She felt light. Weightless, carefree, like floating around. It didn't last long.
As soon as she opened her eyes, she found herself in an unknown aseptic environment. There was a lot of white, and metal, and light green. She wore a light green robe. A hospital robe.
A hospital. Why was she at the hospital? In a hospital bed? In a hospital robe?
What the hell?
Her body was covered in bandages, her arms wrapped in several different places, and tubes connected her arms to machines beeping or bags half-full of a transparent liquid.
"Oh, you're awake." Came a soft voice from her right.
She turned her face toward the voice, but the light coming from the windows was too bright on her unused eyes.
Also, note to self, don't move so fast. Everything hurt. She felt like someone had ran her over with a trailer.
What the hell had happened to her?
Squinting against the light, now partly blocked by the figure standing beside her bed, she recognized Dawn, looking at her with glistening eyes. Was she about to cry? Why?
"How are you feeling?" Her baby sister asked, carefully taking the hand nearest to her.
"Did someone use me as a boxing bag?" She wondered, part joking, part serious.
"Don't you remember?" The teen whispered, kneeling beside the bed so that her face was level with Ally's.
"Remember what? The last thing I know is… Oh, god…" Her eyes widened and Dawn inched a bit closer, curious about Ally's mysterious whereabouts. "I didn't really bang RJ, did I? I… I remember going out to find him… Then… nothing…"
"No, love, you didn't." Came her vampire's voice from farther away in the room, making her move her face his way, this time more carefully. He was observing her from the other side, near the door, sitting in a black and grey chair.
"Oh, right, the blinds." Dawn murmured before standing up and moving toward the windows to close the blinds so the vampire could walk across the room and approach the bed.
As soon as the sunlight was blocked, Spike flew to the junior Slayer's side, taking one of her hands in his. He examined her appearance, checking that her wounds, now stitched, didn't turn black again before focusing on her eyes. Grey, that was good. She was fine. She was herself.
She found herself staring right back at him, speechless. Her skin hummed where it came in contact with his, and his eyes drew her like a moth to the light. So blue, so beautiful… All hers.
"Spike…" She breathed, lost in a trance, completely forgetting the world around her.
"Scared the life out of us, love. Remember anything after looking for the boy?"
"No… Why… why am I at the hospital?"
"We told the doctors that you were hit by a car that then took off, leaving you behind, on top of broken glass, but… You just turned up like this, bruised, cut… We have no idea how any of that happened." Dawn explained, returning to her side, opposite Spike.
"'cept the hit to the head. I did that." He corrected, frowning lightly as his free hand hovered over her temple.
"You hit me?" She arched an eyebrow, sincerely believing he was kidding.
"With a cement block." He nodded, serious.
He wasn't joking. Still, she wasn't angry, not a spark of rage in her for being hit with a cement block by her boyfriend. "Why?"
"Cause you were scaring the crap outta me. Barely even recognized me at first, pet. Had to knock you down so I could carry you here."
"Wh-what? What do you mean I didn't recognize you?" She tilted her head, thoroughly confused. How would she not recognize him?
"Exactly that. Didn't even see me. Had to push you against a wall to stop you." He informed, brushing a single strand of hair away from her forehead, also stitched and bandaged from the light tensing she felt anytime she frowned or moved her eyebrows.
"Stop me from what?"
"Is she awake? We heard voices. Well, I didn't, but some heard voices." Interrupted Xander's voice from the door. "She's awake!" He announced, looking back into the hospital corridor. Probably to the rest of the Scooby Gang.
Or not.
Xander came in first, only to soon be pushed aside by Riley and Graham, rushing toward the bed, followed by a much more collected Sam. After her came in Angel, Wesley and Willow, and she lost count of any others as her super soldiers occupied her field of vision.
"Are you alright, baby girl?" Riley questioned, taking Spike's place on her side, making the vampire walk away to his previous seat. Too many people to be comfortable. And too many of them had tried to kill him a time or two, or more.
"I'm twenty, Finn." She smirked, taking in his pale and exhausted face. He'd been worried, probably for a while already.
"Still my baby girl."
She rolled her eyes, but grinned. "Yeah, I hurt all around, but… I'll get better soon. Slayer healing." She nodded, trying to push herself upright.
Graham understood what she was trying to do and helped her sit up, arranging the pillows on her back so she would be comfortable. "You sure, doll? Do you need anything?" His eyes moved all over her, trying to find anything he could help with, frantic.
"An explanation, maybe? How come you're all here?" She frowned, recognizing Angel's spikey hair over Graham's shoulder.
"We took days off as soon as Willow told us you were in intensive care. We got here yesterday." Her back-up husband replied for the soldiers.
"Whoa, whoa. Yesterday? How long have I been out?"
"Four days." Sam answered for them, giving her a soft smile from beside her husband. "The boys were going crazy on the way here. It was already the third day, and that's not good, but we couldn't get here sooner."
"Say what?"
"You better start explaining, young lady. You had us all worried sick." Finn frowned, fixing her with an authoritative glare, like when she was fourteen and she'd 'borrowed' his knife so she could practice while he had lunch with his team mates.
"Hell if I know what went on to end up like this."
"Language." Graham chastised, causing her to poke her tongue out to him. He smiled, shaking his head at her childish behaviour.
"No idea? No clues?" Wesley spoke from somewhere behind the crowd.
"Nope. Wes! Looking good! My god, it's been years. What's with the makeover?" She smiled widely, even if that also hurt, at seeing the former Watcher. He'd been amazingly helpful during her time in LA. He was the one who found out she was a Potential, and had taught her a ton about demons and old, almost inexistent languages that were only used in rituals.
"This clothes are more practical than a woollen sweater for slaying. And easier to clean up." He smiled warmly at Ally, getting a bit closer and taking Sam's place so he could take her hand. "We've missed you in LA, dear."
"Yeah, sorry about not calling." She smiled sheepishly and squeezed his hand. "It's good to see you. All of you." Her eyes slid toward Angel, who looked truly about to shake the hell out of her for something like 'being a fool', 'out all alone at night', most probably adding something along the lines of 'how could a genius mind think something like that was anything but stupid?'. Of course, he still thought of her as a little, barely eighteen-year-old Potential with a penchant for danger. Instead, he settled for a nod to let her know he'd heard her, his arms crossed over his chest.
"So you know nothing about why you attacked Buffy?" Xander added to the interrogation, making her world come to a halt.
She found him standing to her right, his head only slightly poking from behind Miller. Her wide eyes were enough answer for him, but not for Ally herself.
She'd attacked Buffy?
Her eyes searched the crowd in the small hospital room, looking for her sister, only to finally find her standing beside Willow and Anya, the farthest from the bed, her arms hugging her stomach and ugly looking bruises covering her face.
And then, right when she saw her eldest sister's face, she remembered.
Everything.
Riley and Graham felt it first. The tremble, the shaking of her hands, which soon extended to her arms and chest, as sobs escaped her throat, and made her gasp in pain.
Everyone came closer at once. Everyone but Buffy. The soldiers kneeled beside the bed so her baby sister and the Scoobies could approach her, even Spike stood from his seat and took his place at the end of her bed, his hand finding her leg, touching her through the bedsheet. Angel and Wes stood near Riley, the former Watcher bent so he could come in contact with her leg, similarly to Spike, while Angel reached over and rested his hand on her head softly.
Memories flashed before her eyes. Jon. The robed figures. The flasks, and knives, and needles. At the story. She remembered every single detail, every reason as to why her life was the way it was.
Buffy stood away from the group, her eyes tearing up when her own sister broke into sobs at the mere sight of her. Her arms tightened around her stomach, not caring about the bruises that still hadn't completely faded. Bruises inflicted by the same girl that at that moment sat on the hospital bed.
"Do you remember, love?" Spike asked quietly, trying to get her to stop looking at Buffy. Only bad things happened the last time she did that.
"Alls?" Angel insisted, treading his fingers through her hair.
"Oh, no… no… No, no!" She sobbed, her hands leaving her friends' and covering her mouth, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably.
"What do you remember, Ally?" Riley questioned again, his face torn with worry.
"It was Jon…" She whispered, not loud enough for the soldier to understand.
"Jon?" Angel repeated, confused, thanks to vampiric hearing.
Riley's head whipped toward the dark haired vampire in a split second before turning back toward the injured girl, mouth open. "It can't be, baby girl. You know that. Jon's gone."
"It was him. He… he… told me… He told me everything… Oh, god, Riley… it was her fault all along… It wasn't me…" She raised her gaze, finding her vampire's baby blues. "It wasn't me… There was nothing wrong with me… It was al-always her doing…" She cried even harder, tears running down her cheeks like rivers.
"Her? I'm guessing we're not talking about this Jon anymore? By the way, does anyone have any idea who this Jon is?" Xander inquired, completely lost.
"He was her friend." Riley answered for her, patting her thigh in an attempt at comfort. "He died last year. When I called her to take her back home." The soldier rested his other arm over the bed too, leaving his hand on top of her knee. "Who is her, Alls?"
"Mom…" She sobbed, the broken word falling from her lips. "She did this… She sold me to that… thing…" The brunette confessed, only then the idea sinking. It was her mom who brought all that suffering to her. Hell, the kidnapping, the torture, the… thing they put inside her, the thing that made her almost kill her sister…
"What are you talking about, doll?" Graham interjected, bewildered. He'd met her mother once, right before both her husband and she had died. She'd seemed like a good woman, a good mother.
"She sold me! She was going to kill me and give me over to that thing!" Ally exploded, her hands falling to her sides and fisting the material of the bedsheets. "She knew I was going to be a Slayer and she was going to give me to that thing she followed! SHE WAS GOING TO SEND ME TO HELL!"
The hospital room fell silent. Only the breathing of the occupants could be heard. Ally bit her lip, newly healed, until it bled again, and clawed at the bedsheets until she felt the material tear underneath her hands. Still, her sobs relented, her breathing still hard and fast, and her body still trembling. But it wasn't sadness anymore, it was rage. Pure, unadulterated rage.
"It was never my fault." She whispered once more, her eyes set on the space between her calves.
"Baby girl…" Riley started, not sure of what to say anymore.
"Love?" Spike straightened, noticing the change in her before anyone else. "Ally Cat? Look at me." He ordered, bending over the bed to move closer, his arms on either side of her legs, not caring about whose face his elbow was in.
And she did. Those close to her unconsciously moved back, if only an inch, when they spotted the black swirls moving in her irises. But just as her eyes found Spike's, they turned to their natural colour, and her hands loosened their grip on the sheets.
"It was never me. I didn't deserve it…" She repeated weakly, gazing at her boyfriend's eyes. He knew how insecure she'd felt after being sent to Hell. He was the only one who did.
"Told you it wasn't your fault, didn't I?" The bleach blond assured, smiling lightly, if only to cheer her up a bit.
She nodded, her breathing calming to almost normal, still staring at him. She felt much calmer when she could look at him, and have him look back at her. She felt safe. Whole.
"What is this?" A nurse called from the door, which had opened without anyone noticing. She fixed every person hovering over the patient with a disapproving glare, waving her hand to shoo them away. "Step back! Let her breath, for goodness' sake! No more than five people in the room, if they're not relatives!" She ordered as she moved toward the girl, pushing away everyone standing between her and the machines she needed to check. As the group moved back, the middle aged nurse smiled at the patient, finally awake.
"They're my family. All of them." Ally defended, finally looking away from her boyfriend.
"Are they, now?"
The brunette nodded, making the nurse glance at the group watching her carefully. They recognized this was her territory, even if most of them were almost one or two heads taller than her. Heck of a family the kid had.
"The best there is." She finished, finally smiling at the group, her eyes watery once more.
The nurse quickly checked the bags and the beeping machine, before walking out of the room, letting the emotional girl spend some more time with her 'family' before visit hours were over and only two or three could stay.
"Buffy?" Ally called once the nurse was gone, watching the group part to let her see her blonde sister, still standing in the same position. "Are you okay?" Buffy nodded, her eyes glistening too. "I'm sorry."
The blonde shook her head, letting her arms fall to her sides before stepping closer to the bed. "Don't be. It wasn't you." She sniffed and carefully wrapped her arms around the brunette, kissing the one patch of her forehead that wasn't covered with a bandage. "I'm happy you're back."
"I'm happy you're alive."
"I takes more than a demonic thing to defeat a Slayer. A Summers Slayer." She smiled gently at her younger sister, thinking the worst was over. "Anyways, it's done. We won't let whatever it is take you again, okay?"
"But… it's inside me, Buff." Ally confessed, moving her hands over the bandages in her arms. "They put it inside me…"
"What?" Buffy's smile fell, following the junior Slayer's gaze to the bandages.
"There was… something, inside the bottles… and the needles… they put it in me. That's what the cuts were for… It… it's… in my veins… I felt the burn… It…" Her voice trembled once more, the crowd approaching again to support her. "I feel it inside."
"What did they do to you?" Angel growled, standing on her side like an angry beast, ready to pounce on whatever hurt the girl.
"I was… it was some sort of cave. There was a lot of… people. I can't remember if they were human… I'm not sure… I remember Jon. He was there. He was talking to me. He told me about what my mom did, about what happened to me in Hell…" She breathed deeply, feeling her hands start to tremble again, only for a pale one to take them, still them. Her vampire. "It was supposed to break me… It was supposed to… It cracked my soul…" She looked up and found Spike's baby blues. "They used that thing in the bottles to 'fill the cracks'. That's what he said. It's in my soul. I can feel the darkness…"
"We have to look into this." Angel voiced, taking the lead, as he looked at the rest of the group.
"I think I can check some… sources, find if they know anything that fits the procedure. But they're back in LA." Wesley immediately jumped in, nodding toward Angel.
"I'll get everyone on it." Angel agreed, already pulling his phone out.
"We can contact some shamans we've worked with in the past. If it's dark magic, they might know something about it." Riley decided, getting approving nods from both his partners.
"I'll try to contact Giles. He might know something…" Buffy added, moving away from Ally to most probably assign a task to every Scooby.
"No." Ally cut them all firmly, stopping the chatter that was starting to extend throughout the room. "Angel, Wes, you two go back to LA, back to whatever you were doing before. Rye, Graham, Sam, get back to work. I'll be alright. We'll take care of this like we always do. We hit the books. Everything goes back to normal. Understood?"
It took all of three seconds for the complaints to start. She huffed, squeezing Spike's hand a bit more tightly. He was quiet. Probably preferring to scold her when they were alone. Oh, joy.
"Shut up!" She shouted when the noise got too overwhelming, bringing the silence back. "Very well. Now, you all look like you need some sleep and a good meal. I'll be fine. Go. I appreciate you coming to see me, really. I love having you all here, but you have lives of your own." Her gaze jumped from one face to the other, all resistant to following her orders. "If anything comes up, I'll call you. Promise."
"What if you try to kill Buffy again?" Wesley wondered, glancing at said girl.
"Spike has permission to knock me down with a cement block again."
"You did what?!" Angel, Riley and Graham screamed at once.
"Out!"
Spike and Buffy stayed the night with her at the hospital. Willow and Xander took Dawn home, as it was Sunday and she had school the following morning, but not before the teen brought Spike a new bag of pig's blood.
Dawn was always nicer to him. She and Willow were the ones that didn't attack him every step he took, and then there was Anya, who wasn't exactly always nice, but Ally had the idea that she might be a little attracted to her vampire. Then again, she was surprised no one else seemed to be. She really meant it when she said he was eye candy.
Once it was only the three of them, with Buffy sitting on the chair Spike had previously occupied, reading a magazine, and the vampire sitting beside Ally, the brunette gathered the courage to tackle the matter of whatever was inside her again.
"What are we going to do, Buff?"
"Exactly what you said. We'll hit the books. It's worked so far. We'll get through this, trust me." She assured, confident, at least on the outside. She couldn't let her sister see the fear that had taken nest inside. She had to be strong. She had to take care of Ally.
"I trust you." Ally nodded, moving further down the bed so she could rest her head on Spike's shoulder. "Both of you. By the way, I'm hungry."
"You just had dinner." Buffy frowned.
"I mostly moved the food around. Hospital food is disgusting, I only took a couple bites from the boiled carrot and peas. Can you get me Oreos?" The brunette begged Spike, using her doe eyes.
"Sure, love. Be right back." He kissed her forehead carefully before striding out of the room.
The junior Slayer waited until he was out of site, feeling the electric current that had existed between them both break with the distance, before fixing her gaze on Buffy.
"Buff, I need you to promise something." She didn't have time to beat around the bush, Spike would be back soon.
"What is it, Alls?" The blonde left the magazine on the side before approaching the bed.
Ally made sure to look Buffy in the eye before she started speaking. "If… if that thing takes control of me again, and you can't stop me… if you can't reach me… Buffy you have to promise you will do whatever it takes to stop me."
"If it takes over again, we'll restrain you or something until it's over." Her sister said instead, still keeping up the confident façade.
"And what if you can't restrain me? Buffy, you have to promise…"
"Promise what?" She snapped, losing her previous composure.
Ally gulped, averting her eyes for a second before pronouncing the dreaded words. "That you'll kill me if it comes to it."
Buffy stepped back, horrified of her sister's request. "I won't do that! How could you ask me that?"
The junior Slayer's lips trembled, her eyes welling up again. "I can't ask Spike. He wouldn't be able to do it. And the others are not strong enough or will not be close enough. Buffy, you have to…"
"No! You can't ask me that!" She burst, throwing her arms out.
"What if I hurt someone? What if I hurt Dawn?! What if I kill her?!" Ally screamed in return, her heart monitor marking her accelerating heart rate.
"You won't!"
"I didn't even recognize you, Buffy! I didn't even recognize Spike at first! If he hadn't been there, you'd be dead! I would have killed you!" She cried, her hands fisting her already shredded bedsheets.
"We'll find some other way." The eldest shook her head, pacing away from the bed.
"There might not be any other way!"
"I won't kill my own sister!" She turned back at once, her own cheeks wet with fresh tears.
"Buffy, I couldn't live with myself if I hurt Dawn. I can barely live right now, after what I did to you. I don't want to hurt you."
The blonde carefully sat beside her sister, placing her hand over Ally's fisted one. That was them. Together. Destined to be together. They fought together. They'd died together. They'd been buried together. And they'd get through this together.
"I'm alright. And it wasn't your fault." Buffy spoke softly, lightly squeezing the younger Slayer's hand. "You are stronger than this. It won't get to that. And if, in a very unlikely way, it does, we'll find another way. We'll get through this." She wrapped her arms around her sister's unusually weak form, and kissed her temple gently as she rubbed the brunette's back.
Ally left some very confused doctors behind when she signed her voluntary early discharge in the morning, before sunrise, feeling much better despite the need to hold on to Spike to walk. Her wounds were mostly healed, although she kept the bandages on just in case, and she was lucky Buffy had brought a loose dress for her to wear, instead of having to shrug into her jeans while her legs were still sore.
"You look lovely in that, Ally Cat." The vampire whispered to her when he noticed her looking down toward her arms and legs while they walked out of the building.
"I look like a mummy, Spike."
"A sexy mummy." He corrected, holding her a bit tighter as they walked down the couple of stairs at the entrance.
"Flatterer."
"I only speak the truth."
"Yeah, sure."
"Could you two lovebirds wait until you're back in the basement, please? I'm gonna be sick." Buffy called out from in front of them, rolling her eyes as she looked at them over her shoulder.
"We seriously need to get you a boyfriend, sis."
"Yeah, like I have time for that now."
"There's always time for smoochies." Ally stated, pressing herself against Spike's side a bit more.
"No, there isn't. And don't you two dare start with the smoochies in the car!"
That really had to be the weirdest mix Ally had ever witnessed in the living room of the Summers residence. Two vampires, three army demon-hunters, two Slayers, a former Watcher, a witch, a former Key, a former vengeance demon, and a carpenter. And most of the people in the room didn't like each other. But that was her family.
The atmosphere was a bit tense in the room, Riley and Graham eyeing the mugs of blood the vampires were drinking with disgust, while said vampires ignored the pair, trying to make small talk with whoever they could. That meant Spike picking on Angel, or viceversa.
She really had no idea how the conversation had started, but, at that moment, they were discussing something like 'You never did have perspective, Spike! Guess why I was the evil mastermind?' and 'Cause you liked to nail puppies to walls! Where's the fun in that? It's the fight that matters! Not the… drawing people in their sleep to creep them out! That's just a waste of time! You spent hours with that! See? Even Captain Cardboard here agrees'. Then Riley got involved in the argument, which was getting louder by the minute, until a thought struck Ally and she started giggling.
Her crazed giggles stopped the argument, making everyone look at her with quizzical expressions, wondering what she found so funny. It only added to her amusement, sending her into a laughing fit against the bleach blond vampire's side, trying to stifle her laughs with his shoulder.
"What's so funny, pet?"
"It's just…" Another loud string of laughter interrupted her, but she managed to control it enough to continue, even as her body trembled with her contained chuckles. "Captain Cardboard…" All of their eyebrows shot up, not finding the hilarious part of the nickname, at least until she continued. "Captain Forehead, and Captain Peroxide." This last semi-sentence had her roaring in a second, the only sound to be heard in the living room.
At least, until another voice joined her, sniggering, followed by every occupant of the room, one by one.
And the tension was gone.
Soon Angel and Wesley left for LA, and the super soldiers did the same, except they headed toward some unknown super-secret location, all of them making her promise to call if she needed them.
She was in a strangely good mood when the day came to an end, giggling again when Spike took her downstairs bridal style, joining her laughs good humouredly. It felt good to laugh. It was just strange that she would laugh in that moment, given the situation.
"Spike?" She called drowsily when he laid her down on the mattress.
"Yes, pet?"
"I love you."
There was a pause, with Spike standing over her with a light tilt to his head, a smile tugging at his lips. "Love you too, Ally Cat."
She held his hands in hers, bringing them close to her chest. "I love you so much. And I promise it has nothing to do with Hell. I don't care what he said. I love you, more than anything." Her eyes closed, about to give up to sleep.
Yet the bleach blond was assaulted with questions, her words more than confusing. "Wait, what? What he said? Who said what?"
She focused her grey orbs on him again, "Jon."
"Your dead friend. The bloke who kidnapped you?" She nodded, tugging at his hands so he laid down beside her. Once he was settled, lying on his side so he could look at her, he cut her before she continued. "Exact words, Ally Cat. I know you remember them."
"'Your soul was cracked. Why do you think you yearned so much for the vampire? The demon inside, the darkness, is not so different from what you'll soon have.'" She whispered, feeling him tense up right next to her. "But it's not the demon I'm in love with. It's you. All of you. The demon might be able to stop the evil me, it's what I saw on the alley, it's what Darth Ally recognized, but it's you that keeps me sane. I loved you before Hell. It wasn't the demon I trusted with my sister's life. It was you."
"And after you came back?" He had relaxed a bit, although he was still unsure of her feelings. What if she really didn't love him? What if she was only attracted to the demon?
"I just depended more on you. There was more of a pull, but it didn't make me love you. You know when I think I fell in love with you?"
He shook his head before resting it on his arm, level with her own face.
"When we were in the camping trailer, on the run from Glory, and brain-sucked Tara opened the blinds and burnt your hand, and you just played it down. You were in pain but so sweet to her. You still claimed to be all Bad and Evil at the time, but you were the best thing to ever happen to me. And there were no cracks back then, nothing I needed the demon for. It was just you, being you. And I loved you." She smiled lightly and brushed her fingers against his cheek, feeling the electric buzz between them. "And then you stopped one of those RPG knights from burying a sword in my skull, and I think I swooned."
"Concealed the swooning pretty well, love." He teased, bringing his arm around her waist carefully, not wanting to hurt her, as she still had stitches in her stomach.
"It was not the right time to jump your bones."
"Any time is good for that." He deadpanned.
She giggled again, punching his shoulder weakly before moving a bit closer. "Idiot." She muttered before finally going to sleep.
