A/N: Everything is going as planned. The nth-child arc will end soon.
Catching Up
A phone call between lab members:
[ *click-click* ]
[ "Hey. Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. I've been a little busy on my end." ]
[ "I can imagine. After all, you abandoned your phone at the testing facility and ran off with no other way to contact you." ]
[ "Err… Yeah… Well, that was… I have my phone now. That's all that matters." ]
[ "Moron." ]
[ "Errrgh!" ]
[ "Are you still searching?" ]
[ "Yeah. Still searching. And no progress. I'm starting to run out of ideas on where to look…" ]
[ "Where have you gone so far?" ]
[ "Well… you know. Construction sites. Train yards. Coffee shops. Locations of that ilk. Those seem like spots Accelerator would gravitate to, right?" ]
…
[ "Have you tried areas like playgrounds, arcades, or movie theaters?" ]
[ "Mm? No way. I doubt he'd step anywhere near those kinds of places. Clashes too much with his image." ]
[ "Are you sure? Because, from what I hear, this Accelerator is just a child." ]
[ "…" ]
…
[ "Mind if I call you back in half-an-hour?" ]
[ "Multitask. Walking and talking isn't hard." ]
Catching Up II
A faster pace…
[ "I wasn't there for the entire conversation, but… you've figured out how to get things back to normal, right?" ]
[ "Yes and no." ]
[ "…Huh?" ]
[ "Time travel isn't that simple." ]
[ "Time travel…?" ]
[ "Would you like me to explain?" ]
[ "Err… pass. I probably wouldn't understand even if you hooked me up to one of your Testament machines." ]
[ "That sounds like a bet. I can easily arrange that if you'd like to try." ]
[ "How about comparing it to something I can relate to. Are we talking 'B*ck to the Future' time travel or the '12 M*nkeys' kind?" ]
[ "Well… I suppose it's akin to time travel in Teenage Mutant N*nja T*rtles. The third one." ]
[ "Oh. Gotcha. I totally get it." ]
Problem
Bluntly…
[ "I did research on the anomaly we saw this afternoon. Apparently, there was an incident approximately *REDACTED* years ago involving something similar." ]
[ "And that's where the present-Accelerator is now? Err, 'when' I guess." ]
[ "I can't say. All records of that incident were 'allegedly' destroyed." ]
[ "Allegedly…?" ]
[ "The person I spoke to said that the servers holding all this information were fried from a terrorist incident a while back. It was a 'boy' with electrical powers that liked to vandalize research facilities. And unfortunately, the data we need got caught up in one of the raids." ]
[ "I see. I see. And let me guess. This information is now 'lost forever' because no one ever bothered to make a backup…? Seems a little contrived." ]
[ "There was a backup. It was called Tree Diagram, and that was 'allegedly' shot down by a magical laser beam." ]
…
[ "…okay. Fine. I'll give Academy City the benefit of the doubt. Which I really shouldn't, but for the sake of time, I'm just going to. So where do we go from here?" ]
[ "Nowhere. There's nothing we can do." ]
[ "…What?" ]
[ "Even if we had the technology to time travel, it's impossible to pinpoint where and when we need to go with this many uncertain factors. At least, this is beyond the scope of what the two of us can handle." ]
[ "…" ]
…
[ "We've hit a wall. There's no choice but to-" ]
[ "Wait… Wait-wait-wait… Just… Hold on a second… There's no need to get anyone else involved…" ]
Solution
…
[ "…?" ]
[ "What if… What if, it's not as bad as you think?" ]
[ "…" ]
[ "It's just time travel, right? It's not like Accelerator became helpless or anything like that. He's… just stuck in the past, that's all. And that means… That means…
[ "…huh?
[ "Oh… Oh, wait-wait-wait!
[ "Oh fuck… I'm a goddamned genius!" ]
[ "What are yo-" ]
[ "Remember?-! Way back, like seven chapters ago?-! Like 28, I think? There was that researcher who had that machine that did nothing but conserve mass, or whatever-the-hell that means!" ]
[ "I can… recall him, yes..." ]
[ "Here me out. What if… Accelerator was the one who got him to make that. In the past." ]
…
[ "I… don't know about that…" ]
[ "No. Listen. The pieces were there from the start! Accelerator pulled some timey-wimey shenanigans so we can get to this point. You're right that we don't have the tech to do time travel. But what if… Accelerator already figured this stuff out? That's vector manipulation, right? Hit him with something and he figures it out?" ]
…
[ "I suppose… the full extent of Accelerator's analytical abilities hasn't been realized… So it's not impossible…
[ "And building onto that idea, I suppose it's also possible that… if Accelerator already built a time machine in the past… That mass-conserving apparatus could actually serve as a receiver of some sort to that time machine…" ]
[ "Yeah, yeah! And Reseracher T? I bet that 'T' stands for 'time machine'!" ]
[ "That's stretching too far." ]
Accelerator and Shiage
[ "It's worth a shot, don't you think? We get the past-Accelerator to that machine, and we'll just see what happens from there. If nothing happens, then nothing happens." ]
[ "…" ]
[ "Not a bad idea, right?" ]
…
[ "Hamazura-san…
[ "Why are you…
[ "So against getting others involved…?" ]
[ "…" ]
…
[ "Before… you asked me why I would choose to associate myself with dangerous people. Like Mugino. And like Accelerator.
[ "Maybe… it's to remind me of how weak I actually am. And how huge that gap really is.
[ "I'm aware of my status as a Level 0. And I know what it's like to go up against someone who can kill without a second thought. Intentional or not.
[ "Right now…
[ "I can see a threat.
[ "There exists a version of Accelerator that isn't gimped. He doesn't need a cane to walk. Or a choker to think. And that's… dangerous. Extremely dangerous.
[ "It's not his fault in any way… But his existence here spells out too much trouble. If he gets in the wrong hands, I can only imagine bad things happening. So… it's best to make him disappear. The sooner, the better, and if at all possible, without noise." ]
…
[ "I'll admit it. I'm not wanting to bring back the present-Accelerator out of goodwill. I want him back because he's less of a hassle to deal with.
[ "If you're under the impression that I'm on Accelerator's side, I'm not.
[ "I'm on the side that lets me sleep better at night." ]
Complicated Morality
…
Elsewhere, near an unguarded facility…
A chain-link fence rattled as a 14-year-old girl briskly climbed over. Landing on both her feet, she called out to the small white-haired boy on the other side.
"Alright. Your turn."
"..."
Staring up at the fence.
And staring at the girl…
He made an obvious statement.
"This is trespassing."
( Accelerator-kun: And you seem oddly used to this. )
Misaka Mikoto blinked.
"And?"
…
"I mean, it's illegal."
The girl blinked again.
"I'm not sure what you're getting at here."
Unknown Territory
The two strolled down a dimly lit path. Accelerator-kun studied the surrounding vegetation with a passing interest.
"What is this place? It's a little too green to be a lab."
"That's because it isn't. We're in a zoo."
…
It took a moment for it to register. Once it did…
Accelerator-kun made a vacant expression.
"…ehhhhh?"
( Mikoto: What's with that face?-! Zoos are awesome! )
( Accelerator-kun: Is that so… )
Continuing on…
The boy pressed forward while thinking to himself.
I guess this is a… zoo date? Are zoos supposed to be romantic?
No, no. Don't get ahead of yourself. The word 'date' might have been used back there, but there's definitely more to this than you think. It's best to keep your guard up and figure out what she's scheming rather than get blind-sighted by it later.
This girl… she's absolutely planning something. Unquestionably.
"…?"
The white-haired boy lost sight of Misaka Mikoto. Panicking slightly, he took a quick look around the area, and…
( Mikoto: Hey! Hey! Over here! Let's go here! Hurry up! Hurry up! Slowpooooke~! )
He saw the girl at the entrance of a nearby exhibit. She hopped up and down excitedly while waving her arms.
Staring blankly at this scene…
Or she could be an idiot… It's hard to tell…
Jokes
Following her to the leopard exhibit…
"You see that leopard sleeping there? It attacked a human once. I guess you could that whole incident a 'cat'-astrophy."
"…"
…
To the grizzly exhibit…
"Hmm? I don't see any animals. The bears must be hi-'bear'-nating now."
"…"
…
To the underwater exhibit…
"Ever wonder what the first human to tame a dolphin was thinking? I mean, for what the 'porpoise'? Am I right?"
"…"
…
To the 'Australian Experience' exhibit...
"I hear that only the most 'koala'-fied staff can-"
Abruptly cutting her off…
"Did you bring me here just so you can make animal puns?-!"
…
Misaka Mikoto looked away.
Walls
Accelerator-kun felt something was off…
And perhaps…
A piece of Misaka Mikoto's mask chipped away.
"…"
The girl spoke with a despairing reluctance.
"Ah… So you noticed…"
"Of course I noticed! It's annoying!"
Lowering her hollow gaze…
"Ah…
"Ah… Ah…
"The truth is… I've been playing a tsukkomi role for so long, I think I might have forgotten how to be a boke… It's not easy being funny, and the zoo was the only place I could think of going to…
"For animal puns…"
Why is every girl I meet so frickin' weird?-!
The girl roughly grabbed onto the boy's shoulders. She had a desperate look.
"Give it back…! Give me back my tsukkomi role…! It feels wrong not being 'the voice of reason'…!"
"What's wrong with you?-! You're scaring me!"
Walls II
Popping back up, Misaka Mikoto returned to her previous cheerful state.
"And that's what people call 'crazy-boke'."
"You've certainly got that 'crazy' part down pat!"
Calming down…
Accelerator-kun let out a breath.
"Why is everyone around me is so obsessed with manzai routines and punchlines? It's not like we're in some kind of comedy."
At this, the Number 3 gave the small child an almost-pitying expression.
( Accelerator-kun: What's that look for? )
( Mikoto: It's nothing. )
Misaka Mikoto asked an honest question.
"Has anyone ever told you that you need to lighten up?"
"…Eh?"
"Seriously. How about you tell me a joke?"
"Why would I-"
The girl raised a finger, interrupting him.
"Because. If you ever want girls to like you, you need to show that you can have fun."
"…"
The white-haired boy became quiet.
Walls III
"…"
…
Accelerator-kun briefly looked to the side… and then back towards Misaka Mikoto.
"What do you call…"
He stopped.
And immediately went red in the face.
"Ara? Why'd you stop? You were so close!"
The boy's reason caught up to him again.
"This is stupid! I have nothing to prove to you!"
"But you had a joke in mind, right? Was it pun? It definitely was a pun!"
"Shuddup! It wasn't!"
"You should have finished it so I could have made fun of your stupid sense of humor! Idiooot! Idioooot!"
"I said it wasn't a pun!"
"Really? Than what was it? What was the joke going to be then?"
"As if I'd say it now!"
Black Lie
As Accelerator-kun began fuming…
Misaka Mikoto raised a hand to her mouth to stifle a laugh.
"And what are you finding so funny now?-!"
"Ah… no. It's not like that. I just… I didn't think you'd be this fun to tease."
…
The boy gritted his teeth.
Getting tired of being pulled around, Accelerator-kun finally confronted her.
"This is some kind of ploy, isn't it? Taking me to a place like this… What are you after?"
…
It was hard to read behind her smile.
And perhaps… there was really nothing more to it.
"I said it before, right? This is a da-"
"I don't believe it. Tell me. Why are you being so familiar?"
…
Her smile weakened.
Black Lie II
Misaka Mikoto briefly closed her eyes.
And when she opened them…
"You realize, this is the future, right? Or… to you, this is the future. To me, it's the present."
"…"
…
Accelerator-kun hesitated before answering.
"…Yeah. I know."
…
The Number 3 continued on.
"There are a lot of things you don't know about this world. From your point in time to this point right now, there's a lot that's happened. Enough to fill 39+ light novels worth of content not including spinoffs and the like.
"Honestly, I'm not sure whether it would a good idea to tell you about these events or not. I feel like I'd cause a world-ending paradox if I did. So, right now, let's not worry about all those fuzzy details. Just know one thing."
Misaka Mikoto bent down to the small boy's level. And she gave him a warm expression.
"Just know that… I'm your friend."
Black Lie III
…
Accelerator-kun blinked.
"Friend?"
He vaguely remembered Misaka Mikoto's harsh gaze in the clubroom earlier that day.
"Friend."
The girl looked him in the eye as she reintroduced herself.
"A formal introduction without any convoluted plot developments. My name is Misaka Mikoto. I promise you, I am not a narcissist. Though, I will admit that I'm somehow a member of my own fanclub."
…
"…"
The white-haired boy was in no position to know what was true or false. All he had to go on was the face in front of him. And what he saw was…
A good girl.
…
The boy turned from her gaze. Scratching the back of his head…
"Erm… nice to meet you…"
Give and Take
With that…
Misaka Mikoto stood straight up and put her hands on her hips.
"I know I sorta just dragged you out here, but is there another place you would like to go?"
"…?"
Accelerator-kun noticed.
"Wait. So you have no intention to bring me to any lab? No ulterior motives or whatever?"
"Even if I did, I wouldn't be in any hurry to do so. I mean, since you're here, we might as well have a little fun, right?"
The white-haired boy was somewhat blown away by that answer.
"Err… Well then… I guess I'm kinda hungry…"
"Ara? I know a good ramen place nearby. How about we go there? (Though, I should say that, typically, girls don't like slurping noodles around guys. But since I'm kinda craving it, it's a pass. Just keep that in mind for future reference.)"
Misaka Mikoto started heading off and motioned for him to come along. The white-haired boy followed a few steps behind.
"A-Ah… on second thought. I don't have any money, so maybe-"
Cut off.
"Don't worry. It's on me. In exchange, you can call me 'Onee-chan'."
…
Accelerator-kun stared blankly.
"That's the trade off, huh?"
"Oi. That's the least you can do as a freeloader."
No Remorse
Traveling along…
The two eventually returned back to Academy City's concrete jungle.
"…"
Accelerator-kun stared at the back of Misaka Mikoto's head.
"Hey. Aneki."
"…Eh?"
The Number 3 reacted. Albeit slowly.
"Oh. You mean me. As I said, you should call me 'Onee-chan'."
"Aneki."
To the girl's dismay, he seemed adamant on using that word. Accelerator-kun went on.
"Err… I was just wondering…"
Looking away, he did his best to conceal his embarrassment.
"Between you and the future me, are we-"
"Not a chance. Don't get ahead of yourself."
An immediate response.
And maybe a little too blunt, as the boy felt something shatter from the flat rejection.
"Huh?-! B-But…! You asked me out on a date! This is supposed to be a date, right?-!"
"Absolutely. A date. A play date. It's not like I have any romantic feelings for you."
"…"
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…
Sequence
The boy went from hiding his embarrassment to hiding his dejection.
"I see… Well, that's good then."
"Mm? Something wrong?"
"It's nothing."
Brushing the topic aside, he continued to follow her lead.
And…
…
"…"
Misaka Mikoto stopped upon seeing a frazzled Hamazura Shiage. He paced quickly while talking on his cell phone.
…
…
If I could interject myself here…
I'd like to take a moment and point out something as the author to this bizarre, gag-based fanfic.
From the beginning to the end, nth-child is a fairly simple story.
There are no twists or turns. No world-ending paradoxes.
There exists a set of specific events that will ultimately be followed, no matter what. A definite timeline.
At the end of every chapter, I've included this roadmap. And even went out of my way to tell the story out of sequence to erase any misconception that things could end differently.
Everyone should realize the outcome of the nth-child arc. The present-Accelerator will return. The past-Accelerator will disappear. Or go back to wherever he came from. The seven Level 5s will sit back at that table in silence, more or less. Normality, in the loosest sense, will return.
I wouldn't be so foolish as to throw away all this work.
So…
Happy End
Misaka Mikoto will approach Hamazura Shiage to discuss Accelerator-kun's situation.
"…"
Eventually, they will see that having him stay is, of course, a bad idea. And the two will set out to take him back to the past.
"…"
In a stroke of luck, Hamazura Shiage was right about the time machine. Mostly anyway. The time machine works as intended and another time swap takes place.
"Take my hand. We're leaving."
And the next day, Last Order and Fremea Seivelun will wait for an Accelerator-kun that will never appear. In a somewhat sad but predictable way, they'll eventually forget about him.
"H-Huh? Why are we running?-! You're pulling too hard!"
A few days after that, Project Super Seven will continue as per usual.
"It's… a shortcut! But we gotta hurry!"
These are the events that will preserve the status quo. These are the events that will reset everything back to zero.
"How much of a shortcut is it if we have to run?-!"
Thus, nth-child will end on an unremarkable and abrupt note.
…
But…
Well…
Misaka Mikoto…
I hope you realize that… If we keep going down this path…
Only bad things can happen.
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