DISCLOSURE STATEMENT: This author has no financial or non-financial relation nor do they possess any right to "Inuyasha: A Feudal Fairy Tale" franchise. Full ownership of all characters is the sole intellectual property of Rumiko Takahashi.
Wherever You Will Go
"That's not possible," Koga sighed in a tired tone as he pinched the bridge of his nose, "Listen I understand he's not…that he's...just put aside the risk of more episodes or even death, we're talking jail time. Actual jail time if he leaves right now. He was only released under the condition he stay in youkai territory. That he continue seeing doctors. He has been labeled a danger to himself and others. They will find him and they will…"
"What if we stay in the woods? By ourselves. Away from everyone," Kagome argued desperately and Koga shook his head.
"There are demons whose job is to find people Kagome. Whose abilities are to find people. It wouldn't matter if you went to the middle of nowhere Russia. They'd find you and extradite you," the aged wolf groaned, "This isn't the human world. Our criminal justice system is a different animal. Our laws are adapted to our needs and one of the laws is that people who have caught the illness that he just recovered from cannot leave doctor's supervision for one year. They cannot leave for one year. Otherwise they will be forcibly detained. Do you understand?"
"There has to be some loophole," she pressed, "Can't we be under supervision and be somewhere else. Anywhere else?"
"Kagome…"
"Do you understand?! He will die if he stays here," she huffed in frustration as a spark of anger flashed in her eye," He. Will. Die."
"You do realize if you're say he's a suicide risk I have to PEC him, right?" Koga sighed heavily and set his jaw making Kagome pale.
"PE…"
"It means he's forcibly detained for at least 72 hours until he's deemed not a risk to himself or others," Koga challenged, "That's what the doctor who I didn't listen to suggested. This is my ass on the line. If Inuyasha really is a suicide risk, if he really is that out of control, I could lose my medical license over that. Over him."
Tears began welling in Kagome's eyes as the realization that she'd made this situation somehow impossibly worse hit her full force.
"He's…I don't think he is," Kagome tried to backpedal shakily, "He just needs to be in the woods. Around nature. The city isn't his cup of tea and it is making him worse. You know what he's used to. You know it's…it's, uh, a culture shock. I just want…I need to give him that. Please."
Koga chewed the inside of his cheek for a moment as he regarded the miko with a sour look on his face.
"Culture shock?" the wolf repeated skeptically and Kagome nodded. Her face drained completely of color she looked like a man waiting to be executed.
Bouncing his leg in an uncharacteristic fashion, Koga continued staring at her with a suspicious expression before shaking his head and pulling out a small notepad.
"In between here and the resort you mentioned, there's a half-way point," Koga sighed heavily as he began scribbling, "Its mainly hunting camps. I own a cabin a little ways up the mountain. Inuyasha should be able to find it by scent. This…"
He held up the piece of paper which apparently was from a prescription pad.
"Is clearance to go there and only there. I'm going to have people pop in at random and if he's ever not there, if his scent is so much as one day stale, I'm going to have him brought back by force. Do you understand?"
"Yes, yes thank…"
"But before you leave, I want to talk to him. As in right after this. Alone," Koga challenged as he held the paper just out of her reach, "I want to clear him. If I think he's too unstable, this deal is off and he's going to be PEC'd."
Kagome paused before nodding slowly and accepting the piece of paper.
"You're going to stay right here," the wolf ordered firmly as he held out his hand, "And give me your phone. I don't want you to interfere with this."
Biting her lip, the bottom of her stomach fell straight out and she fumbled with her purse. Producing her phone, she handed it over and gave Koga an imploring look.
"He needs to leave," she repeated hoarsely, "Please understand that. I'm begging you."
His stern face softened slightly as a sad little smile played on his lips. Moving around his desk, he knelt next to her and took one of her hands.
"Kagome, you know that Inuyasha and I didn't always get along but even though we didn't mate, you have always been a member of my pack," he informed her softly, "Always. I know firsthand what its like to lose the person you love. Ayame died from the illness Inuyasha survived and there isn't a day that goes by where I don't wish I could've saved her. She's the entire reason I'm a doctor now. I will do everything in my power to protect you from suffering the same fate. Even if you hate me for it."
That...that wasn't exactly reassuring. In fact that speech only served to bother her more and a choked sob escaped against her will.
"Please don't. He needs to leave…"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Inuyasha tried to stay calm as he followed Koga through the streets of the city towards what the wolf referred to as a "coffee shop". Although he had said this was just to talk, Inuyasha had a feeling this was going to be like that stupid psychiatrist. Maybe even a plot to set him off. To trigger him. The fact that he'd gotten no warning from Kagome broke his heart. Had she lied to him? Was she trying to send him away? Had she left him and Koga was here to deliver the news? That would be...
"Here it is," Koga announced in a kind tone as he held the door open to a little shop tucked away despondent among the huge buildings that surrounded it. Washed out under the overcast sky, it hunched in itself trying to keep in its warmth in an ominous, unforgiving world.
"I don't want to go here," Inuyasha mumbled as amber eyes dated over the strange building with it's pink boards that had seen better days and weird flaking loopy writing and the way the building somehow looked like it was about to collapse under its own weight. All of that aside, the scent of something burning that whooshed out of the open stained glass door was overpowering and Inuyasha sneezed once just to get the soot out of his nose.
"I know its not the best smelling place," Koga apologized as he gently dragged the skittish half-demon inside. Casting the wolf a weary glance, Inuyasha complied submissively and glanced around. Yeah, somehow this hellhole had achieved being more off putting inside. Fake flowers and butterflies and small diamonds in the ceiling and...and...
It was like a fairy sprite threw up and someone then took that vomit and decorated with it. It was straight up creepy and unsettling. More so because Koga of all people brought him here.
"I know it seems really girly but if memory serves, you like ramen, right?" Koga explained with a reassuring grin, "This coffee shop makes the best in the territory."
"Is that a type of ramen?" Inuyasha mumbled miserably as Koga moved past him and began walking up to the counter, "Coffee I mean. I thought…I thought it was like tea…"
"Coffee is kinda like tea but this place has food here too," Koga replied as he gave the hanyou a reassuring look, "We'll go up to the roof after we order. The smell isn't as bad up there."
Inuyasha nodded as he glanced around at the other demons and humans crammed into the smallish place. None of them seemed to be paying them any attention. Well except one woman who was looking at him with an appreciative stare that sent an unpleasant shiver down his spine.
Glancing at the young woman behind the counter with her peach pink hair, Inuyasha tried to figure out how the hell a demon working in a place that smelled like ass managed to seem so chipper. Everything about her screamed joy of all things as she greeted them.
"Hey, Mina. So we'll have one Tonkotsu Black Garlic Ramen, two cups of jade oolong and…and I guess…" Koga paused as the very young looking demon picked up a small clear cup and began scribbling, "You know what? Two taiyaki."
"Is that all?" the young demon asked in a gratingly chipper tone as she began to scribble on a piece of paper. When Koga nodded, a…a credit card was used, two cups were handed over along with a weird orange triangle and then the wolf was leading him up a flight of stairs to an open garden-like area. An uncomfortable looking rod iron table was soon found along with cold, miserable chairs.
"So…" Koga began as he handed Inuyasha his cup once they were settled, "Kagome said you wanted to go somewhere green."
Blushing, the half-demon accepted the cup and nodded as relief flooded his system. So this whole excursion was a test then. To make sure he...he wouldn't attack anyone. Or something. Purpose unclear.
"The modern world does take some getting used to," Koga replied softly, "But I thought you would've been doing better. Didn't you visit often back then?"
"Yeah but…" Inuyasha swallowed thickly, "But that was different. I could leave you know. I always…I never thought it'd be permanent so I didn't…"
He was struggling to put what he felt into words and so he took a sip of tea and averted his eyes.
"It was temporary," he finally mumbled, "And only for a couple…hours. I mean, I was never here long enough to catch any type of illness or anything. That should tell you a lot."
"So why didn't Kagome come to you?" Koga asked softly, "If you could come here, why couldn't she come to you?"
"She tried," Inuyasha replied in a tight voice as his hand trembled subtly. Not subtly enough however. The wolf chewed the inside of his cheek as his eyes fixated on the motion and Inuyasha continued, "We were apart for…for almost six years. We were just glad it did anything at that point. I'd given up on it."
"Do you wish you could go back?" Koga asked softly and Inuyasha sighed heavily before taking another sip.
"Yes and no," Inuyasha mumbled as he began putting together what the point of this conversation must be. Koga really was testing him to see whether he was insane or not. Wouldn't let Kagome take him anywhere unless he seemed stable enough to leave. And he was doing a piss poor job at proving it.
"Just wish it didn't smell so bad here," Inuyasha tried to chuckle as he took another sip, "All the…the pollution. Don't know how you all do it."
Good for him remembering that word. Kagome would be proud of him. And the way Koga seemed to be studying him made Inuyasha realized he was spot on at his assessment.
"Where would you go? If you had the choice," Koga asked after a long moment before humming appreciatively when a small girl suddenly appeared at the top of the steps with a small tray. A small words of thanks was exchanged before the tray was set down atop the small table at which they were sitting.
"I guess somewhere more what I'm used to," Inuyasha replied carefully as he tried to slow down his racing heart and mind, "Somewhere natural."
It was getting hard to focus his eyes again for some unfathomable reason and he knew he must be blinking more than usual. His chest was heaving and he let out a slow long breath to try to stay in control.
"You know just somewhere more green," he blurted out as his mind stubbornly refused to stay calm, "Somewhere natural like with trees and grass and birds and not so much cement. You know somewhere…different. More like home. And you know what I was hoping to have but not the same obviously and…"
"Inuyasha, look at me."
A quick glance was all the half-demon could muster as he began anxiously bouncing his knee.
"I want you to count with me," Koga asked softly as he reached over and firmly grasped his hand. Inuyasha's mind somehow raced faster. What a strange thing to ask someone losing his marbles! Especially knowing that said person had no education...
Oh god. Was that really the point? To prove he needed to stay here? To prove...
"You know I can't count. I didn't...I didn't go to school like everyone else here. You know that," Inuyasha hissed as his whole body tensed.
"That's okay. I'll count for you. With each word I say I want you to take a deep breath and let it out on the next one," the wolf replied slowly as he began to purposefully count down from forty. Feeling embarrassed, Inuyasha begrudgingly did as instructed lest he let Koga get the better of him until mercifully he felt his mind slow to an acceptable, controllable level. Blinking a few times, Inuyasha furrowed his brow and looked the wolf squarely in the face.
"What the hell was that?" he asked with a slight accusation in his voice, "How did you know I was having a problem? That it would work?"
Inhaling sharply, Inuyasha realized a little too late that he'd just given himself away.
"I'm a doctor. A, uh, healer,"Koga laughed once as he gave the poor boy a cocky smirk, "I went through training on things like this. That and Jineji's wife gave me some pointers."
"Wait, Jineji is married?" Inuyasha asked distractedly and Koga nodded.
"He followed your lead. Married a miko," the wolf informed him, "She's a strange little bird."
"Strange little bird?" Inuyasha asked curiously. The strange casual nature of this entire conversation wasn't lost on him. Whenever he'd met Koga in the past, literally the past, they'd been enemies. Well okay not enemies but competitors. However, now, they each had their respective mates. Koga had his longer and there was nothing to fight over anymore. That must be the difference. That and it was taking all of Inuyasha's energy to stay calm. He didn't have it in him to start a fight right now in any case. Too tired to fight this so he was just going along with whatever.
"Yeah. They met about two hundred years ago? Give or take," Koga laughed softly before he made a strange face, "How did you and Kagome met?"
"My ex pinned me to a tree and left me to die. Kagome set me free," Inuyasha snorted once as he took a sip of tea, "Traveled back in time to do it."
"Man I was an idiot back then," Koga laughed softly, "I had no chance in hell. How can you compete with time traveling destiny?"
Inuyasha smiled faintly and averted his eyes.
"Dunno. The well gave it a try though," Inuyasha mumbled as he pulled the tray closer and eyed the ramen. It smelled delicious but his appetite was basically gone. The thought of food was borderline repulsive but a glance at Koga told him this too was being observed. He had to force it down if he had any chance of leaving here.
"Smells good," he chuckled nervously as he picked up the chopsticks and began playing with the noodles, "I don't…I don't recognize the scent."
"That surprises me. You must've been eating low quality ramen then," Koga laughed but despite the casual sound, his eyes were deadly serious. Yeah, Inuyasha knew he was going to have to force down every bite. He just prayed he didn't puke.
"Um, so why don't…why don't you tell me what you've been up to since I last saw you?" Inuyasha asked in his best attempt to maintain polite conversation. All things considered he was doing relatively well. Surprisingly well. However he was pulling this off was a miracle in and of itself. Now he just had to eat.
Wrinkling his nose, he took a bite and immediately fought not to gag. Coughing lightly, he gave Koga a forced closed lip smile and swallowed.
"Your doctor said you haven't been eating," Koga stated more than asked – his tone soft and non-accusatory, "And you look very thin."
"Just…just since I was sick haven't…haven't been that hungry," Inuyasha had to swallow repeatedly to keep the bile down before reluctantly picking up more noodles, "I…"
"I can prescribe some medication if you've been nauseous," Koga offered hesitantly, "Don't eat if you're going to puke."
Inuyasha wilted in relief as he nodded gratefully.
"Thanks. Just…just didn't want you to think…think I'm insane," Inuyasha tried awkwardly, "I mean I know I am but…but didn't want…I want to get out of here, ya know. Just…Kagome said we could leave but then you showed up."
Flinching at the word vomit that had just escaped his lips, Inuyasha set down the chopsticks and averted his eyes. Why had he said that? Now Koga was probably going to think he was putting on a brave face and pretending he was okay, which to be fair he was, but now…
"I told her she could take you to my hunting cabin," Koga informed him with a soft sigh, "But I need you to promise me something."
Wide amber eyes whipped in the wolf's direction.
"Don't hurt yourself and accept help when offered. Can you promise me that?" Koga demanded bluntly. Inuyasha nodded slowly.
"Jineji's daughter-in-law is going to come visit you both in a few days. That's Jineji's son's wife, okay?," the wolf continued slowly - enunciating every word, "Mei is not a doctor yet. She's still in school. But you can trust her. And I want Kagome to meet with her as well. For the next couple of months, Mei is going to visit you once a week. On the day called Saturday. But if you so much as miss one session I'll have to bring you back here. If you hurt her, I will personally kill you. Do you understand me?"
Inuyasha nodded again as hope swelled in his heart. Kagome convinced Koga to let him leave? She hadn't lied to him after all. This was just a condition. And Kagome could just seal his arms down or something if it was a bad day. An hour of being contained for a lifetime of freedom was nothing. Nothing at all.
"You'll also need to gain some weight. I'm going to prescribe some powders and medication that should help with that," Koga continued, "If you keep losing weight, if you refuse to eat, I will bring you back. Do you understand?"
Inuyasha nodded excitedly as a true grin spread on his lips. He could do that. That was a thing he could do.
"You know you're not doing well," Koga added softly as he tapped a few fingers against his own temple, "In here. You know you're not. If you feel yourself getting worse, you need to tell Kagome. You need to tell me. There are things we can try that might help. I need you to promise me that you'll accept that help."
"I promise. Anything," Inuyasha breathed as he fought the strange urge to hug the wolf, "I'll do anything you want me to."
"Okay then," Koga replied uneasily as he gave the half-demon a worried once over, "Then I'll approve you going. Don't make me regret this decision."
"No, no, no," Inuyasha promised as his mind quickly picked up speed and a manic grin made his face light up like the fourth of July, "Anything. I'll do it. I'm so, so grateful Koga you have no idea how much…"
The wolf cringed and leaned back slightly as he stared at Inuyasha like he'd grown a second head before forcing a reassuring smile on his face and clearing his throat.
"Breathe Inuyasha. Slow down when you're talking."
At some point, right around the time when Inuyasha first answered the hotel room door, Koga had to accept something he wasn't sure Kagome had even realized yet. This wasn't Inuyasha. It was and it wasn't. This was not the man who had faced down Naraku and lived his life on pure adrenaline fueled confidence. That Inuyasha had died however many centuries ago and this individual was someone else entirely. A shell of that man. Whatever facts and knowledge Koga had previously been operating under were about as relevant as watching the first season of American Idol. The general premise still existed and that was about it. This was not the man he knew. The man Kagome first loved. Inuyasha was now someone else entirely and no amount of distance or treatment would ever change him back. There was no reset button. No magical cure. This wouldn't just magically go away. There could be no assuming the reactions were normal for Inuyasha because this wasn't Inuyasha.
It was clear that while Koga had known of the diagnosis, he'd been skeptical. Thinking that maybe the doctors were misreading Inuyasha's normal behavior combined with depression but he was man enough to admit how very wrong he was. And this was just the manic-depression. The trauma aspect wasn't even at play right now and Koga cringed internally at how bad that must be. He'd seen the damage. What happened when this poor man was triggered.
And that realization hurt the wolf more than he'd ever admit out loud. They might not have gotten along back then but he'd always respected the mutt. His heart broke a little imagining what Kagome's reaction would be once she realized the cold hard truth. Once she accepted it.
But he imagined she'd go to her grave in denial and thinking Inuyasha would come back to her.
"Okay, okay, breathing," Inuyasha laughed softly as he tried to collect himself, "Sorry I just...I got excited you know?"
Koga gave Inuyasha a very forced smile that was laced with pity.
"I know Inuyasha," he mumbled as he pushed the food back towards the giddy hanyou, "I know."
