A thousand words mingled in her mind, a thousand sentences, endless possibilities. Some of them good, some of them bad. As the ways their conversation could go crossed her mind, she felt her blood freeze in her veins. Every single unsuccessful ending attacked her at once, drowning her in misery, in images of the future without him. Alone, depressed, and broken. The dozens of possible miserable outcomes unravelled in front of her eyes, scenes where he left, he chose another one over her, where he despised her.
Her eyes watered and she bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling. She was nearing the crypt already, every step making dread expand further in her chest.
Visions of Spike with Drusilla once again made her hands turn into fists. She was going to hurt him again, she knew, how could he not realize that? She was never going to love him as he deserved, she would never have him as her one and only.
And yet, had she not hurt him too?
She opened the door to the crypt without knocking, making the vampire jump up from his seat on the couch, watching TV, and turn around to face her. He frowned when he saw her standing at the entrance. She soon shut the door and strode forward, the bleach blond's face scrunching even more in confusion. "Ally? What's going...?"
His question was cut off by the brunette launching herself at him, hugging him tightly and burying her face on his shoulder, trembling as she could barely contain the sobs. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... Please, please, do-don't leave." She begged, clutching at his t-shirt and fisting the material in her hands. "I ne-never wanted to hurt you... Please..." Her fears grew when she did not feel him hug her back. Oh, no, it was over. He did not want her anymore, he would not forgive her. "I'm sorry... Please... I miss you..." Her voice trembled even more, broken sobs cutting her sentences until she could not say more than a couple words together.
Then, he grabbed her shoulders and tore her from him, his face a mix of bewilderment and concern as he looked intently at her. "What the bloody hell are you going on about?"
"I hurt you." Her voice turned into little more than a whisper. "I never want to hurt you. I don't want to be like her." She finished with a hiss, her jaw clenching, teeth greeting as a wave of hatred flew through her. She had hurt him, over and over.
"Her?" He tilted his head, not sure who she was referring to. He was caught off guard with her entrance, her tears and her pleas. He didn't understand what was going on. They hadn't seen each other in days, he had been wallowing in his own self pity. Bloody awful Big Bad he was, weeping after a Slayer. Yet he knew she was different, she was the one he needed. Too bad his pride was too big to allow him to go back to her once again. He had started to think about his isolation as a punishment for his idiocy. How could he have ever expected to be as important for her as she was for him?
Maybe he had been wrong, judging from her current state.
"Drusilla." She spat, like venom that needed to be taken out of her system. "I won't be like her. I won't." She promised, a fiery determination replacing the tears and vulnerability in her eyes. That was more like the Ally he knew.
He knew what she was talking about, somehow. Still, he straightened in surprise, his eyebrows shooting up to his hairline. Of course she wasn't like Drusilla. It was obvious. How could she even think he would compare them? Yet, he had, hadn't he? He had thought of the times he had caught Dru with another one, thinking it would happen again with Ally.
In fact, he knew she was nothing like his ex. He knew she would not do that to him. It was hard and it hurt, knowing there had been someone else, but, really, the situation couldn't be more different. It had been a lust spell, not much she could control there. Moreover, she had told him, she had come to see him first, had ran all the way to the crypt only to find it empty while under the spell.
"I know." He finally replied, letting go of her shoulders and sitting back down on the couch. "Wasn't your fault, love." He let her know, voice downcast and his posture hunched over.
Love. He'd said it again. It felt like a weight had been lifted off her chest.
"But..." She started again, noticing things were not right yet.
He cut her off before she could say anything else. "It hurt, yeah, but it's not your fault. That bloody witch, that's who's to blame. I just... you know, reminded me of all those times. But you're not like her. I know that. You're way better. Hell, you're the bloody Slayer and you haven't tried to kill me yet, not once." He smirked, if only lightly, leaning against on the couch, his arm draped over the back, inviting her to join him. "Just needed time, love. 'tis alright."
He wasn't going to leave. He didn't despise her. He was forgiving her.
Heck, when she thought she couldn't love him more, he did that. Damn him.
Instead of sitting next to him, she threw herself over him, knocking him on the couch until he was lying back, straddled by the brunette as she passionately attacked his mouth. As shocked as he was, he soon recovered, growling deep in his throat as he held her to him, flipping them over, not really thinking it through. They fell off the couch, both gasping as they hit the floor, yet resuming their kiss a couple seconds later. Somehow, while Ally tugged at his t-shirt, the vampire picked her up, stumbling all the way downstairs, barely reaching the bed before she yanked on his belt. She wanted it all off.
"Alls!" A scream woke her up, sitting up in one movement as her hand reached for something to defend herself with from the attacker, only to find Buffy a few feet from the bed, a candle in hand, ready to throw it at her.
"Buff? What the...?" She suddenly remembered she was naked, yanking the bedsheet higher to cover her as much as possible, Spike not even stirring next to her.
"God, do you two sleep through anything? I was like yelling, and nothing." She huffed, glaring at the vampire still asleep.
"I haven't slept well since the memory spell, Buff. And we were tired..." Ally blushed, tightening her hold on the sheet. "What are you doing here?"
Buffy's lips turned into a fine line, her eyes narrowing right before she threw the candle at Spike, startling him. "About time." She snapped while the vampire looked around, huffing when he saw the other Slayer looking at them. "You sleep like the dead. Then, again, you are..."
"I'm a bit knackered. Had a long night." He smirked at the girl next to him, taking in her naked form under the sheet.
The blonde rolled her eyes, picking up some clothes before throwing them at the couple. "Get dressed. Dawn's missing."
Those two words were enough to send Ally into overdrive, wondering what it was about her sister that made her go missing so often. The young Slayer hadn't even been with them for a year, as she already felt like she was going to die young, if not slaying, by getting a heart attack worrying over her baby sister.
A/N: Don't forget to follow/review! If I want to improve and give you better quality content, I need to know what's wrong first, what you think should be improved. Feedback is essential here, so please, review and tell me what you think. Hope you enjoyed that, should be disclosing more info on Ally's past in the next few chapters.
Lee out.
