A/N: It seems like people are enjoying this. And despite this being a gag-like comedy, I'm finding it fun to explore the world in my own weird way. Hopefully this "light and breezy" feeling continues on.
Mistakes Were Made
The setting was a darkened stage.
[ SFX: THOOM. ]
Suddenly, a spotlight appeared. Accelerator sat on his knees wearing distinctly traditional Japanese clothing.
"Before beginning the next chapter, we need to address a serious issue."
Accelerator coughed once.
"In Chapter 2 of 'Super Seven', a joke involving Shokuhou Misaki and Misaka Mikoto was made in regards to club name suggestions. In this exchange, Shokuhou Misaki altered her suggestion to name the club 'Misaka Mikoto Fanclub' to 'Kamijou Touma Fanclub'. At this, Misaka Mikoto demanded her to 'change it back'."
"However…"
"Whether or not Shokuhou Misaki 'changed it back' is left unclear. And to perpetuate the shitty writing, the author left the winning lot ambiguous as only the characters for 'Fanclub' were made visible."
"Clarifying the matter, Shokuhou Misaki did in fact 'change it back' to 'Misaka Mikoto Fanclub'. We apologize for the confusion."
[ SFX: THOOM. ]
Another spotlight appeared. This one centered on Sogiita Gunha. Lying on the floor face down, reddish liquid seemed to be spreading underneath his body.
"Atoning for our wrongdoing, we had the Number 7 commit seppuku."
( Gunha: My guuuuuts… )
Truth
[ SFX: THOOM. ]
Another spotlight came on. In the audience, Misaka Mikoto stood up.
"It may be too late to ask, but is there any chance we could change the name to literally anything else?"
Accelerator unraveled a fan in a smooth motion.
"The answer is 'no'. The 'Misaka Mikoto Fanclub' is a pivotal plot point. If you've got a problem, send your complaints to the author."
( Mikoto: Plot point? )
"Ohohohoho~!"
[ SFX: THOOM. ]
Shokuhou Misaki made her appearance by descending a crystal staircase. She wore the traditional garbs of a Japanese princess.
"Haven't you realized it, Misaka-san? The true nature of the 'Misaka Mikoto Fanclub'?"
( Mikoto: True… nature…? )
"That is…
"To destroy the reputation of Misaka Mikoto! Your days in the sun are over! You've already been dethroned as Top Female Light Novel Character!"
( Mikoto: What the heck?-! Screw you guys! )
I'm Done Now
Mugino Shizuri stepped on stage. Walking over to a microphone…
"You guys are taking too long. Wrap it up. Also, where's my spotlight?"
Kakine Teitoku spoke from the rafters.
"There are too many of you on stage. I can't keep up."
Misaka Mikoto seemed confused.
"Eh? What?"
"Misaka-san. You can wake up now."
( Mikoto: Wake up? )
Smooth transition to Misaka Mikoto sitting up in bed…
"…"
...
The Number 3 narrowed her eyes.
"Seriously. Screw you guys."
The Queen and Boredom
In the clubroom, Shokuhou Misaki heaved a sigh.
"Seems like Misaka-san is going to be late…"
Overhearing this, Sogiita Gunha made a suggestion.
"Leader, should I go fetch her?"
The girl frowned.
"Don't bother. If my sources are right, she should still be in School Garden. You'll end up making a fool out of yourself. Not to mention you would embarrass the heck out of Misaka-"
…
Shokuhou Misaki stopped herself.
"You know what? You should totally do it."
"Sir, yes sir!"
Gunha's Bizarre Adventure
Sogiita Gunha had traveled a long distance. He spoke to himself.
"I chose a direction and just started walking… but I have no idea where School Garden is."
He stroked his chin.
"Should I find a map?"
As the boy continued his pace, he noticed that he was being stared at. All around him, girls were whispering amongst themselves and keeping their distance.
He singled one of them out with a finger.
"You there...!"
"...?"
He had chosen a girl with a young face and submissive personality. He beckoned her to come forward with a hand motion, and in response the girl nervously tried to walk away.
"Hey! Where do you think you're going?"
Catching up to her, the Number 7 grabbed her shoulder.
"I-I'm being impregnated…!"
This was a sure sign that he had reached his destination.
Innocence
"There's someone I'm looking for. You wouldn't happen to know where she is, would ya?"
Sogiita Gunha asked that vague question, but the girl was too busy panicking to answer.
"Mother. Father. I'm sorry to say… I can't become a bride anymore… I've become this mongrel's property…"
She cried into her hands.
"I'm too young to have a child…!"
At this, Sogiita Gunha corrected her.
"You fool! Children don't happen from just touching!"
"Eh?"
"Children come from GUTS!"
"I-Is that how it works…?"
Attack Crash Course
"It's become apparent to me that you're an idiot, so let this Sogiita Gunha teach you a lesson!"
The Number 7 began attracting a crowd.
"When a man and a woman of similar power levels meet, the urge to battle arises within them."
"And from that point, they clash! Trading blows, kicks, and headbutts...! Passion overwhelms them to the point of exhaustion!"
( Mental Image Man: You're pretty good. )
( Mental Image Woman: You're not too bad yourself. )
"With one final cross-counter! Their fighting spirits merge into one another! There it is! Understanding through fists! The ultimate form of communication! But what is it that they see? Each other's pasts? Their motives and feelings? No! The truth is… What they see is…"
Sogiita Gunha exploded!
"GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTS!"
He skimmed through the rest of the explanation.
"And then nine months later, the woman has a baby."
( Mental Image Man: I'm a Papa now! )
( Mental Image Woman: Hush! The baby's sleeping! )
Q&A
Having amassed a group of curious school girls, Sogiita Gunha began taking questions. A girl with a notepad and pen raised her hand.
"Question! I don't quite understand. I read in my anatomy book that-"
Sogiita Gunha gestured for her to stop.
"Well there's your problem. You used a book. Where you should really be looking is your gut. That's where all the real answers lie."
"I… I see…"
( Girl: So it's guts then… I've been going about this all wrong… )
"Hey. Here's something I want to know…"
Someone else called over to the Number 7. The familiar voice continued.
"What the heck…"
Sogiita Gunha turned his head and…
"…ARE YOU TEACHING THESE GIRLS?-!"
Took a flying kick to the face.
Another Time
"Hey! How's it going?"
The slightly bloodied Sogiita Gunha made a casual salute. In return, Misaka Mikoto grimaced.
"Don't tell me. You were sent here to fetch me."
Catching onto the situation quickly, she grabbed her head.
Damn that girl…! She really is out to destroy my reputation…! I'm lucky I found him before any rumors started circulating…
( Crowd: That's… Misaka Mikoto? Does she know this man? )
Hearing that, the girl immediately went out to extinguish any flames.
"Eh? Uh? No, no! Whatever you're thinking, discard it! We just belong in the same club!"
"Club?"
There seemed to be confusion in the group.
"Ah, yeah! The uh-*cough cough* Club! I'm actually on my way there right now!"
Swiftly, Misaka Mikoto grabbed the Number 7's collar and started dragging him away.
"Ahh…! We're running late! Gotta get a move on!"
The two fled the scene, leaving the others to speculate.
( Crowd: *Cough cough* Club? I don't think I've ever heard of that. )
Eventually, everyone dispersed… however…
A single girl stood her ground.
Looking towards where the two level 5s hurried off to, she clenched her fists.
Misunderstandings
Before reaching the clubroom, Misaka Mikoto mentally prepared herself.
I can't let my guard down. Not for a second.
Sogiita Gunha followed behind her, rubbing his cheek.
I've gotten myself involved in something pointless, but god-be-damned if I let that girl have the last laugh…!
Arriving at the entrance to the clubroom, she opened the door… And…
What she detected straightaway was tussled golden hair.
"Eh-tet-tet-tet... Ouch…"
It was an extremely odd scene.
"Eh…? Misaka-san?"
Shokuhou Misaki had fallen over, and underneath her was…
"…"
Quietly, Misaka Mikoto shut the door.
Next Chapter : Accelerator gets in a pickle!
Extra
To those of you disappointed that the title 'Kamijou Touma Fanclub' wasn't chosen as the club name… specifically TkMacintosh, xMikaelx, and Darkbetrayer… I have a reveal to make…
You see, the name 'Kamijou Touma Fanclub' is already taken by another group. And I will reveal who they are right now.
Awaken my masters!
Kamisato Kakeru: I have a mysterious power in my right hand, the World Rejector, a power that is the exact opposite of the Imagine Breaker!
Decelerator: Controlling vectors? What? How about making vectors in graphic design! Spooooky!
Nega-Hamazura: What's going on? Why am I here? Who are these people?
ALL: Together, we create the Kamijou Touma Fanclub! And our purpose…! TO DESTROY MISAKA MIKOTO'S REPUTATION!
"WHY ME…?-!"
Smooth transition to Misaka Mikoto sitting up in bed…
"AGAIN…?-!"
( Kuroko: Onee-sama seems to be having a lot of nightmares… )
