DISCLOSURE STATEMENT: This author has no financial or non-financial relation nor do they possess any right to "Inuyasha: A Feudal Fairy Tale" franchise. Full ownership of all characters is the sole intellectual property of Rumiko Takahashi.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Dissociation is a psychological experience in which people feel disconnected from their sensory experience, sense of self, or personal history. It is usually experienced as a feeling of intense alienation or unreality, in which the person suddenly loses their sense of where they are, who they are, of what they are doing. Dissociation is an experience where you may feel disconnected from yourself and/or your surroundings. Similar to flashbacks, dissociation may range from temporarily losing touch with things that are going on around you, kind of like what happens when you daydream, to having no memories for a prolonged period of time and/or feeling as though you are outside of your body.

Wherever You Will Go


It hadn't hurt. Not at first. When the pain did finally hit, it hit hard. It felt like someone had taken a white-hot iron and branded him with it. Melting flesh and bone, intensifying with each ragged breath. Jarring. Brutal.

And then it was gone. All feeling washing out of him in one fell swoop. Never in his life had he felt such relief. Or such fear.

"...transform?"

"How should I know? You need to be less concerned about me and more concerned about judgment day," a voice that sounded suspiciously like his own echoed in his ears. Distant and almost foreign. Then the world went black. His consciousness locked away in a void. It was pleasant in a way. Here there were no pain. No worries. Just quiet. Calm.

And then the pain flooded back tenfold, and he found himself face down in the dirt.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome's worried voice filtered down into his muddled, agony riddled mind, "Are you awake?"

Inhaling sharply, which was quite a feat seeing as he could barely breathe, gummy eyes forced themselves open and desperately tried to lock onto her face. It was a dream. Well most of it anyway. The pain was real enough.

"Hey," he managed to wheeze before he realized how late it was and he groaned as he rolled onto his back, "Must've dozed off."

"Yeah," Kagome replied hoarsely as she let out a dry sob. That sound had a knot growing in his stomach. Heart faltering in his chest, he tried to take inventory of his body and what he found gave him the answer long before he found the courage to ask the question.

"How long have I been out?"

Her breathing hitched and for a moment, he wasn't sure she was going to answer him. When she finally did, he almost wished she lied.

"A week," she finally whispered, "You've...you've been asleep for a week."

"Wha-"

Closing his eyes, Inuyasha desperately tried to hold his panic and terror at bay. Every muscle in his body began to twitch and tremble as his breathing became shallower. That couldn't be right. It just couldn't. He'd never been out that long. Not once. Even when he'd been injured almost beyond repair.

"Shhhhhhh, it's okay," Kagome soothed as she pressed a cold rag against his forehead. He flinched away. Vaguely he registered the tear sliding down his cheek as a persistent ringing began blaring in his ears and for whatever reason, even behind his closed eyelids, everything suddenly seemed yellow. Every image in his mind's eye tinted as they flickered and raced. The memories were indiscriminate. Focusing on every injury. Every battle. Looking for something, anything to blame but himself. But the truth remained. Somehow this was his fault.

His heart contracted and faltered in his chest and it was becoming increasingly harder to breathe.

"Hey, do you remember..." Kagome cleared her throat, "Do you remember that time when Shippo glued your hand to that statue?"

Startled, Inuyasha swallowed thickly and nodded. His chest heaving as he struggled for air. Where the hell did that come from? Of all the random things to say...

"Why do you think that worked so well? I've always wondered," Kagome continued in a slightly more hopeful tone. Letting out several shuddering breaths, Inuyasha lolled his head towards her and frowned as he thought extremely hard about the incident. Panting heavily, he tried to focus his blurry vision on her as his mouth moved wordlessly.

"I guess," he began in between gasping breaths, "Kid was...kid was stronger. Than...we thought. Got lazy..."

Despite himself, his lips twitched upwards into a sad little smile.

"Got...got lazy with...with us...protecting him...all the time," he concluded hoarsely as his breathing began to even out.

"Is that why you were so hard on him? You thought he was being lazy?" Kagome hummed as she smiled tearfully at him and gently moved the cold cloth against his neck.

"Dunno," he panted as he tried to stave off the growing nausea, "Found him...annoying I guess. Probably should've...should've been nicer."

"We all could've been nicer," Kagome agreed as she scratched lightly at his chest with her unoccupied hand, "After all, I slammed you into the ground all the time. That wasn't very nice."

A piece of the dream came back to him and he sighed.

"You did sit me a lot. For no reason," Inuyasha teased - his throat burning as the words left his lips - before he amended, "Well sometimes. Sometimes I probably deserved it."

When the cold cloth grazed his ear lobe, it finally occurred to him that tonight was his human night. Maybe that was why everything looked off initially. Why that yellow film was there, and his head was swimming. Swallowing thickly again, another tear slid down his cheek as he closed his eyes.

"I'm human," he sighed shakily.

"I was thinking," she began softly - a little more confident than she sounded a few moments before, "Would you be comfortable if I tried to use my powers to try to heal you some?"

"To purify me?" Inuyasha panted as the irrational panic began growing in his chest again despite the knowledge it wouldn't hurt in this form.

"I would never do that," Kagome reassured him as she gripped his hand and squeezed, "Just to heal. While you're human. But if you don't want me to do that, I won't, okay?"

InuYasha already congested nose suddenly felt even more obstructed as he let out a soft sob. The crushing weight of realizing how close he must have been to dying finally registering in his mind. That's why his youkai was surging. Trying to fight whatever had gotten him. Of all the moments. He had been getting better dammit. Finally, finally he had been feeling like himself again and then...

"I was getting better," he whimpered - tears sliding down his cheek as he tightly squeezed her hand in return. With a soft shaky sigh, Kagome kissed his forehead.

"This won't last forever," Kagome hummed in a strained tone, "Getting sick is normal. You just needed rest. Just let me take care of you, okay?"

That was the biggest lie he'd ever heard come out of her mouth, but it'd be a lie of his own to say that it wasn't comforting that she wasn't too worried. Inhaling as deeply as he could to get even a little of her scent, a tangy rust suddenly began to filter into his nose. Muted but there.

"Oh fuck," he choked as he officially forgot how to breathe. He'd hurt her. He had turned and he had hurt her. Faint memories began flickering in his mind, accelerating, and growing in strength. Kagome hadn't been the only person he'd hurt either. Every worst fear was suddenly validated, tumbling unchecked in a mental free fall. Fear froze every sense, every bit of awareness except the scent of blood and those memories. His mind flat lining as he struggled to analyze, calm himself or even cope on a most basic level.

"Breathe Inuyasha," Kagome crooned calmly as she gently laid her hand over his pounding heart, "In."

Her fingers flexed gently before splaying out over his exposed skin. So many things he wasn't aware of. Was he wearing anything? When did this happen? What had happened?

"Out. In. Out," she continued to croon, and his chest arched as he struggled to find air.

"I need...to go..." he tried as his consciousness flickered and his hand shot up to clench hers like a lifeline only to find it missing. Like there was a chunk of time lost to the wind. He was vaguely aware that his cheek now rested against something soft and warm. A steady thrumming against his cheek. The feeling was weirdly soothing, and he tried to focus on it. It was calm and rhythmic. Nostalgic almost. The sound was familiar. Peaceful. Slowly it became easier to breathe and his body sagged as some of the tension left his locked, rigid muscles. Something was putting pressure on his scalp. Massaging gently as a new sound hit his ears. A soft song maybe?

The feeling of skin on skin suddenly registered. Running up and down his back. It was so strange. Like this wasn't his body. It didn't feel like his body. In a strange, impossible way, he felt like he was a bystander watching the scene as it unfolded. Almost like he had just entered a river without the sensation of being wet. Whatever was happening, wasn't happening to him. Somehow that made it easier. To be so detached from the bad that it didn't seem real at all.

And it was becoming easier to breathe. A soft sigh of relief escaped him as some of the pain ebbed as well.

"I love you." she whispered and for some reason, those words had another choked sob escaping his lips. This too was strange. He knew it was him , knew on some level that he had made that sound, but it felt like he was merely narrating this experience. Watching this unfold like the movies he had seen on the television screen. A person trying to describe a dream with the same effectiveness of holding water in your hand.

"I'm going to go," he breathed and then he waited. Perhaps this body would follow that command. Perhaps he was the one in control and was just pulling the strings.

"I would like for you to stay," came her soft reply and this non-demand seemed to push that thought from his mind even as another one replaced it. Truth be told, his muddled mind seemed disconnected. Unable to focus on any one thing and being overwhelmed by the sudden assault of literally everything around him. Cars in the distance. The sound of electricity and water running through the walls. The infuriating sound of a fan that echoed in his human ears. Things he shouldn't be able to hear right now but was hearing anyway. None of it made any sense and he was fast losing the ability to make sense of any of it. His thoughts disconnected and jumbled. Unablr to tell up from down. Right from left. Swirling and twisting and...and then just like that a whoosh of numbness assaulted his senses and he felt disconnected. Objective. Impartial. Whatever she said honestly wouldn't affect him at all. It would've concerned him except it suddenly felt like nothing concerned him. It was almost a relief.

"Would it be okay if I held you for a little bit?" Kagome asked timidly and he nodded. It honestly didn't matter whether she did. Nothing seemed to matter. It was almost like that dream. His mind blissfully blank as he stared unseeing at the world around him. And then a moment later he vomited and suddenly feeling returned full force. Like he was slammed painfully back into his body after floating out in space. That irritating yellow film was back as was the ringing in his ears. As the vomit continued pouring out of his mouth, he felt her flinch and groan, but she didn't move. The only reaction was that her hand merely pressed firmly against his back.

"Would you like to change? Take a bath?" she offered in a forced tone. The body he inhabited did feel rather disgusting. Nodding, he waited.

"Okay, I'm going to change and then I'll help you," she soothed before he suddenly felt something burning him. Searing his veins as his entire body screamed in protest. It was a few moments later he realized the screaming wasn't limited to the unspoken pain.

"Inuyasha? Oh shit I..." he heard her breathe in mild panic even as the pain intensified and then it was gone. And his mind left with it.

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"You have three new messages and four saved messages. Message received January 6th at 1:43 pm. 'Good afternoon. I must have reached your office by mistake. My apologies.'. Do you want to save this message? Message Saved. Message received January 8th at 8:16 pm. 'This is no coincidence. If this truly is a veterinary clinic, do not feel the need to call back. However, if this is a demon run clinic, this is Kanata Higurashi of the Higurashi Shrine. Please come immediately.' Do you want to save this message? Message saved. Message received January 11th at 2:35 am. 'Hi. This...this is KagomeHigurashi. You might not know me but..."

Cursing softly, an ebony haired man gently lowered the phone. It had taken him a moment all those decades ago. To put the pieces together. Kagome had disappeared. Inuyasha had disappeared. All these centuries he'd assumed they died, and he had hated the mutt for it. Truly and fully hated him. That worthless bastard had let Kagome die. Probably offed himself over the guilt. He'd heard rumors over the years. That Inuyasha appeared to be dying in the months before his disappearance. His mind has done mental backflips trying to come up with an explanation and settled on weakness of the spirit. It wasn't until he'd come across a young boy who smelled so much like her. Who looked so much like her. That it finally made sense. Kagome had never been from that era. Her clothes similar to what school children had begun to wear. Her language and behavior so different. Kagome had never died at all.

He had hoped anyway. He had hoped that he could one day see for himself. Had sent his grandson over to engage the young boy and give him a message that one day might be received. Based upon a faded, abused picture he'd found discarded near the village that had been the pair's home a few years after their disappearance. There could be no mistaking who those two characters might be. Who they'd assume drew it.

Eventually, though, as the clock continued ticking, he'd cane to the logical conclusion the drawing had been lost and yet he'd continued paying the bill for this landline. It would be for the best if it never rang. That there would be no reason for someone to go looking. He didn't want to have to be the one to tell them everyone they knew who might be here was dead. The damn plague that had wiped out the majority of demon kind having stolen their child's life. He knew the pain all too well. More of his tribe had been decimated than Naraku could ever have hoped to accomplish. Putting Ayame to rest had been the lowest point of his life. There had been no rhyme or reason to it. Anyone could be affected. It did not discriminate based on species or strength. The disease merely killed some and not others. Every so many decades it'd mutate and come back until they could get it under control again.

He'd assumed the mutt had probably already been infected once he realized what happened. It would explain Inuyasha's sudden disappearance. Why he appeared to be dying. The mutt has been in constant close proximity. Perhaps being a half-demon, it was merely delayed? Or maybe it had been something else. A rumor that was just a rumor. Nothing more. Nothing less. But now he was receiving these calls.

Of all the weeks to have gone on vacation.

Koga sighed heavily again as he glanced around at the bustling clinic. He'd named it after Ayame's nickname for the pups. Simple yet confidence building and intimidating. Used by her family for generations and it did have a nice ring to it. And their slogan had been invented by Ginta's daughter who took the place of beta when her father passed. Perhaps not the most creative but it definitely got the message across.

'Kowai Koinu Clinic. Teaching tricks and treating ticks for all your little Youkai since 1902.'

Now granted, while they did actually have a veterinarian on staff to treat human pets their primary purpose was as a doctor's office for the few thousand y oukai still milking about. In fact, they were one of the foremost, if not the only, clinic of that kind in Japan. It provided care. Was a center for disease control and research. The wolf pack had other businesses, of course. A boarding school in the country. A fishing enterprise in the south. A manufacturing and distribution center for youkai related products. Everything and anything the surviving members of their race needed; the wolf pack made a company to provide. And employ. While the other powerful tribes had been decimated, if not completely annihilated, the wolf pack had survived largely intact. Able to organize those who were left into a modicum of structure and stability. There were still a few rouge youkai but for the most part, they stayed isolated. And yet it wasn't a monopoly. Almost all demons had some stake in the company. All tribes left were on the board of directors for one thing or another. Whatever divided them in the past was left there and the community as a whole profited from their cohesiveness.

Pushing open the swinging door leading to the portion of the clinic reserved for employees, Koga glanced in the office of someone who was also familiar with the family at hand. Someone who had managed to discover and develop a treatment that kept another wave from wiping out those who remained. Entering and closing the door behind him, Koga waited a moment as one of the nurses passed by before speaking.

"What are you doing here? I thought you weren't supposed to be back until..."

"I need you to do a home call. Tonight."

"This late? I was about to go home. Can't it wait until tomorrow?"

"There's risk of an outbreak."

The large mottled half-demon's eyes widened in horror.

"There hasn't been a documented case in over a decade," he breathed before immediately turning back towards his computer and typing furiously, "The last case wasn't even in this region. Do we have this person's records? Were they not vaccinated? Or is this a relapse?"

"We don't have their records, but I can assure you they have not been vaccinated and probably never had it before," Koga laughed darkly, "I think you'll understand once you arrive."

Glancing over his shoulder, Jineji pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"It's not one of those isolationists or an anti-vaxxer is it? I swear every time there..."

"That's not what I meant," the wolf sighed as he moved to sit down in one of the office's chairs, "I think you'll want to take a charm with you."

"I always have mine on me," Jineji clipped back, "Unlike you my appearance is off putting to the majority of the population."

"Well you'll want to take it off once you get there," Koga advised and Jineji huffed as he spun his office chair to face the wolf head on.

"You will tell me what's going on and you will tell me now."