After he left, Sophie decided to go up to the rooftop garden again to call Amy.

Amy looked exhausted when she answered, but brightened immediately. "Hey! You caught me at a great time! But things are probably not so great for you, since my Imparter is for extreme emergencies."

"Actually, this doesn't really count as an extreme emergency, but it's a human problem in an elf, so we didn't know what to do."

"What did you guys do now?"

"Well…" Sophie started at the beginning and told her what had happened in Loanmore. "So now we think Keefe has a chronic pain disorder."

"Yeesh. Poor guy. Keefe's the blond right?"

"Yeah."

"I could probably teach him sign language. There's a couple deaf kids in my book club, so I know sign language pretty well."

"Moving his hands is super painful for him. But Tam's learning how to extract shadowflux, so maybe we could make it work. But as time passes, it might be useful. When did you join a book club?"

She shrugged. "When I bought all those books for you, Mom and Dad thought I was suddenly super into reading and put me in a book club. I'm not huge on it, but I've made friends, including the two deaf girls. They helped me learn sign language and I've been taking an online class. We've been reading The Lord of the Rings. It's kind of boring and hard to get through, but we can joke behind the teacher's back since she doesn't know sign language and won't learn."

"Be careful not to get in trouble."

"Don't worry. Hey, if you want I can get some movies and stuff for him to watch. If he's able to use his hands, maybe an Xbox or Nintendo or something for him to play on. Since you guys can't be there all the time. And it's not like you can't afford it."

"That sounds great, Amy. We'd have to fiddle with some stuff though."

"I can help if you want me to. But I have to do some homework now. See you later alligator."

Sophie smiled at the farewell that had been commonplace among her human relatives when she was younger. "In a while crocodile." She ended the call and tucked the Imparter in her pocket. It rang as soon as she did.

Sophie huffed and answered it. Her mother Edaline looked a little more haggard than usual, she attributed this to the new T-rex they'd had brought in and had to acclimate to Verdi.

"Hey, sweetheart, how are you?"

"I'm pretty good. Keefe's doing as well as he can and Dex taught me how to play conquistor. It took me a while to get the hang of it, but it's a fun game."

She smiled, retying her hair. "If you want to play it more, we might have to get you your own deck."

"Maybe."

"There's an impromptu Black Swan meeting and they want you there. They're at Havenfield right now."

Sophie sighed. "I don't want to leave Keefe alone. Ro will be back in two days. I just have to keep him entertained until then. He doesn't do super well being by himself for long periods of time."

"The Imparter will work. It's not really problems they need your input on, but the Collective has been scattered and now they're all coming back to update each other. And that includes Keefe's condition. Everyone's been worried about him."

"Do the Black Swan have the ability to contact Iltaurielle?"

"No. Almost everyone is wary of her, so the Council will handle that."

"Okay. I'll head back downstairs. Amy offered to send some human movies and video games to help keep him occupied."

"Did you hail Amy about this?"

Sophie realized her slip-up and cringed. "Yeah. I wanted to find out if she had any information on chronic pain disorders that could be useful."

"Okay. Be sure to let the Council or at least the physicians know if you have anything new."

Sophie nodded and ended the call. She waited a few seconds to see if it would ring again and took the vortinator back down to Keefe's room.

His eyes were closed again, but he opened them and looked over at her when she walked in. Sophie formed the telepathic connection, worrying since he was struggling to breath.

"The Black Swan is meeting up. They want an update on you."

I'm popular today. His voice had lost its playfulness.

"Are you feeling okay?"

The pain fluctuates. Right now it's worse. Not that there's much worse for it to get. I desperately want to curl up and cry, but I know that will only make it worse.

"Is there anything I can do?"

Since Marella's not here, no. It's nice to know you're there though. I can feel your mind against mine -not to be weird!- but it's the only way you can touch me that doesn't explode in pain.

"Anytime. Since school is starting up again, I'll be able to work with Tiergan on extending the time and distance I can hold a telepathic link. I may not always be able to answer you through it, but you'll always be able to talk to me. Ro's going to be back soon too. Her dad sent her to 'break in'" -she put the words in air quotes- "some new recruits since you were in a coma and she was bored. She'll be back in less than thirty six hours."

That will be nice. But she's not a Telepath and I don't have another way of communicating that's not painful. And we can't exactly have a Telepath around every minute of the day.

"Amy had something that might work. How painful is moving your fingers?"

All the bones broken would be an improvement.

"How about relative to talking?"

Probably better.

"Deaf humans use a kind of communication called sign language. You use signs you make with your hands to represent words." Sophie racked her brain for the three or so signs she learned in preschool. "I know a few signs, but not many. I didn't know anyone who was deaf."

I'm assuming being deaf means they can't hear? I didn't want to ask because of the risk of sounding stupid.

"Don't worry. It's another human malady, so I wouldn't expect elves to use the same word in the same context. I know the sign that means 'I love you' and how to sign the alphabet. Do elves use the Latin alphabet? Twenty-six characters?"

I think so. We can probably make it work.

"Okay. This is the sign for 'I love you'. That's the only one I know for sure. Hold you hand out and bend your middle and ring fingers down, keeping the others up." She held up her hand, showing him what it looked like."

I think I can do that. It doesn't look too hard. Keefe held up a shaky hand and slowly bent the fingers down. He couldn't make the full sign, but it was a good effort before his arm collapsed onto the bed. Never mind. That's harder than I thought it would be. Do you mind if you just talk? I'm running out of energy, but I can't sleep.

"Sure. How does a Fitzphie update sound?"

I would tease you if I had the energy. But it sounds interesting.

"I almost wish you would tease me again. You sound so weak. It's awful."

Hey, when I'm having a better day, I'm sure I'll tease you plenty. Just not right now.

"Okay. So Fitz and I had a couple conversations about our sort-of-relationship-sort-of-not situation. The first time was a few days after Loanmore. I agreed to be friends again. The second time was yesterday. We're sort of back on track with our friendship. I agreed to trying our relationship again once life is calmer. Dex has a crush on Biana."

No freaking way. Dexy has a crush on Biana?

"Yeah. He doesn't want me to tell Fitz though. But Dex and Biana definitely have potential to be a thing."

Wow. I kind of want to help them get together.

"Dex is afraid of what would happen though. He doesn't want to say anything because he's afraid of what would happen if he and Biana didn't get matched."

He's got nothing to worry about. Biana had a better chance of being matched with me, but I'm kind of…out of the running.

"Hey don't feel bad." She went to rub him arm in reassurance, but pulled back and settled for a light caress of her mind.

He didn't respond right away. It just feels like… another count against me. I'm completely bedridden, can only communicate telepathically, and I'm basically useless.

Sophie wanted to counter that, but she couldn't think of anything. Keefe felt her hesitance.

You figured it out too. They're aren't many things elves consider important. All the things that are, I don't have or can't do. I can't finish Foxfire, I have no ability or skills, which is worse than being Talentless. And even though I'm probably still technically matchable, my DNA is so badly damaged that I wouldn't be matched with anyone anyway.

"How do you know your DNA is damaged?"

Iltaurielle told me. She tried to be nice, but there isn't really any way to be nice with that information. She said there are massive chunks missing in some places and I'm generally lacking a lot of genetic information. I basically shouldn't be alive. Sophie felt the double meaning behind that sentence.

"But you're still important." Sophie tried to find words that would help. "You're still our friend and we love you. All of us. There's a quote from a human movie that I watched growing up. 'Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.'"

Do I really count though?

"Considering the girl who says the quote is talking about a mutated alien monster who destroys her bedroom, her house, and almost gets her killed over the course of the movie, yeah. She's not talking about biological family. Besides, you're one of my best friends. I couldn't have done what I've done without you. You're my Ohana, just like the rest of our friends. And you're their Ohana too."

I like that word. Ohana.

"Yeah." She felt a tickle in the back of her mind. Fitz was contacting her briefly to let her know that he and some others were there.

His voice still sounded dreamy and she wondered if what Dex had said was true. Is Keefe okay with more visitors? There's me, Biana, Tam, Linh, and Juline. Dex isn't here because he forgot to clean his room and apparently it looks like Verdi had a party in it. Marella's with her parents, trying to see if the information about chronic pain disorders could help her mom.

Okay. He said his pain fluctuates and right now it's worse, so maybe. He's been talking pretty consistently though. And he's starting to sound like himself. I'd prefer teasing, upbeat Keefe over depressed, upset Keefe, but at least he sounds like Keefe.

Fitz's mind brightened. Good. I'm glad he's feeling better.

Sophie and Fitz withdrew from each other. "Do you feel well enough for visitors? Fitz and some other people are here."

Yeah, I heard your whole conversation. I'm feeling a little better. Not by much, but better. Well enough for visitors. Marella's not coming?

"Not until later."

Okay.

There was a light knock at the door and Sophie opened it with a flick of her wrist. Fitz stepped in.

"Hey Sophie." Fitz gave her a small wave.

What's wrong with him? He looks like he's a bit drunk.

Sophie chose to answer telepathically. All I did was kiss him on the cheek!

Yikes. He's got it bad. Not that I'd be any better off.

She acknowledged him, but didn't answer. "Hey Fitz. Where's everyone else?"

"Downstairs still. They're making sure everyone's updated. I'm not a Team Valiant member or an adult, so I'm not required to stay. And I wanted to say hi."

Aww, is poor Fitzy being left out?

Sophie smiled and stood. "Okay. But before you say anything you might regret, Keefe can hear us. I know he looks asleep, but he isn't."

Nope! Still alive over here!

"He's also keeping a running commentary in my head."

Fitz chuckled. "Might as well give him something to talk about, huh?

There was something about his voice she could not place, but it sent her heart from calm to flutter-mode to oh-my-gosh-is-he-going-to-kiss-me in 0.2 seconds.

Hey! Don't you guys start flirting and getting all smoochy! I'm right here!

Sophie sighed, the feeling in her chest gone. "Was that necessary Keefe?"

Very.

Fitz raised an eyebrow.

"Running commentary, remember?"

"Ah." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Are his eyes closed?"

She nodded.

"Okay." Fitz pulled her into a tight hug and dropped his head on her shoulder. There was a slight dampness and she realized he was crying silently.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" Sophie hugged him just as tightly, gently rubbing his back.

He lifted his head to look at her and dried his eyes, tears making the teal irises shimmer. "We, we found Alvar earlier today. Well, we found his body."

"Is that all?"

His brief look of confusion made her clarify. "It's just, you never really cared about him, or at least put up a pretty good front."

"It's…not the same. I tried to hate him with everything I had, but…I've never seen a body before. I've never seen death before. And it brought everything to the front of, of my mind, all those times when he really cared and it was this strange feeling that I…I didn't know what to do with."

Sophie held him tightly, feeling the wet patch on her shoulder grow. "It's a weird feeling, isn't it?"

He nodded, gripping handfuls of her shirt in a vain attempt to stave off more tears.

"When I was…ten I think, my grandma died. I didn't necessarily like her that much, she was kind of strict and almost never let us stay up past like eight or something like that, but when we found out she'd died, all I could think about were the times when she gave us cookies, or hot cocoa after going sledding, or tell us stories, all bundled up in front of her old fireplace, about when she was an Army nurse overseas. She once had to defuse a bomb that landed in the middle of their camp because no one else was brave enough.

"It was hard, and that was thinking death was normal. I saw people die every day on the news, in the newspaper obituaries. Humans knew they had a limited time, eighty years, or a hundred if they were lucky, and you had to make the best out of the time you had. I can't imagine what it must feel like for you, growing up in a culture that doesn't understand death, because elves just don't die. Regardless of how much you say you hate him, knowing they no longer exist, that they're gone, that's a hard feeling. I get it."

He nodded. Sophie wanted to just hold him and let him cry, but the height disparity between them made it a bit difficult. So she settled for leaning her head against his chest and rubbing his back. Keefe either had nothing to say or was keeping his thoughts from her mind.

"I don't like thinking that I'm actually grieving for my brother." The words were meant to have venom behind them, but the force just wasn't there.

"Hey. It's okay if you are. I'd be upset too. Like I said, dealing with death is hard. And finding his body, that must have been horrible."

"Yeah…yeah it was. When I heard Biana scream the first time, I thought it was a snake or something. She's really scared of them. But then she screamed for us to come and I was terrified she'd found something bad. When I got to her, I…I almost threw up."

Sophie gave him a wan smile. "He probably looked way worse than when I found him."

Fitz shivered. "He had lost all the muscle and fat on his body. I could see every bone. They had broken through the skin in some places because it was stretched so tight. He was curled up on the ground and…" His voice trailed off.

She lowered him into her vacant chair. It was big enough for her to sit next to him, with some squishing required.

That sounds like a horrible way to die. Keefe finally spoke up, quieter then she had ever heard him. I don't think anyone deserves that kind of end.

Fitz sniffled. "It sort of, brought home that…this happens. I mean, with Councillor Kenric, it hurt, but I didn't know him as well as you did and, circumstances and stuff."

"I get it."

"But seeing him there, realizing that he'd just curled up and waited to die, waiting for something to kill him, it was like, death is real." He wiped his eyes again. "My parents want to plant a Wanderling for him. Maybe not in the Wanderling Woods, and without the ceremony or anything. I'm…not opposed to the idea. Neither is Biana. Not anymore."

Sophie nodded, reaching up and tucking a lock of hair behind his ear. He leaned into her hand, resting his head in her palm. She smiled and ran her thumb over his temple.

"I'm glad you're here. Thanks for listening, both of you."

"Anytime."

Keefe reached out a shaking hand and gently bumped Fitz's arm, regardless for the horrendous pain the action must have caused.

"This chair's not super comfy with the both of us. We can move if you want."

"What about Keefe?"

"We can keep a telepathic link with the three of us so he's not totally alone. But we don't have to move if you don't want to."

"Is it okay with Keefe?"

Totally. Go make the Fitzter feel better. No matter how much I don't like my mom, finding her body curled up somewhere like that, I'd still be really, really upset.

Fitz formed a telepathic link with both of them and followed Sophie down the stairs. She was surprised that he kept a tight grip on her hand, but realized it was probably because he needed something to hang on to.

Are you doing okay, Keefe? Fitz's telepathic voice was just as shaky.

Okay is a relative term. No, I'm certainly not 'okay', but I am feeling a little better. Like I told Sophie, the pain fluctuates. It'll go between better and worse.

I hope it gets better soon.

Thanks.

Sophie defaulted to her room and Fitz followed. She dropped his hand to move the books off the bed.

"That's a decent pile."

"Yeah. There's a lot of books."

They settled on the bed, Sophie higher than Fitz so he could lean his head on her shoulder.

Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?

Various recent memories flitted through his mind's eye. She took time to pay attention to each one. A lot actually, but it's kind of embarrassing with Keefe listening.

Dude, who am I going to tell? I can't talk!

It's…not that.

Guys, if you are going to fight over me now, I might ditch both of you.

You're not serious right?

It was hard to tell who said that and it may have been both of them. No. You're both my friends and both need my support right now. I wouldn't leave.

Fitz snuggled closer, sliding his arms around her waist. Sophie couldn't stop her heart beating faster, despite the very-not-suggestive air. But Keefe picked up on it anyway.

Getting cuddly in there?

No. But Fitz didn't let go of her. Do either of you mind if I talk about something real quick?

No… Sophie was slightly apprehensive.

Well, I know it's the same day and everything, but…

Fitz, if this is about our relationship, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to. You don't have to worry about things being weird between us or anything like that. We're good, really. And I'm sorry for my part in it. I shouldn't have asked that of you the way I did.

Keefe mercifully stayed quiet.

Fitz smiled and whispered, "Thank you so much." He reached up and gently kissed her cheek, almost the same way she'd done to him earlier than day.

You guys okay? I may not be able to feel emotions anymore-

You can't feel emotions anymore?! Fitz jerked up, eyes wide and head barely missing Sophie's jaw.

Oh yeah. You weren't there for that conversation. Yeah, Keefe's ability and skills are gone. According to Elwin, the tissue in that area is just so badly damaged it doesn't function anymore.

Oh. I'm really sorry, Keefe.

It's not as bad as I thought it would be. Anyway, I was going to say, I may not be able to feel emotions anymore, but I can feel your minds and unless I'm mistaken, things are getting a bit fuzzy?

Sophie snorted. Fuzzy. There are plenty of words you could have chosen and you went with fuzzy?

Would you have preferred steamy, suggestive?

Fuzzy's fine.

So, Fitzy, now that you and Foster are back together-

I'm not going to let you finish that sentence.

Sophie sighed, dropping her head onto her pillow. Please don't go there, Keefe.

I'm going to ANYWAY. You guys can't punish me for it and I need something interesting to think about that isn't the immense pain I'm in. So, Fitz, you gonna take her out somewhere nice?

Fitz sighed. Yes, I am. But not for a while, on her request.

Ohhh, okay. Cool. I don't mean for this to be awkward, I'm just kind of bored.

Sophie shrugged, knocking Fitz on the nose by accident. She whispered, "Sorry." At least you feel well enough to tease us. I never realized how much I liked the nickname 'Foster' until you didn't feel well enough to call me it.

I'm glad you appreciate my efforts. I'm getting tired though. So I think I'll rest. I've got several hours more before my next shadowflux dose.

Okay. Sophie and Fitz pulled back from Keefe's mind, leaving a tenuous link so he could contact them if he needed to.

"So, what happened with Dex? Did you ask him?"

Sophie sighed. "I did, but he didn't want me to tell."

"Oh. I only asked because I found out she likes him and I didn't want her to end up with a broken heart."

"In that case, what kind of things does your sister like? I'll pass the information on."