A/N: It's the end of the crossover arc. Finally. There were quite a few changes from when I first thought this up, but it ended like I knew it would. Terribly. Another chapter should be out soon. And I mean "soon" soon.


Loners

Sitting next to each other, Hikigaya Hachiman and Accelerator simultaneously crossed their legs and cracked open a can of coffee.

...?

Looking at each other…

They made a quick study.

"…"

Accelerator gave his approval.

"Good tastes."

"Thanks."

The two shared a somewhat complicated, multi-layered handshake.

( Mikoto: Don't start getting along, dang it…! )

One More Visitor!

"Hey hey~! Heard you guys were having a party here!"

The door to the clubroom opened once more revealing another guest.

"Oh, look. It's Ebina Hina, another character of the Yahari fame."

As if reading off a script, Hikigaya Hachiman dully made her introduction.

( Mikoto: Why do they keep coming?-! )

Ebina Hina took a look around the room. Catching the eye of a long blond-haired Level 5, she rushed over to her and took her hands.

"I've heard all about you! You're the one who can read minds right? Is that really true?"

Her eyes sparkled as she invaded Shokuhou Misaki's personal space.

"Err… yeah, that's right."

"Can you read mine as well?"

An extremely rotten feeling reached out at her, and the Number 5 attempted to step back from it.

"Umm, how should I say this… I don't want to."

Insight Check

Ebina Hina smiled. And involuntarily, her surface thoughts started to arise within Shokuhou Misaki's mind.

[ -and pins him to the wall. Hayato whispers in Hikitani's ear, "I'm not as nice as you think I am." Hikitani's face slowly reddens as he feels Hayato's breath tickling his skin. He was blowing his weak spot. Hikitani desperately tries to resist his advance. "N-No. Not here. What if someone sees?" Hayato chuckles. "I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you?" With his free hand, Hayato traces his fingers down his side and grabs his- ]

Before things got further, Hikigaya Hachiman interrupted these thoughts in the real world.

"Hey now. Don't just let someone else prod your mind. There are some things you should only keep to yourself."

Hikigaya Hachiman's thoughts also started to surface within the Number 5's mind.

[ -and pin him to the wall. I whisper in Totsuka's ear, "I'm not as GENUINE as you think I am." Totsuka's face slowly reddens as he feels my breath tickling his skin. I was blowing his weak spot. He desperately tries to resist my advance. "N-No. Not here. What if someone sees?" I chuckle. "I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you?" With my free hand, I trace my fingers down his side and grab his- ]

Yukinoshita Yukino nodded in agreement.

"I agree with Hikigaya-kun. Privacy is not something you should easily throw away."

Yukinoshita's thoughts too…

[ -and pins him to the wall. Panda-san whispers in Hikigaya-kun's ear, "RAAAR RAWR RAWWWR RAAWR." Hikigaya-kun's face slowly reddens as he feels Panda-san's nose tickling his skin. He was licking his weak spot. Hikigaya-kun desperately tries to resist his advance. "GYAAAAAHHH! HELP MEEEE! SOMEONEEEEE!" Panda-san chuckles. "RAWR RAWWWR RAWR." With his free paw, Panda-san traces a claw down his side and grabs his- ]

( Misaki: You're the worst one… )

The Depths

Yuigahama Yui added to the conversation.

"I totally agree. I'd be super creeped out if I knew someone was reading my thoughts. I mean, even if I had nothing to hide, it doesn't feel right, you know?"

Just out of curiosity, Shokuhou Misaki glanced at Yuigahama…

And…

"…"

…!

Yuigahama Yui grabbed onto the Number 5's wrist. The girl stared through her with vacant eyes. She spoke with a low voice.

"Did you see?"

Shokuhou Misaki was profusely sweating.

"I… I didn't…!"

"Good. Let's keep it that way."

A Rubix Festival

Misaka Mikoto was distressed.

They won't leave! I'm trying to get them out, but they won't budge at all! In fact, they're increasing in number!

While everyone's head was turned, the cast grew to include a Christmas cake, a trap, a chubby chuuni, a pretty boy, an imouto, a stuck up popular girl, whatever-the-hell Tobe's archetype is (dumbass maybe), etc. With decreasing space in the clubroom, Misaka Mikoto was forced to strengthen her resolve.

"Okay! This is getting out of hand! All of you need to go-"

The door swung open revealing even more guests!

"Hey. Look. It's the gamer god Katsuragi Keima and normal girl Kousaka Chihiro from TWGOK."

( Chihiro: Don't say normal! )

"Huh?-! What?-! Why?-! These people aren't even from Yahari!"

And following them…

"And it's the Fake Hero Luka and the Monster Lord Alice."

( Luka: Monster Lord? )

( Alice: Just shut up and wave, idiot. )

"Who even in the hell-?-!"

( Hachiman: With this many people, we can play some baseball. )

( Kaori: Preach it! )

Help Please

Misaka Mikoto struggled futilely to end this self-admittedly stupid arc.

"Out! Out! Out! Everyone here needs to get out! I'm sorry, but none of you guys belong here! So go home, dang it!"

No one seemed to hear her. Or at least, no one she wanted. Everyone continued to talk among themselves in this somewhat spontaneous social gathering. And then, Misaka Mikoto felt someone touch her shoulder.

"I can see how you're frustrated with how this party is going. Would you like me to give a hand?"

Sogiita Gunha looked unusually dependable, and so, Misaka Mikoto replied emotionlessly.

"If you could. Please do."

Thus…

Sogiita Gunha took a moment to prepare himself. He spoke in a low growl.

"Amazing…"

And then, catching everyone's attention, he shouted.

"PUNNNNNNNNNNNCH!"

He held a punch bowl in his arms.

"I brought some of this amazing punch! You gotta try it out!"

[ SFX: *celebratory cheering* ]

The End is Nigh

As Sogiita Gunha passed drinks around, Kakine Teitoku saw the Number 3 menacingly walk towards the Number 7's direction. He called out to her.

"Hey. You should ease up a bit."

"Huuh?"

"Relax. Drink some punch. Mingle. It's not every day we get to do something normal like this."

"You call this normal?"

"Also, I think there's a valuable lesson to learn here. Even if you're popular, it doesn't mean much if you still can't do what you want. Rather than the imaginary relationships you gain with popularity, what's really important are personal connections and-"

Misaka Mikoto cut him off.

"Yeah. Thanks. I'm going to go beat the shit out of Gunha now."

She stepped away.

"Hold on. If you go that way, you'll get caught in the crossfi-"

[ SFX: *THWACK!* ]

A baseball hit the girl in the back of her head.

It's a Dream End as Expected

Misaka Mikoto stared up from the floor. Her vision was hazy, but she could see the familiar faces of the other Level 5s.

"O-Of course! It was a dream! I should have realized it from the start…!"

"Dream?"

"Ahdon't worry about it. It was… Just one big fever dream. Yeah."

She pointed at Mugino Shizuri.

"You were there."

She pointed at Accelerator.

"And you were there."

She pointed at Shokuhou Misaki.

"And you were there."

And she pointed…

"And you-"

...

"Ku ku ku! I suppose this may be the first time you've laid your eyes upon a Crimson Demon!"

Regaining her senses, she realized and cried out.

"Nothing's changed at all! Uwaaa~!"

Unfortunately, the room was the same as before.

Twist

"I suppose it's about time we spill the beans."

Hikigaya Hachiman approached Misaka Mikoto, who was beyond mentally torn.

"The truth is…"

He brought out his wallet and showed his ID. As did all the other guests.

"We're all paid actors hired to mess around with you."

"…"

Hikigaya Hachiman(?) called out to the others.

"Alright everyone. Just like we practiced now."

"THIS CROSSOVER WAS WRONG AS EXPECTED."

Misaka Mikoto heard a distinct crack in her mental psyche.


Timeline: 1, 2, 4, x, 3, x, 5, 6, 7

Next Chapter: Accelerator bullies Misaka Mikoto.