"What is your problem?"

Hope froze. Why did her father have to seek her out?

"Which one do you want to hear about? The fact that I'm being kept here so I don't wipe out the town? Or the one where I'm campaigning to get a certain Monster Lore instructor to fuck me into the next century? Take your pick."

"You're humanity free, and you chose to pick at Josie? You don't know her, yet you act like she's your soft target."

"You have no idea what my soft targets are or why I said what I did, so I suggest you stay out of my way. It'd be a shame if I happened to know where to find some white oak, now wouldn't it?" Hope gave an over the top fake smile and turned away.

Klaus caught her arm, spinning her to face him, "You do anything against my family, I will make sure you regret it."

"I'm humanity free. I regret nothing." Without considering how he might react when he woke up, Hope snapped his neck, then headed towards the front door.

She wanted more alcohol, but didn't dare go back to Ryan to ask for another drink. He was smart enough, he'd see that her switch had been pushed and probably start putting pieces together if he saw Klaus's broken neck.

Rifling through Klaus's pockets, she pulled out a few bills from his wallet and headed out.

Several hours later, Hope sat in the cemetery with her bottles of cheap booze. It didn't go down nearly as smoothly as the drink Ryan had given her, but it did the trick, and she downed the one bottle as quickly as she could.

"I'm insulted."

Hope looked up and then returned her attention back to her drink.

"If you wanted to get drunk, all you had to do was ask me for more," Ryan said as he sat down beside her.

"How did you find me?"

"Alaric has an active tracking spell on you and when you remained outside the gates, I decided to come look for you."

"Did you think you'd find me neck deep in bodies?"

"You're too controlled to go on a killing spree without a good reason. It would go against whatever plan you're working on."

"Even though I snapped Klaus's neck?"

"I'd imagine you felt that he deserved it. Though it's probably a good idea you haven't come back yet because he was on the warpath when he woke up, especially when he realized you picked his pockets." Ryan laughed.

"He was annoying." Hope shrugged, then offered him the bottle in her hand.

Ryan took the bottle and then passed it back as he swallowed.

"I've killed two people, yet you're saying I'm controlled. And I'm here because I tore Triad apart." Hope passed the bottle back to him.

"You had a reason to kill each of them." Ryan took a swig, then gave her the bottle. "No, I'm not excusing your actions, but you're not stupid enough to go around randomly killing people just because you can."

Hope leaned her head against Ryan's shoulder and they passed the bottle back and forth until it was gone. Then, she opened the last bottle and they finished that one off too.

"Here's hoping your faith in me doesn't bite you in the ass."

"I'd rather you be the one biting me." Ryan bit his lower lip when Hope glanced at him, one brow raised. Clearly he hadn't meant to say that.

"Is that so?" Moving as quickly as she could, Hope straddled him, grinding against his erection.

"Mikayla." Ryan's hands balled into fists at her hips. "We can't."

Standing up, Hope tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Screw you, Clarke. If I kill someone else tonight, it's on you."

"You don't get to manipulate me like that."

"How is it manipulation if we both want it? I'm not some Regency era damsel whose virtue needs to be treated with kid gloves."

"No, you're a vampire who's flipped the switch and when you start to feel again, you'll hate me for letting this happen!"

"I flipped the switch, which means I'm doing what I would be tempted to do if I still allowed myself to feel. I mean, why wouldn't I want to fuck you?"

"I started Triad. I'm the reason they even had access to Malivore in the first place. That's why you wouldn't want me."

"You didn't throw me into the pit, then torture me for information when I destroyed it, so I don't see why you should feel guilty for anything. What's done is done. So stop trying to make up for other people's crimes."

"I certainly hope you feel that way when you come back to yourself."

"You're afraid." Hope walked towards him slowly. "You want me, but you're terrified that I'll reject you should I ever decide to feel again. So, to protect yourself, you frustrate the hell out of both of us, which isn't fair."

Why did that bother her so much? She couldn't understand why she was talking to him like this. Why did it matter if he refused to sleep with her?

"You could have anyone in this school who was attracted to women. So why me?"

"What use do I have for children? Besides, you intrigue me."

Ryan watched her, his expression conflicted.

"Look, if you don't want me, just say it and I'll find someone much less interesting to play with."

"You know I want you." Turning away from her, he headed back towards the school. "We'd better get back before I do something stupid."

"Your definition of stupid? Or mine?"

"Mine. Obviously."

They remained silent the rest of the way back, though Hope could sense his conflict. Rather than calling him out on it, she decided to wait. If she pushed him now, then it would likely strengthen his resolve.

Just because she didn't feel much of anything didn't mean that she didn't understand how people worked, especially men.

No one was awake to witness their return to the school and the tension in her shoulders lessened just a little. The last thing she wanted was to run into anyone who might make her want to snap their neck or drain them dry.

Instead of going their separate ways when they reached the second floor, Ryan followed Hope to her bedroom and when she opened the door, he placed his hand on her arm. Hope raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything, simply waiting.

Slowly, hesitantly, he reached up and cupped her cheek with one hand, then softly caressed her lower lip with his thumb. Hope looked up at him as she brushed her tongue lightly against his skin and then drew the digit into her mouth.

With that, the dam broke and Ryan kissed her roughly, more teeth and tongues than lips and Hope reciprocated eagerly. His fingers dug into her hair, securing her to him, and she wrapped her legs around his waist while he carried her inside the room. Once they were clear of the door, Ryan kicked it shut while Hope made quick work of the buttons on his shirt.

Once they reached the bed, Ryan threw her across it and pulled off her boots. Hope sat up and pushed his shirt down his shoulders as he kissed her again, this time more softly.

"You're not stopping, are you?" Hope whispered as she pulled away from his mouth to kiss down his neck.

"Hell no. I just want to go a little more slowly."

"Why?"

"Because I happen to like it slow most of the time."

"So, you'll fuck me gently." Hope caught his lower lip between her teeth and tugged. "What if I want it fast and rough?"

"Trust me, it'll be worth it." He smirked as he toed off his own shoes and joined her on the bed.

Curious now, Hope ran her hand down his chest, exploring him. He possessed just the right amount of muscle, not so thin that she'd feel like she'd snap him, and not so thick that she'd feel like he'd snap her.

"Like what you see?" Ryan flipped them so that he was lying on top of her.

"Yes." Biting her lip, Hope looked him up and down, then added, "But, I'd like it a lot more if we were both naked and your cock was inside me."

"Patience." He ground his arousal against her aching center, drawing a whimper from her.

"Please." Hope bucked beneath him, her need for him spiking through the roof now that he'd surrendered to his lust.

Smirking now, Ryan undid her uniform shirt so slowly that Hope nearly flipped them over so she could take control. But just as she was about to do so, he flung her bra over his shoulder and his lips closed over one of her nipples.

"Ryan," Hope moaned, her back arching.

He lifted his head just a little and blew against her softly, the brush of his breath across her skin drawing a whimper from her, then looked up at her. The expression in his dark eyes was so soft that Hope fought the urge to look away.

Keeping his gaze on hers, Ryan ran his hands slowly down her sides, the gentleness of the touch tightening her throat. That did it. Pushing at the switch was not an option, so Hope flipped him beneath her, biting at his throat.

"Oh, Mikayla. You're spoiling my fun," Ryan sighed as he tipped his head back.

"You were taking too long."

Hope tore the rest of their clothing off and then straddled him again.

"One day, I'll teach you the pleasure of taking it slow," Ryan vowed as he sat up and cradled her cheek.

The way he looked at her had Hope bracing herself on his shoulders and rising up on her knees to take him inside her. As her inner walls stretched around him, Hope's mouth fell open and she threw her head back as a moan tore from her throat.

Leaning up on his elbow, Ryan tilted her face towards him and he kissed her, his tongue sliding between her lips.

Now that he was inside her, Hope found herself not wanting this moment to end. So instead of riding him as fast and hard as she could, she rocked slowly against him, savoring this first time she'd ever allowed herself to be so vulnerable with someone.

"Who's the tease now?" Ryan whispered against her lips.

"Now, you know not to play games with me," Hope replied as she continued to ride him slowly.

"I'll play games with you all I want to, if it involves you like this." Ryan sucked her lower lip into his mouth.

God, she wanted to feel his skin against hers for the rest of her immortal life. If only that sinfully perfect mouth stayed closed except to kiss her, because he liked pushing her buttons too much in his subtle campaign to make her feel again.

"You're thinking, Mikayla." Ryan trailed open mouthed kisses down her neck and across her shoulder.

When his hands came up to cup her breasts and play with her nipples, all thought left her, except for the feeling of him beneath her and his hands and mouth on her.

Ryan smirked and then he reached between her legs to stroke her clit and Hope threw her head back, a strangled scream tearing its way free from somewhere deep in the back of her throat. Unable to resist the urge, she started riding him in earnest now.

"That's it, sweetheart, Ride me," Ryan groaned.

The coil in her lower belly tightened and then the wave crested, sending shock waves of pleasure through her.

When Hope collapsed against his chest, he rolled onto his side so they were facing each other.

"If sex with you feels this good while drunk, I wonder what it would be like sober."

"So you want to fuck me again?" Hope raised an eyebrow. "You wanna risk me saying something that could deflate your ego so terribly that you might never recover?"

"I was raised by Malivore. I doubt there's anything you can say that will make me feel any lower than he made me feel." Ryan traced her lower lip with his thumb.

"I'm not going to flip the switch."

"Me having sex with you is more about connecting to the one person who knows what it was like in the pit in the only way you'll allow."

"You're lonelier than I am." Hope ran her fingers through his hair, enjoying the feel of the soft curls between her fingers.

"How's that?"

"Because even though we're equally alone, you feel, so you care that you have no one."

"I have you." Ryan pulled Hope against his chest and tucked her head beneath his chin.

"I don't feel anything, so it must be sad for you."

"No sadder than the girl who was wounded so terribly, she hides from everyone, including herself." Ryan traced patterns on her back.

"So, equally broken people coming together and finding some semblance of wholeness in the bedroom."

"My lover's got humor. She's the giggle at the funeral. She tells me 'Worship in the bedroom.' The only heaven I'll be sent to is when I'm alone with you." Ryan chuckled. "I never thought that song would fit me in any way. Yet, here we are."

"I'll have to listen to that song."

The alcohol finally caught up to her and Hope felt herself drifting towards sleep, her mind at rest for the first time in a very long time.