Dear Prongs,
Petunia lost her child. I spent all morning on the day before our break started preparing a reviving potion for her but I could do nothing for her child. She woke up yesterday; the potion took two days to heal her. And when mum told her that I had prepared a potion to help wake her up, she lost her mind. She hates me even more now. She told me I had ruined her life; that I should have let her die with her child because now she won't be able to face Vernon ever again and she can't live without Vernon either. What surprised me was Vernon's reaction. He has been so supportive of her; he even thanked me for saving her. In fact, when Petunia was being terrible to me, he took me out of the room sat me down and told me to not worry about it. Petunia was really excited about the child and it is just the pain of her loss being channeled out on me because she does not like me. He then asked me to stay away from her from now and that he plans to marry her as soon as she feels well enough and it would probably during the term or my examinations. I don't understand Vernon, nor do I like him but I am glad Tuney has someone who loves her so much. Sometimes, I wonder, especially with the war in our world, will we get the chance to love someone so devotedly? Should we even allow ourselves to love someone so completely? With so many deaths every day, is love even worth it in our world, especially with the fear of loss looming like a dark shadow behind us all the time.
I know you want to stay anonymous but I wish I could talk to you, see you for real, touch you maybe get a hug from you. We have exchanged a few letters but I feel this pull towards you because you understand me and you don't judge me even when I am being a complete idiot.
You remind me of how Severus used to be at some point. Snarky, smart, funny, someone I could rely on to not be judgmental. Did I ever tell you, that he introduced me to the wizarding world, he taught me to control my magic a little. As a couple of eight year olds, we had plans for school, we were Princess Lily and Prince Severus, slayers of wayward dragons, protectors of innocents. But at times I don't really know this Severus I am friends with now. There is something dark in him that no matter what I do, I can't push away.
All my other friends wonder why I talk to him. Sometimes, I wonder why I stick up for him too. I know he is fascinated with dark arts, obsessed even. I know he is slowly but surely moving towards Voldemort, but something in me is not able to erase the memory of the innocent boy I once knew. The boy who assured me that my blood status will not really matter because I was so much better and talented.
I have already lost Petunia; at least I think I have. I don't want to lose Severus too because that would mean losing all of my childhood. What do I do Prongs? How do I bring Severus back? I know he is not lost, I know there is some innocence left in him. I know he can be pulled back from the dark arts, I know if I try hard enough, I would be able to pull him out of it, but then I fear what if all my efforts go to waste? What would I do? How will I live without the one person who knows me like the back of his hand, the one person I turn to at all times, the one person who has stood by me through thick and thin. I don't even know why I am burdening you with this but this break, while Severus is at my side all the time even when he is attentive to me, he is not really here and I guess that is troubling me.
Waiting for your letter.
Lily
James Potter read through the letter in the dead of the night and his heart ached. He was torn with jealousy he felt for Snape, who had the love and devotion of the only woman he could ever love and the pain he felt for Lily. He wished he could take away Lily's tears with her pain but he couldn't. He thought of his last conversation with Snape. So, Snape had listened to him but Lily being the ever perceptive person knew that he really wanted to be elsewhere. James wished he could do something about it, make Lily realize that Snape had already dived into the dark arts and there was no coming back for him. In that moment, James Potter that he would do everything in his power to bring out this one truth in front of Lily to save her from the heartbreak that Snape would cause by becoming a death eater.
He sat down to pen his reply to her before waking up Sirius and discussing this idea with him. Both of them decided that it would be good for her to give up on Snape, he wasn't even worth it as it is. Tomorrow they would write to Peter and Remus about the same and probably invite them over to the Manor for the day to discuss the idea.
"James you can't be serious about this." Remus said shaking his head as soon as he stepped out of the fireplace at the Potter Manor. James, Sirius and Peter who till now were busy discussing their great prank before the start of their OWLs looked up.
"Why not?" James asked brows furrowed, "You agreed that a muggle fairytale prank would be great for breaking the tension before the exams." Sirius looked at Remus curiously while Peter nodded enthusiastically.
"I am not talking about the prank." Remus said, "I am talking about the letter you sent me. I am talking about your plan to expose Severus in front of Lily."
"Well, I am serious about that too."
"So am I." Sirius added from his chair.
"How do you plan to do that? And who gave you the right to decide for her? It is her life, this is her relationship with her best friend, let her draw her boundaries."
"But Remus, you and I both know that Snivellus would end up hurting her, she is not giving up on him because she still hopes that he could give up his dream of being a death eater, she still believes that her blood status doesn't matter to him." James added heatedly.
"Maybe her blood status doesn't matter to him." Remus pointed out.
"But what about other muggleborns? What about the attack on Mary, all of us here know that it was Snape's spell." Sirius argued, "And do you honestly think Remus, that Lily would not be hurt if she finds out that Snape is a hypocritical bastard, who claims her blood status doesn't matter to him and promptly goes off to kill other muggleborns and muggles."
"I know Lily would leave him if he ever does that." Remus admitted, "But let her find this out on her own, let her make that decision. We never know, she might just be able to turn him, if she speaks so highly of him, maybe he is not that bad."
Both James and Sirius snorted. "James are you sure that you only want to expose Snape in front Lily, to save her from a future heartbreak? Are you sure that you are not eliminating your only competition for her affections?" Peter asked suddenly, looking sharply at James.
Remus whipped his head to look at a flustered James as Sirius smirked before saying, "Of course that is the added advantage."
"She might love him, maybe none of us considered that but maybe that's why she is not giving up on him." Peter said, "Sometimes, when we love someone we are desperate enough to believe that if we do things right, if we alter ourselves we would be able to save the prized relationship as well as change that person. Look at my mum, she still believes that dad would someday stop beating her up, it has been 19 years to their marriage and I have lost all chances of ever having a sibling because of what he did to her." He finished his statement with a disgusted expression on his face.
The four boys looked at each other before James said slowly, "You know, eliminating competition was my ulterior motive. But after what Peter said, I would rather she love a mountain troll that appreciates her than be with Snape who has the potential to break her spirit. I am not going to allow that." He said fiercely, his eyes alight with fire. Sirius nodded, his jaw set and his grey eyes glinting dangerously, Remus squared his jaw. He knew he wanted to protect Lily but he still wasn't convinced that manipulating Lily this way was the only solution. Peter nodded with a determined look on his face, he can't save his mother, but if he could help it, he would not let any other girl become a shadow of his mother, especially not the girl who was so special to all his friends.
So, another chapter done with. Next up would be the mudblood incident and the end of fifth year. Then would be sixth year, Prongs would be exposed and a love story would continue from there. Do read and review. No seriously, I need reviews. Check out my other fics and let me know what you think about them too. Happy reading.
The fishes
