Alive
By: Aviantei
28 mph
It takes us a while to get all the introductions and explanations out of the way, but even then Nate still looks like his mind is about to explode. I gave him full reign of the chair, and he has his head in hands like that's going to cover up the red seeping into the tips of his ears, sticking out brilliantly against his sandy blonde hair. Too bad Dad made Caleb put his phone away.
"Let me get this straight," Nate says, his voice somewhat muffled. "You brought me Cunningham Hume for my birthday."
"Well, considering who all we have in this room, nothing was ever going to be straight," I say, and Caleb snorts. Nate would laugh if he wasn't too busy having an existential crisis. "But, yes, I did really bring you Alexander as part of your birthday gift. You can't keep him, though. I'm kind of dating him."
"Holy shit. I'm dreaming, right? Or I'm getting punk'd?" He looks to Dad and Caleb for some sign, but they both just shrug. "This is not what I was expecting out of today. What is my life right now?" I can tell he's bursting with questions, but I just get that look that says he's planning on grilling me once his brain has a moment to process things. For now, though, he lets out a deep breath and sits upright. "Okay, okay. I'll freak out later. How about you, Dad? How are you doing?"
Dad shakes his head. "You don't need to worry about me. I'll be out of here in no time."
Nate and I press our lips together at the same time, which means we're both probably thinking along the lines of It's kind of hard not to worry about you when you've ended up in the hospital again, but neither of us voices the thought. "The nurse I asked said that Dad should be able to get out by the weekend," Caleb says, offering something way more concrete than vague assurances.
I debate pressing him for more details but decide I'd be better off getting answers from the source when I get the chance. For now, it's my job to make sure everyone is feeling okay. I make myself smile and clap my hands together. "Good. Then we should be able to at least have the party like we were planning." Lucky for us that Nate just wanted a small family affair. Alexander glances at me, like he can tell that I'm putting on an act, but he doesn't call me out. "Now. Nate, Caleb. When's the last time either of you ate?"
"Ah, well…"
"I came here after class, 'cause—"
"Yeah, nope, didn't ask for excuses." Dad at least has the hospital staff looking out for him; Caleb and Nate are just as stubborn as I am, and they'll easily forget a bout their own health while fussing over Dad. As expected, both my brothers try to avoid looking me in the eyes. "I know that we're all concerned, but you two need to eat. Older sister's orders."
"I'll add my order to that, too," Dad says, and Nate and Caleb groan in stereo. "I can't do too much while I'm here, so I'll just take a nap. Stop fussing and go eat."
"I'm pretty sure I saw that there were some places to eat not too far from here. We can stay close by," Alexander says.
While Nate may be willing to argue with me or Dad, he hesitates at the idea of bickering with Cunningham Hume, and that's enough to put the nail in that coffin. He grumbles out, "Yeah, yeah," and Caleb, recognizing that he's unnumbered, agrees, too.
"That's that then," Dad says, clapping his hands together. I'm a bit apprehensive about heading out after arriving so soon, but at least in the hospital Dad has people looking out for him. My darling little brothers aren't anywhere near as well taken care of, though I can tell they've been trying. "You all go out and eat a nice meal and don't worry about me. I promise I'll before when you kids come back."
"You heard him," I say, tugging Nate up from his seat since he's closest to me. Caleb gets the message and starts packing up his art supplies, every stray pencil and eraser gathered up in seconds. "I haven't had the opportunity to spoil you two in a while. So make sure to eat your fill, okay? You guys can even pick the venue."
It takes a second for it to click that my wallet is available, and Caleb and Nate take a few moments to confer before figuring out where to go.
"Huh? You're gonna make us go home? That's not fair!"
Not even several hamburgers, a shared pile of fries, and his favorite cookies and cream milkshake aren't enough to stop Caleb from protesting from his seat across from me. Nate sits beside him in the fast food booth, looking just as frustrated. Alexander gives me a side glance of concern, but it's pretty obvious he has no idea what younger siblings are capable of. They haven't even gotten close to throwing a tantrum.
"Look, I'm not making you go home forever," I say, running a couple of fries through some ketchup. "But I'm pretty sure you've both been spending all your time at the hospital. I get that, but it's not good for you. I at least want you two to go home, wash up, and spend a little bit of time without worrying. Do your homework, watch dumb cat videos for all I care. Just please take a breather, and you can come back in the evening."
Caleb grimaces, his hands clenching into fists. "But—"
"Don't bother, C," Nate says, looking resigned. "You know that once Kirsten starts making sense, then we're in trouble." He shakes his head, looking the most depressed I've ever seen him with chicken strips in hand. Nate takes a frustrated drink from his soda and leans back in his seat. "I'll agree, but only because I know it's for the better." I don't miss his eyes flicker over to Alexander. You can admit that you want to be on front of your best behavior in front of a celebrity, baby bro. I promise it's okay. Nate pats Caleb's shoulder, urging him to sit back down. "You don't gotta worry. A few hours will fly by, and then we can go and make sure Kir and Dad are doing alright."
Caleb bites his lip and groans. "I hate it when you two actually agree on something reasonable."
If I didn't have salt all over my fingers, I'd reach out to ruffle his hair. Since I do, though, I settle for flashing him a smile. "That's what you get for being born the youngest. But you get to make up for it by being the most adorable." Caleb mutters something into his straw as his cheeks flush red. "But I really do want you two to take care of yourselves, even if that's a little hypocritical of me. But I promise I'll handle all the serious stuff, so you two don't need to worry."
Nate raises en eyebrow. "You do understand that that means we're just going to end up worrying about your wellbeing on top of Dad's, right?"
"And that's what I'm here," Alexander says, interjecting himself into the conversation without it sounding out of place in the slightest. I like how it feels like he belongs here. Alexander slips his fingers around mine underneath the table. "Trust me, I know how this one can get. I'll be sure that she doesn't go overboard, so take it easy."
Still looking somewhat embarrassed over the fact that Cunningham Hume is at the table with us, Nate lowers his head. "I'm so sorry that you have to put up with our sister's nonsense." Mouth stuffed with fries, Caleb nods his agreeance, and Alexander chuckles.
"Wow, you two are so asking for it," I say, unable to sound stern anymore. We may be stressed together, but we're family, and we can keep each other steady through little gestures. "I want you guys to spend at least two hours at home, you hear me? I'll pay for transport to get you guys back, so don't fuss over that. We can all hang out with Dad in the evening, and I'll even come home and get some sleep with you. Deal?"
"Deal," my brothers say in well practiced unison.
"Excellent." I lean back in my seat, surveying our table one more time, willing the immediate crisis to slip out of mind for just a bit longer. "Now who thinks they can beat me at building the tallest sauce cup tower?"
Caleb and Nate rise wonderfully to the occasion, but I'm not surprised in the slightest that Alexander beats us all.
"They're good kids," Alexander says after we've finished tidying up our mess in the restaurant and my brothers are tucked away in the cab home nice and safe. If it weren't for the fact that I gave the driver explicit instructions (and a hefty tip) not to take them anywhere else, I'd be worried that they'd try to sneak their way back to the hospital.
"Yeah," I say, picturing their smiles and laughs in my mind. I want to keep them like that. All we need to do is get Dad taken care of and home safe, and then I won't have to worry about the gray swallowing them whole. Not yet.
"You're doing good, too," Alexander adds, squeezing my hand again. "Taking care of things for them. But I'm still gonna be here to make sure you don't go overboard, you get me?"
I let out a quiet snort, watching as cars drive by and pedestrians make their way up and down the streets, across crosswalks. It's been a long time since I've felt so stunned at how the world moves on, even when everything in my own life feels like it's teetering on the edge. "Relax. I know you weren't just fronting in front of Nate and C. If I'm being honest, I'm…kind of counting on you to make sure I take care of myself."
Alexander gives me that softer smile, without any traces of his usual smirk. "Reporting for duty, ma'am."
"I think you're forgetting that I'm not a proper lady by any means." I give his hand another squeeze before slipping my fingers away from his. "Though if you don't mind, I do want to have a little talk with Dad on my own, so I'm gonna have to ask you to give me a little space for a bit."
After dealing with Nate and Caleb's stubbornness, it's a welcome change to see Alexander so readily agreeing to my terms with a nod. "No need to worry. I'll be sure to keep things clear for you."
"Much appreciated." We fall into silence as we walk back to the hospital, with the faintest bit of nerves starting to work their way into my brain again. Why is it the ordinary things that worry me so much, even when I know they aren't as dangerous as the stunts I've pulled. Probably because they don't just affect me, but others as well, the intertwining bonds of relationships feeling so fragile, even when they're formed by blood.
This time for sure. I have to convince Dad before this happens again.
Once we're off the streets, the world feels less hectic. Between the patients and the visitors, most of the people inside the hospital have their ordinary lives knocked off track in some way or another. Alexander escorts me all the way to Dad's door before giving me a clasp on the shoulder and wandering off to occupy himself in one way or another. It's going to be full privacy, a one-on-one, and I don't know if I can out stubborn Dad like I can Nate and Caleb.
But, for all their sakes, I sure as hell can try.
"Welcome back, Kir," Dad says, putting down the magazine he's flipping through. "I'm guessing you want to talk."
[Author's Notes]
Sibling relationships are some of my favorites to write.
Next week is more family dynamics, so please look forward to it!
-Avi
[11.04.2019]
