Author's note: I meant to get this out sooner, but this chapter was harder to write than I expected. I must have written and rewritten it several times! The kiss in the last chapter wasn't planned- it kind of just happened, so now I'm trying to figure out where to go with this. Thanks for bearing with me :)

Elizabeth woke the next morning with a smile on her face. She reached out to the place where Jack should be, but her fingers encountered empty space. Confused, she sat up, looking around.

Why in the world was there a curtain in the middle of the room?

It all came back to her in a rush. Jack was gone. She was married to Nathan now. With a sigh, she fell back against her pillow.

It had all been a dream. She'd dreamt of losing Jack again, watched him ride away for the last time, begging him not to go because she knew he wouldn't come back. Then she'd jerked awake to find him there, silhouetted in the moonlight, her joy and relief to see him sitting in front of her overwhelming. She'd kissed him with all the love and longing in her heart, and he'd responded just as passionately. It had been wonderful…

She frowned, the thought trailing off. Something didn't make sense. She knew she'd been dreaming about Jack leaving, but she was certain she was awake when they kissed. It was too real to be otherwise. She could still feel his kiss on her lips, his arms around her holding her close. Then he'd held her hand until she fell asleep; she could feel the warmth of his hand, she remembered drifting off again into a dreamless sleep. She hadn't been dreaming then.

But that wasn't possible. Jack was gone. There was no way that could have actually happened. She must have been dreaming, but if she was it was more realistic than anything she'd dreamed before.

Something else was bothering her too. As wonderful as the kiss and embrace had been, something had felt different. She knew Jack's kiss. She knew what it felt like to be held by him. This hadn't been the same. It was a different kind of wonderful. Elizabeth thought hard, but she couldn't fit the pieces together. Giving up for the moment, she slipped into her robe and tied it securely, then padded down the stairs.

As usual, Nathan had finished cooking breakfast, but this time Allie and Jack were nowhere in sight. He turned when he heard her enter the kitchen. She was surprised to see a reserved look on his face as he said good morning. She was also surprised to see that he was already dressed in his uniform for the day. Normally he didn't put that on until after breakfast.

"Good morning, Nathan. Did you sleep well?"

His face tightened before smoothing out again. "Not really." He didn't elaborate.

"Too many thoughts?" she asked, taking a sip of the coffee he handed her.

"Something like that," he said, his voice clipped. Elizabeth frowned, watching him. He was studiously avoiding her eyes. What was wrong with him?

"Nathan, are you alright?" she asked, concern lacing her voice.

"Fine," he said. He motioned toward the stairs. "I should go get the kids. They weren't up, so I let them sleep a little longer than normal." With that, he hiked up the stairs much faster than she'd ever seen him climb them before.

Her brow furrowed. He was acting so strangely. She wondered if she'd said or done anything that would have upset him, but nothing came to mind. Confused, she set about filling four plates with the food Nathan had made. Within a few minutes, he came back downstairs, little Jack in his arms and Allie following behind them.

"Good morning, Aunt Elizabeth!" Allie exclaimed, giving Elizabeth a kiss on the cheek. Little Jack held his arms out to her, giggling. "Mama!"

"Good morning, Allie and Jack," Elizabeth said with a smile, taking Jack from Nathan. She noticed Nathan was careful not to touch her. She sighed inwardly. At least the children were acting like themselves.

Nathan didn't sit when the rest of them did. He stood there, hat in hand, and said, "I'm going to get an early start today on my rounds."

Elizabeth looked at him, startled. "What? But you never leave this early."

His mouth tightened into a line. "I know, but today is different." He offered no other explanation. He kissed Allie and Jack on the head, then nodded to Elizabeth. "See you this evening." With that, he walked out the door.

"Uncle Nathan is acting weird," Allie announced, taking a bite of her pancakes.

Elizabeth stood. "He sure is. Allie, can you watch Jack for a minute?'

Allie nodded. Elizabeth went to the door and opened it, coming onto the porch. Folding her arms across her chest, she called, "Nathan!"

For a brief moment, she thought he would ignore her. But he slowly turned and walked back, ascending a few of the porch steps until he was eye level with Elizabeth. There was a look of concern on his face. "Is something wrong?"

Elizabeth studied him, noticing a flash of vulnerability under his reserved mask. "I don't know, Nathan. Is something wrong?" she asked, turning the question on him. "Allie just said you're acting weird, and I'm inclined to agree with her."

Something flashed across Nathan's face before he could hide it. "I'm fine, Elizabeth," he said quietly. "It was just a long night."

Elizabeth didn't believe him. "That's all?"

He shuffled his feet, refusing to look at her. "Can we talk about this later?" he asked. "We both had a rough night, so maybe it would be best to revisit this after work."

Why did he think that? "Who says I had a rough night?" she asked, puzzled at his words.

A guilty look momentarily appeared on his face, as though he had a secret he wasn't sharing. "Um...I...you...uh…" He coughed, looking down at the ground. It took him several moments to answer. "You were crying in your sleep. I figured you were having bad dreams."

"Crying?" She didn't know that was possible.

He nodded. "You were calling out Jack's name."

So he knew she'd been dreaming of Jack. She felt a small pang in her side at his expression. Maybe that's why he was acting so strangely. He thought she was pining for her first love. Though why he should be acting this way still didn't make sense. It wasn't like there was a romantic understanding between the two of them, married or no.

She brought herself back to the moment at hand. "I see," she said. "It wasn't all bad, though."

Nathan's face became even more reserved at her comment. He nodded stiffly. "I'm glad to see you're better this morning." He stepped down to the bottom stair, tipping his hat to her. "I'll see you later, Elizabeth." With that, he was gone.

He was glad to see her better this morning? Did that mean he'd seen her when she was upset last night? Why didn't he wake her when she…?

Elizabeth's eyes widened, a hand floating to her heart. Someone had awakened her. She suddenly remembered feeling hands shaking her gently by the shoulders, hearing a voice telling her to wake up.

Nathan's voice. And if Nathan was the one who had been there when she woke up, that meant…

Her hands went to her face, her cheeks flaming red. No wonder he was acting the way he was. She had kissed him, thinking him to be Jack. And not just any kiss. A kiss of passion, of love, of longing. Horrified, she gripped the porch railing, trying to steady herself.

How was she going to face him again?


Nathan walked to the Mountie office, kicking himself the whole way. He'd said too much. Elizabeth was going to put the pieces together, and then where would they be? Their interactions were already a bit awkward; this was going to make it ten times worse. He knew he wasn't himself this morning. Try as he might, he was terrible at hiding his emotions. Elizabeth instantly knew something was wrong. Even Allie could tell he was acting weird, as she had put it.

Hanging his hat on a hook with more force than necessary, Nathan let out a long breath. He needed to focus. A mountain of papers on his desk needed attending. For the next couple of hours, he threw himself into his work, hoping to distract himself from the memory of Elizabeth's kiss and the fallout that he knew was coming. It provided some distraction, but he found himself staring at the wall far too often, lost in his thoughts.

Bill found him like that around noon. Nathan didn't even hear the door open. One minute he was alone, and then next Bill was standing in front of him.

"Nathan!" Bill said for the second time, snapping his fingers.

Nathan blinked, startled. "Bill! I...didn't hear you come in."

"Clearly," Bill said dryly. "Obviously there's something on your mind. Care to share?"

"Not really," Nathan said honestly. Bill was close to Elizabeth, had been close to Jack when he was alive. Nathan almost felt like an intruder in their relationship, regardless of the fact that he was doing nothing wrong. The last thing he wanted to do was discuss what had happened last night with Bill.

Bill pulled a chair up to the desk, not one to be easily dissuaded. "You might as well start talking," he said. "Being a judge has taught me to ask all the right questions and to wait on answers. One way or another, I'll get it out of you. So just make it easy on both of us and tell me what's on your mind."

Nathan sighed, tapping his pen against the desk. It was several minutes before he answered, but Bill made no signs of giving up. Finally, Nathan came out with it. "Elizabeth kissed me last night."

Bill's eyebrows shot up his forehead. He clearly hadn't been expecting that. "I see." He cleared his throat. "And what brought that on?"

Nathan's heart tightened in his chest. "She was dreaming. About Jack." He stood and started to pace the small office space. "I heard her crying, so I tried to wake her up. She was calling out to Jack. When I got her awake, she thought I was Jack come back from the grave, and she kissed me. Or more accurately, she kissed him."

"I see," Bill said again. He pinned Nathan with a pointed look. "And how do you feel about that?"

Nathan stared at Bill helplessly, trying to figure out how much to reveal. "I was elated at first," he admitted, deciding the truth was the best. It seemed easier to talk to Bill than it was to talk to Elizabeth. For some reason, Nathan trusted Bill to keep this quiet. "I had feelings for Elizabeth before we married, and they've only grown since. So for a brief moment, I thought maybe her feelings for me were growing too. And then I remembered that she called me Jack, and I felt sick. Almost like I was betraying her by letting the kiss go on when she thought it was him instead of me. So I pulled away."

Bill's eyes were going back and forth, following Nathan as he continued to pace. "And she doesn't know this?"

"I don't know!" Nathan raked his hands through his hair in frustration. "I don't think so, but I mentioned her dream this morning and she looked confused, like she wondered how I knew about that. My guess is it's only a matter of time until she figures it out. And then where will we be?"

Bill stood, his voice stern. "Nathan, you can't borrow trouble for tomorrow. You don't know what will happen. Everything is conjecture at this point."

Nathan rubbed his forehead, feeling a slight headache starting. "You're right." He sighed again, sinking into his chair and putting his head in his hands. "I've made a mess of things."

Bill put a hand on his shoulder. "It's only a mess if you decide it's a mess. Just talk to Elizabeth, Nathan. Open communication is important in a marriage."

"That could make it worse," Nathan muttered. "If I tell her how I feel about her, and she doesn't feel the same way, where will that leave us?"

Bill shrugged. "Maybe in the same place you are now, or maybe you could find that she's starting to feel the same way. Whatever the case may be, at least you'd be honest with her. That is what's important. Elizabeth values honesty and integrity. If you don't give her that, she'll lose trust in you."

That hard truth went right to Nathan's heart, piercing it like so many arrows. Bill was right. Elizabeth had been upset with him for not telling her about his promotion at Christmas, and their relationship then was much less complicated than it was now. How would she feel if he continued to hide the truth from her and act like he had this morning?

He took a deep breath and nodded. "Thanks, Bill. I'm glad you were straightforward with me."

Bill grunted. "Seems to be the only way to get through to you."

Half a smile crossed Nathan's face. "True." He nodded. "I'll talk to Elizabeth tonight."


"I kissed him, Rosemary."

Rosemary blinked, speechless for a full thirty seconds. The wooden spoon she'd been stirring cake batter with froze and she simply stared at her friend.

Elizabeth squirmed slightly under her gaze, ruffled by Rosemary's lack of words. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

"Uh…" Rosemary put the bowl down, grasping Elizabeth's hands and leading her to the settee, where they both sat. "Okay, do you mind repeating what you said a moment ago? I'm not sure I heard you right."

Elizabeth blushed. "You heard me right. I kissed Nathan. But I didn't realize it was Nathan at the time."

"I sense a story here. Why don't you start at the beginning?" Rosemary's face was a study in utter fascination, Elizabeth thought wryly. But she decided to tell the full story.

"Last night I dreamt about Jack."

Rosemary squeezed her hand in sympathy. "I'm sorry, Elizabeth. Does that happen often?"

"Not so much anymore," Elizabeth admitted. "This was the first time in a while. I dreamt that he was leaving, and I couldn't do anything to stop him. I was begging him not to go, because I knew he wouldn't come back." She sighed. "Apparently I was crying in my sleep."

Rosemary frowned. "How do you know that?"

"Nathan told me this morning."

"I see. Go on," Rosemary prompted.

"I woke up suddenly, and thought I saw Jack sitting in front of me. His face was hidden in the moonlight shining through the window, but I just knew it was him. I was so happy to see that he was back that I kissed him. But of course, it wasn't Jack. It was Nathan. He'd woken me up because I was crying and calling out for Jack."

"Oh my," Rosemary said, a hand on her heart. She looked intently at Elizabeth. "How do you feel about all this?"

"I don't know," Elizabeth whispered. "I have so many conflicting emotions right now."

'And those emotions are…?"

"I was utterly horrified this morning when I realized what had happened. But I won't lie, the kiss was amazing," Elizabeth said, her cheeks red. "Naturally, I thought it was Jack, but even now knowing it was Nathan, my heart jumps at the memory. But then that makes me feel like I'm betraying Jack somehow." She looked down. "And this morning, Nathan was acting so strangely. Obviously he knows what happened, and he thought I didn't remember. Which I didn't at the time. What must he think of me?"

"Did he kiss you back?"

Her blush deepened. "Yes. He most definitely did."

Rosemary smiled. "Elizabeth, circumstances notwithstanding, you're married to Nathan. Jack wanted you to find love and happiness again, and I think you can find both of those with Nathan. I'm pretty sure he's falling for you. Would it be so hard to let yourself fall for him?"

Elizabeth shook her head, already knowing the answer to that. "No, it wouldn't be hard." The thought made her heart lighter. But then she frowned. "But Rosemary, he's so afraid to share his emotions. I need him to be open with me. How do I even begin to encourage him in that?"

Rosemary smiled. "Just love him where he's at, Elizabeth. That's all you can do."

Elizabeth paused, thinking over Rosemary's words. "That's very wise."

Rosemary laughed. "Of course it is! Who do you think you're talking to?"

Laughing, Elizabeth swatted Rosemary's shoulder before becoming serious again. "This all feels so strange, Rosie. Jack and I were courting for so long before he asked me to marry him. That's how it usually is. Now I find myself with a man I could fall in love with, and we're already married but have to figure out how to live that out together. We have to figure out how to truly love each other. It feels so backwards."

"That's because it is," Rosemary acknowledged. "Your situation is not a normal one. You have to navigate married life together and explore your growing feelings. And you have two children in the mix." She shook her head. "But I think we all know that you had some feelings for Nathan before you married him. It was obvious, especially at Christmas. And it was obvious that he had feelings for you, too." She shrugged. "The feelings are clearly there for both of you. Nurture them and let them eventually turn into love."

"As if love is a choice," Elizabeth said dryly.

Rosemary pinned her with a sage look. "I know it's not a popular theory, but love is a choice. Attraction might not be, but you do choose to love someone every single day with your words and actions, hard though it may be." She smiled. "Why, sometimes I have to choose to love Lee, especially when he's getting on my nerves!"

Elizabeth laughed outright. "That is a good point, Rosemary. I'll keep that in mind."

Rosemary nodded as if everything was settled. "Good. Now, I think you and Nathan need to have a talk tonight to clear the air and get rid of the awkwardness that has bloomed from all these unspoken feelings between you two."

Elizabeth nodded, though her stomach clenched at the thought. That kind of vulnerability was scary. But she knew it had to be done. After the kids were put to bed, she would have a talk with Nathan.