DISCLOSURE STATEMENT: This author has no financial or non-financial relation nor do they possess any right to "Inuyasha: A Feudal Fairy Tale" franchise. Full ownership of all characters is the sole intellectual property of Rumiko Takahashi.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry. Didn't like the chapter I posted last night. Rewrote the whole thing. Same result. There ya go.
Wherever You Will Go
"I'll be home before you know it," Kagome promised as she picked up her purse and slung it over her shoulder, "I set my alarm to go off thirty minutes before I get back, okay? And...and I left the school's number on the table. If something happens, just call and I'll..."
As she turned to face him, two masculine hands cupped her face before Inuyasha kissed her so deeply she wasn't sure who was breathing for whom. The moment ended far too quickly and when he finally pulled back, she missed it immediately.
"I'll be fine," he promised - both his eyes and mouth smiling, "You don't need to worry."
"I know," she lied seamlessly and prayed his nose couldn't detect her fib. In truth, she was absolutely terrified to leave him alone. What if he had another nightmare or ended up losing his mind over something with no one there to stop him from drowning in his own tears? Millions of worst-case scenarios were racing through her mind – each more terrifying than the next.
"Don't look like that," he chided playfully, "It's going to be fine. I'm a big boy. I can handle myself."
Forcing a smile onto her face, Kagome opened her mouth to respond but he cut her off with another searing kiss that made her legs go weak. Clawed fingers worked their way into her hair while the empty hand drew her closer. If he could tuck her inside of him, he would have so he never had to let her go again. Keep her here with him for all of eternity. But alas, he must release her for the time being and it brought him tremendous relief that the knowledge hadn't tripped off the hidden alarm bells usually ringing in his mind. Pulling back, he rested his forehead against hers – panting lightly.
"Do you have to leave right now?" he panted huskily as one hand tried to worm under her shirt but Kagome stopped him and rolled her eyes.
"I wish I didn't have to go but yeah, I need to be there early. It's the first day back," she breathed as she gently pressed her lips against his and he chuckled softly.
"Just hurry home when you finish," he hummed as he finally released her and sighed despondently, "I'll be here."
"I know," she replied with a heartfelt smile as she reached up to gently stroke his cheek, "I love you."
"Love you too."
And with that, she left - glancing over her shoulder with a sad little smile before closing the door behind her. Inuyasha's smile slowly faded as he remained where he was in the quiet apartment. The air conditioner whirring. The refrigerator humming. A few birds chirping outside. Him alone with nothing to do.
Swallowing thickly, he swung his arms as he glanced around - unsure of his next move. While he was expected at the shrine, the sun hadn't even risen yet. The looming pink on the horizon just now signaling the coming dawn. It was strange to him that she was expected to be at her job so early and a traitorous part of himself worried that she just was trying to get away from him. To have a break from the insufferable way he'd been acting since he came here. Try as he might to tell that part to go to hell, the thought lingered. Swirling unchecked in his gut until it became the most prominent idea bouncing around in his mind. No matter how he tried to argue against it, the thought remained.
"Whatever," he finally huffed as he yawned and made his way back to the bed. Maybe he could just sleep a few more hours and go from there. It still felt weird after a lifetime of sleeping in trees or upright to lay down - much less on the most heavenly futon he'd ever had the pleasure of using. The old ways that had allowed him to survive no longer useful in any way whatsoever. There was nothing to fear here. Nothing was going to sneak up on him if he let his guard down and for that knowledge he was grateful. It was a wonderful thing to be safe for once. He'd almost forgotten what that felt like. In fact, he wasn't even sure he'd ever felt that way before.
Yawning again, he flopped down on the mattress and folded his arms beneath his head. Maybe later tonight they could work on writing down pieces of his life. The little things she'd enjoy hearing about before they ventured into more dangerous water.
Letting out a long sigh, he tried not to think of those tidbits that might drive her away but they too decided to come to the forefront of his mind. Memories of killing hundreds of faceless men dancing in his mind's eye. She had never seemed particularly disturbed when he killed demons in the past, which was a small comfort, but killing humans was a different story. Not all of the people he'd killed were in self-defense either. Some were just for his own comfort. When mother died, for example, a handful of men had decided to desecrate her body and so he'd killed them. In his heartbreak, he'd been cruel. The soul inside him broken beyond repair. A tiny child able to take out half a dozen warriors with only his claws. The first man died slowly and painfully – the unfortunate recipient of unskilled battle tactics. With each fallen foe, he became more precise until the last man standing was fortunate enough to receive a quick dead.
And after that, killing had been easy. For most of his life, he'd been every bit the demon that him and his friends had slayed on a daily basis. Killing anyone who crossed his path or glanced at him the wrong way. For a couple years, he even went looking for it. It hadn't taken him long to figure out he was stronger than most. If someone had something he wanted, the easiest way to get it was if they were dead. That same rule applied to demons. It wasn't until he met Kikyo that a shred of his humanity showed its face again. For the first time since Mother died, he actually felt something. She changed him. Saved him.
And then she was punished royally for the favor. Forced to suffer a fate worse than death.
Closing his eyes, he adjusted himself to be more comfortable as he tried to ignore the unpleasant memories. The growing anxiety about how Kagome would react when he did muster up the courage to tell her putting uncomfortable pressure on his chest. Maybe he just shouldn't say anything. Kagome seemed to forget that he wanted to tell her these unpleasantries. Acted like that conversation never happened. Which was probably for the best. Even Kagome's forgiveness had its limits.
Rolling onto his side, he yawned once more as his consciousness ebbed.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
In just a few hours, the subway would be a seething mass of humanity. Everyone from every walk of life shoulder to shoulder, in each other's faces, no personal space, no exceptions. But this early in the morning the small platform looked like the set up for a horror movie complete with that one flickering fluorescent light. Maybe she should have asked Inuyasha to walk with her. It was making her incredibly uncomfortable being here by herself. Sighing, Kagome leaned over the edge of the platform and bounced slightly to see whether the train was coming but there was no sign the train was anywhere nearby. Which irked her to no end even though it wasn't the train's fault that it was running on time instead of early.
Used to be the first day of school was her favorite part of the year. Excited to see her new students and after the winter break, excited to see those students she had come to know again. Now she was dreading having to go in at all. It felt like something was going to happen. Something bad waiting just around the corner. As much as she wanted to place the blame all on Inuyasha, it felt like it was more than that. Something completely unpredictable like a toilet seat falling out of an airplane and slamming into her on its descent back to earth. The plot of Ghostbusters randomly playing out and just like that there would be no Kagome, only Zuul. Or maybe Inuyasha was right and the real-life Godzilla was about to trash the city. In any case, the terrible thing of terribleness was imminent. She knew it. She just knew it.
"Oh thank god," she breathed as the subway train turned around the corner and began pulling up to the station. Well, at least the train was running a few minutes early. That was something.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Good morning Inuyasha," Mama Higurashi greeted warmly as she glanced up from her book, "You're early."
"Sorry," he muttered apologetically as he cringed but Mama Higurashi merely laughed and set her book down.
"Don't apologize. You're always welcome here," she reassured him before furrowing her brow, "Are you alright, dear? You look a little, um, flushed."
"I'm fine," he replied dismissively, "Kagome just has the heat on as high as it goes is all. Says it's too cold outside."
"She always did love her creature comforts," Mama acknowledged sagely before getting to her feet and heading towards the kitchen, "Would you like anything? Tea? Coffee?"
"What's coffee? Is it good?" he asked bemusedly as he followed the matriarch who merely shrugged.
"It's an acquired taste," the older woman admitted, "It's made from brewing a specific type of bean. Rather bitter. To be honest, I prefer tea but Kagome's grandfather has always been more partial to drinking coffee in the morning."
"I think I'll stick with tea," Inuyasha sighed as he sat down at the table and Mama began boiling some water, "So….what exactly am I supposed to be doing today?"
"I'm not sure," Mama replied as she glanced over her shoulder and gave him a soft smile, "I think Grandfather wants to train you to give tours but if you don't feel comfortable doing that, I think he wants you to performance maintenance."
"What do you mean give tours?" he replied uneasily and Mama laughed softly.
"Well, people visit the shrine rather often and want to know the history here," she explained as she opened a cabinet and procured a few tea bags, "You'll learn about everything that happened between when you come from until the present. Then when people come you can answer their questions and explain why this shrine is so special."
"Besides the whole time traveling well thing," he joked weakly as he tried to stamp down his sudden rush of nerves.
"Except the whole well thing, yes," she acknowledged as the kettle began to whistle, "I believe he also wants you to look at some of the antiques we have to make sure there are no other surprises. The flesh eating noh mask and that demonic sword has made Grandfather rather paranoid."
"But not you," Inuyasha observed and Mama shook her head as she began pouring the water.
"I had a daughter who traveled to a dangerous time and fought numerous battles. I never knew whether she would come home or not," Mama began slowly as she presented him with a cup, "My husband died when he was extremely young, and I was extremely pregnant. I choose not to focus on what could have been or what might be. If something does come along that knocks me down, all that matters is that I'm able to get back up again."
Inuyasha blinked a few times at her explanation as he mindlessly sipped the obviously stale tea.
"How did your husband die?" he asked quietly and Mama sighed.
"For a long time, he was sick," she replied after a long moment, "They weren't sure what was wrong with him but it wasn't impacting his ability to function, so he didn't pay the aches and pains any mind. By the time they discovered the cause, it was too late."
"What was wrong with him?" Inuyasha pressed and Mama gave him a sad little smile.
"Have you ever seen someone, in your time, with an unnatural growth that makes them ill?" she asked and Inuyasha furrowed his brow and nodded. On occasion, he had come across that type of thing but hadn't really paid it much mind. Didn't affect him so he never asked any questions. Not that any human – sick or not – would have ever told him anything. They tended to avoid him like the plague and he didn't blame them.
"Sometimes growths like that are inside someone where you can't actually see them," she continued, "You might not even know they're there. Kagome's father had them in his liver."
"Oh" was all he could think to say. Well, that was terrifying. Just randomly having something growing inside you that you couldn't see, that you had no way of knowing about and which just might kill you. Suddenly, he was grateful all he had wrong with him was the, uh….dammit. What had Kagome called it again? Depression?
"So no," Mama concluded with a slightly bitter laugh, "I don't scare easily."
The awkward silence that followed was so thick Inuyasha wasn't sure whether even the Tessaiga would cut it. And that thought reminded him that he had, in fact, forgotten his sword. Again.
"Shit," he groaned as he got up suddenly, "I forgot my sword."
"This time is not as dangerous as yours. There aren't going to be any battles," Mama assured him, "Come. Come. Sit. I'm sure your sword will be there when you get back."
Slowly sitting back down, Inuyasha couldn't help the feeling of dread washing over him as she began explaining the other types of things he might be doing around the shrine. A persistent nagging in the back of his mind telling him that he needed to come clean and go get the damn thing. Kagome might be right that his sword was keeping him balanced. These past few days he'd kept it on him at all times and he, admittedly, had been doing much better. That nap had lasted barely an hour and then he'd rushed out looking for something to do and left the one thing designed to keep him balanced behind.
"….rather boring so if you don't feel like coming some days, we understand," Mama finished with a soft sigh before frowning and giving him a once over, "Are you sure you're feeling alright? I could open a window if you're feeling overheated. Perhaps give you some medicine if you feel out of sorts. They have a pill for everything nowadays."
"Nah I'm fine," he managed as he glanced at the doorframe. He really probably should just go get it and come back. His knee began bouncing at a high rate of speed as he fidgeted in his seat and his heart began beating a little faster than usual. Maybe he should just come out and explain? But then Kagome's mother might realize that he was insane or, at a minimum, highly volatile which may have her turn on him.
"Well…" Kagome's mother began slowly as she set down her cup, "Why don't you go get your sword, hm? Grandfather is at the doctor at the moment, so you have time."
Casting her a nervous glance, he was met with an understanding, somewhat apologetic smile. If he didn't know better, he would've sworn that woman knew something was wrong with him. Even when he was getting better, he wasn't all there and apparently that was written all over his face. As he passed by the mirror hanging by the front door, he cast a quick glance at his reflection before freezing in his tracks. Something was written all over his face alright. Well…that explained why she kept asking if he felt okay, didn't it? Didn't explain why she was so calm though. Maybe she really didn't scare easy. That must've been where Kagome got it from.
"Oh fuck me," he swore softly as he threw open the door and raced as fast as his feet would carry him back home.
