Note: Essentially, there's a twist in each act. This sort of technique may become tiresome to viewers if used ad infinitum, but as long as something new and interesting is brought to the table, it can be partially forgiven.
An Interview with Misfortune I
A certain unlucky star was being interviewed. He sat opposite of Kinuhata Saiai.
"So… What can you tell me about yourself?"
"Well… My right hand has the power to negate any supernatural phenomena. And for some reason I can regrow my arm whenever someone cuts it off. There's also a couple of dragons residing somewhere inside me too, but I'm not entirely sure how that works. Precog is a thing. And… um… I once stood on a saint's sword and got launched into a woman 10 meters away, punching her in the face at sonic speeds. In short, I'm just a normal high school boy."
"Good. Good. Super good."
She asked another question.
"Do you have any catch phrases?"
"Let's see… There's 'fukou da'… 'I'll destroy that illusion'… and 'have you ever heard of thermal expansion?' That last one didn't take off like I thought it would."
The girl nodded sympathetically.
"Any pets?"
"I have a cat. A crab. Do fairies count?"
The girl frowned. Her tone was displeased.
"Did it used to be a Magic God?"
"…Yes?"
Super Director Kinuhata sucked in her breath.
"That's not a problem, is it?"
"Mm… No. Not really. But it's kinda stupid."
An Interview with Misfortune II
The interview continued.
"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
"Umm… Still in high school, looking the same way I do now. Still no Index 3 though."
"Naturally."
The girl glanced over her notes.
"Do you mind being paid in tickets?"
"Tickets?"
"If you collect enough, you'll be able to redeem them for Mugino points."
"And those are…?"
"Oh, they're super useful. You see, if Mugino ever tries to super murder you, you can spend a Mugino point to stop her advance. Only for a few seconds though, so you gotta save up."
"Can't say I know who this Mugino is, but it certainly sounds useful. I'm game."
"Super."
Super Director Kinuhata finished off.
"And one last question: How do feel about being in front of a camera?"
Smooth Sailing
The spiky-haired boy left the room feeling somewhat satisfied. He bid farewell to the few smiling faces inside the room before the door closed in.
And then… Strangely… The atmosphere grew thick…
Misaka Mikoto firmly sat in her chair. She glared across the table.
"…"
On the other side, Shokuhou Misaki stared back with an equally serious expression.
"…"
Paying no mind to it, Super Director Kinuhata seemed relieved.
"Man! We super lucked out by finding an actor so soon! I don't expect you all to be on camera, but it takes some pressure off knowing that not everyone will have to-"
"Misaka-san. Weren't you about to leave?"
"Whatever gave you that idea?"
Kinuhata Saiai's expression became frozen as her character slowly faded off into the background.
"Hmm? I vaguely recall you asserting that you had no intention to participate, since this type of activity is far beyond the duties of our current experiment. Also, did you not already say your goodbyes?"
"You must have heard wrong. I have no intention of going anywhere. As the titular member of the Misaka Mikoto fan club, it's my responsibility to oversee every activity, even if it's not to my liking. Rather, what about you? You voted against the movie did you not? If it makes you uncomfortable, you're free to leave. In fact, go on ahead. Pretty sure we can manage without you."
"Ah, that was a misunderstanding. You see, I'm actually a tsundere. The idea of taking part in a movie actually fills me with superfluous joy. It really is a sickness. But seeing how you've decided to stay… I have to say that I look forward to watching you work on the… production… side of things. It relieves me greatly knowing that the diligent Misaka-san is present… behind the scenes."
"Instead of relying on me, how about you pull your own weight, bitch?"
...
The Super Director felt a comforting pat on the shoulder. Sogiita Gunha gave her a thumbs up.
"This is great! Looks like we're all on board!"
"Don't touch me!"
Nuisances
Super Director Kinuhata gathered her bearings. She tapped a stack of papers on the long table and began describing her plan of action.
"Okay. So for the script, I was thinking-"
"Yo. Who's gonna be the female lead?"
The Number 3 projected her voice while she and the Number 5 were locked in a staring contest.
"I would also like to know who will be cast."
…
At the advent of dealing with two super pain in the asses, the Super Director sighed.
"…it's great that we just got ourselves an actor and all, but should we really be talking about casting before finalizing the script?"
"Yes. Let's."
"Shall we take this outside then?"
"Gladly."
The two girls simultaneously stood up from their seats and walked out of the clubroom.
"…"
Kinuhata Saiai quickly went over to the door and locked it.
Pulling Curtains
Super Director Kinuhata lectured.
"It probably shouldn't be said, but I'll go ahead and say it. I'll promise not to go on super long.
"There are two components to a good movie: good writing and good acting.
"Both need to exist, otherwise you'll have a super dud. A good script will fall flat with a bad performance. And likewise, a good actor can rarely carry a movie all by himself. For the most part, this is common knowledge to everyone who is familiar with cinema; however, I believe there's a third component.
"And that is… Love.
"A movie that exudes love, that raw emotion, that overbearingly tingly sensation… can overcome anything! You see this in B-tier movies all the time! I mean, sure, maybe the camera lens was covered in jelly in that one scene, or maybe that actor looked a little too old to be a high schooler, or even if the audio never synced quite right, as long as there's love… people will super get it! You know what I'm saying?
"That said…
"We don't have to try all that hard!
"Shoddy writing with passible characterizations can pull through with love!
"The goal is 4 reviews per chapter! Everyone with me!"
…
The room fell silent.
"Too much? Is that too much? O-Okay… I'll reel it back then…"
Delegation
A while had passed since ITEM had taken control…
Breathing a sigh of relief, Super Director Kinuhata softly declared.
"Alright. Finally. We're done."
Behind her was a whiteboard completely filled with scribbles of various plotlines. A clear through line had been decided. The Super Director slapped her cheeks to regain some energy.
"Okay! All that's left now is to decide who's doing what!"
The girl began assigning tasks.
"I suppose the main lead has already been decided. So then… Takitsubo… do you mind being the antagonist?"
"I'll do my best…"
Super Director Kinuhata started checking off check boxes on a piece of paper.
"The Number 2 will have a support role. Mugino will be in charge of hair and makeup. The Number 1 will…"
Looking up, she blankly acknowledged Accelerator.
"…"
Looking back down on her clipboard…
"The Number 1 will be the coffee boy."
( Accelerator: I am… surprisingly okay with that. )
And then the Super Director topped it off.
"And all the boring stuff will be Hamazura's problem to deal with later."
It's the Title that Matters
The Number 7's hand shot up.
"…"
The girl looked to the side for a moment before recognizing him.
"What is it?"
"I want an important role! No, I want a super important role!"
"That so, huh?"
Blinking several times, she decided.
"I got it. You'll be the Director of Practical Effects."
"Aww yeaaaah!"
As Sogiita Gunha celebrated by pumping his arms, the Number 4 tapped Kinuhata Saiai on the shoulder. She leaned in.
"I think it's unwise to give him any responsibilities."
"Don't worry. Anything he does, we can super replace it with CG anyway."
Victor
After distributing duties to everyone, Super Director Kinuhata clapped her hands together.
"If there are no objections so far, then let's call the meeting to an end!"
The girl felt quite content with what was achieved so far.
"Don't forget that we're meeting up super early tomorrow morning! And if everything goes as planned, we can even start filming!"
Takitsubo Rikou spoke up.
"Ah… but a female lead hasn't been chosen yet…"
"…"
For some reason, Kinuhata Saiai lost some energy.
"Oh, that's right… well, it'd make super sense for one of 'those two' to get the role. I'm mean, they're fighting over it as we speak."
She sighed audibly.
[ SFX: *knocking* ]
"Huh? Did a winner get decided? It's about damn time."
Meandering over to the door, the Super Director greeted the person on the other side.
However, it was neither Misaka Mikoto nor Shokuhou Misaki.
"…"
"You're hired."
"E-Ehh?-! F-For what?-! I didn't say anything yet!"
Literally Who
At that time…
Shokuhou Misaki received a text.
"Huh?"
She immediately ordered her followers to drop their weapons.
"Cease fire! Cease fire!"
The message:
[ Since you guys took too long, I made the super executive order to cast you as extras. The female lead will be played by Es- ]
In the half-destroyed, half-burning convenience store, the Number 5 heard Misaka Mikoto start shouting.
"Who the hell is Estelle Rosenthal…?-!"
The blonde shouted back.
"I don't know! I'm checking the wiki right now!"
Timeline (condensed): 10, 1, 2, 4, 8, 9, 19-23, x, 3, x, 12-17, x, 5-7, x, 11
Next Scene: Filming starts! And… A blossoming love?
Extra: Out of Focus
An event outside of club activities…
A certain electrifying Level 5 was wandering the halls of the testing facility. Having left her bag in the clubroom, she ventured back while humming a tuneless song.
"WaWaWa Wasuremono…"
She stopped upon hearing a discussion.
[ "Teacher! I don't understand how this happened! I just got here and suddenly I'm thrown into some nonsensical situation from the start? I don't get this at all!" ]
[ "Yeah. That's pretty much how it works around here." ]
[ "A-Are you not taking me seriously…? I mean, really! A movie is just… There's just no way…" ]
[ "If you're doubting yourself, you don't have to force yourself to do anything." ]
…
The voice became quieter…
[ "N… No… It's not like I'm doubting myself. In fact… it sounds like it might be fun… And I guess… I suppose… ]
And even quieter…
[ "…spending time with you…" ]
[ "Did you say something?" ]
[ "Ah! No! I didn't! Umm! That's right! F-Food! That child wanted me to give you a bento!" ]
A shuffling of noise…
[ "Umm! I'll be on my way! Sorry for bothering you, Teacher!" ]
As the clubroom door opened, a blonde-haired girl with black ribbons scrambled out. Spotting the electrifying esper in the hallway, she nervously nodded toward her before quickly continuing on her way.
And as soon as she was out of sight… the esper's mouth slowly went agape...
Eh?
