A/N: It seems like a lot of things happened since I've last updated. And this probably isn't the update people have been looking for. The next chapter should continue the Reverie Reversal arc, though I might do something before even that. Well, I just wanted to put this out there. As always, it's best not to take things too seriously.
[ CLASSIFIED INFORMATION ]
In a secluded alleyway…
A shadowy figure stepped forward. An intrusive thick fog masked any identifying features, but the silhouette gave the impression of an older man.
He spoke calmly. Collectedly.
"What is Project Super Seven?
"What is this experiment that gathers Level 5s together and forces them to intermingle?
"Is it a simple fourth-wall breaking comedy done for cheap laughs?
"Or is it something more sinister… a torture room crafted by some sick madman?
"You be the judge. But don't be so quick to make that judgement."
The mysterious man tossed forward a heavy document marked 'confidential'.
"What you may learn may shock you. It may haunt you for the rest of your life, forever altering the way you see your world. It may even change you, yourself, as a person.
"If what I'm saying disturbs you in any way, I ask that you turn back now. But if you're committed to finding the truth… read 'til the very end.
"And perhaps… You'll find the answer you're looking for."
Pacing from side to side, the mysterious figure began to report.
"The way this case starts is with..."
The Pudding Incident
"Did someone eat my pudding?"
Accelerator searched through the chilly shelves of a newly acquired refrigerator. Behind him, the rest of the Level 5s were sitting at the long table doing nothing particularly interesting.
"Pudding?"
Shokuhou Misaki acknowledged the Number 1's query. She looked up towards the ceiling.
"Pudding… Pudding… Pu-dding~⭐?"
Accelerator stared blankly as the blonde girl meandered.
"Was there pudding in the fridge?"
"Yes. I put it there. And now it's gone."
"Is that so~? Hmm... Mmmmmmmmn…"
In deep thought, the girl tapped her temple several times…
"Haaaaaaaaa… Nnnnnnnnn…"
Her eyes lit! A thought came to mind!
"Oh! Maybe it's…!
"No, wait…"
Doubt consumed her…
"Well… Hnnnnnnnnnnn…
"…"
After an extended pause, she raised her shoulders in an exaggerated a shrug.
"No idea~⭐!"
Satisfied with wasting the Number 1's time, Shokuhou Misaki slouched back down in her seat. To say the least, Accelerator was annoyed.
Usual Suspects
"Misaka-san? Do you perchance know something?"
Misaka Mikoto instantly became irate.
"Hey now. Why would I know more? Are you trying to insinuate something here?"
"Awfully defensive, Misaka-san. You're making yourself sound guilty."
"…"
The Number 3 sighed.
"Look, I don't know anything about whatever-pudding, but if anyone's the culprit, aren't you the most likely suspect?"
This elicited a dirty look from the Number 5.
"Haah? And why would that be?"
Misaka Mikoto blinked.
Oh, I don't know. I guess you could say it's my intuition.
"Maybe it's because you're a sneaky conniving bitch."
"Misaka-san. Your words and thoughts got mixed up."
Usual Suspects II
As Misaka Mikoto and Shokuhou Misaki stared darts into each other…
Accelerator turned to the rest of the Level 5s.
"…?"
Noticing his glance, Kakine Teitoku defended himself.
"Ah? Could you be suspecting me?
"I assure you that I'm innocent. There may have been a time when I would have RELISHED in the thought of taking something that was yours and CORRUPTING it beyond its original form, but nowadays those urges haven't been prevalent."
( Accelerator: I'm relieved to hear that. )
Mugino Shizuri also defended herself.
"Likewise, I'm also innocent.
"If I really wanted to inconvenience you, I would have taken a more direct approach. Such as, forcefully taking what you love and blackmailing you into submission."
( Accelerator: Makes sense. )
Ace Defective
As the room grumbled unproductively…
Sogiita Gunha cut through the chatter with suave grit.
"Seven people… A refrigerator… And missing pudding…
"I see. So that's how it is…"
For some reason, he was wearing a checkered deerstalker cap and matching cape.
"There's no doubt about it… All of this has the makings of…
"A LOCKED-ROOM MYSTERY!"
[ SFX: *SHOCK!*]
( Accelerator: No. It doesn't. )
Standing up, he pulled out a magnifying glass.
"Never mind the technicalities, my dear Accelerator. A mystery is a foot. And Ace Detective Gunha is on the case."
( Accelerator: Where is this dumbshit getting these props? )
The Number 7 carefully paced around the room. He stroked his chin in a sophisticated manner.
"So by your account… it seems like there was pudding in the fridge. And now, it's not there anymore. Is that right?"
"That's exactly what I just said."
"Ah! Yes! Yes! Of course!"
Following the line of logic, he came to a stunning revelation!
"If the preceding information is true, then that must mean… someone must have taken it!"
"No fucking shit."
Crime Scene
Sogiita Gunha requested more information.
"Please. Accelerator. It's important you tell us every detail. If you've noticed anything or anyone acting suspicious, those may be clues to solving this mystery."
"…"
A moment passed. The white-haired boy's expression of disdain gradually turned into one of exasperation.
Letting out a breath, Number 1 gave in to the situation.
"Fine. Whatever."
Accelerator recounted his day to a mildly interested audience.
"This morning…
"I was given a bowl of pudding by… My tenant… In celebration of my recent anime announcement. She attempted to make pudding with a rice cooker. Unfortunately, she failed that. The rice cooker burned the bottom of the pudding, turning the whole thing brown with speckled black pieces. As she gave it to me, she mentioned how the crispy bits were supposed to make it taste better."
( Gunha: Oh, right. Congratulations. )
( Accelerator: Thanks. )
Accelerator continued.
"I brought the pudding with me to the testing facility at around 3:30 in the afternoon. After putting the pudding in the fridge, I received word that a crocodile spliced with my DNA had escaped into the sewers, so I left to handle that situation. At about 4:05, I came back and by then, everyone had already arrived for the experiment.
"I just now noticed the pudding was missing from the fridge."
( Mikoto: What…? Crocodile with- )
"I see. So the theft must have occurred between 3:30 and 4:05. A time frame of 35 minutes."
"Correct."
( Mikoto: Wait. Something absurd was just casually mentioned. )
Testimony
Ace Detective Gunha sat on the long table with his arms crossed. He nodded to himself.
"So now the stage is set… But there's still something missing…"
The Number 7 deliberately tapped fingers over his humerus…
"Everyone! Cooperate with me! Did anyone notice anything strange before coming into this room? Anything that could possibly be related to this event?"
Shokuhou Misaki raised her hand.
"Um, Mister Detective? I might have something."
"Ooh! Go on!"
Playfully, the Number 5 sat up straight and gave her testimony.
"This morning, I definitely noticed something odd~"
"Odd…?"
Detective Gunha leaned forward slightly.
"Yes. You see. As I was putting on my clothes this morning, I noticed a certain tightness around my chest. The blouse that fitted on me so perfectly until now… wasn't fitting properly anymore! I remember thinking to myself, if only I could be more like Misaka-san! I bet she never has this kind of problem!"
( Mikoto: … )
Testimony II
The Number 5 clapped her hands and continued.
"A joke~⭐! That was just a joke! But… I do have something that might be related."
Shokuhou Misaki readjusted herself.
"Well… When I arrived at the clubroom… Right before I entered… I remember hearing a certain someone speaking from inside. And what was said then… It unsettled me…"
The girl looked down with a troubled expression.
"Word for word, this is what I overheard."
The Number 5 raised her glance. Her face darkened as she made an appropriately sinister pose. An aura of evil emanated, heavily oppressing the atmosphere.
"Today, I'll make sure Accelerator pays."
Sogiita Gunha paled at the turn of events!
"Th-That's definitely suspicious!"
Shokuhou Misaki dramatically stood from her seat and pointed a gloved finger at the suspect!
"And when I opened the door… I found that the voice belonged to our very own Misaka Mikoto!"
[ SFX: *SHOCK!* ]
At this, the Number 7 shouted excitedly!
"IT'S OVER! SHE'S THE CULPRIT!"
( Mikoto: Oi, oi, oi! What about my side of the story?-! )
HOLD IT!
The Number 3 refuted the accusation!
"I didn't do it! How many time do I have to say it?-!"
Despite her fervent refusal, the Number 5 and 7 pressed forward.
"That exactly what the perpetrator would say!"
"Just give it up, Misaka-san. It's your loss. Or do we need to tie you up until you confess?"
"As if I'd let you, damn it…!"
As Shokuhou Misaki reached into a box of props for a rope…
"Stop right there."
The harsh voice paralyzed even the Number 1 in his tracks. Though, he wasn't really moving much in the first place.
"A testimony like that isn't enough pin down a suspect. But I guess all of you are amateurs anyway."
Everyone turned their heads to see…!
Mugino Shizuri also in detective getup!
( Mikoto: Are those clothes really necessary?-! )
Hard Evidence
The Number 4 callously spoke with a pipe in her mouth.
"Your judgement is based off circumstantial evidence. That's hardly proof at all."
The Number 5 seemed affected by the interruption. She hadn't anticipated anyone taking Misaka Mikoto's side.
"W-What are you talking about?-! She's obviously the one who did it!"
"Really? Is that what you think?"
Mugino Shizuri glanced at Accelerator.
"I'd like know. Were there any identifying marks signifying that the pudding was yours?"
The white-haired boy briefly thought back. Shaking his head…
"No, there wasn't anything like that."
From that answer, the corners of Detective Shizuri's mouth curled.
"Annnnd there it is."
Raising both her hands, the Number 4 trashed the established narrative.
"Even if we assume that you, yourself, aren't lying and that the Number 3 did plan to exact a revenge… How would Railgun know that the pudding belonged to Accelerator?"
"W-Well… When you put it that way…"
( Shizuri: Also, what kind of freak talks to themselves when they're alone? )
( Misaki: No. You have to take my word. That really did happen. )
( Mikoto: … )
"Instead of latching onto senseless motives, there's an easier way to find the culprit. Hard evidence should be nearby."
"…!"
Re-Examination
Continuing from before, Detecitve Shizuri postulated.
"Pudding can be consumed… but a bowl and utensils cannot. Once those are found, we can figure out who the real culprit is. Those items should still be on these premises and may even still be on the culprit.
"That said, we should-"
"An astute observation, Miss Shizuri. But also a very misguided one."
An air of confidence cut the Number 4 off! In opposition of Meltdowner was the one and only-!
Detective Teitoku!
"YOU?-!"
A certain smugness hung about his being as he swaggered forward.
"You're failing to realize, Miss Shizuri, that such evidence can be manipulated, destroyed, or hidden. In fact, going about this direction is a prime opportunity for the culprit to get away.
"If I were the criminal, I'd know that this would be the time to shift the blame on someone else. But, I'm sure you already knew that."
"Just what are you implicating, you bastard…!"
"I'm not saying anything. Just that if you were to put yourself in the criminal's shoes, the obvious way to avoid getting caught would be to take a hold of the situation. Which means…
"The one's who are most suspicious are you three, Shokuhou Misaki, Sogiita Gunha, and Mugino Shizuri!"
[ SFX: *SHOCK* ]
( Gunha: Th-That's ridiculous! )
( Misaki: Yeah? And what about you? What makes you so blameless, huh? )
( Mugino: POPPYCOCK! )
Turnabout
"ALL Of YOU, SHUT UP!"
Accelerator took a stand.
"From my perspective, all you assholes are suspicious!
"In fact, it wouldn't be that far of a stretch to say that all of you are colluding!"
Misaka Mikoto stood up.
"IT'S JUST GOD DAMN PUDDING! WHY IS EVERYONE MAKING SUCH A FUSS! IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL!"
The Number 1 gave a heavy stare.
"You say that, but apparently you were muttering something about revenge?"
The Number 3 waved her hand nonchalantly.
"Ah. That's a misunderstanding. You still haven't paid me back for those groceries from way back when."
( "Groceries?" )
Noticing the glances from the other Level 5s, Misaka Mikoto deflected back to the original topic.
"Th-That aside! I think we can all agree that I had nothing to do with this!"
"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"
Cornered!
"I've had enough! I know who the true culprit is!"
"A true detective goes with his gut! And it's clearly…!
"It's obviously…!"
"There's no doubt that it's…!"
"It has to be…!""
"YOU!" (x7)
They were all pointing at different people.
A shout-fest commenced afterwards.
Snack
Nearby…
Looking at a live feed of the club room, Nunotaba Shinobu took notes.
"Are they still at each other's throats?"
Hamazura Shiage approached from the back. Looking over her shoulder, he watched the scene while snacking.
"…Is that pudding?"
"Yeah. It's a little crunchy, but it's alright."
"…"
Jabberwock
Back in the secluded alleyway…
The mysterious figure finished his report.
"One case out of many. One out of a plethora of incidents unseen to the eye of the public. Truly, Project Super Seven is a spectacle for-
"Eh? Where are you going? Are you leaving already?-! Don't you want to know what Project Super Seven is?-!"
…
Turning around…
Answering the figure…
"This is stupid."
It really is.
Next Chapter: The Reverie Reversal Arc continues. For real. Sorry.
