The walk to the cemetery was full of mixed feelings, so distracted that a vampire almost knocked her down at the entrance to the graveyard. She was thankful, though, as the fight helped her focus once again, not let her emotions blind her. She had to be open, receptive. The past is the past, she kept repeating to herself as she took the last steps to the crypt.
She knocked and waited for a response, his 'come in' letting her know he was probably watching TV. Her mind flashed back to her first weeks in Sunnydale, sitting next to him for hours, fighting alongside him, knowing she had a trustworthy ally with her. A friend.
Hesitating, she opened the door, slowly coming into the dimly lit room, where her vampire nursed a bottle of some kind of liquor while watching some stupid TV show. It was always the same with him. It made him even more endearing, in her opinion. He was a simple man, vampire, with a depth that most couldn't even fathom, even less on someone without a soul.
He lightly turned his head to look at her and immediately noticed her tense stance and guarded expression. "Something wrong, love?"
Love.
She walked over to the couch in complete silence, lowering herself to the seat without glancing at him, her jaw clenching and unclenching continually. That completely stole his attention from the telly, fully turning towards her and leaving the bottle on a nearby table. "What is it, Ally Cat?"
That nickname. She loved that nickname. Only he used it. The rest called her Alls, even Allygator earlier that day. But Ally Cat was Spike's nickname for her. Only his.
"I know about the chip."
Silence ensued. Given vampires didn't need to breath, the only sounds in the crypt were the ones coming from the TV and Ally's breathing, controlled but undeniably deeper than usual. Something only a vampire could perceive, their senses prepared to notice those things in their preys. Yet, she wasn't his prey. He was her victim.
"So the Scoobies told you. Alright." His voice was thick, his hands had turned into fists, but he tried to remain as calm as possible, at least on the outside. "I guess they told you more stuff, didn't they?"
"Yeah." She fiddled with her hands on her lap, eyes set on the floor in front of her.
"From before the chip, right?"
"Yeah."
Another silence, this time longer. Ally was just trying to come up with words that didn't make it seem like she was attacking him, finding it extremely difficult, so she decided to let him say whatever he wanted to say first.
"I want your version." She glanced up at him, turning in her seat to pull her feet up on the couch, facing him, letting him know she was ready to listen.
Apparently, he didn't expect that. He actually expected her to try to stake him and ask questions later, but that was just Ally for you. Her trusting attitude would probably get her in deep trouble some day.
"I told you I was... I am evil." He picked up the bottle again, gulping down the liquor like a true alcoholic, probably just avoiding having to talk for a few seconds. "I'm a hundred and fifty, and I've killed, and tortured, and savaged for most of those years, and enjoyed every second of it." At this point, he locked gazes with her, taking in her reaction, and thoroughly surprised at her indifference. "Railroad spikes got me my vampire name."
"And now?" That was what she wanted to now. The present. The past was the past. She knew that damn well. Hell, L.A. practically ingrained that in her.
"I'm a sorry excuse for a vampire." He sighed and treaded his fingers through his hair, messing with the combed back locks. "When I got the chip, it was pure survival. Help the Slayer or die. Then it was convenience. She paid me for help, and I wanted the money. Plus, I wanted to hit something, even if it was demons, or my own kind. Anything I could kill, I'd take. I wanted the fight, the rush." He left the bottle aside again and hunched over, leaning his forearms on his thighs and resting his head on his hands. "And then you came here. Bloody hell, you practically destroyed everything that was me. Made me turn into a bloody babysitter, actually helping the Scoobies for free, wanting to help them. If fifty years ago, hell, four years ago, I'd known what I'd become, probably would've killed myself." He let his hands fall down, eyes unseeing, lost in his memories.
She reached out and took his hand in hers, getting ready for the big question. "What if you got the chip out?"
"Don't think things would change. Nothing could be worse than knowing you hate me."
And his voice was so truthful, so sincere, she believed everything he said. He had basically turned down everything he stood for, and would even stay that way given a chance to get back to what he was before, his old glory, for her. Was he evil? No. He had the capacity to do evil. But so did she. Yet they chose not to, and that was what mattered.
She placed her free hand on the side of his face, turning it towards her and leaning forward to capture his lips. Slowly, she shifted closer to him, eventually getting her arms around his neck, his hands finding their way to her waist. He pulled her closer, her legs going to the sides of his hips, straddling him. Their lips moved in sync, tasting each other, tongues meeting as the kiss got more fervent.
She couldn't imagine anyone else giving so much for love, changing so drastically, completely remaking himself. He loved so fully, so intensely, she wondered what she'd done to deserve that, to deserve him. No matter what others might think, he was one in a million, and she was a lucky woman.
His thoughts followed a similar line. She knew what he'd done, what he was, and yet she wanted him. He felt like he'd hit jackpot, undeserving and scared of losing her any moment. So scared, it made him want to cherish any and every moment with her.
And then his mouth travelled down her face and to her neck, exploring her, getting soft moans from the girl. And he thought that it was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard, like music to his ears, and he wanted to play it on repeat.
She felt herself melting into him, forgetting about everything but him, them, together. She needed that. She needed him. She wanted him. And she would get him.
That night, she was in heaven.
The next morning, it took everything she had to tear herself from a sleeping Spike, gathering her clothes around the king size bed on the lower level of the crypt. Her eyes struggled to leave the figure on the bed, his pale skin and lean muscles drawing her back in, making it even harder to distance herself from him. She needed to think about something else, but, god, she hadn't had a night like that in such a long time... If she'd ever had one like that.
With one sniff at her top, she decided to wear one of Spike's t-shirts, fully aware that she needed a shower and fresh clothes. She had come straight from her training the previous night, she probably stank.
Carefully, she leaned over her vampire and placed a soft kiss on his cheek before leaving the crypt and heading home, knowing that she would have to face her friend's reaction to her relationship with the vampire as soon as she got there. Well, she wasn't going to lie. She loved him and he was on their side, Xander could stick it up his ass for all she cared.
