DISCLOSURE STATEMENT: This author has no financial or non-financial relation nor do they possess any right to "Inuyasha: A Feudal Fairy Tale" franchise. Full ownership of all characters is the sole intellectual property of Rumiko Takahashi.

Wherever You Will Go


Inuyasha let out a shuddering breath as he desperately tried to get his heart rate under control. It beat so fast it was almost choking him and his hands were trembling just enough to be visible to the naked eye. There was no reason for it either but while his mind had already come to that conclusion, more or less, it seemed like his body had taken on a mind of its own. Which made no sense. This was what he wanted wasn't it? The air here was clean. He could run uninhibited. Kagome even found some job doing online something or another. It had been two months since they came here and every day he'd been feeling better. The new woman they'd had him see was actually helpful. Had real world advice and would stop when she realized he was uncomfortable with a topic. Actually helped him come to grips with the fact that there was nothing more he could've done to get back here. That it was out of his and Kagome's control. That revelation had actually brought a tear to his eye and for about a week he'd been able to breathe easier.

And then today hit him like a bag of hammers. Letting out another shuddering breath, Inuyasha held one hand lazily over his heart like somehow he could slow it down by pressing on it. His knee bounced at such a rate of speed no human could possibly match it.

And now Kagome was staring at him like she knew something was wrong and that only made his heart beat that much faster.

"Hey, come here," the former miko whispered as she gently reached for his hand and began leading him to the bedroom, "Let's take a nap."

Inuyasha laughed softly and shook his head.

"I'm not a child Kagome," he teased weakly as he gave her a somewhat strained smile, "I just…I just need to do those breathing exercises."

"We can do them together, hn?" she offered and Inuyasha bit his lip to hold back the shuddering breath that wanted to escape, "Come lay down with me."

Knowing that fighting her would be a lost cause, Inuyasha accepted his fate and unsteadily got to his feet to follow her. It did help when she held him. It was almost funny to imagine how the old him would've reacted to this. Laying his head on her chest and snuggling close while she held him so tight. But he wouldn't lie. There was something about the pressure and closeness to her body that helped him calm down.

Settled and awkwardly spooning her side, Inuyasha tried to focus on Kagome rather than the pointless anxiety coursing through his veins like adrenaline. It was so hard to describe what was wrong. It wasn't fear. Fear would've been easier to express. It was…it was like some nameless instinct had been triggered for some unknown reason.

"I can feel your heart racing through my shirt," Kagome hummed as the hand on his back pushed him slightly closer – the other hand gently stroking his arm, "Do you know what happened?"

Inuyasha slowly shook his head as another shuddering breath escaped his lips. It was so, so hard to control his breathing. An unwelcome vision – almost a feeling – filled his mind of a rope being gently placed around his neck invaded his mind– filling him with a phantom sense of relief which made him gasp softly and hold Kagome that much tighter. That type of thought had been coming more and more frequently lately. A tick in the back of his mind at the slightest inconvenience telling him to kill himself on loop but he stubbornly ignored it. Hadn't even mentioned it to anyone. That was the type of thing that would have him being drug back to that stupid hospital. And yet those thoughts were like a vine slowly worming their way through his mind growing in strength and then shying away in the same breath. Idly he wondered whether this was how mother felt before she'd done the unthinkable. That…that wasn't good if that was the case.

But he was stronger than his mother. He could fight it. Those thoughts were just that. They weren't real and while, yes, death would provide relief from this hell he lived in, it wasn't the type of escape he wanted. This was temporary. It would get better. Kagome promised it would get better and he desperately wanted to believe her so he did.

"I'm not sure," he admitted softly, "I've been feeling fine and then this morning I…I couldn't breathe."

"Maybe we've been in the house too long," Kagome offered as she gently ran her fingers through his hair, "We could go into town if you want. Eat dinner out or just walk around?"

Chewing the inside of his cheek, Inuyasha let out another shuddering breath and tried to think about whether he wanted to do that or not. It was true they hadn't really left the house – which had been nice. It was calm and peaceful and predictable which was something that had been sorely lacking up until now. Maybe that had been the problem. It would be nice to know the problem had never been only in his mind.

"Doesn't she come by today? I can't miss the appointments ya know," Inuyasha asked softly as he buried his face into Kagome's neck.

"We can wait until after you're done," Kagome offered, "Or I can call her and we can meet her and Jineji for dinner."

Letting out another shaky breath, Inuyasha tried to listen to Kagome's steadying breathing and follow its pattern.

"I don't think…" he began unsteadily before he swallowed thickly and tried again, "I think if I'm…I'm having problems we should stay here. What…what was the word she used? Over…overstim…"

"Overstimulated," Kagome offered thoughtfully before humming and nodding like something had occurred to her, "We watched a movie last night. Maybe that's it."

"Maybe," Inuyasha mumbled before he furrowed his brow, "I watched the news this morning."

"The news?" Kagome asked, "I don't remember hearing the TV."

"Put it on the lowest volume," he replied somewhat sheepishly, "Thought it'd be good to learn about this world since I live here and shit."

"What was on the news?" Kagome yawned softly as she rested her cheek against the top of his head and continued running her fingers through his hair.

"Talked about the weather," Inuyasha replied softly as his claws began tracing patterns along her side, "Something about imports. A…a comer…commercial for some type of food."

"I never like commercials. They're annoying, don't you think?"

Inuyasha laughed once and nodded. Already his heart was slowing though his breathing was not doing the same.

"What time is Mei supposed to be here?" Inuyasha mumbled tiredly as the final remnants of whatever the hell this was mercifully faded. Now that it had, though, he felt completely wiped out. His lips twitched upwards as Kagome began gently stroked one ear.

"Not until after lunch," Kagome replied and Inuyasha nodded in understanding. She always came by after lunch mainly to make sure he had eaten. Which he had been. Kinda. For sure he'd been eating like a bird – little bits here and there - but he was gaining weight so the powers that be didn't make too much of a fuss about it.

"You got somewhere to be?" he asked next as he let more of his body weight rest against her and got into a more comfortable position. He felt Kagome shake her head as she played with tendrils of his hair.

"Are you tired?"

Inuyasha nodded as he let his eyelids flutter closed, "Just a little."

"Me too," she breathed – her fingers moving to gently glide up and down his back, "I'll set an…"

"No alarms," Inuyasha groaned as he pulled back just enough to pout up at her, "I cannot deal with the alarms."

Kagome bit her lip to keep from laughing.

"You've never liked them," she admitted, "Broke my clock that one time."

"Like I said can't deal with the alarms," he hummed before plopping back down and gathering her to him, "I'll hear Mei when she comes. I just…just need to close my eyes for a…"

Since when did he yawn this much, Inuyasha thought bemusedly as his consciousness started to ebb. Guess he hadn't really been sleeping.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mei had all the grace and poise of a three-legged spider. Her movements choppy and swaying like she couldn't quite balance right. Her limbs seemed to be in some kind of dispute with her brain as to which direction they should go in and as such she stumbled most of the time instead of moving with fluidity and softness. The soft pink feathers adorning the wings on her back always seemed out of sorts and her violently pink hair was the color of Pepto Bismal. A bird youkai supposedly from a different continent who'd come here for school and met Jineji's son so she stayed. Obviously she didn't quite belong and that was reassuring. That, and it didn't hurt that she was kind and sweet and had a way about her that made everything seem easier.

"Did you work on the assignments I gave you?" Mei asked quietly as she strangely brushed the chair before sitting, "If not, we can work on it together. No worries."

Inuyasha still hadn't admitted that he had the reading and writing prowess of a child so he usually waited to finish these assignments with the girl. She was surprisingly easy to work with which was saying something.

"Okay lets see," she began before biting her lip and laughing once as she accepted the piece of paper being presented to her, "Oh drat, I forgot what I gave you. Of course I did. I would lose my head if it wasn't attached. Okay lets see…"

She scanned the paper as Inuyasha patiently waited for her to begin. Unlike the asshole who shall not be named, Mei wasn't pretentious and never acted like she was somehow better than him. In fact, she admitted her faults as readily as one would comment on the weather.

"Okay so this exercise was about…" she muttered quietly before smiling up at him, "It's a stupid one. Why don't we just talk today and maybe if we have time we'll do it?"

Inuyasha nodded gratefully as he accepted the paper back and placed it beside him on the couch.

"Alright so last time I think we talked about your relationship with your brother, right?" Mei asked as she flipped through her notes, "And you were going to think about seeing Rin. So have you decided whether to see her or not?"

Inuyasha cringed and shrugged as he began playing with his hands.

"I dunno. I guess I should but I never even talked to her back then. She was a child," Inuyasha cleared his throat, "It just seems like…"

He trailed off and his leg began to bounce anxiously. His heart rate increasing as he tried to say what he wanted to say without offending anyone.

"Like she was groomed," Mei supplied as she gave him an understanding smile and made a little note, "No, no I agree it does seem that way from a distance. I thought the same thing when I first heard their story."

"But you don't now," Inuyasha stated more than asked and Mei shrugged.

"To each their own. Its not my life," she hummed as she leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees, "You don't have to meet Rin if you don't want to. That's not a crime."

"I do and I don't," he began slowly, "I…well you know Kagome is human too."

Mei nodded.

"So she'll die before me," Inuyasha supplied and Mei furrowed her brow at the tone of his voice.

"There is a way you know. I can bring some brochures next week if you want," she offered kindly before suddenly stretching out one of her winds with an apologetic grimace, "Sorry. Sorry. Cramp."

Her wing stretched for a moment longer before she wrinkled her nose and her dark red eyes focused on him once more.

"So you want to meet Rin to ask questions but other than that, you have no interest," Mei concluded thoughtfully and Inuyasha nodded, "Has Kagome said you need to see her?"

Inuyasha continued to play with his hands instead of responding.

"What has she said?" Mei pressed gently and Inuyasha sighed.

"She hasn't really said anything one way or another," he admitted, "Except that she seemed interested that Rin was still alive. I think for the same reason."

"Well I'll definitely bring those brochures," Mei laughed as she made a little note and starred it. Smiling softly, she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and cocked her head to the side.

"You said last time that you were feeling better but you seem a little anxious today," she observed in that warm way only she could achieve.

Inuyasha subtly nodded his head and chewed the inside of his cheek.

"That's okay," Mei reassured him, "You know sometimes I still get anxious being here. I'm from a country called Chile and its very different here. I'm still a stranger in a foreign land. Much like you."

Inuyasha's lips twitched upwards and he let out a long breath.

"It felt…it wasn't because of anything," he began slowly as he tried to describe what happened, "Heart was beating fast and I couldn't breathe."

"Okay," Mei hummed thoughtfully, "Do you have any guesses why that would be? A bad dream maybe?"

"We watched a movie last night," he offered with a long sigh, "Ghostbusters I think was the name."

"That's a good movie," Mei commented as she tilted her head to the side, "But I can see why it might have caused some anxiety. Ghosts and goblins and gods are what you're used to in your time but here not so much. Maybe it got your heckles up."

"My what now?"

"Instincts," she amended, "You know, maybe your mind was trying to figure out if it needed to be worried or not."

Inuyasha considered this for a moment and shrugged.

"There wasn't any reason to it," he continued, "It just…hit me, ya know?"

"Have you been keeping up with your mood journal?" Mei asked as she made a scribble and Inuyasha made out a little doodle of a ghost which amused him.

"I…" Inuyasha began before he shook his head and bit the bullet. The last thing he wanted was to get in trouble for not complying and he had an explanation as to why he had failed to do this stupid assignment yet again.

"If you haven't figured it out yet, I can't really write. Or read."

"Do you know what a happy face looks like?" Mei asked as she glanced up from her notebook before turning it so he could see and drawing a small doodle, "Like that. Or a frown." She drew the same, "For sad. A lightning bolt." She doodled, "Or really whatever you want to draw to express yourself. It doesn't have to be words."

Inuyasha smiled faintly before glancing up at her notes. They were simple and while he wasn't the best reader, he could read well enough to know that none of her notes were especially damning. It was also nice to know that she wasn't judging him for his lack of education. Not even Kagome really knew. Or if she did, she never mentioned it.

"I'll try that I guess," Inuyasha tried to meet her half-way. He hated the damn mood journal, but he'd do anything to not get taken away again. One separation was bad enough. He wouldn't survive a second.

"Its been nice weather, have you been running a lot lately?"

The conversation continued pleasantly as Mei got him to talk and made her little notes and doodles. Inuyasha couldn't explain why it was so easy to talk to her. Couldn't even begin to fathom why that might be but he had a feeling it might be something her youkai can do. Her ability. To project calm and ease. Or she really just was that nice.

Either way, Inuyasha was man enough to admit it did help to talk to her and that gave him some hope that maybe he wasn't as crazy as everyone thought he was. Maybe it was just…pent up frustration or something and once he got it out he'd be fine. He'd be fine.