A/N: My loves, I'm extremely sorry for the delay, life got a little hard unexpectedly. Long story short, I didn't have the time or the energy to write. But I'm back! I won't make any promises regarding updates certain days of the week, but I'll try my hardest to finish this story.
I hope that you're still interested. Enjoy and let me know what you think!
Solitude of Love
"Tell him yes. Even if you are dying of fear, even if you are sorry later, because whatever you do, you will be sorry the rest of your life if you say no." Gabriel García Márquez
Chapter 7
As soon as Anne entered Henry's chambers she felt every possible emotion weighing her down, it was as if she had entered a timeless space, the memories consumed her, every smell and every color took her back to their marriage. The soft fabrics of the chairs where they used to sit and play cards, the silver of the goblets of wine that more than once they smashed against the wall during a fight, the sound of the fire that had kept their naked bodies warm after nights of passionate love. She felt dizzy, she was trapped in a hurricane of memories, the only thing that brought her out of it was the voice in her head that told her to stay calm, she had been afraid of this very same thing, she new what to expect and how to handle it. She took a deep breath and kept control of her emotions, she could deal with them later, but now she had to be smarter than Henry. It wasn't that she had to stay strong so that he wouldn't see her weakness, it was that she had to stay strong for herself, because she was her own worst enemy. Thankfully, Henry was filling two goblets of wine and didn't see her face, if he saw her eyes he'd knew, but when he turned around and offered her to sit she had calmed herself enough to appear in control, her mind was still reeling, but she concentrated on the present moment and cut right to the chase, she took a drink and said "George told me that you wanted to talk about Elizabeth's betrothal"
Henry looked at her but she couldn't quite figure out his expression, he was smiling, but she didn't see the Henry she had gotten to know over the years, she saw the boy she met when she was just 'Perseverance', she saw the confidence, and yet she saw the doubt in his eyes, and she realized, he too had been transported in time, and she saw his smile for what it was, a smile he had never directed at her, a sad smile. Because yes, he had been taken back in time when she entered his rooms, but he had been brought back to reality too, to their reality. And with that, he went back to his usual, charming self, and said "Ah yes, I just have to look into some details and we can talk about it. How long are you planning on staying?"
She knew he was tricking her into a power balance, because even if it was true that if she left without his approval the one to suffer would be Elizabeth, if they ended up agreeing on a suitor for her, which, in theory, meant that she didn't have anything to do in Whitehall, he had requested her presence and he was her King, she couldn't just decide when to leave. So she fought the urge to roll her eyes at his wits and said "For as long as Your Majesty desires"
Henry struggled not to laugh in front of her, he noticed the way her voice betrayed her uneasiness at referring to him as her King, not because she didn't believe he was or something like that, but because he had been to her much more than just her King, the title added to the distance between them, and he knew that if it wasn't for that, she wouldn't hesitate to tell him that she knew of his intentions. He wasn't stupid, he knew Anne had it all figured out. At first, he had brought up the subject of Elizabeth's betrothal because he truly felt that Anne and Elizabeth deserved it, but as he saw the nature of the relationship between Anne and Charles, and realized that she was out of his reach, he figured that he could use to his advantage his proposition of finding a husband for their daughter, and since she was the first thing in Anne's mind, she had her hands tied, she couldn't refuse him. Oh, how he loved playing with her, she never gave in, he wondered what would her answers be if he broke the King-Subject bond and let them be just Henry-Anne, so he laughed lightly and said "Please Anne, call me Henry. We know each other too well to be using titles"
Anne knew this game, he was playing games with her mind, he was giving her the freedom of being just Anne to just Henry. But it was no longer about a larger scheme, that right there was about Henry having fun, and she was going to give him fun, show him that no one matched his wit as she did, not even his most trusted men, especially not them. She planned to bring him back to reality, they were no longer in the days of their courtship, they no longer were just Anne and Henry, so she laughed and with a cheeky smile replied "Well Henry, how's your wife?"
He was caught out of guard for a second, but quickly recovered and answered "She's fine. Just yesterday she told me that she has been craving quail, just like she did when she was pregnant with Edward" He expected her to bring up their marriage, he certainly did not expect her to ask about his marriage to her successor. And even though he was annoyed at being proven wrong, he couldn't deny that it was smart of her, he had given her the liberty to ask any question, to say whatever she wanted, and she chose the part of his life that tied them, but didn't involve them per se, it involved the divorce, it involved their marriage, but she didn't have to say any of it, and he couldn't bring it up either. He wanted to feel impressed with her, but he couldn't, he knew what he was getting into, bringing her back to Court and messing with her. That's why he gave her a taste of her own medicine, he hadn't been planning in sharing with anyone what Jane had told him, not yet, but his pride and the fact that Anne took him by surprise got the best of him, he knew it would hurt her, but he couldn't stop himself. Yet he almost regretted doing so when he saw the sadness in her eyes, she masked it very well, very fast, but he still saw it.
Jane was pregnant again. Anne forced herself not to look away, she kept her eyes glued to his, she couldn't show him the sadness that overtook her. That was supposed to be her life, she was supposed to be Henry's wife, she was supposed to be the mother of his children. She didn't regret the divorce and God knew that she'd never marry Henry again, or have anything to do with him, but she couldn't help but feel that someone else was living her life, and she wondered if Katherine felt the same way when she took her place, when she took her life. She thanked God that she hadn't suffered her predecessor's fate, but it still hurt to think that someone else had what had been hers. Either way, she smiled softly at Henry, she was happy for him, she really was, a child was always a blessing, her hurt wasn't directed at it or at him, neither at Jane, she had made peace with what happened a long time ago, she was just hurt, she couldn't imagine a time when being told those sort of news wouldn't hurt, she had loved Henry, she'll probably always will, and seeing him having a relationship with someone else like the one he had with her meant that she was replaceable, that what they had hadn't been as special as she used to think, she guessed that knowing that would always tug at her heartstrings. Besides, she asked about Jane, she couldn't really hold against him whatever he shared, so she let it be and, in all honesty, said "Congratulations"
He looked down and thanked her, but he needed to get them out of their misery, he couldn't let her dwell on the news, and he didn't want to think much about them either, God knew how much he had wanted for Anne to give him sons, but it didn't work out like that. So he didn't bother with what could've been, instead he grabbed the cards on top of the table and said "Up for a match?"
Anne smiled, he knew she wasn't one to refuse any kind of game, she said "Always" and so the match began.
At first they didn't really talk, they just played, but as the game progressed they felt more at ease with the other, the atmosphere changed into a more comfortable one and they started talking about the rebellion. Anne didn't know much, except for what Charles had told her and the rumors that reached Pembroke, so Henry told her what was really going on and they discussed it for a while. At some point Henry said "What would you do? Cromwell is set on fighting them, and I am too, but I don't think it's the right time. Of course they have to pay for disobeying their King, but not yet"
Anne pondered for a moment and replied "I agree with you, if you attack them first then they'll put the blame on you, but if they start the fight and then you act, it'll be seen as a logical response, you'll be defending yourself. Although, how much do you know of the length of their intentions? I'm sure there's a group of radicals that want England to be reconciled to the Roman Catholic Church, but they're just that, a group. I think that maybe the rest just want their lands and their monasteries put to good use. Also, you have to remember that most of them grew up in catholic fate, if you don't help them understand the reform and what it means, they'll keep thinking of it as something evil, and they'll link their economic troubles to it"
Henry couldn't help the smile that graced his face, he hadn't thought of it that way, but it was logical, this people's lives had changed in seconds and no one had told them that it was for their own benefit, and now the radicals that remained loyal to Katherine were filling people's heads with nonsense about the reform. He stopped playing, looked at Anne and said "Can't you be a member of my Privy Council? I swear you're smarter than all those men"
They laughed, but they were both brought back to reality with the sound of Thomas Seymour's voice telling the King that Cromwell had urgent news of the rebellion. The spell was broken. Without noticing, they had gone back in time again, for when they were talking and playing it had felt like old times, when they were planning on getting married, but that wasn't the reality anymore. Now, his wife was pregnant and she was in love with another man.
The Court was buzzing, everyone already knew that Anne Boleyn was in the Kings chambers, but most importantly, everyone knew that she had knocked on the door herself and the King had let her in, despite his request of not wanting to be bothered. Everyone wanted to know what was she doing there, especially after so long. But there was one person that wanted to know more than the rest, Charles Brandon.
When Henry requested for him and Edward to guard his door and not let anyone in, the least thing he expected was to see Anne arrive, and when she told Edward Seymour that Henry had requested her presence he felt his stomach drop, the fact that she knocked on Henry's door didn't help, he knew she didn't want to come back to court, he was worried for her, he couldn't begin to imagine what she felt being back, he knew it scared the life out of her and he wanted to protect her, but Anne Boleyn swore she didn't need protecting, and he was at a loss, he knew why Henry wanted her there, he wanted her for him, but he didn't know which excuse he had used to get her to come. He also knew that Anne was scared that people would want to destroy her, but he couldn't defend her, it would only fuel the rumors of their romance, and that's the last thing they needed. Right now, Anne had to deal with the shocked courtiers and with Henry, not an easy task at all, but it calmed him that George had sent him a reassuring glace as soon as he and Anne arrived at Henry's door, he would've asked him about the turn of events, but since Edward was there they couldn't talk. He and Edward stayed there throughout the day, Henry hadn't dismissed them once Anne arrived, he guessed that he wanted Charles to feel jealous of the fact that they were alone in his rooms, and maybe he did it to Edward too so that he would report it back to his family, because lately the Seymours were acting as if they were untouchable and Charles knew that Henry hated when people didn't realize that they were as powerful as he wanted them to be and as much as he let them be, in Henry's mind, it wasn't up to them how powerful they were, and he could bring them down just as easily as he raised them.
He was brought out of his thoughts by Cromwell arriving at the door of the King's rooms with Thomas Seymour trailing behind him, impatiently and a little out of breath Cromwell said "Where's His Majesty? According to our spies the rebels have gathered arms in a village near the east of Yorkshire"
Thomas didn't hesitate to report the news through the door, he knew he had to resort to drastic measures to ensure Henry would listen to them, they needed to take action fast, all he and Cromwell had worked for was in danger. A few minutes after he did that, Henry went to the door and told the guard to let all of them in. Once they entered, Charles, who was keeping a close eye on Cromwell, noticed that the Secretary went pale when he saw Anne sitting comfortably drinking wine in the King's rooms, with cards scattered over the table. Proving Charles' suspicions, Henry hadn't told anyone about his intentions of bringing Anne back to Court.
Anne almost laughed at Cromwell's expression, to take him out of his misery she decided to talk to him first, rather than let him approach her. Without standing from her chair she said "Secretary"
Cromwell opted for a simple "Madam" as he sat down along with Charles and the brothers, Henry had returned to his seat as soon as they got in. The atmosphere had changed drastically, everyone was tense, but the reasons for everyone's mood were different. Cromwell and the Seymours weren't comfortable with Anne being there, but they both knew that they couldn't say anything to Henry, they didn't know why he had brought her back, but it could only mean bad news for them if he was infatuated with her again. Charles was angry at Henry for his attempts at pursuing Anne once again, but he also was trying to keep calm, he knew he needed to support Anne and not do anything that could harm her or their relationship, he couldn't anger Henry and he had to keep his eyes open for whatever the Seymours or Cromwell could plan to do, after all, they were Anne's strongest enemies, and so they were his too. Unlike the others, whose main concern was Anne, Henry's mindset had shifted dramatically, and he desperately wanted to know of Cromwell's findings about the rebellion. Once they were all seated he looked at Cromwell with impatience written all over his face and said "Well? I'm waiting"
"Your Majesty, I have information that in a village near the east of Yorkshire the rebels have gathered an important supply of all sorts of arms. This definitely proves that they not only disagree with our ideas, but are willing to go to the extent of harming the crown. I think that"
Cromwell was cut off by Anne scoffing and rolling her eyes. She noticed that he had gone silent and Henry was looking at her expectantly, she said "What do you suggest? Send our troops there to kill them all? That would only make us their enemies. The crown has to show them that there are no us and them, that the King wants what's best for them"
Thomas was the first to answer, irritation laced through his voice when he said "Madam, as the Master Secretary said, the fact that they're hoarding arms proves that they don't want a negotiation, they want see blood shed"
Anne was getting angrier by the second "According to who?! Maybe they're stocking arms because they fear our troops and what the King might do to them for rebelling against him and they're plan to defend themselves! And even if some of them want blood shed, who's to say that we should just kill them? I'm not denying the fact that there are radicals amongst them and even that their leaders might be the most radical of them all, but killing them not the solution. Ideologically, what are we trying to achieve with the reform then?" She knew she should stay out of it, Cromwell and the Seymours probably wanted an armed conflict because the more peaceful solutions would involve them losing all the money they had gained illegally through the destruction of the religious houses. But she couldn't keep her mouth shut, now with an issue that meant so much to her, she wasn't a reformer because she wanted to be Queen or because she wanted to enrich herself, she really believed in the reform, and now that she had seen the good it had meant to the people of Pembroke, she was willing to do whatever she could to ensure that the rest of England would benefit from it too.
Edward Seymour was the first to talk, he looked at Anne and sighed "I agree with you, Madam. Taking drastic measures could prove to work against us, if the matter of the arms was urgent our spies would have said so. I don't think the rebels mean harm right away, which gives us time to find out their motives" although all of them could hear the strain in his voice, presumably at having to agree with Anne, none of them thought that he was lying. Anne found this particularly interesting, she was sure that the brothers had, somehow, shared with Cromwell the money of the destruction of the monasteries. But now, it seemed like she had been wrong in her assumptions, at least about Edward. Thomas impatience with wanting to fight the rebels seemed suspicious to her, but maybe he was like that, less in control than his brother. Either way, she made a mental note to keep an eye out on both brothers.
Henry looked at all the others and said "Anne's right. Cromwell, ask the spies to provide us with information weekly and ensure that they find out the reasons for the hoarding of arms. We'll take this to the Privy Council and discuss possible ways for us to talk matters with the rebels" Anne couldn't help but smile, not because Henry had agreed that she was right, but because that was the Henry she knew. Of course he could be childish and the whole court was used to his tantrums, but she knew that he was a man that didn't go ahead with a plan or an idea unless he really believed in it.
Anne noticed that both Cromwell and Thomas seemed rather annoyed and almost mad, but they masked it well. Cromwell stood up from his chair, said "Of course, Your Majesty" and left. Henry looked at Charles and the brothers and they followed suit. Once left alone with Anne he told her "I'm sure you must be tired, I arranged for you to stay in the chambers were your family used to reside"
'Before we got a divorce' Anne added in her mind.
After a pause Henry continued "Your ladies are already there waiting for you, and tomorrow I'll hold a feast in your honor-"
Anne interrupted him before he could finish "Henry, that's not necessary"
"It's not, but I want to do it" he said, his tone firmer than before but not unkind.
Anne started to stand up and said "Alright. Then I bid you goodnight"
He smiled at her and replied "Goodnight Anne" and with that, she left his chambers.
Anne was glad she knew this castle like the back of her hand, it allowed her to take the less traveled hall towards her rooms, she didn't really feel like seeing any courtiers. As she was walking she realized that Henry probably told one of his men to inform her ladies where to take her stuff, after all, they had stayed behind when she and George went to the King, for they were collecting the things from the carriages.
When she entered the room she saw Charles was sitting in one of the chairs in front of the fire, reading a book while he waited for her with food on the table. She couldn't help the smile that graced her lips, he looked so peaceful, so at ease, she went to him and rubbed his cheek, breaking his concentration, he looked up from the book and smiled widely when he saw her, he put the book on the table, stood up, grabbed her waist and hugged her as tight as he could, she wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest. After a few minutes of staying like that, breathing each other in, he said "I missed you"
Anne removed her head from his chest, grabbed his face and kissed him. She had missed him just as much, the last few days had been extremely stressful and in his arms she felt at peace, finally. Once they stopped kissing she told him "what are you doing here?" Her face filled with confusion.
Charles smiled and said "I should be asking you that" which made them both laugh. But he knew what she was asking, how on earth had he entered her rooms? To which he answered with a simple "Nan and Madge love me" as he smiled cheekily at her and winked.
Anne laughed at his antics and answered "Hopefully they won't take you from me"
Charles rubbed her cheek as he said "I won't let anyone, ever, take me away from you. I swear" After a few moments, he took his hand away from her cheek, glanced at the table and said "I'm sure you must be hungry, shall we?" Anne just nodded in response. They sat and started eating. They both knew that the peace they were enjoying in that moment wouldn't last long, and yet, they were unaware of the dangers that lay ahead of them.
A/N: I know! I know! Not a lot of action, but this chapter is very important in terms of setting the rest of the plot. What was that at the end about our loves being in danger?! I promise more of Anne/Charles in the next chapter.
