Alive
By: Aviantei
30 mph
So, long story short, after Mom died, Dad ultimately got remarried.
It wasn't one of those relationships that was super fast—it was like three years after Mom passed away that Dad decided to try again. He talked it over with all of us, even Caleb who was barely wandering into kindergarten at the time. He asked us how we felt, and while Nate was a bit reluctant at first, I pointed out that this wasn't about us, and that Dad deserved to be happy. Once I declared that I wouldn't blame him, the others followed.
Me at fifteen, just getting started on being a troublemaker.
Nate at ten, learning to navigate middle school and fighting off acne.
Caleb at five, acclimating to kindergarten after the past few years of hopping between our aunt and uncle.
Caleb who hadn't even realized he was Caleb yet.
Dad assured us that we didn't need to replace Mom with his new girlfriend, and over time she integrated into our lives and became Dad's second marriage. She was more straight-laced than Mom was, and it drove her nuts to watch me go on my exploits. But other than her griping at me, she was fine. If she'd acted that way towards Nate and Caleb, Dad wouldn't have been okay. But his patience with me was running thin, too, and I think they kind of bonded over it. I was too busy chasing away the gray anyway to care much about how a quarter of our conversations were lectures.
And then Caleb asked if it would be okay if he was a boy, and things got messy.
Dad didn't care in the slightest if he had two sons instead of just one, and I was more than happy to accommodate whatever Caleb needed. Nate was probably the most supportive of all, given that he was starting to realize that girls weren't really his thing, and they went ahead and bonded even more than before. And given all the strides made in diversity and the like, there weren't any issues when it came to school and the like. Three guesses who was the wrench in the equation?
The first two guesses don't count, by the way.
I don't know what her issue was or why she was still clinging to an outdated viewpoint. I never wanted to understand, either. But Dad talked with her, and even Caleb gave her a chance to get used to it, but she didn't take it. She tried to change him, tried to ruin the peace my baby brother deserved, and she didn't even bother to put on a nice façade when Dad was around.
He didn't hesitate to file the divorce papers.
She threw a big dramatic fit but eventually didn't have the choice but to leave us alone.
Life went on, and it would've been nice to just forget. In fact, I'm pretty sure I had, considering that there were way more pressing issues going on in my life. But even if I had forgotten, I already knew:
That there was no way I would ever forgive.
My patience evaporated, I can feel my temper boiling over and my body starting to move on its own. Alexander's hand catches my wrist as it comes up in a swing, and I feel the tug on my arm as I try to step forward. While he managed to halt my forward movement, he can't stop the words of venom from tumbling out of my mouth.
"You're the one that never learns!" I say, stomping at the tile and wanting nothing more than to smack the condescending look over her face. "Don't you remember why Dad split up with you in the first place? If you haven't fixed that attitude of yours, then you have no reason to come around us!"
"I didn't come here to debate Cathleen's delusions with you all," she says, maintaining that cold composure of hers without a second thought. Nate drops his arm around Caleb's shoulders, and I try to pull my hand away from Alexander, his grip not budging in the slightest. "I'm merely here to check on your father. If you'd all just let me by, we can stop getting in each other's hair."
I'm so upset that I can feel the heat crawling up my neck. "You fucking—"
"Ma'am," Alexander says, the deep bass of his voice easily overpowering my words even though he doesn't shout. I turn back to him, glaring all the way. "I'll admit that I don't know all the details, but I can tell you're stirring up trouble. This is a hospital, so don't you think we should be more considerate of our surroundings?" Sure enough, some people are poking their heads out of their doorways, surveying for trouble. I wouldn't be surprised if a staff member comes and scolds us soon.
The bitch has the gall to frown, like she's done nothing wrong. "I suppose you're right, but I'm not the one getting all worked up here." Her eyes run over me, and I use my free hand to give her the finger. "I have no intentions of being so crude."
"While that may be the case, it sounds to me like you're saying some things that are sure to get a reaction, aren't you?" I'd be pissed off at Alexander for interrupting if he doesn't look to Caleb and Nate with a reassuring smile. "Why don't you two go tell your dad that he has company?" Neither of them hesitate to take the obvious out, Nate shielding Caleb and sticking out his tongue on the way in, the door to Dad's room shutting behind them.
Dad's ex follows my brothers with her eyes but doesn't toss any taunts after them. Despite the fact that I'm glad the boys are out of earshot, I can't fully relax. The woman gives Alexander an appraising glance, and though there isn't the flash of recognition in her gaze. The IG never interested her anyways, no matter how much Nate was enthralled with it. "And you are?" she asks.
"No one too important, ma'am," he says, a forced tone of politeness over her words. "I'm close to the family, if you have to put it someway. But more than that, I'm not a fan of people who disrespect who other people are, so I'd appreciate it if you'd leave the kids out of this."
"Oh? Perhaps they should stay out of things on their own, then."
I grit my teeth, torn between cursing her out and not expending the effort on her. "Go be transphobic somewhere else. Dad still doesn't want to put up with your cissexist bullshit." I put on a fierce grin. "Remember how you used to try to stop me from getting in trouble? Well I never figured that part out, but I sure did learn a lot of ways to be dangerous. Keep talking shit about Caleb, and you'll get to see firsthand just what you failed to keep me out of."
"And even if she doesn't," Alexander says, "I'm going to have to respectfully ask you to leave. If your visit is so important, you can come back some other time."
Her eyes narrow, but she managed to twist her lips into a smile. "I suppose I can, can't I? Since I'm not getting anywhere, I'll take my leave then." I expect for a final shot to come out, but she stays silent as she walks away. Though I have plenty of insults I want to shout after her, it's Alexander's presence that keeps me from erupting, a reminder that there are people waiting for me to get back to them and be their rock.
It doesn't make me any less pissed off at what just happened, though. Not in the slightest.
I glare at the bitch's retreating back until she's around the corner and out of sight, and then I stomp the ground so hard that I can feel the tingles working their way up my leg. I haven't been this angry in ages, not even at Dad for his stubborn nonsense. Funny how I used to chase after this sensation, too, like seeing nothing but red was somehow better than the gray.
It really isn't.
But still—
Locating the closest chair, I all but fall into it, not caring when my head thonks against the wall behind me. Alexander releases my hand, but he doesn't stray far, sitting down beside me. I can see the lines of worry forming between his eyebrows, his calm mask from earlier gone. It has to be all the experience in the mech and on camera that helps him keep his cool like that. I just don't bother.
"If I didn't know better, I'd say she came here to make my life worse," I say, a groan escaping as I run my hands through my hair. It hardly puts a dent in my frustration. "I'm pretty sure Dad hasn't talked with her since they divorced. What did she think she was going to get out of this?" Especially since she got hitched with someone else. Once again, I can't even begin understand her, and I don't know if I want to. I raise my head and let it fall back against the wall one more time fore good measure.
"If I could have the answers to those questions for you, Kirsten, I would." Gone is all the authority of before; Alexander's voice just sounds soft. Funny how he's never had to be an older brother and yet he's replicated the soothing tone of comfort I use with Nate and Caleb. "I said it on the plane, and I'll say it again: Whatever you need me to do to help, I'll take care of it. Is there anything you want me to do?"
"Can you help me make it look like an accident when I push her down some stairs?" Alexander chuckles, despite my even tone. "Hey! I am perfectly serious here."
Alexander shakes his head. "I don't think I have enough context to help you out with that." I toss my hands in the air. What's the point of dating if you don't have the confidence to murder someone on the other's word? With Alexander facing me head on, it's easy to see how his expression keeps shifting between amusement and worry. "Would it be too much to ask for some context? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."
"No, I don't mind." With a sigh, I pull myself forward in my seat, elbows resting on my knees. "I'm not the one with any trauma. It just pisses me off." Concern makes me want to go and check on Caleb, but I know I'm not emotionally stable enough to be there for him. Nate can take care of things for a little bit longer, I decide, then close my eyes. "Tl;dr, after Mom died, Dad got remarried. I think you can guess why she's not my step-mother anymore."
Alexander lets out a low hum. "Yeah, I think I can guess." I hear him shift in his seat, opening my eyes to find him leaning over to be at eye level with me. "I'm still not sold on the whole murder thing, because I'm pretty sure Sir Hamgra will kill me if I got caught up in something like that."
I put a hand to my chest in mock hurt. "You're choosing Hamgra over me again. I'm starting to think I should be concerned, Alexander."
"But if we see her again, I promise I'll take care of your brothers. I'd say I'd take care of you, but, well." He shrugs. "I know you got that covered. But say the word, and I'll do whatever you need me, too. They're your family, so I care about them, too, okay?"
A different kind of heat than my earlier rage starts to wind its way up my neck. "Whatever I need, except for fabricating murder as an accident."
"Except for that. Forgive my shortcomings."
"Well, you're already putting up with me," I say, stretching my shoulders out, "I think I'm willing to compromise a little bit."
[Author's Notes]
Yes, an on time update this week. Let's keep that up all the way to the end of the year, now shall we?
Also, chapter thirty. We really are in the endgame now, folks.
Endgame, yes, but things aren't over yet! I'll see you all for chapter thirty-one next week!
-Avi
[11.18.2019]
