Dear Prongs,

I guess the whole school knows about the incident at the lake by now, so, you must have heard about it too. What you don't know is that Severus broke my heart that day at the lake. He was my best friend. I had never imagined a life without him. He was the one to promise me that blood status did not matter, that talent was all that mattered but he broke that promise. He held my birth against me. I am not mad at him, I am hurt. I will be honest with you Prongs. I think I was falling for him a little. Severus had always been there for me. He was kind, gentle, witty, understanding, sensitive, caring even protective. He did not bully anyone like Potter normally does; he had the strength in him to be supportive of me even when he had not met many kind, supportive people in his life.

But I guess all of it was an illusion. It feels so unreal, for a minute I knew who Severus was, I knew him like the back of my hand and in that one moment all of that shattered. I don't know who Severus is anymore, I don't recognize him. I don't even know when he morphed into a death eater. I guess the signs were all there from the beginning, I was just too trusting to see them.

Do you know he was always mean to Petunia, not that Petunia was nice to him but I always thought it was more of a mutual dislike based on who they were as individuals. Now that I think of it, I remember him telling me that Petunia was not important because she was just a muggle. But I have never heard Severus say bad things about any other muggleborn. I have never even heard him call someone a mudblood. Yes, he did not like Mary or Patrick or Jeremy or any other muggleborn in our year but Severus rarely likes people. He is cynical, he has always been cynical and that's why I believed that we would be perfect for each other. He is too cynical and I am too trusting, we would have balanced each other out.

Do you know when we were young; we would pretend to be Princess Lily (who was a witch) and Prince Severus (who was a wizard). We would pick up twigs and twirl them around and we would go save villages from dragons and banshees and the likes. Severus taught me to control my magic. We would make blades of grass fly, we would swing really high and then let go, it was competition to see who would land the farthest without hurting themselves. Severus taught me about magical creatures. We even saw a colony of gnomes in the forest near our home. Severus said that they were anomalies as most gnomes are found in wizarding households but we had a lot of fun, picking up gnomes and playing with them. One even bit me once, and I cried up a storm and Severus was so distressed that he clenched my hand and I screamed because it hurt and it was already hurting because of the gnome bite and then when he removed his hand, the wound had healed itself. That was the day I told Severus I want to be a magical healer, and he said he wanted to be a potioneer.

He said we would work as a team; he would create healing potions for all sorts of illnesses. And I could use them to treat people. He told me I would be the best healer ever and that everyone would only want me because I would be really nice to them.

Why am I telling you all this? It doesn't matter. Severus is gone. Do you know that he never really trusted you. He kept warning me against you. He disliked you so much. He was worried that you would break my heart, and I promised him that I would run to him and demand his shoulder to cry on. Look how the tables have turned, he broke my heart and I seek your shoulder to cry on.

I am losing my mind. The holidays are about to start, I don't know how I will survive these holidays. Alice and Marlene have been kind enough to invite me to their homes in August, after they come back from Greece (they are holidaying with the Potters, I don't even know how they stand that bullying toerag but they seem to adore him. Beats me really. Maybe that's how they felt about my friendship with Severus. I hope they don't get hurt just as bad.)

Anyway, I should get going, a lot of packing to do. I am sending it through a school owl, because it is the middle of the night right now. The owl would find you in your dormitory, and your identity would be safe. I hope you reply before we love.

Love

Lily

James Potter sighed, Lily had sent her love but he couldn't feel the warmth of it. He smiled indulgently as he read about her childhood memories again. He could imagine a young, beautiful Lily running in a meadow chased by a dark haired child. For some reason James could not imagine the innocence in Snape's face. He read the letter again. His heart breaking with hers, she was falling for Snape. Those words, her memories of him burned James' heart. He couldn't help but feel jealous of Snape. He slipped out of bed, taking his invisibility cloak with him. He wanted to take a walk to clear his head before replying to Lily.

James wandered around the empty corridors remembering the numerous times he had seen Snape and Lily laugh at some corner or meet at some other place. He remembered the hexes he had sent Snape's way out of jealousy. If he was honest with himself, James had been jealous of Snape since the first day because while Lily had chosen to dislike him, she was kinder to Severus Snape. James had disliked the boy only because he wanted to join Slytherin, but that dislike had taken an ugly turn when James realized that Snape was in love with and had a fair chance of winning the love of Lily Evans and he did win her love. James sighed dejectedly; his feet carried him to the Astronomy tower. He was surprised that it was empty. Mostly on the last day of the term, love birds flogged the Astronomy tower to be with each other before being separated for 3 months.

He sat down near a window. Not really minding anyone else, he didn't bother removing his invisibility cloak. He did not want anyone know he was there. He pulled out a parchment from his pocket and started writing his reply.

Dear Lily,

I am sorry that you are hurting so much. I am sorry that your friendship with Snape took such an ugly turn. I have three friends who are more like brothers to me and I have been through a phase where I thought I would be losing one of them forever. It is not a happy thought; I was so distressed at the thought of losing one. I don't even want to know the pain that such a betrayal brings. Forgive me Lily, but I value friendship and trust above everything else. You do not break your promises to a friend. You do not make false promises to a friend either and you never betray their trust, you never prey on their worst insecurities. That is not what friendship is all about.

If Severus promised you that your blood status would not matter to him, he should have kept his promise. I am sorry to say this Lily but it could be a possibility that maybe you were falling for the idea of Severus Snape, rather than the man himself. How else would you explain the differences between what you saw him as and what he really turned out to be?

Lily, I know you are hurting right now and I am sorry that I can't do much for you. But look at this way. It is better you found out now, before you were in too deep. I have seen people have their spirits broken because they were deeply in love with an idea and couldn't change the reality to match up to that idea. They were infinitely lost in the loop of trying to change themselves, in order to the earn the remorse and compassion of the ones they love, not really realizing that it is they who choose to love an idea and chase after it, the reality was always different and much more sinister. They never realized that all of their sacrifices would be fruitless because they never loved and were never loved by the real person behind the mask.

Imagine being caught in such a loop, Lily. Imagine finding out much later that Snape really aimed to be a death eater; would it have been easier for you to leave him then? Or would you have tried to turn him and failed at it? I know you don't give up, I know you wouldn't have given up on him either, but where would such a situation leave you?

I know I might sound insensitive, but Lily, if Snape lied to you about everything, if all his promises fell short as soon as he was humiliated publicly, do you think he was a very good friend to start with? Do you think your other friends would have humiliated you like that? If no, then you have your answer. Please don't fret over what is gone. Please don't compare and analyse the Snape of your memories with the one you see now. It could be that he meant every word he said to you, when he said them to you but people changed and he changed.

Please try to move on with life with good memories of him. Don't focus on the bad. Focus on the fond memories you would share with your children someday. Snape was worth it at some point, if not now. Let him go and make peace with it. Forgive him and move on. You will feel lighter, happier.

I hope I was of some help to you. Remember I am always there for you.

Yours forever

Prongs

When he was satisfied with his letter, he rolled it up and pocketed it. As he stood up to leave the astronomy tower, he spied a lone figure sitting on a nearby parapet. He would have recognized the red hair anywhere, he had fantasised about tangling his hands in them since forever.

He did not know what possessed him, as he made his way towards her. He sat down next to her and took his time in observing her. She was looking at the stars, a faraway look in her eyes.

"Hey." He said softly, she jumped, looking around wildly. "It's me." He said reassuringly, as he removed the cloak.

Her eyes turned cold. "What do you want Potter." She said harshly, looking away from him.

"Nothing. I just- I just wanted to apologise for the other day."

She turned to look at him warily, but did not say a word.

"I shouldn't have gone after Snape. It was out of line. I won't make any excuses either, what I said to you and did to him were wrong. I shouldn't have done that and I am sorry."

"It changes nothing, Potter."

"I know, but I never meant for you to get hurt or to create a rift between you and him. Not like this, not by hurting you so much. I am sorry."

"I heard your apology the first time and what's it to you anyway? You never thought twice before hurting me, why should it be any different now?"

James winced at the sharpness of her tone. "I never meant to hurt you. I have never done anything to consciously hurt you. Bloody hell, Evans, I am crazy about you, I would die before hurting you."

"Then why do humiliate me all the time? Why do you ask me out so publicly? Why do you have to make a spectacle of me? Do you know how much the other girls hate me? Do you know the kind of things they do and say to me? Had it not been for Alice, Marlene, Mary and Severus I would-" She stopped abruptly, shaken up by her admission. She had sworn to never let Potter know how much he bothered her. And she had referred to Severus again, when will she let him go?

James' eyes bulged out. While his proposals and her rejections were a part of public entertainment, he honestly believed that only grand gestures would help him win Lily over. He had never thought that all of this would have a negative impact on her. Marlene and Alice had asked him time and again to stop his stupid pranks but he had brushed them aside believing that women could only be won over with grand gestures. Hadn't Frank won Alice the same way? Hadn't Percy won Alexandra through grand gestures?

"I didn't know- I didn't think it would be so bad for you, Evans." He said, his expression showing how genuinely horrified he was of her suffering. "I honestly thought that I would- that you would be impressed by my grand gestures. Frank had won Alice that way. I am really sorry Evans. I honestly did not know."

She stared at him. She knew he was telling the truth, she knew he felt horrible, a part of her wanted to let him stay miserable but she was better than that. "Well you should be." She said finally, he looked at her ready to apologise again. She held her hand up to stop him. "Don't apologise again. If you do, my ego would be as large as yours because finally James Potter apologised to me and did so repeatedly. I like staying grounded. And I believe you. You were misguided. I forgive you; just promise me that you would deflate that ego of yours before coming back next term." She tried to keep her tone light and friendly, but James winced at the sharpness anyway.

"Do you really forgive me?"

"Yes. Surprisingly, I do forgive you."

"Thanks."

"It's okay. Now we should be going back." She said as she stood up. He stood up with her.

"Err.. Evans. Umm… I have an invisibility cloak.. Ugh.. Do you- do you want to share it to get back to the tower? I.. ugh.. I.. ugh… Don't want you to get caught, is all."

"Yeah okay." She said with a shrug. He sighed in relief as he threw the cloak on her shoulders. They began walking when she suddenly pulled him to stop.

"Wait, you dropped something." She said bending to pick it up. James panicked, this was Prongs' reply to Lily, he watched as she picked the rolled parchment up and turned to him, she did not read it, not even opened and returned it to him. He gave a sigh of relief, nodding his thanks before putting up the cloak on her shoulders again and walking away with her.

"Hey Evans."

"Hmm?"

"Does this mean that we are kind of-sort of friends?"

"Deflate your head first and then we will think about being kind of-sort of friends."

"What if I do deflate my head?"

"I will be your best friend."

"Sorry, I have Remus, Peter and Sirius. But what if I really do deflate my head?"

"I will readily be your friend. But where are you going with this Potter?"

"Well, if I deflate my head, there wouldn't be anything to dislike- OW! Merlin woman, I was just joking!"

"Yeah well! Deflate your head and then we will joke about everything else."

"You can't really blame a bloke for trying."

"OW! Bloody Hell Evans, stop stomping on my feet!"

"Then shut the hell up." She said with a laugh as they exited the Tower.

Severus Snape stepped out of the shadows; he had come up here to look at Lily. This was the closest he could get to her. He could tell that she was miserable. He wanted to go talk to her but he still didn't know what he would say to her. Maybe he would be able to think of something, once they were away from school. He had watched Lily intently; he had watched her with satisfaction as she told Potter off. But then, just like that she forgave Potter and walked away with him wrapped under his fancy, expensive invisibility cloak. Jealousy and anger gripped Severus' heart. She couldn't forgive him, her friend of 8 years for a mere slip of tongue, no, she broke all contact with him but she was ready to forgive Potter. She readily forgave Potter, the person who had tortured her for the past 5 years. She readily forgave Black, but she wouldn't forgive him, Severus, her best friend, the one person she claimed she couldn't do without. Now it dawned on Severus, even his Lily had flaws, even she had cracks. He felt betrayed, she had betrayed him and his love and trust in her by readily forgiving Potter but unlike her he would be the better man, he would forgive her, he would take her back and never think the worse of her because for him Lily was perfect.

AN: Really long chapter. I almost reached 3000 words, that's like 2 chapters for me. :P

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. Please do read and review. It is always good to hear from you. Also, share the story :P

Anyway, Happy reading.

Much love

The fishes

P.S.- You can always PM me if you have something to say but you would rather not put it in as a comment. I generally reply within 72 hours. Just saying. Okay, bye. Happy Reading once again.