Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from Zootopia are all owned by Disney the great and powerful. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Blanche Calloway, Cab's sister, added to the mythos with Minnie (sadly, without Smokey) making a guest appearance in 1931 lyrics.

Growlin' Dan

After leaving Duke's grandmother at the Golden Fields Retirement Home Nick drove to the central bus terminal while Judy checked the time of the anonymous call to the police claiming to have seen Duke sticking ammunition in a locker. "See if we can get the video tape from the two or three hours before the call?"

"Sounds about right. You don't want to wait too long after planting evidence, Duke might have come back and found it."

The porcupine in charge of the locker division of customer service was in a foul temper, although it is sometimes difficult to tell with porcupines. (Nick's opinion was they were not hugged often enough when young.) There was little he was willing to do for them without a court order.

"The police already have the video tape," he growled at them. "You should know that."

"Jonathan and David weren't helpless apparently," Nick thought, "but they're just going to be looking for Duke and could miss what's important."

"Could we see the locker?" requested Judy.

"I told you, I won't open it for–"

"We're not asking you to open it. Will you show us where it is? We'd like a sense of traffic flow in the area and–"

"Why are you asking this? The other detectives were already here! They did that!"

Nick used his calming voice. "This is a very important case. Three animals were murdered. The police want to investigate this as thoroughly as possible so there is no miscarriage of justice. We're simply asking you to show us where the locker is so we can gather details the first detectives might have missed. You can do it now and be done with us, or we get a judge to issue a court order and go over your head to your supervisor and ask why you didn't want to cooperate with a simple request."

The porcupine scowled.

Nick smiled.

The porcupine pushed back from his desk, "This way."

"Duke Weaselton claims to have several lockers rented around the city," Judy told him as they walked to the locker area. "Is that unusual?"

"I only know the lockers here."

"Apparently he has it rented long term and not just a twenty-four hour rental."

"We have some of each – short term and long term that is. There are animals who like to store a change of clothing, or other things they might not want a spouse to find, here at the terminal." A little further, "And here we are. I'll leave you and–"

"A couple more questions, if you don't mind," requested Nick.

The porcupine did mind, but decided the fastest way to free himself was to answer the questions. "Yes?"

"Location of video cameras?"

"There."

"Just the one covers this spot?"

"Correct."

The camera was mounted so that it rotated slowly. How slowly? Would an animal be able to avoid being filmed, if careful? "I'll time the rotation," Judy told Nick.

"These are unusual locks," commented Nick. "Not the usual key."

"Keys can be duplicated too easily. Rent a locker short term, duplicate the key, and keep coming back to see what other animals have stored. The magnetic lock can be changed for a new user without re-keying."

"Nice," Nick nodded. It was not what he wanted to hear. He'd assumed an animal had copied a key. It had to have been something else. "In case of power outage?"

"No one would have access until the emergency generator comes on-line. I don't see how–"

"Just gathering the facts. We'll say an animal had rented a locker at some point. What are the chances his magnetic card might open a different locker?"

"Almost impossible. If a card is used in five incorrect locks an alarm sounds. That and the vendor claims there are so many possible combinations we'll never use them all."

"Efficient. Oh, is there a chance that there is a computer record of when lockers are opened? Does the card register that somewhere? Did detectives Jonathan and David ask about that?"

"They didn't..." The porcupine thought for a minute, "But I believe there is a record."

"YES!" Exclaimed the fox and punched the air in triumph. "We'll need that to correlate with the video. I'll call a judge and–"

"I'll print it out for you," the porcupine sighed. "But just for this locker."

"All we need," Judy assured him.

"If you come back to my office with me, it should only take a few minutes to print it out."

"We'll be back in a couple minutes. Nick and I want to talk about what we've seen here."

"What have you seen here? It's lockers."

"True, but we still need to talk."

The porcupine left.

"Camera rotates slowly," Judy told Nick. "Might be time for an animal to open one and put something in without being taped. If he did it quickly."

"Yeah, but we need to know more about these magnetic locks. It sounds like they were designed to not be opened quick. Still... someone could have figured one out."

"And another problem. Let's imagine the video shows us Duke opening the locker, and there is no image of who opened it at a later time shown in the computer record. Do we have anything? The prosecutor will claim it was simply Duke opening it again and it was pure chance that he wasn't caught on the tape."

"You're right about the prosecutor's argument. However there is a very small chance Duke will have an alibi for when his locker was opened again. More likely we'll be able to see some potential suspects in the video. Even if he or she was good enough to not be taped opening the locker the killer might appear in the area of the lockers.

The two collected the print-out of times when Duke's locker had been accessed.

"Something is odd," the porcupine told them.

"What's odd?"

"The last time this was opened before the police came," Dan told them and pointed at the sheet. "Just noticed the other lockers around it reported being opened at the same time. That doesn't make sense."

Nick sought clarification, "That would happen if all the animals renting lockers opened at once?"

"Yes, but that would be... It doesn't seem likely."

"Prosecution will say one of the animals who had her or his locker open at the same time saw Duke put the ammunition in, and was the anonymous caller."

"Prosecutor will claim it," agreed Nick. He looked at the locker manager, "But you said this is unusual. My money is on you being right on that."

Judy studied the list of times the locker had been opened as Nick drove. "I think the killer was watching for Duke."

"How so?"

"Last two openings before the police arrived? Less than thirty minutes apart. He probably watched for Duke, then waited a little while to make sure Duke had left. Not much time for Duke to establish an alibi on the other side of town."

"How does it line up with the anonymous call about the locker?"

Judy consulted her notes. "A little more than fifteen minutes."

"You or I could have run from the bus station to the phone in six, but running calls attention to the runner. Still, I'm hoping we get some potential suspects from the tape even if there's nothing definite. But we won't."

"What do you mean, we won't?"

"Last time the locker was opened? Did Duke or the killer put in damaging evidence with witnesses all around?"

"Well, the killer wouldn't have... Or Duke. This makes no sense."

"Oh, I suspect it will when we see the tape."

"And getting the tape will be a job for Slick Nick, the silver-tongued Fox of Steal. Jonathan and David have it. How do you plan to get it for us to watch? Tell them you think they screwed up the investigation or simply invent a huge lie?"

"Well there's no way they're letting it out of the evidence room."

"I have faith in you. You'll come up with something wonderfully sneaky and under-handed."

"Now, now, Detective Hopps, you're talking about the old Nick Wilde. This is the new and improved version. Nick Wilde two point seven. We may be able to watch it there with Able or Kane. Might even be able to get Jonathan or David to show it to us with a little flattery and leaving out the detail that I think their results are worse than useless." "And I already know the tape won't give us a damn bit of help."


"Alces says see him first thing," Ben told the pair the next morning.

"Why am I not surprised?" muttered the fox.

The moose sighed as he looked at the pair. "I feel like I'm sticking my neck out here. Let me know if you find anything, I need to hear it. What happened yesterday?"

"Well," admitted Judy, "we discovered the detectives from the Fourth did a decent job with the investigation."

It did not improve the moose's expression. "So, willing to consider that Duke Weaselton may be guilty?"

"No," Nick told him. "They did a fairly good job. If I didn't know Duke I might be willing to believe he was the killer. But I know Duke, and he's not. The killer is smart, and worked damn hard on framing Duke. I'm hoping the smart will come back to bite him in the ass. Getting into Duke's locker? The distorted video imagines? Old ammunition? The challenge medals? It's too elaborate. There has to be a slip or two in there."

Alces glanced at Judy, "He believes that. Do you?"

"I believe criminals always make a mistake. The forces of justice will–"

Nick interrupted, "Did you really expect the poster child for optimism to–"

"I also happen to think she's honest," the moose told him. "And the real question was, 'After finding out the detectives at the Fourth weren't fuck-ups, do you still think it is worth your time?'."

"Yes," Judy assured him.

"Okay, try and get some real progress soon."

"Try and get the tape from the Fourth to see if we can find a suspect?" Judy suggested when they reached their desks.

"A little later. Like I told Alces, there are some other things to check. Why don't you check to see if you can find any place that sells old ammunition? I'm guessing that is a dead end. Killer probably found some in his attic or something... Might have even given him the idea. I'm going to find the name of the collector who identified the challenge coin. Is there a market for those things? If the killer just happened to have three around it suggests some mob ties in his family's past. If he needed to buy them he may have left a record."

Fifteen minutes later Nick told Judy, "Heading to a coin shop in an hour. Want to come with me?"

"If you spend the next hour with me working on YouBuy and calling gun shops. It looks like legitimate stores keep records on ammunition sales – and don't sell old ammunition. Not finding anything on YouBuy... So looks like it was either an under-the-counter sale, assuming killer could find a place willing to sell outdated ammunition, or your guess of garage or attic find is probably right."

An old opossum with thick glasses was the owner of Kevin's Koins. Judy stared in amazement at all the different coins and medallions displayed beneath the glass counter, each in a coin holder with a small sticker neatly labeled with mysterious initials such as F, VF, NM, and other combinations as Nick introduced himself. "What do all the letters mean?" she asked.

"She's not a collector," Nick explained to the possum. "In real estate the three most important things to consider are location, location, location. For collectors it's condition, condition, condition. Poor, Fair, Fine, Very Fine, Near Mint – value is based on condition."

"Doesn't rarity enter in there someplace?" asked Judy.

"Someplace, yes. And demand is also a factor," Kevin agreed. "But grading is important. A coin worth two credits in poor condition may be worth five hundred in very fine." He turned to the fox, "You collect coins?"

"No, old records. But I think condition is an issue in all collectibles."

"True enough," nodded the opossum. "You were wanting to know more about the Smokey Joe pieces at the murder scenes?"

"Yes, and I think Judy's concerns may be the most important issues here. What's the supply and demand for Smokey Joe challenge coins? Frankly, it seems odd a gang would even have such a thing."

"I haven't heard of any other mobs having them," agreed Kevin. "Fraternal organizations, businesses, unions," he walked over to a small case at one side of the shop and pointed out examples. "Some police departments have them. Now there isn't a market for mob challenge coins, per se. There just aren't any others. If you have a Smokey Joe challenge medal you have the complete set of gang medallions. The story is Smokey Joe needed them because he had different species in his gang."

"We can confirm that."

"Anyway, demand was fairly low as a result. Was. Publicity changes things. Used to be fine condition might bring fifty credits. Average ten."

"Sold any yourself in the last four or five months?"

"Three. I sold one maybe three months ago... Wish I hadn't. Sold it for thirty-five. Since the story broke in the news I've sold two more – each for more than a hundred-fifty. If the buyers think they're going to go up in value they're probably wrong. In a year it will be out of the papers and the value will drop."

"The one you sold three months ago," Judy asked in an excited voice. "Information on the buyer? Credit card or check information."

Nick told her, "There are certain, ah, financial reasons for dealers and collectors to prefer cash." He glanced at Kevin, "Am I right?"

"You are. I might have the PO box number in my files–"

"Post Office Box? He gave you cash? And asked you to–"

"It arrived by mail. Some collectors like a bit of anonymity, especially if they have very valuable collections. They might fear fear a dealer would tell a thief where–"

"He sent you cash? By mail? You could have–"

The possum drew himself up possum, "An honest dealer wouldn't dream of it. You want a relationship of trust with the collectors... They may buy more. And that one seemed promising. I'll check, but I believe it was the same individual who bought three other, more expensive items at the same time."

Kevin was able to find the PO Box, and Nick and Judy hoped it would provide a name – although it could also belong to a reclusive collector who didn't want the location of a valuable collection known. That were several possible reasons for the purchase of other items. A collector might be interested in all the coins purchased. A second reason was to make the purchase less obvious than simply a Smokey Joe coin. And Nick considered a third possible reason. "Any swap meets or conventions in the last month or two where an animal might have purchased a Smokey Joe coin, or traded for one?"

"Hmm... Good sized one, maybe two months ago. Hairloom Keepsakes ran it, they do three, maybe four shows a year. I had a table, usually do good business."

"Have a card for them?" Nick requested. "They'll have a list of dealers who purchased tables. Do you know if there's much trading going on among collectors who attend?"

"Quite a bit."

"And, before the Smokey Joe story broke, if someone had offered to trade you one of the more valuable coins you just sold for a Smokey Joe challenge medal, would you have done it?"

"In a heartbeat."

"Ouch."

Judy wanted to clarify what she thought she'd heard. "So, you're saying if a trade took place – between private hands – at the convention the killer could have picked up a Smokey Joe coin, and it would be virtually impossible to trace?"

"Pretty much. If we advertise the heck out of our search we might get an animal who made the trade, who might be able to remember the species of an animal who made the swap. And we might get two animals who made a trade of Smokey Joe medals, but not to the killer – but we wouldn't know that. And we might get four animals who didn't make a trade, but are sure they did – one of whom is a pathological liar, one of whom has a bad memory, and two of whom want publicity for themselves."

"Why do I sense you're not optimistic?"

"It's your finely honed detective instincts. But we still get the list of dealers at the swap meet and give them all calls."

At the end of the day they had a dealer who vaguely remembered trading a Smokey Joe and two other items for two of the more value items purchased from Kevin. With all the trading and exchanges at the coin-vention he didn't remember the species of the animal. Another dealer had done a trade by mail, a very fine Smokey Joe exchanged through the mail for the third of Kevin's coins before the convention. The letter were still on file, and the PO Box was the same as Kevin's sale.

Nick allowed himself to feel optimistic as he and Judy headed the post office after obtaining the letter from the dealer. Nick guessed there were no pawprints but those of the dealer on the letter, but renting the PO box could have been the killer's big mistake.

"The box was rented to a blind squirrel?" Judy asked in disbelief when the clerk answered the question of who rented the box.

"I didn't so it myself. It was so weird though that Themi told me about it. That's how I happened to remember it."

"Themi here today?" asked Nick.

"Yeah, I think he's still sorting mail in the back."

Themistocles still found renting a PO box to a blind squirrel hilarious. Neither Nick nor Judy thought it nearly as amusing.

"Another dead end?" Judy suggested as they left the post office.

"Maybe. I'm not giving up yet though. There's a chance the squirrel is a panhandler who has a little room at Michael's flop house."

"How do you know these things?"

"Years on the street. But if he's the squirrel I'm thinking of it means he'd have been happy to go into the Post Office for a small fee."

Nick called the identity of the blind squirrel; they found 'Slappy' on a street corner, cup in hand. He'd been given several bills, told go to the post office, rent a box, and return with a key. Two bills, each a ten were to be his. The animal at the post office had verified the two bills of payment were each tens. Based on his voice the squirrel seemed confident the animal who contacted him was taller than Nick.

"Anything odd about his speech pattern?" Judy asked. "Unusual words or sentence structure?"

"No... Not really."

"You were seeing if it was Duke?" Nick asked Judy.

"We have to ask."

"I think there is a chance Duke could probably speak better than he usually does," Nick said. "I think that accent may be an affectation."

"Who's this Duke? What's an affectation?" asked 'Slappy'.

"Duke's an animal with an unusual speech pattern. My partner was wondering if he might have been the animal who hired you. Thank you for your cooperation. If you remember anything that may be helpful, call the First precinct."

"Any reward?"

"Maybe."

"Where are we going," Judy asked as they left the blind squirrel.

"Back to the post office. The killer had to use the box himself. And there is a video camera!"

"And three months of tape to go through. I doubt they keep them that long."

"We can ask. And we know a couple dates when the challenge coins might have come."

Tapes were not kept for months. By a stroke of luck the days near the last sale had not yet been erased. Nick and Judy noted to location of the PO box and took the tapes back to the First for viewing. They stayed late, scanning through the tapes to find animals opening boxes in the proper area.

"Slow down! What happened?"

Judy stopped the tape and rewound it slightly. The image was grainy, as video tape usually is, but showed the Post Office interior clearly. It was late, and no animals were visible. Suddenly the image became wildly distorted and a figure entered and may have opened the box. The weird distortion made it impossible to tell anything for certain. "Don't know who the killer is," commented Nick. "But he's got Bellwether level smarts."

"And why do I have the feeling the video from the bus terminal will have the same problem?"

"That's one reason I haven't been in a hurry to view it, in case you were wondering."

"It seemed unusually lazy of you."