Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from Zootopia are all owned by Disney the great and powerful. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.
Other artists performed songs which mentioned Cab Calloway's characters. For example, Clarence Williams in 1934
You heard about Minnie the Moocher
and about Smokey Joe,
Well, gather 'round me while i tell ya' 'bout a boy you should know
Jerry the Junker
"They arrested Duke!" Nick shouted.
"Can't hear you while I'm in the shower," called Judy.
Nick opened the bathroom door.
"It doesn't get us to work faster when we shower together," Judy reminded him.
"They arrested Duke!"
"What did he do this time?"
"He was arrested for the Smokey Joe murders."
Judy turned off the water, "It sounded like you said they arrested him for murder."
"That's because it's what I said."
"You've got to be joking."
"Wish I was."
"That's crazy! Duke is twenty-seven kinds of crooked, but he's not a killer."
"I'm going to ask if we can work it."
"No, you're not."
"I certainly will."
"Let me rephrase. A, we've got a real murderer to find. B, we don't know what kind of evidence they have on Duke. And, C, detectives from the Fourth had the case. The ZPD is not going to assign detectives from the First to proved detectives from the Fourth wrong."
"Well they should. You heard Malus, the detectives on the case were over their heads. Why they picked Duke for a patsy I don't know. But I know Duke is not a murderer. I'm going to ask for this."
"Hand me a towel, please," requested Judy. "You can ask. I'm warning you, we won't get it."
"I can be very persuasive. I hope you left me some hot water. Or is it just you who's hot in here?"
"Maybe looking at me naked makes you hot."
Ben told them the chief of detectives wanted to see them when they arrived.
Alces didn't ask them to sit. It meant he expected a short conversation. "Good work on the triple murder. Type it up and get the final report to me this morning."
"I can't do a final report," Judy answered. "We haven't found the killer."
"You have the DNA. You've linked him to other crimes. There's no suspect to get DNA from for a test. This one stays open, but until there is a suspect I think you can work something else."
"I want to get him," argued Judy. "He's a killer. I don't want to handle his next crime when he's killed someone else. You saw the pictures of the crime scene."
The moose looked down on the file folder on his desk. There seemed no way to find the lynx whose DNA was found at the crime scene. He would need Nick and Judy for other investigations. He tapped nervously on the desk for a moment, remembering the photos of the crime scene. "Nail the bastard. I'll give you a week to come up with a suspect. No suspect and I give you other work."
"Thanks," Judy told him.
"And I have a request," added Nick.
"What?"
"I'd like to be assigned the Smokey Joe case."
Alces looked puzzled. "The Fourth is handling that– Handled that. Didn't you hear they made an arrest?"
"Yeah, Duke Weaselton. Duke is a low-life, but he's no killer. The wrong animal is in jail."
"They had evidence that–"
"It couldn't be enough. I'm not a friend to Duke, but no animal should be railroaded for a crime he–"
"Railroaded? That's a serious accusation. You really–"
"Okay, maybe not railroaded. But they've got the wrong animal! I want to show he's not a killer."
"Job description for ZPD officers is not proving animals innocent, it's finding the guilty. It'll be the job of his defense attorney to show he's innocent."
"It shouldn't be the job of an innocent animal to prove he's innocent," muttered Nick.
"Look, I want to see justice done," insisted Alces. "But your job is investigating crime and–"
"There's a murderer out there, and the police aren't looking for him!"
"I've got no time for this. Help Hopps find the lynx."
"Could you at least get a copy of the report for me to look at?"
The moose hesitated a moment, then shrugged. He looked at Judy, "You mind if he wastes time reading the report on Weaselton?"
"I think Duke is... Okay, he's not innocent. But he's not a murderer. I'm curious why they think he's a killer. Nick can read it. My priority is the lynx."
"Good. Wilde?"
"Yes?"
"I'll expedite a copy of the report to you. But you belong to the First, and you won't do work for the Fourth on our time."
Nick said nothing, keeping his anger in check as she followed Judy back to their desks.
"What's our next step?" Judy asked once seated.
"Not sure. But Duke–"
"Finding the lynx, remember? That's our assignment. It'll be weeks, maybe months before Duke comes to trial. Hopefully the case will collapse before–"
"But he's in jail!"
"Which he probably deserves for a lot of stuff he's pulled. But our job is to find a killer. I'm serious, Nick. You saw what he did to that family. Alces gave us a week to come up with a suspect. Where do we start? I've got an idea."
"Sorry, Fluff. I'll try to get my mind back on the lynx. What's your idea?"
"We've got the DNA profile of the suspect. We know the killer isn't in the police data base. Some of the ancestry places can check for relatives. Maybe if we can find a brother or sister or some other close relative we can get a suspect."
"Worth checking. City has only done mandatory DNA profiles of animals charged with felonies for less that ten years. We're dealing with someone really nasty here. Look for lynxes committing felonies before then. Look for lynxes who spent time in juvie. Look for lynxes who've been charged with things other than felonies. I'm going to guess the suspect is on the list."
"Sounds good too. Want to start that while I run the DNA data around?"
"Um... Let me hit the DNA companies. You start pulling files. There's a chance when Duke's file comes I might be tempted to stop work and read it. Might be safer to have me outside the office."
"Umm," purred Judy. "I should be the only thing tempting my big, strong fox."
While Nick took the DNA data to the two companies that offered to find relatives Judy started to pull files on lynxes with criminal records dating from before mandatory testing of felony suspects. She sorted them into three piles based on her guesses about probability: high to low.
The Smokey Joe file hit Nick's desk before eleven. Nick still wasn't back. Judy was too intent on her own work to take a look at the evidence. She briefly considered calling Nick to tell him it had arrived, then remembered he was trying to avoid any temptation but her. She promised herself to reward him for being a good fox that night... Maybe reward both of them.
It was after three when an unhappy Nick Wilde returned to the First.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, as in the DNA search produced nothing."
"Nothing?"
"Nothing worth pursuing. Our killer's DNA shows he is related to more than eighty-five percent of the lynxes in Zootopia, but nothing's closer than a third cousin."
"Ouch."
"Yeah, so nothing to cross-reference with... Here's a thought. I don't know how many potential suspects you've found..."
"Almost thirty."
"Well, if we can't use DNA to point at any one of them, maybe we can use DNA to clear some of them from the list." Judy looked puzzled. "If they've done a DNA test for Ancestors dot Com, or Genome dot Inc., we can eliminate them as suspects. Might drop a few names from your list."
"I think it would take a court order, it would look too much like fishing for suspects."
"I spent the day fishing for suspects. This is trying to eliminate innocent animals from investigation. Show a judge the crime scene photos and we'll get the court order for names of animals tested in the data base."
"And if he sent in a DNA sample from some other lynx and claimed he was the sender?"
"You really think he's that bright? Let's say you've got thirty potential suspects and let's imagine ten of them have been tested. Odds are the twenty remaining animals are way more likely than those we eliminate early. And if none of the them pan out then we start looking for a genius among the ten."
"You really think one third of the lynxes in Zootopia have had their DNA charted?"
"No, but if there's even two it will be two less we need to look at."
They spent the rest of their shift looking through the records Judy had pulled. Court orders and cross-checking against the DNA to eliminate potential suspects would wait until the next day. They debated Judy's placement of several potential suspects, with Nick usually accepting Judy's reasoning. He argued hard that one animal who had spent time in juvenile detention for violent acts as a young teenager, but had an unblemished record for the last twenty years should have been lower.
Judy glanced at the clock, "Two minutes and we can go home." She winked at him. "I may test how good you are at not giving in to temptation. Remember that little negligee you bought me?"
"How can I forget? Uh, Carrots? Can we stop by the jail first?"
"Jail? To see Duke?"
"Yep."
"You heard Alces say it isn't our assignment. Let his defense lawyer..." Judy sighed. "He's innocent. I'm proud of you for wanting to clear his name. Will it be enough for me to stay out front while you go back, or do you want me to go back with you and pretend to be nice? He may not be a killer, but you know I don't like him."
"Not asking you to like him. I just want an innocent animal, sitting in jail for a crime he didn't commit, worried about whether he'll be wrongly convicted to know there is one animal in the world who wants to see justice done."
"You haven't reformed at all, have you," Judy whispered as they were led back to see Duke.
"Moi? I am a member of the ZPD."
"And you fight dirty."
"Whatever meanest thou, Ms Hopps? I would never fight with a fair damsel like thyself."
"Can it, Mister Wilde. You implied I was less than a cockroach if I stayed out front while you came back to see Duke."
"I would never suggest such a thing of the rabbit I love more than life itself. Must be your guilty conscience whispering in your lovely ears." The guard stopped and gestured into a cell. "Duke."
"Come ta gets me out?"
"Don't have the power. Judge should set bail in a day or two, but it'll be high on a murder charge."
"I dids not kill nobody!"
"I know that. Judy knows that, and–"
"An' da bunny haz comes back here ta sees me in da clink and gloat."
"Listen," Judy growled, "Nick shamed me into coming back here. I wanted to stay out front and–"
Nick coughed to get the attention of the pair. "Duke, Judy is here because she thinks you didn't kill anyone. Be glad she's here. Judy, Duke is unaccustomed to anything kind from you, so he–"
"Kind? I'm supposed to be kind to–"
"Kindness never hurt anyone." Judy shut her mouth and resolved to say nothing else while they were in the jail. Nick looked at Duke, "Asked the captain if we could be assigned to this. It was the work of detectives on the Fourth that got you arrested. Captain says not our job to show they did a bad job. Actually," Nick held up a file, "I've got a copy of their report. I plan to look it over tonight. I'm wondering why in the world they thought it made sense to arrest you."
"I iz wonderin' da same ting myself. Youse tink dere iz any chance youse mights be put on da case?"
"Told you, I got a big fat 'no' when I made the request – told me to find criminals instead of trying to show the bulls at the Fourth couldn't find wool on a sheep."
Judy coughed to get his attention. "We aren't supposed to insult other members of the force."
"Even when they've screwed things up royally?"
Judy looked at Duke. "Nick is really upset. I mean, you and I don't like each other, but I know you shouldn't be locked up back here. Nick's angry about it. I don't know what he can do – but I know he wants to help you, and will do whatever he can."
"An' youse? If youse tinks I iz innocent?"
"I'll help any way I can."
"Dat iz someting... Could youse do me a flavor?"
"We aren't allowed to–" began Judy.
"What is it?"
"If youse wouldst calls me ma and gran, tells dem I iz not da killer."
"Sure, Duke. No problem."
Nick slouched in the passenger's seat as Judy drove home. "Calls first or read file first?"
"Calls first. Alces is trusting you with the file, and you might tell his folks more than you should if you read it first."
"Good point. And I can keep the calls short that way too."
"I was going to show you how much I appreciated your focus today, but I think you may be too preoccupied tonight."
The fox hesitated a moment, "Yeah, probably. Sorry."
"I'll make dinner, you make the calls and start reading the report. After dinner you finish reading and your wife, who is very impressed with your concern for justice, will give you a back-rub to relieve your stress – and you'll sleep with your arms around her tonight."
When Judy had finished cleaning after dinner she went and sat by Nick on the couch, "And?"
"You know Duke grandmother was head of the Weaseloni mob after her husband was killed. Did you know the Weaselonis were at war with Smokey Joe's mob?"
"I read there was a lot of gang warfare when Joe disappeared. I don't remember reading the Weaselonis were part of it, but it doesn't surprise me... You're not telling me they think Duke is restarting some old vendetta, are you?"
"I'm not telling you that. The idiots at the Fourth are trying to sell you that."
"And Duke is in jail for that?
"Not entirely. I didn't know Duke carries a Smokey Joe challenge coin. He claims it's a lucky piece and he can't remember where he got it."
"Okay, that's a bit weird."
"What part of the equation is weird? That he has one or says he doesn't remember how he got it? One way to get one fifty or sixty years ago was to take it off a member of Joe's gang after you killed him. There's no statute of limitations on murder and my guess is he doesn't want to say his grandmother gave it to him, or how she got it."
"That would make sense. That still sounds pretty thin for an arrest. It could make him an animal of interest, but–"
"But wait! There's more! Anonymous phone caller claimed to have seen Duke putting something in one of his caches around town. Search found half a box of the old ammunition."
"Which is distinctive."
"Which is very distinctive, and I think was put there by the killer, who was probably our anonymous caller. Duke claims it's a frame."
"But, of course, if he really were the murderer he'd try to claim it was planted. Did they try to trace the anonymous call?"
"They had the smarts to do that. Pay phone at a gas station fairly near the scene."
"They still have pay phones?"
"You've got to look hard, but you can still find them every now and then."
"Surveillance video of the phone?"
"Doesn't mention any in the report. But I'm guessing an animal smart enough to do the killings and shadow Duke to find out where he stashes his DVDs or counterfeit watches found a pay phone with no video monitor."
"It doesn't seem like a very strong case."
"No, but animals have been convicted with less evidence. And the killer, having eliminated the three animals he was after, stops now and the fact the murders stop is seen as more evidence against Duke."
"Any chance Duke has an alibi for the times of the killings?"
"If you weren't sleeping with me, would you have a witness for where you were at any random early hour of the morning? For that matter, I sleep soundly enough you could slip out and shot someone and I wouldn't know it."
"Point taken."
"I've written four or five ideas on how to start finding the real killer. We–"
"No. You're done with Duke for the night. A long stressful day for both of us. Right now we go to the bedroom and I give you that back-rub to show I think you're wonderful. And then you drift off to sleep with your arms around me because you think I'm wonderful. And if you say anything sarcastic right now you're sleeping on the couch tonight."
"Wouldn't dream of it," Nick assured her and gave Judy a kiss. "I'm married to the most wonderful rabbit in the world."
"And don't you forget it."
Not a single one of the lynxes Judy had identified as potential suspects in the triple murder had taken the DNA ancestry test. Nick shrugged, "Well it would have been nice to eliminate a few."
"We're not done with this angle yet."
"What do you mean?"
"They said no one closer than something like third cousins came up as possible relatives to the killer?"
"Right."
"So, even if none of our potential suspects did the test, a sibling or parent would have shown up, right?"
"Right..." Nick said slowly, "Ah, so if we find close relatives of potential suspects have taken the test we can eliminate a potential."
The combination of celebrity detectives Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde asking for help, and the assurance they were being used to establish innocence rather than guilt made the genetics companies willing to provide help without a court order – although Nick and Judy promised not to publicize the cooperation. Seven of the twenty-eight potential suspects were moved to the pile labeled, "Don't look at again, unless desperate."
Several of the potentials were still on probation, or only recently released from probation, and their workplaces were current in their files. If they were at work on Tuesday it would have been impossible for them to commit the murders.
"Call and ask the supervisors if the lynxes was at work last Tuesday?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because, if they're innocent – and at some of them have to be – we make their supervisor start regarding them as criminal."
"So, Mister Smarty-fox, how do we find out?"
"Give me the information on that first lynx." Nick dialed the phone. "Mister Brown? This is Nick Wilde from the Police Department. ... Yes, that Nick Wilde. ... Thanks, it was really Judy who did the heavy lifting. I'm hoping for a favor, we have an opossum suspect who is trying to use a lynx from your company as an alibi. Any lynxes working there? ... Thanks. Can you tell me if he was on the job Tuesday? ... Sure I can give you a minute to check. ... Great! Thanks. It blows the possum's alibi to pieces! ... Maybe. We'll take a deposition from you and the lynx if we need one. ... No, the pleasure was mine. Thanks again." Nick hung up and grinned at Judy, "And that, Miss Doubting-bunny, is how to eliminate suspects without putting them in hot water on the job."
By the end of the day they were down from twenty-eight potential suspects to seventeen.
Ben directed them to the Captain's office when they entered the next morning.
The moose glared at Nick. "There was a call from a Missus Weaselton this morning, she said she was Duke's mother and claimed you called her last night because Duke asked you to, and you told her you didn't think Duke was guilty." Nick said nothing. "Well?" demanded the moose.
"Well what?"
"You doing to answer that?"
"I didn't know it was a question."
Alces on very rare occasions had a threatening rumble to his voice. Judy and Nick had not heard it often. He managed to get it into a single word, "Wilde!" in such a way it sounded like a threat.
Judy cut in, hoping to defuse the tension, "We're sure Duke is not the killer."
"And the two of you went to the jail yesterday to–"
"How did you know that?" Nick asked.
"I called the jail. I couldn't believe you'd be that stupid!"
"Visiting an innocent animal is stupid?"
"He isn't innocent, he's in jail!"
"I thought it was innocent until proven guilty!"
"We're not arguing semantics!" bellowed the moose. "You've got a job to do, and it's not the weasel!"
"We were on our own time," Judy told him quietly. "Nick is being very conscientious about not letting his concern for Duke interfere with anything here."
Alces, realizing a need to deescalate the tension, asked, "Any progress on the lynx?"
"I think so. You said we had 'til the end of the week to narrow down the list of possible suspects."
"True enough," the moose nodded. "I'll let you get back to it. Wilde?"
"Yes?"
"There is one level on which I can appreciate the fact your heart is in the right place. But as your captain I'm telling you to get your head out of your ass and follow the rules."
As they went to their desks Nick whispered to Judy, "You didn't solve the Night Howler Case by following the rules."
"This is different."
"Is it?"
"We can argue that later. We've got seventeen possible suspects and only a few days to get the list down low enough for Alces to let us keep working it."
The files on some of the possible suspects were years old and didn't have information they wanted. They spent the morning gathering addresses and places of work. By noon they had current information on fifteen of their possible suspects.
They went to a panda restaurant near the First for lunch. "After lunch," began Nick, then stopped as he used chopsticks to get a large bite of noodles and vegetables, "spend time on those last two, or start working the fifteen we have information on?"
Judy, who had grown up without panda restaurants and had never mastered chopsticks, paused in her efforts to spear a large piece of broccoli with one of her sticks. "We don't have much time. Let's work the fifteen."
"Still a lot of animals. I don't know how–"
"You inspired me yesterday."
"I'm not surprised, but I have no idea what you're talking about."
"We go the direct route. Talk with their bosses, like you did. If that doesn't work we talk with them directly, 'Hey, you're on a list of possible suspects for a crime. Give us an iron-clad alibi we can check off and you're off the list.' My guess is that most of them have one."
"Of course, assuming that the killer is on the list, it alerts him to the fact we're... Maybe that's not a bad thing. If he knows we're looking at him he might not be breaking in any more places."
That afternoon, and the next day, they talked with job supervisors, met with one lynx at a bar, and took a lot of lynxes out for a cup of coffee.
"Never thought I'd say this," Nick groaned, "but at the moment I don't want to look another cup of coffee in the face again, ever."
"Courage, Comrade," Judy assured him. "Only one more to go, and you could order tea instead of coffee."
"I'd rather have a millstone tied around my neck and be thrown in the ocean. I'll order coffee."
"You just said you didn't want to look another cup of coffee in the face."
"I'll wear a blindfold while I drink it.
Four supervisors verified that four of the possible suspect were at work at the time of the killings. Five animals offered alibis that seemed strong, and they swore could easily be checked. With the limited time they were given Judy and Nick took them off the working list of suspects for the moment. Three lynxes agreed to furnish DNA samples to eliminate themselves as suspects. Five lynxes could not, or would not, provide information on where they were at the time of the killings or agree to provide the police with a DNA sample. For two of the five, as Nick thanked the lynx for his time and walked outside with him, Judy carefully placed the animal's coffee cup in a plastic bag to be taken to the forensics lab for DNA analysis.
The other three lynxes, on hearing the request for a DNA sample very carefully crushed the paper cup they were using, after finishing their coffee, and put them in a pocket. One, who had used a napkin to wipe up a small spill also made sure to also pocket the napkin.
They stopped at the Forensics lab before heading home. The receptionist on duty, a female rat, looked nervous.
"What's the problem?" asked Judy.
"You're Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde!"
"We already know that," Nick pointed out.
"And the message I was supposed to give you! It just..."
"What was the message?" requested the rabbit.
"I don't think–"
"The message," Nick demanded.
"It's not my message, I'm just repeating it," the pink-eyed female reminded them. "It was, 'Go soak your heads. Give us time to process the samples'. Not my message, I swear!"
To her surprise Nick actually started to laugh. "Vaughn, right?"
"Doctor Wheeler, yes."
"We probably were asking too much," agreed Judy. "But it is important. Did he say when he might have results?"
The rat looked at the note, "He says he may be able to tell you tomorrow, and Nick has to forgive him for one of the times he sandbagged... What does that mean?"
"It means the little weasel in hamster's clothing pulled a couple fast ones on me."
"Nick tries not to talk about it," Judy told the rat. "He finds it embarrassing. Could you call us as soon as the tests are done? It is important."
"I'll call the minute the results are in," the rat promised, thrilled to do something the team of Hopps and Wilde considered important.
