balances you, right?" she pointed out as she tapped a finger against her lips, "I think you can agree that you probably need some balancing right now. It might help or it might not. Who knows? I don't."
"I think I just need to get out more," he began slowly before clearing his throat, "This helped."
"I'm glad," she hummed before glancing around, "Why don't I go home and get changed and maybe we can eat out tonight? You know you. Me. Food."
"I'd like that. I'd like that a lot."
