A/N: There were times while writing Super SS where I felt like story arcs had to end or wrap up within a single chapter. A long-winded continuity is not something a gag-like comedy needs. However, in 'Super Collider', and now 'Super Seven', there appears to be a timeline (which I admittedly messed up). Hopefully, this won't turn people off…

The ending to Chapter 3 will eventually find its way into another chapter. When that happens, please be excited.


"Pride"

In a certain place at a certain time…

A certain someone was presented with an impossible task.

Last Order appeared in front of Accelerator.

"'Hey! Can you open this?' asks Misaka as Misaka hands over a jar of pickles."

Accelerator looked at the jar.

Instinctively he reached for the switch on his collar; however…

"…"

[ SFX: Jiiiiiiiiiiii~ ]

Noticing the little girl's stare, he became discouraged.

The Struggle

"RNNNNNGGGGGGGHHHHHH!"

Accelerator gripped the jar.

"MNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGHHHHH!"

He made several excruciating faces.

"ARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!"

Unleashing his fury, he let his voice roar.

"'Misaka will be heading off to school now,' says Misaka as Misaka puts her shoes on."

Last Order, tired of waiting, left him to his own devices.

Knowing Too Much

In the end…

The Number 1 had brought the jar with him to the clubroom. A heavy atmosphere hovered over him as he sat at the table.

"…"

Staring blankly at the overwhelming obstacle in front of him, he seemed to be contemplating his own self-worth.

"Geh! What the…!"

Shokuhou Misaki walked into the room. The strange scene of a sulking Accelerator gazing at a jar of pickles unnerved her.

"Ehhh…"

Unsure of what to do with herself, Shokuhou Misaki looked away nervously.

"This is unusual… The Number 1 has such a troubled expression… Could it be that you're having difficulty opening that jar…? Heh~ as if, right?"

"…"

Accelerator stood up from his seat.

Pulling out a handgun…

"Oi, oi, oi! Was I right on the money…?-! No, wait! Before that, put that away…!"

Common Weakness

"So, that's how it is."

Accelerator disclosed the situation.

"No, no. Even if you say that, you're making it hard for me to not make fun of you. To think that your physical strength has deteriorated so much that you can't even do something as simple as opening a jar is humiliating."

Taking the jar of pickles, Shokuhou Misaki gripped the lid.

"Never mind calling yourself a man, can you even qualify for the bare minimum standards of being healthy?"

Twisting…

"All it should take is a bit of force and…"

"…"

After a moment, the Number 5 backpedaled.

"But, well… I guess jars can occasionally be a bitch to open, so you don't need to concern yourself too much."

"Oi."

Water Hammer

Accelerator reached to take the jar back from Shokuhou Misaki; however, she raised a hand to stop him.

"Wait, wait. I haven't given up just yet!"

She narrowed her eyes.

"In times like these, it's appropriate to use techniques devised by the common people."

Her eyes glinted.

"It's time to use that!"

The Water Hammer Technique:

By holding a jar at a 45-degree angle and slapping the bottom of the jar with the center of your palm, this causes a water hammer effect, raising pressure near the lid and breaking the vacuum of the jar. Take caution. Only slap hard enough to break the seal, but not hard enough to hurt your hand or break the jar.

Shokuhou Misaki tilted the jar with its bottom facing upward.

And with the palm of her hand, she slapped it.

"Aye!"

[ SFX: SLAP! ]

Smiling confidently…

"How was that? Using a technique passed down from generation to generation, there's no way you can defeat me…!"

5 Stages of Pickles

Once more, Shokuhou Misaki attempted to open the jar.

Denial:

"Ha- Ha ha! It's turning! I can feel it! J-Just a little bit more…"

Anger:

"W-Why aren't you opening you stupid jar…! Dang it! Dang it! Just open already!"

Bargaining:

"C-C'mon… Give a little slack… Just… Budge a little bit… Please…"

Depression:

"…"

The Number 5 fell to her knees.

"I can't do it. I'm a failure. I wish I was born as a mushroom."

Acceptance:

"I see now. So the jar was never meant to be opened."

Shokuhou Misaki reached enlightenment.

The Informant

"Geh… What's going on here?"

As Misaka Mikoto stepped into the room, she saw Accelerator and Shokuhou Misaki sitting across from each other with what looked like a jar of pickles placed between them. The Number 1's self-loathing gloom contrasted with the Number 5's spiritual high.

"Ah, you see, those two-"

Misaka Mikoto reflexively jumped back.

"Wha-?-! Where the heck did you come from…!"

Kakine Teitoku's smile twitched.

"I was here the entire time."

"Is that so…"

Taking a breath, the boy continued.

"Those two seem to be having trouble opening that jar there. But I wouldn't get myself involved, as it appears that this is a matter of pride."

The Number 3 blinked several times.

"Are they idiots or something?"

"I have my suspicions."

No Good Deed

Misaka Mikoto approached the two Level 5s.

"Jeez, if you want help, just say something!"

( Teitoku: Hey… wait… )

Taking the jar of pickles, the girl gripped the lid and twisted.

[ SFX: Pop! ]

"There. Easy wasn't it?"

For some reason, the air in the room chilled.

"Eh…?"

Standing up…

The white-haired boy pulled out a handgun…

And likewise, the golden-haired beauty carried a lady pistol of her own…

( Misaki: I want in on this too. )

Pride

Some time later…

Accelerator met up with Last Order and presented her the jar of pickles.

"Here. A gift from your older sister."

"Hmm?"

The girl took the gift and smiled.

"'Thank you!' says Misaka as Misaka takes the jar in earnest."

"..."

Strangely... there was a lingering feeling of distance...

The two who had forged a close relationship… now shared an uncomfortable moment.

Accelerator scratched the back of his head and looked off.

"I'll be off. Tell the rest I'm alright."

Walking away, the wind above seemed to rush and die down. The sound of crumpled foliage filled in the gap.

"See ya."

"Y-Yeah…"

In Last Order's eyes, there appeared to be something more she wanted to say. But she held back. The only words that left her mouth were a reflection.

"See ya…"

Home Sweet

The sun had set.

Darkness had settled in.

An unlit room left undecorated.

With no dishes in its sink.

And no food in its fridge.

The Number 1 stood at the entrance of this sterile place…

And took a breath.

"Tadaima."


Timeline: 1, 2, 4, x, 3

Next Chapter: Nothing makes sense as expected.