A/N: This is a giant reference to something probably no one here has ever watched or heard of. If you get it, props to you. To everyone else, please just go with the flow. Next chapter will start the Gunha Arc.
Some Dreams Are Worth Forgetting
Late at night…
At the Tokiwadai Dormitory…
An electrifying Level 5 was preparing for bed.
"…"
In one smooth motion, she quickly laid back and pulled the covers over herself. She said to herself.
"No weird dreams."
She repeated these words with a tone of utter seriousness.
"No weird dreams."
( Kuroko: Onee-sama's saying something strange again… )
Misaka Mikoto closed her eyes…
Misaka Mikoto's Weird Dream
[ SFX: THOOM! ]
Spotlight.
Misaka Mikoto stands in the center and clears her throat. She reads from a letter.
"It was a cold day."
A dramatic reading.
"I was on my way from cram school when I saw a kitten sitting near the sidewalk. I was afraid I would scare it off by walking too close, so I decided to get on all fours and slowly approach. 'Meow! Meow!' I called out, hoping to get its attention. But as I drew nearer, I realized..."
"It was actually a glove."
[ Please, Scold Me! Miko-chwaaaaan~! ]
The Level 5 takes a breath and responds to the letter.
"ARE YOU KITTEN ME? PAWS AND PAY MORE ATTENTION, DAMN ITTTTTTT!'"
[ Audience: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! ]
As upbeat music starts playing, the lights come on, revealing a stage and a huge crowd. Various people are cheering and jumping up and down. Misaka Mikoto quickly goes to sit with the rest of the panelists.
She pulls the mic in close for the opening.
"Hi-hi~! Welcome to the very first 'Radio Noise Radio' live recording! I hope everyone here is excited!"
[ Audience: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! ]
"My name is Misaka Mikoto, also known as Railgun! And beside me are my cohosts… a piece of white asparagus and a pig."
"OI, OI." (x2)
[ Audience: (laughs) ]
"I'm kidding! I'm kidding!"
The white-haired boy overdramatically rolls his eyes. He leans into his own mic.
"It's Accelerator. Nice to see you all."
The audience cheers as he does his introduction.
"Yeah. Remember to keep that enthusiasm going to the end. It's your fault that we made it this far. So take responsibility by making noise, ya hear?"
[ Audience member: Yatta! ]
"There. Just like that."
[ Audience: (laughs) ]
The third cohost also makes her introduction.
"And I'm Shokuhou Misaki, also known as Mental Out. Please take good care of me."
Shokuhou Misaki does a humble bow.
"What's that now? A marriage interview?"
[ Audience: (laughs) ]
The Number 5 turns to the Misaka Mikoto.
"Ah! Misaka-san! Which would you rather have? Dinner? Bath? Or maybe-"
"Definitely dinner. (Laughs)"
[ Audience: (laughs) ]
Misaka Mikoto turns to the crowd.
"So! I'll try to keep this brief since we don't have much time!"
"For those of you who don't know what 'Radio Noise Radio' is, this is basically a talk show of sorts that discusses Index, Railgun, and all other affiliated media. Kinda. Sorta. Not really. We mostly just randomly talk and play games… and for some reason, we got super popular! (laughs)"
Accelerator makes a comment.
"It really is amazing how everyone bears with our nonsense."
[ Audience: (laughs) ]
"Well! We've got a lot of guests here so everyone… PLEASE BE EXCITED!"
[ Audience: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! ]
"Alright! Let's get this show on the road! Everyone together now…"
"Radio Noise Radio Public Recording Special…"
"START-O!"
[ Today's program was brought to you by these sponsors: Joseph's Coffee and Restaurant, MocRonall's, Benny's, Macronall Hamburger, Julian Restaurant, 326 Ice Cream, and Pizza Hut ]
Misaka Mikoto clears her throat.
"*ahem* Starting from the top…"
"I'm Misaka Mikoto. Mi-sa-ka Mi-ko-to. I'm the Number 3 of Academy City."
"Accelerator. The Number 1."
"Shokuhou Misaki, the Number 5-Oh!"
The Number 3 sums up…
"And with that haphazard intro (laughs) we'll be revealing a group of people with way too much time on their hands."
[ Audience: (laughs) ]
"Everyone make-"
Both Misaka Mikoto and Shokuhou Misaki speak at the same time. They both turn to each other in confusion. Misaka Mikoto asks.
"Ah? Did you want to do it?"
"Ara? It says on the sheet I'm supposed to, but if you-"
"Oh. No, no, no. You can do it."
"It doesn't matter to me. Since you've already started, you can keep-"
"Oh, no-"
"But I insist!"
Accelerator interjects.
"One of you, just read the damn sheet."
[ Audience: (laughs) ]
The Number 5 smiles.
"Ah, got it. Got it. I'll just go ahead then. (laughs)"
Shokuhou Misaki prepares herself.
"Okay~⭐! Everyone make a round of applause for the Number 2 of Academy City… Kakine Teitoku!"
As Kakine Teitoku smugly walks onstage, the audience cheers.
"Yoooo! How's it going? Nice to finally be on one of these!"
Accelerator makes an observation.
"Ah, that's right. This is your first time on Radio Noise Radio, isn't it?"
"Oi, oi. What's with that cool act there? Weren't you the one who asked me to make an appearance? (laughs)"
Thinking briefly…
"Huh? Did that actually happen? I thought the agency took care of that."
"Eh? It was while we were drinking with Shiage and the Etsu. I mean, I can't remember the details since I was plastered, but I'm pretty sure that's how it happened."
"Right. Right. Just take your seat."
"Hey! Seriously remember it! I might cry, you know? (laughs)"
[ Audience: (laughs) ]
As Kakine Teitoku waves and takes a seat, Shokuhou Misaki introduces the second guest.
"And now for everyone's favorite sadist…"
[ Audience: (laughs) ]
"The Number 4! Mugino Shizuri!"
The audience cheers notably louder than it did for Kakine Teitoku. The Number 4 walks onstage garbed in a kimono.
( Mikoto: Wah! So pretty! )
( Accelerator: A genuine [ cool beauty ]. )
( Misaki: She's like a doll! )
Mugino Shizuri makes a formal bow and says…
"Hello. It's a pleasure to be here."
Shokuhou Misaki comments.
"You had a prior engagement before coming here didn't you? I hope things didn't get too tight on the scheduling side…"
"You shouldn't worry about that."
The Number 4 shakes off the notion.
"In general, I have the ability to start and end meetings with a wave of my hand."
( Mikoto: Ah, this girl is kinda scary, isn't she… )
( Accelerator: That's what you call a real ojou-sama. )
As Mugino Shizuri takes a seat, Shokuhou Misaki introduces the final guest.
"And finally… and unfortunately… a person who should really hold himself back a bit more…"
[ Audience: (laughs) ]
"It's the Number 7, Sogiita Gunha!"
"Hey-hey-hey everybody!"
The Number 7 struts onstage with a jolly smile.
( Misaki: Ah… there he is… )
"Oh, I guess since I was specifically told to hold back… I'll practice some restraint."
Sogiita Gunha crosses his arms and nods to himself.
"But since this is a live show… and everyone sorta expects it, there's no harm in showing a little bit of guts."
Sogiita Gunha starts unbuckling his belt.
[ Audience: Wooooooooo! ]
[ Mikoto and Misaki: Stop-stop-stop! ]
Sogiita Gunha stops much to the panelists relief and to the audience's disappointment. Accelerator tells him.
"Since this is live, there's a limit to how much we can censor and edit in post-production. If possible, we should try to do this in one cut."
"Oh. So no edits, huh?"
It seems like the gears are turning the Number 7's mind.
( Mikoto: Oi! Whatever you're thinking, disregard it! Please! What happened to restraint?-! )
"I'll keep it in mind! Don't worry!"
As Sogiita Gunha buckles himself again and takes a seat, Shokuhou Misaki closes off.
"And with that, that ends introductions!"
Taking it from there, Misaka Mikoto continues.
"Let's go ahead and dive into our first segment!"
[ Raildex Double Talk! ]
[ Audience: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! ]
Misaka Mikoto explains the segment.
"For those unfamiliar, this is an ad-lib game where… we make people say stupid things (laughs). Um, well… everyone should a have a drawing in front of them of two characters in a situation. Simply put, those not involved with the drawing will fill out the dialogue for these two characters to say live, right here, right now. Not much else to it!"
Misaka Mikoto continues.
"So! If we can have the Number 1 and Number 2 stand up…"
She motions for the two boys to stand.
"We'll be having you say some double talk!"
Revealing the picture…
[ Accelerator is looking down on Kakine Teitoku with a smirk. Kakine Teitoku is crying while on his hands and knees. ]
( Teitoku: Oi! The heck is this?-! *laughs* )
( Accelerator: This is the first time I'm seeing this, but I'm glad it turned out this way. )
( Teitoku: What's up with that?-! *laughs* )
Misaka Mikoto begins the segment.
"And with that…"
[ Thinking time! Start-O! ]
[ A catchy beat starts playing as everyone but Accelerator and Kakine starts thinking of contextual dialogue. ]
( Shizuri: The song's not bad. )
( Mikoto: Yeah. )
( Gunha: So I can have them say anything, right? )
( Misaki: Within reason. )
( Gunha: I see. )
( Misaki: I don't think you understand. )
( Gunha: No, no. I understand just fine. )
( Misaki: Just… try to keep it clean. )
( Accelerator: They're really thinking hard, huh? )
( Teitoku: I've got a bad feeling…)
About a minute passes and a buzzer sounds.
[ Thinking time! Stop! ]
Kakine Teitoku grimaces.
"I can't help but think that this isn't going to go well for me…"
Accelerator nods.
"You're probably right."
"You're supposed to comfort me, you know?"
"Am I?"
The two boys receive the answers from the other panelists. Accelerator read off the first name.
"This first one… it's from Gunha, isn't it?"
"…"
Accelerator pats the Number 2 on the back as they read the dialogue to themselves. Kakine Teitoku turns his head to the Number 7.
"Oi."
"Remember to give it your all!"
Biting his lip, Kakine Teitoku responds in kind.
"Oh. Yeah, yeah. Got it."
He smiles dryly.
And so…
Giving it their all…
[ Gunha's Panel ]
The scene:
Kakine Teitoku is utterly defeated. Accelerator looks down at the Number 2 with a self-satisfied grin. Not holding back, Accelerator taunts.
"I bet it's only 3 inches."
Kakine Teitoku meagerly says back.
"Y-You bastard! (How does he know?)"
[ Audience: (laughs) (whistles) (cheers) ]
Misaka Mikoto looks up at the ceiling.
"We really set the bar low, didn't we? (laughs)"
Shokuhou Misaki shakes her head and tries to move things along
"L-Let's not dwell on this one too long! Next drawing please!"
The two boys look at the next submission.
"This one is from Misaki."
( Misaki: Ah! It's mine! )
The two boys nod to each other and prepare themselves. Giving it their all…
[ Misaki's Panel ]
The scene:
Kakine Teitoku is utterly defeated. Accelerator looks down at the Number 2 with a self-satisfied grin. Not holding back, Accelerator taunts.
"So I spoke with management and well… Season 3 never."
Kakine Teitoku meagerly says back.
"W-What about the fans?-!"
[ Audience: (laughs) ]
Kakine Teitoku comments.
"That's a bit of low blow, doncha' think?"
"It's funny. I'll give it a pass."
Sogiita Gunha chimes in.
"But really now. A third season is long due, right? Is that ever happening?"
At that Mugino Shizuri answers.
"To be honest, I'd rather J.C. Staff concentrate their budget and efforts on Shokugeki no *oma."
"Never picked you for a fan."
"For me, it's a cathartic experience really."
Moving on… Kakine Teitoku reads the next submission.
"And this one here is from… Mikoto-san."
The two boys look at the dialogue. Kakine Teitoku is noticeably perplexed.
"I get it."
Accelerator says.
"Really? Can you explain it to me?"
"Maybe later."
And so…
Giving it their all…
[ Mikoto's Panel ]
Kakine Teitoku is utterly defeated. Accelerator looks down at the Number 2 with a self-satisfied grin. Not holding back, Accelerator taunts.
"…and so I squeeze the mayonnaise on the egg. I call it the mayonegg."
Kakine Teitoku meagerly says back.
"Sounds delicious!"
[ Audience: (laughs) ]
( Mikoto: *laughs* )
"Oi, oi! She's laughing at her own joke! (laughs)"
( Mikoto: I can't help it! )
The Number 2 persists.
"Really, what's this supposed to mean?"
"Well… if you watch the movie Jaws backwards, it's about a shark that throws up enough people to fill a beach."
"Eh? (laughs)"
( Mikoto: *laughs* )
"It's fine. Just… next one. Do the next one."
"Sure, sure. (laughs)"
Kakine Teitoku reads off.
"This one is from Mugino-san. Well… with her being an S, I can only imagine good things coming up."
The Number 4 interjects.
"Actually, I'm more of an M than an S."
"Mmm? Really?"
Mugino Shizuri nods.
"Yes. You see-"
[ We're sorry for the interruption, but a really inappropriate conversation is taking place. Your scheduled programming will return shortly. Thank you for your patience. ]
"Editing point here."
Accelerator raises his hand for the camera.
( Shizuri: Huh? )
"Just helping out the editors as much as I can."
"I see."
Kakine Teitoku continues where he left off.
"Getting back to the game…"
The two boys take a look at the dialogue. This time, both of them are confused.
Noticing their expression, the Number 4 calls out.
"Give it your all."
"…"
"I guess… why not?"
Giving it their all…
[ Shizuri's Panel ]
Kakine Teitoku is utterly defeated. Accelerator looks down at the Number 2 with a self-satisfied grin. Not holding back, Accelerator taunts.
"QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!"
Kakine Teitoku meagerly says back.
"I-I never knew that he could speak duck!"
[ Audience: (laughs) ]
Kakine Teitoku scratches the back of his head.
"Everything's divulging into madness here! (laughs)"
( Accelerator: Eugh… my throat's starting to hurt… )
Mugino Shizuri speaks up.
"Should I explain it?"
"Please do."
"Ah, well. The first season of Index had a special. In that, there was a joke where Accelerator was quacking while holding up a plasma ball… and, vocally, it was surprisingly intense. I just wanted to see if Accelerator could do it again."
"Well. There's your answer."
[ Abrupt cut to a post-recording ]
In a small room, six people were gathered.
( Mikoto: Hey everyone! It looks like you've reached the end of Part 1 of… however many videos this might break into. *shrugs* )
( Gunha: Huh? You don't know? *laughs* )
( Mikoto: It's all post-production! Those guys figure that stuff out, not me! *laughs* )
( Misaki: Anyhow, thanks for sticking with us so far! Hopefully we'll see each other soon! )
( Mikoto: I'm Misaka Mikoto! )
( Misaki: Shokuhou Misaki. )
( Teitoku: Kakine Teitoku. )
( Shizuri: Mugino Shizuri. )
( Gunha: Sogiita Gunha! )
( Accelerator: QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! )
( Mikoto: Oi, oi! Don't do that, dang it! )
( Accelerator: I'm [REDACTED]. Until next time. )
( Everyone: Bye-bye! )
Sometimes Reality is the Nightmare
A smooth transition to Misaka Mikoto sitting up in bed…
"..."
...
At this point, Misaka Mikoto vowed to stop sleeping.
She would later break this promise the following night.
Suggested Post-Reading Listening: "fake!fake!" by A Crow is White
Timeline: 10, 1, 2, 4, 8, 9, x, 3, x, 5, 6, 7, x, 11
Next Chapter: Sogiita Gunha reveals something shocking!
