After long, careful consideration, Akaashi made the decision that Bokuto would never find out about his crush.
Ever.
It was the rational decision, Akaashi reminded himself. Akaashi was the future Queen, Bokuto was a first year University student already busy with advanced classes. Telling him about a ridiculous crush would just distract him from his University classes and Akaashi vowed he would never make any part of Bokuto's life harder.
Plus, there was the timing to consider, of course! Akaashi had to leave for the capital in a little over seven months. It would be….irresponsible, yes, irresponsible to try to begin a relationship just when he should be focusing on his future job as a Cards' monarch.
Of course, all of those considerations were even assuming Bokuto felt the same way which was….
An answer that Akaashi was trying very hard not to consider in either direction.
So, there it was. Akaashi wouldn't tell him.
Not because he was scared! Because it was the perfectly, long considered, measured, careful, and rational decision.
ooooooo
Bokuto was going to kill him.
"Keiji!"
Akaashi's heart did that momentary beat of cardiac arrest that he still hadn't quite figured out how to stop whenever he heard his name from Bokuto's lips.
Bokuto beamed at him and Akaashi melted a bit in relief that Bokuto seemed to be feeling much better than he was last week.
That alone was probably worth Akaashi's early onset heart issues.
"Bokuto," Akaashi replied steadily before Bokuto nearly broke his composure again by pulling forward on Akaashi's hand and Akaashi swore he felt a jolt of electricity even with the fabric of the glove.
"Come on," Bokuto cajoled, completely oblivious as he pulled Akaashi further away from the University and to the cliffs. "There's something I want to show you!"
"Bokuto," Akaashi tried. "You have class soon."
"Please!" Bokuto turned big gold eyes on him. "Come on, you'll like it. I promise! Please, Keiji!"
As if Akaashi had ever been able to say no to that. Even before the crush.
"Alright," Akaashi let himself be pulled. "We just need to keep an eye on the time."
"Okay." Bokuto grinned. "I snuck out to the village last night."
Akaashi hummed. He knew vaguely there was a mining village reasonably close to this University branch. Some of the older students tended to wander there for the local taverns when they wanted a change from the University ones.
It didn't particularly surprise Akaashi that Bokuto would prefer the warmer atmosphere of a mining town to the polished night life of the University bars.
"I'm sure that was nice," he said simply.
"It was," Bokuto agreed before pausing, "it felt...it reminded me a lot of the ones back home-it's a lot bigger, though. Anyway, that's not the point, Keiji! Did you know they had shops down there?"
Honestly, Akaashi wasn't even completely sure how big the town was.
"I didn't."
"Right!" Bokuto waved his free hand dismissively. "I mean it's nothing like the craft stores here, sure. More just for the locals or part time kind of things they do on the side; but, they had a woodworking shop, Keiji! Woodworking!"
Akaashi fought back a smile, just listening to Bokuto's excitement without feeling the need to interrupt it more than necessary. "Woodworking?"
"Yeah!" Bokuto's eyes shone. "The craft-master there is really, really good, too! Definitely more than just a hobby! I think she used to be a miner full time; but, she says the caves got too bad for her knees. Which sucks, of course, because cave climbing is awesome; but, she didn't seem to be that upset about it and she is like crazy good at carving so I guess it all worked out, right?"
"It's good she has something she enjoys," Akaashi answered and Bokuto smiled at him.
"Exactly!"
Bokuto blushed suddenly, stopping as he dropped Akaashi's hand. Akaashi took the time to mourn the loss even though it seemed like they had gotten to whatever clearing Bokuto had wanted to show him.
"Um," Bokuto said shyly. "So, she kinda had this...this one project she said she'd been working on for ages and, well, it's beautiful and I told her that and, then, well after she saw me use it, she said I should have it because no one's been able to use it that much since her daughter got married and moved a few towns over, so….," His blush went deeper, "I mean I paid her for it, of course, but how could I not take it after that? And, Keiji, it's beautiful! It's so beautiful! Wait until you see!"
Akaashi smiled encouragingly, coming to sit on a larger rock as he propped his head on his hands to watch Bokuto. "And what is it?"
"Er, r-right. Wait here."
Bokuto's blush didn't get better; but, he did finally move, reaching down behind a crop of rocks and pulling out…
"Oh," Akaashi said softly.
The lute looked elegant in Bokuto's hands-a golden, honey color with gorgeous carvings in the center, clearly well-loved by its previous owners but in a way that only added to its charm rather than diminishing it.
"It is beautiful," Akaashi said, noting the hesitant look on Bokuto's face. "Do you play?"
"Um, yeah," Bokuto held the instrument carefully. "I used to, I mean. I left my old lute back home, I didn't think...I didn't want to get distracted." He swallowed, looking up at him and Akaashi felt his breath catch. "Do you want to hear it?"
"Of course," Akaashi said and if Bokuto noticed how breathless his voice had gotten than at least, he didn't comment.
Bokuto smiled as he held the lute up, fingerless gloves finally meeting the strings as he started to play.
He stumbled at first before the gestures smoothed, the chords lilting and impossibly sweet as they drifted along the rush of the waves and Akaashi's heart drumming hard in his chest.
Here was a truth. Akaashi had been studying more or less every possible academic subject since he was five years old. He learned to play various instruments with all the perfunctory precision that was impressive only because it spoke to the long hours of practice put behind it. Akaashi played with a technical style of grace; but, he knew he would never have the joy and spirit of an actual musician.
Bokuto was a musician. He played like he was putting his very soul into it even as he changed from simple chord progression to more complicated melody. His fingers moved along the strings with a swift, barely contained excitement that spoke of a love of the music that begged to be shared and Akaashi felt himself falling a little more into the trance with every beat.
Bokuto looked up, grinning when he saw Akaashi watching him and Akaashi smiled back instinctively, laughing when Bokuto threw him a wink and began to hum along to the movement of his fingers.
A love song, Akaashi thought or maybe hoped. He's playing me a love song.
Oh, Fates, this crush really was going to kill him, wasn't it?"
The song finally came to an end either a second or an eternity later and Bokuto cleared his throat, looking through his lashes at Akaashi. "What do you think?"
"Beautiful," Akaashi said before he could help himself and he sincerely hoped Bokuto would believe he only meant the song.
Bokuto's blush bloomed back on his cheeks. "Thanks, Keiji! I can...um, play more for you if you like?"
Akaashi nodded before a thought struck him. "Doesn't it get hard to play with the gloves?"
He blinked before shrugging. "Not really, lots of practice. Besides keeping the fingers free's the really important part."
Akaashi hummed before adding. "You're good at this."
Amazing, Lovely, Gorgeous, but that was probably too telling if Akaashi wanted to survive the afternoon.
"You could do it professionally even," Akaashi said instead.
Bokuto laughed. "Don't tell anyone; but, I thought about it. Back when I was a kid and Dad first started teaching me. I wanted to be a traveling bard-like in the old fairy tales, that fought off dragons and lulled away fairies with the power of song." He scratched the side of his nose. "Really, I guess I just thought it would be a cool way to get to see the continent. Not just Clubs, but the rest of the Card Kingdoms. Fates, Futakuchi and Hyakuzawa, even Nohebi's gotta have a few favorite songs, right?"
"I can't imagine they wouldn't," Akaashi said, smiling as he watched Bokuto fiddle with the lute's pegs.
"Not that I would have ever actually done it!" Bokuto looked up, suddenly in alarm. "I love Clubs way, way too much to ever stay away for that long!"
Akaashi laughed, hiding the sound in the sleeves of his shirt.
"Don't worry," Akaashi teased. "Even as Clubs' future Queen, I suppose I can understand wanting a bit of travel."
Bokuto's alarm faded off into a light smile. He looked back at the lute. "Still probably wouldn't be a great idea. All those stories about famous bards always had them traveling alone. I'd hate that. What's the point in seeing the world if you don't have anyone to show it to?"
It didn't seem like Bokuto was really expecting an answer so Akaashi didn't give him one, too caught up in the way Bokuto's hands steadied for another song as he started to play again.
And in that moment, Akaashi really, really wanted to show Bokuto the world.
ooooooo
"Are you humming?!"
Akaashi stopped immediately, fighting the way his cheeks reddened.
"I don't know what you're talking about," he commented lightly, refusing to meet Konoha's eyes.
"You are! Ooh, and you're blushing, too," the future Jack all but crowed, bending down to look at Akaashi in utter fascination. "I don't think I've ever heard you hum before! What's the song?"
"Just an old mining song," Akaashi replied before nearly biting his tongue in realizing his mistake.
"A mining song!" Konoha hopped up on the desk in front of him. "And where'd you hear that, Keiji?"
"A student."
"The student? The one who wants to throw you parties!"
Akaashi rolled his eyes. "His name's Bokuto."
"Bokuto," Konoha repeated, sounding out the syllables and just hearing the name made Akaashi's heart beat ridiculously, a song catching again through his head.
Akaashi resolutely looked down to avoid Konoha's stare.
"Fates," the other swore in awe. "You have a crush on him! Don't you, Keiji?!"
Unfortunately, Akaashi's long since learned that certain things are pointless to deny when it comes to Konoha.
"It doesn't matter," Akaashi said instead, "I'm not planning on telling him."
Konoha's smile dropped. "Awww, Keiji, why? This is the most interesting thing that's happened all year!"
Akaashi huffed. "He's concentrating on his studies."
"Bleh, that's a terrible excuse," he accused. "Have you seen half of the students on campus? By the state of the bars, I'd think the University started teaching labs for applied reproductive biology."
"Bokuto's different," Akaashi insisted firmly. "He's putting everything in his studies, I'm not going to distract him."
"Working hard, eh?" Konoha waggled his eyebrows and Akaashi gave him a look. Finally, Konoha sighed. "This is the first crush I've ever seen you have and you're really not going to do anything with it?"
"No."
Konoha sighed again, tossing back his head to look at the ceiling. "Ridiculous, Keiji, absolutely ridiculous!"
ooooooo
Despite Konoha's words, Akaashi felt absolutely sure he made the right decision in ignoring his feelings.
"What do you think about this one, Keiji?"
A lot of the time, Akaashi felt like the only songs Bokuto ever played were love songs. He couldn't be absolutely sure, of course. Most of the songs Akaashi was simply unfamiliar with and without the words really he supposed they could be about anything.
Yet, there was something about the melody there, the way that Bokuto looked deeply down at the chords then smiled brightly at Akaashi as the notes faded away, that made Akaashi really want them to be love songs.
It did utterly atrocious things to Akaashi's ability to breathe.
"Beautiful," Akaashi answered as he always did when Bokuto finished playing.
"It was my mom's favorite," Bokuto said, tuning the pegs of the lute as he set up for the next song. "Okay, tell me about this one then. It's an old one."
He played the first few chords and with a jolt, Akaashi realized he knew it. Knew it, well enough that the lyrics started echoing in his head a second before Bokuto started humming.
And it was definitely a love song, an old one, something that the palace minstrels played late into the night when most of the party goers were deep in their cups or swaying away to find someplace quieter.
Akaashi knew this song.
Fates, I really shouldn't do this, was the last thing Akaashi thought before he started singing, softer voice slowly getting louder until it met with the tune of Bokuto's lute.
Akaashi had never been trained as a singer. If asked, he'd probably say he was decent. Definitely not as good as Bokuto's playing.
But, at the warm grin on Bokuto's face as he looked up, Akaashi found that he couldn't quite regret it.
Akaashi felt...a bit less than absolutely sure he made the right decision in ignoring his feelings.
ooooooo
Akaashi might have gone a little bit overboard.
He acknowledged this fact as he poured over his twelfth book of musical compilations for the day, finger running along the lines as he tried to place it to the notes of a lute before pouring over the lyrics to try to commit them to memory.
Look, there was a logic behind this. A reasoning, a very good and perfect polished and overall just...just abundantly Queen-like reason that Akaashi needed to memorize every possible lyric of tavern songs that the entire library held.
Akaashi was going to be Queen, right? And a Queen should know all about their people, especially the type of things that made them happy. Like music. There! A perfectly normal reason.
….And if the fact remained that Bokuto still mainly knew tavern songs and the old homey type of tunes generally preferred in mining towns while Akaashi barely knew the ones played at palace festivals, then….well….It was just that Akaashi had noted that Bokuto tended to smile more when Akaashi sung along. And it was the really nice smile, a bit wider than his just-out-of-lessons smile and a bit softer than his going-to-climb-the-cliffs smile.
Absently, Akaashi wondered when he'd started to classify Bokuto's smiles.
Akaashi's hand stalled on the page. Besides, maybe-in the back, unexamined part of his mind-there was a small hope that maybe he'd stumble across a duet that they both knew. And then, maybe, he'd get to hear Bokuto sing and that would be…
"Akaashi?"
Akaashi bolted up, remembering in the last second to school his expression into something more placid.
"Queen Satoshi," he greeted, standing and inclining his head slightly as was fitting for a public setting.
Satoshi nodded, looking somewhat bemused, as he took in Akaashi's choice of reading. "Reviewing your music training, Akaashi? I never knew you were that interested."
"No," Akaashi admitted, struggling momentarily for an appropriately neutral answer. "I simply….found the books fitting."
Satoshi frowned. "For the festival?"
"Yes, Your Highness," Akaashi agreed, seizing on the excuse with a previously unknown relief because honestly, he'd rather say anything than discuss his highly embarrassing crush to the closest thing he had to a father figure.
"Ah," Satoshi's frown switched to an indulgent brand of confusion, "it is...kind of you to look into music for the festival, Akaashi; but, I'm sure the University minstrels have it covered." His eyebrow raised a bit further as he explained the book. "And I'm...rather unsure they would be interested in tavern songs for an event like the Clubs' fall festival."
"I know they sometimes like to experiment," Akaashi added quickly.
Satoshi laughed. "Maybe not that experimental."
Akaashi didn't say anything and Satoshi smiled warmly.
"It is a nice idea, Akaashi," his teacher said, moving to the stacks and pausing before selecting a book. "Here, why don't you try this one? They're classical Clubs' compositions from the Ninth Reign. I'm sure if you find a favorite, we can convince the minstrels to add it in for the festival."
"Thank you," Akaashi said, taking the book at stacking it carefully on top of the rest of his pile so Satoshi hopefully wouldn't notice that they were all songs completely unsuited for formal festivals.
"I'm glad to see you're looking forward to the festival, Akaashi," Satoshi commended him. "It's one of the most important days of your life; it's good that you're preparing."
Akaashi smiled back, swallowing down the guilt that he'd barely thought of the coronation in weeks.
ooooooo
The final chill of the winter had finally faded away to the warm new life of spring when Akaashi felt his life shift abruptly once again for the third time that year.
Unlike seeing a man plummet down a cliff or having his heart beat out of rhythm watching Bokuto fail to catch his breath, this change started deceptively casual in a way that Akaashi really hadn't expected to eventually spell calamity.
It started with Bokuto rooting through Akaashi's bag to try to find the apples Akaashi had stored earlier.
"Huh," Bokuto said and Akaashi glanced over, unaware that this was the warning toll to his personal apocalypse. "I didn't know you were a fan of the classics, Keiji?"
In his hands was the music book Satoshi had handed him a week before that Akaashi was abashed to realize he'd barely looked at more than a quick skim that day in the library.
"Enough," Akaashi said absently even though he didn't really have an opinion.
He supposed he liked classics well enough. He'd heard them often at festivals and didn't have any real complaints.
Bokuto made a face, turning down to tune his lute. "Sorry, Keiji, I don't really know any traditional songs."
"That's fine," Akaashi reassured quickly. "It was just a passing interest, really."
Bokuto cocked his head. "Then, what kind of music do you like, Keiji?"
Akaashi paused. Until a month ago, he could honestly say he didn't really have any strong opinions on music taste. And still, he didn't really have any idea of preference except...
"I like the kind of music you play," Akaashi deflected.
His worry melted away as Bokuto immediately brightened.
"Really," Bokuto asked, warm sunlit gold meeting Akaashi's eyes and he felt his breath catch.
"Of course."
Bokuto paused suddenly, looking down at his lute as his lips pursed in contemplation. Finally, he looked back up, leaning in and lowering his voice even though Akaashi was absolutely sure they were the only ones around for half a mile.
"Hey, Keiji," Bokuto's eyes burned into his, "what if...what if I've got kind of an idea and I think you'll really, really like it but it might involve sneaking out of the University tonight?"
There was no need to sneak out of the University. There wasn't a curfew, there weren't guards, students came and went as they pleased anyway. The only way Akaashi could possibly get into trouble is with Satoshi because staying out late was definitely not future Queen behavior.
Still, Akaashi felt his pulse beat a little faster with the thrill of anticipation.
"Where are we going," he asked, voice barely over a whisper.
Bokuto grinned. "It's a surprise, Keiji!"
Oh...this was probably another bad idea.
"Okay," Akaashi agreed.
ooooooo
There was no need to sneak out of the University.
That didn't mean Akaashi wasn't enjoying it anyway.
"Shh, shh," Bokuto grinned at him, eyes bright and gloved hand tangled up in Akaashi's as he pulled them down the next hall.
Akaashi heard the light footsteps of the University's more night prone masters and he ducked down in his hood, hiding a grin as Bokuto pressed them both into the wall.
"You think they're gone," Bokuto asked, barely a hand breadth away from Akaashi's face.
"Probably should wait another minute," Akaashi whispered back, slightly breathless.
"Good call," Bokuto agreed and they waited together until the footsteps couldn't possibly be anywhere close. "Come on!"
Bokuto pulled them along and Akaashi tried hard not to feel disappointed that they were almost out of the University grounds with far less opportunities to duck into small, confined spaces.
….well, there was always sneaking back.
Bokuto's laugh got louder the further they got from the University, cut off smiles erupting into full body laughter as he practically skipped forward in front of Akaashi.
"We're free!" He threw up his arms, spinning on the grassy path leading from the buildings. "We did it!"
"We did." Akaashi rolled his eyes, hoping the dark hid exactly how wide his smile had gotten.
Bokuto threw him a wink. "So, do you think this counts as kidnapping Clubs' Queen?"
"Not Queen yet," Akaashi reminded.
"Princess, then?"
Akaashi swatted at his arm.
Bokuto laughed. "Fine, fine, but kidnapping Clubs' Soon-To-Be Queen doesn't sound as good."
"It was a willing kidnapping anyway so I don't think it counts," Akaashi mused, blushing as Bokuto's smile grew. Akaashi cleared his throat. "Where are you taking me?"
"It's a surprise, Keiji! Didn't I tell you it was a surprise?"
Akaashi bumped his shoulder against his. "Won't you at least tell me where said surprise is?"
Bokuto smirked mischievously, not saying a word.
"I take it back. Maybe this is a kidnapping, then," Akaashi teased. "You know I'm fairly sure the punishment for kidnapping royalty's still hanging."
Bokuto dropped back to intertwine his hand with Akaashi's even though Akaashi was pretty certain by now which direction they were heading.
Bokuto fake pouted. "Grant me a pardon, please, my Queen?"
Oh, Akaashi drew in a quick breath.
My Queen...Akaashi found he really liked hearing that from Bokuto...it was...different than how anyone else said it.
Akaashi hummed, trying to settle his heart rate. "I might be able to talk them down to a simple beheading."
Bokuto nodded. "Fair enough. I don't use my head much anyway. Probably do you more good."
"Now, that can't be true," he corrected gently.
"Yeah? Well, alright then. Has to be a different punishment." Bokuto considered for a second. "I've got it! How about draw and quartering! It's perfect!"
Akaashi scrunched up his nose. "Perfect how?"
"That way you can always have a piece of me!"
Akaashi couldn't stop it. He threw back his head and laughed, sound echoing along the hills.
"That's disgusting," he said, smiling helplessly.
"Guess you'll just have to keep me then." Bokuto squeezed his hand.
Akaashi huffed out a small breath to keep his heart from beating out of his chest.
"I suppose I'll manage."
Akaashi already an idea; but, seeing the lights of the mining town up ahead was somehow still just as exciting. Perhaps it was more the company.
They stopped right outside the edges of the town, still cloaked mostly in shadow as Bokuto turned to fiddle with Akaashi's hood.
"Have to make sure you're hidden," Bokuto murmured, face inches away from Akaashi, "can't have you seen when we're this close."
Akaashi smiled. "Would it really be so bad? Most everyone outside of University masters wouldn't recognize me anyway."
"Oh, it would be terrible," Bokuto confirmed cheerfully. "Besides, it has nothing to do with you being future Queen. Something far worse would happen if they caught sight of you."
Bokuto's hand moved to the side of Akaashi's hood and Akaashi felt the brushed fabric of his gloves right next to his cheek.
Akaashi hummed, leaning into the glove ever so slightly. "That terrible, huh? And what could that possibly be?"
Bokuto met his eyes, lips turned up in one of his softest smiles.
"They'd be too distracted," Bokuto said and maybe Akaashi was imagining the way his voice had gotten lower. "It would be awful, Keiji, they'd see you and then everyone in the room would be so distracted watching you, they'd forget everything they were doing and we'd miss the reason I brought you here. Complete disaster, Keiji, I promise you. Far better to hide your face."
Akaashi….Akaashi really wanted to kiss him.
"You're exaggerating," Akaashi said instead, voice barely above a whisper.
Bokuto still hadn't moved away. Akaashi didn't want him to.
"I really don't think I am." Bokuto leaned forward just a little bit further."Trust me, Keiji, you're very distracting and in all the best ways, too."
Akaashi felt like he was on fire. Like every possible feeling he'd ever had about Bokuto had suddenly been bottled up and caged under his skin and that a single spark was all it would take to light it into an inferno. Most terrifying, Akaashi was increasingly unsure that wasn't what he wanted.
And then Bokuto leaned back, clearing his throat sheepishly, and Akaashi's next breath hit him like a punch to the gut, feeling entirely unmoored.
Akaashi had a feeling he wasn't controlling this whole crush thing as well as he should've been.
"We should hurry if we don't want to be late." Bokuto grabbed his hand, pulling Akaashi forward into the light of the town.
Akaashi struggled to find his next words. "You still haven't told me where exactly we're going."
"It's a surprise!"
ooooooo
They ended up in one of the local taverns.
Honestly, it wasn't much as far as taverns go-small like the town itself and maybe just slightly nicer than Akaashi would expect from any established town.
The people there clearly knew each other and a few gave slight nods in recognition to Bokuto and far more curious ones at Akaashi, both of which Bokuto returned with a grin before pulling Akaashi to a small table near the back.
All in all, Akaashi felt more than a little bit confused at all the excitement Bokuto was clearly showing for the place. Not that Akaashi exactly felt the need to complain.
"So, why here," Akaashi asked finally after Bokuto had returned to the table, carrying two drinks in his hands.
Bokuto winked, sliding a glass over to Akaashi. "Wait for it! The music's about to start!"
It was only then that Akaashi noticed the slight clearing in the middle of the tavern, right next to the bar and devoid of everything except a single stool and a young man sitting on top of it and tuning a lyre. The young man seemed different than the rest of the bar patrons, finer clothes made for libraries unlike the work clothes of the town even if the way he chatted with the barmaids clearly showed they were familiar.
Akaashi frowned, brow knitting in confusion, even as he turned to see Bokuto all but beaming.
"Wait," he urged Akaashi quietly, "just wait until you hear the music."
So, Akaashi did, turning to watch the makeshift stage as the man looked to be finishing his final bit of tuning.
And then, the first chord hit followed by another, turning and mending together until finally a swift melody emerged, twining around the laughter of the bar like it belonged there.
Akaashi's frown deepened as the song whispered against his ear, tugging at familiarity even though he was sure he'd never heard this bar song in his life.
He looked to Bokuto, only to see him already watching Akaashi.
"Keep listening," he instructed.
The almost familiar song kept going, picking up speed and complexity as the young man started singing alongside it.
"Oh," Akaashi said faintly as the first lyrics hit him, mouth opening in wonder. "Oh!"
Bokuto laughed, keeping his voice low and quiet not to be heard over the music. "It's great, isn't it?"
"He's playing Clubs' classical compositions," Akaashi realized in fascination, "...or almost at least. How's he doing that with just a lyre?"
"He's from the University," Bokuto said, moving closer to whisper into Akaashi's ear and Akaashi fought down a shiver. "Apparently, he's doing his master's work on bard music and he's trying to find ways to convert the classics in ways to be played on a single instrument so more of the mining towns can hear them."
"That's amazing," Akaashi murmured back, watching as the musician transitioned without missing a beat into a more lively version of one of Clubs' newer compositions.
As the music continued, moving easily between the transformed classics with interspersed familiar tunes that the rest of the bar patrons sung along to, Akaashi found himself leaning further into Bokuto's side.
"I knew you'd like it here," Bokuto said to him in a quiet break and Akaashi could feel the way the words rumbled through his chest.
"I do," Akaashi replied truthfully.
But, he didn't think it was the bar or even the music that made him feel like he never wanted to leave.
ooooooo
It was far too late at night, late enough that the night was soon to be chased away by morning and Akaashi knew that they both had early classes; but….
Bokuto was humming lightly, laying next to him on dew wet grass, and Akaashi thought things like classes could wait.
That everything else could wait just for a few more moments.
"Do you think I could learn to play them on the lute," Bokuto asked into the air.
"Yes," Akaashi said followed by a yawn.
Sounding far more awake, Bokuto huffed out a laugh. "At least, wait and think about it, Keiji. Those chord changes were hard."
"You can do it," Akaashi said just as easily, the dark of the night making his tongue too loose. "You can do anything."
Bokuto laughed again, propping up on one arm to look down at Akaashi. "Wow, Keiji, did you sneak a few more drinks at the bar when I wasn't looking?"
"It's the truth." Akaashi smiled sleepily up at him. "Anything."
He couldn't quite tell through the dark; but, something about the way the shadows hit Bokuto's face made Akaashi think absently that the other might be blushing.
"I can't do anything, Keiji," Bokuto said softly. "I'd be too scared."
"Then, I'll protect you."
Bokuto didn't say anything and Akaashi yawned again, his hand reaching out without his say so to fiddle at Bokuto's colar until it laid flat and then just staying to rest there because he couldn't quite find a good enough reason to move it.
"It's getting late," Bokuto said finally."We should probably sneak you back in so you can get some sleep before classes."
"Hmm," he replied not quite in agreement; but, he didn't protest either as Bokuto pulled him up, a warm arm around his shoulders to steady him.
Akaashi looked up at him, feeling slightly more awake now that he was back on his feet.
Akaashi thought Bokuto looked beautiful with the moonlight dancing across the pale parts of his hair, contrasting with the gold of his eyes and shining like precious metal. For a moment, under the stars and the moon, it made him look otherworldly-like one of those great heroes from the ballads come to life to woo a Queen.
It fits him, Akaashi thought wryly.
Half the time, Akaashi had trouble believing he was real, too.
"Thank you," Akaashi said in the quiet. "For tonight; I enjoyed it."
A smile lit up Bokuto's face, making it look more real but not any less striking.
"Of course!" Bokuto rubbed the back of his head. "Actually, I was really relieved when you told me what music you liked. Especially when I saw the classic music book, too!"
"Relieved," he asked.
Bokuto nodded, taking Akaashi's hand as they moved back to the University. "Yeah, sometimes I just kind of felt bad, you know? I mean you're so nice to me. You listen to me play and you help me with my classes and you let me talk about climbing and mining and, well, basically everything I like to do that I feel bad we don't do enough of the stuff you like. That's why I was excited to see the music book!"
Akaashi didn't know why but he found that his heart was beating faster suddenly in a way that he didn't particularly care for. He didn't say that the only reason the music book had been there was that he had forgotten it after Satoshi gave it to him.
It had nothing to do with Akaashi's preferences.
Bokuto squeezed his hand, drawing Akaashi's attention back to a smiling face.
"So, how about it, Keiji," Bokuto continued. "What other things do you like?"
And Akaashi….
Akaashi drew a blank.
ooooooo
"Keiji, what are you doing," Konoha asked, sounding completely and utterly bewildered.
Akaashi ignored him, frowning at ink stained hands and a technically perfect inked painting of a bird, wings outstretched in aborted flight.
It was a fine painting. Akaashi had been working on it for the better part of the morning.
Akaashi didn't enjoy it.
"No, seriously," Konoha came to stand beside him. "Keiji. What. Are. You. Doing?"
"Painting," Akaashi answered succinctly.
"You hate painting," Konoha said. "Especially ink wash painting. You hate the way it stains your hands."
Akaashi's frown deepened.
That was the thing, Akaashi realized. He didn't hate painting. Sure, he found the ink stains annoying in passing; but, he didn't hate it.
He just didn't like it either. There was no joy in it.
In fact, it had been days and Akaashi still couldn't name with certainty a single thing that he did like. Nor one thing he hated.
Days and he couldn't think of one single thing that he had strong opinions on either way. Couldn't think of the last time he'd had a strong opinion, much less expressed it.
And it was driving him insane.
"Keiji," Konoha said cautiously, "are you okay?"
"I'm fine," he said sharply, completely on reflex, and the neutrality of the word only served to annoy him further.
Akaashi sighed, closing his eyes and breathing deeply through his nose.
"I don't have anything I like," Akaashi confessed.
Konoha blinked. "What?"
Akaashi didn't bother repeating himself, focusing on his hands and magic as he drew the ink away.
"Wait, is that it," Konoha pressed. "Are you….are you bored?"
"I'm not bored," he replied. "I just can't think of a single thing that I really, really like to do. Or that I hate, actually." Akaashi shook his head. "Fates, I can't even think of what my favorite food is. What's my favorite song? Favorite book? What kind of person can't even think of a favorite book?" He paused. "I don't know if I've ever had something that's my favorite."
"When did this happen," Konoha asked, coming to sit on the desk in front of him.
Akaashi looked at his hands, clean of the ink once staining them. "Bokuto asked me what I liked and I didn't know what to tell him."
"Ah." Konoha took his time before continuing. "You have things you like, Keiji."
Akaashi raised an eyebrow. "Do I?"
"Clubs, magic, Satoshi," Konoha snorted. "Me, unless I've been severely misreading this friendship."
Akaashi rolled his eyes. "That's different."
"How so?"
"You're people," he said. "Of course, I like certain people. And my magic is part of me and Clubs is my duty, they don't count. They're not…"
"Not what?"
"Interests," he sighed again, feeling listless and dull and, suddenly, very lost. "Akinori, I don't think I have any interests. Any...any hobbies, things I do for fun. I think I'm just…."
Konoha leaned forward, waiting for Akaashi to find his words.
"I'm boring," he finished.
Konoha laughed, loud and sharp before he covered his mouth to try to contain it.
Akaashi glared. "It's not funny."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to laugh; but, I mean….it kind of is funny." Konoha shook his head fondly. "Keiji, you're not boring. You're the future Queen of Clubs, that's like the least boring thing you could possibly be!"
Akaashi opened his mouth before realizing he didn't know what to say.
Konoha clapped him on the back.
"Believe me, Keiji," Konoha smiled, "you're worrying for nothing."
ooooooo
At night, Akaashi found himself once again laying in his bed and staring up at the ceiling.
The future Queen of Clubs.
For once, Akaashi found those words terrifying for a completely different reason than failing his people.
Akaashi didn't….he didn't….he thought that maybe he didn't quite like being defined just by his title. He didn't….
Akaashi didn't know what he wanted. He didn't know what he liked. He didn't know what he hated. For the first time in his life, he wondered who he really was. What he was. Because if there was nothing there that defined him except for a title and a Mark on his chest then what could he possibly be? How could he stand with people like Bokuto looking to him to lead if Akaashi himself didn't even know what he was.
He didn't….
Akaashi found his hands shaking and he couldn't exactly say why.
All he knew was that he felt lost, sinking into polite smiles and meaningless words for so long that he wasn't sure what was behind them anymore.
ooooooo
Akaashi was not in a good mood the next day.
He was tired and irritated with a gnawing sense of emptiness in his chest that wouldn't go away.
And then there were the voices like a rock in his shoe and an ill fitting tunic.
"The King, did you hear?"
Akaashi didn't recognize the voices this time. A couple of the older students, probably apprentices but not yet masters. Frankly, at the moment, Akaashi couldn't bother to care.
"Yes!" crowed the other student. "I heard he walked right out of Master Osamu's lesson and didn't come back for hours! I can't believe it. If it was me, Osamu would've skinned me alive."
The first leaned in. "That's not all? Did you hear why he left?"
"What?"
"Apparently, he and Osamu got caught in an argument. Chihiro heard it all the way through the door!"
"With Osamu?" The second gasped. "That's terrifying! What was it about?"
"Some small thing about mining involvement with the early University founding." The student waved a hand dismissively. "The important thing is that apparently the King kept arguing! Even with Master Osamu!"
"But the King's always so quiet in lessons." The second paused. "Do you think…"
"Who knows? Our new King certainly is strange, isn't he? In fact-"
That was all Akaashi could stand, striding out into the hallway to level the students with an impressive stare.
Both students froze mid-conversation.
"Don't you two have better things to do than gossip," Akaashi asked, tone even and coolly polite.
"W-We're sorry, Your Highn-or, um," the first student cut off, being pulled off by the second with only a hasty executed bow to mark their exit.
Akaashi watched them go, feeling a headache pounding behind his head as he refrained from gritting his teeth.
There was a stabbing, sharp feeling in the pit of his stomach that Akaashi was surprised to realize was a deep envy.
It seemed the future King had something strong enough to fight for.
What did Akaashi have?
And suddenly, with a heart beating out of tune, Akaashi realized he needed to see Bokuto with an urgency that was verging on panic.
ooooo
"Kotaro."
Bokuto jumped, the lute in his hand letting out a strangled twang! as its master turned with large eyes to stare at Akaashi.
"Keiji? You called me Kota-"
"I am a confession to make," Akaashi said in a rush before he could lose courage. "I lied to you."
Bokuto stared at him. "Huh?"
"I lied," Akaashi repeated. "When you asked me what kind of music I liked, when you found the music book in my bag and asked me if I liked classics, I lied. Satoshi gave me the book and I forgot about it. I don't like classic music."
"Um, okay?" If anything, Bokuto looked more confused.
"But, I don't dislike it either," he continued, looking at Bokuto with increasing urgency because he needed someone to understand what he was trying to say. "I don't think I dislike anything; but, I don't think I like anything either. Not meaning people, of course, but-" Akaashi huffed, fingers twisting through his hair. "What I'm trying to say is you asked me what kind of things I liked; but, I don't think I have any! I don't have any favorites. I don't have anything I hate! I don't have interests! I don't have hobbies, I just….Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"
Bokuto blinked. "Keiji….I….wait, didn't you say you liked tavern music like just last week?"
"I said I loved your music," he corrected, turning and pacing along the field. "That's different! I love it because it's yours! I liked the music in the town because you took me there, because you're the one who brought it to me. It didn't come from me originally, it was you. It's always been you because between us you're the one who's interesting. You're the one climbs cliffs and plays the lute and I'm…"
"You're the one that looks at rocks and finds rubies," Akaashi finished, not even completely sure what he himself was trying to say but knowing he needed to say it. "And I lied to you. Kotaro, I'm afraid that I'm….well, I think I'm really boring actually."
Hands landed on Akaashi's face before he could say anything else, nearly causing him to lose his balance before his hands caught on strong arms. He looked up and was cut off by bright gold eyes and a soft smile looking down at him.
Akaashi felt his heart hammering against his ribs.
Bokuto smiled.
Akaashi really loved to see him smile.
"That's silly, Keiji," Bokuto said, voice low and warm like the setting of a sun. "Of course, you're not boring. How could you be?"
Akaashi's breath caught painfully in his chest. "Because I'm the future Queen?"
He didn't….he didn't want….
He didn't just want to be a Queen.
Bokuto laughed. "No, because you're Keiji. How could Keiji possibly be boring? You are the ruby."
Akaashi didn't say anything, couldn't even if he wanted to, caught in one still moment between two gloved hands and a boy with eyes like the sun and with hair that shone in the moon.
Akaashi realized something.
There was something he wanted. Something he had for months.
In a solid golden moment, he couldn't think of a single reason why he shouldn't do it.
He kissed him.
Akaashi Keiji kissed Bokuto Kotaro, hands twining up to his collar to pull him closer, nearer, deeper to see if every part of him was really as warm as Akaashi expected.
He kissed him and it felt like the thrum of music and the light shining off gemstones.
And the best part of all, Bokuto kissed him back.
They were both out of breath by the time they pulled away and Akaashi looked up, feeling gloved hands that had somehow shifted to his hips pulling him closer.
Bokuto's lips turned up in a grin. "See, Keiji! Never boring."
