Ch 7
Rey
I walked after Padme, she moved quickly for being a ghost. She walked with purpose.
We ended up outside, the suns of Tatooine were ready to set on the horizon; you could feel the afternoon breeze cool the earth and sand beneath us.
Some things like that, when felt through the Force, were sometimes overwhelming. Other times, the feeling and balance of nature brought me bliss and peace all at once.
"I remember the first time I came here, the first time I met Ani. He was a slave boy working for a toydarian. I was serving my first term as Queen of Naboo at 14. We were stuck here for a while, there was a price on my head from the trade federation, they were very difficult times."
I looked at her eyes, there was so much hidden behind them. It was like one could almost picture her memories and all the things she'd been a witness through.
"But I'm not here to talk about me Rey, I'm here to talk about you and your purpose." She said with a sly smile "Tell me, what drove you to believe in Ben? What helped you see he could turn?"
My mind went blank for a moment. No one had asked me that. It was simply a feeling I had since I met him in that forest on Takodana.
"I... I don't know... I guess a part of me always sensed that he was conflicted." I grew silent for a second and thought on how to answer he question as fully as I could. "I met him and at first I was terrified but I felt a strange pull towards him. Once I was in the interrogation room and he took the mask off I was entranced. He looked at me like… I don't know but it wasn't hatred or murder. The more my abilities in the Force grew, so did that feeling. There was good in him, I knew it" I said as I looked at her.
She gave me another half smile.
"Do you remember what Maz Kanata told Finn when she first met him?"
I did, the memory was like yesterday, that was the day I met Ben, when he was still Kylo Ren, not something I thought I could easily or ever forget.
"She said that 'when you live long enough, you see the same eyes on different people'" I could never understand what exactly she meant by that, I merely assumed she meant people were easy to read.
"It's the truth, here I'll show you something." She said as she extended her hand to me once more. As soon as I touched it, a memory came into my head, not my own, but hers.
"Obi Wan... there's still good in him..." she said. Her eyes were tired in the vision; I could see she was losing the fight between life and death. But there was a fierce determination in them and in her words, a drive I had never seen before.
"You used the exact words I once did... and you've done many similar things like I once did to help my Anakin. You're on the right path, but how much have you actually forgiven him?"
Her question took me by surprise. I thought had forgiven him, I thought knew it, and yet every time I felt him... even if I thought back to our kiss, I could always feel myself become angry, sad, upset, volatile…
Deep down inside a part of me still hated him.
"So I assume I was right. Rey, forgiveness takes time. Trust me, even in death it took a long time for me to forgive Anakin. But I always knew there was good in him. I knew it because the love we had, the bond we had formed was stronger than anything else. And our children were proof of that love. I admit we could have avoided all the pain but he never would have learned his lesson nor I mine. In the end I forgave him. And I love him more than myself. Tell me, what would you be willing to do for Ben if he were here?"
I was shocked by that question, she had given me so many things to ponder and think about. I was overwhelmed.
"I... I'm not sure... I... I need time to think..." she nodded in understanding and began to walk towards me.
"You don't have much time sweetheart, meditate, soon all this will make sense." She put her hand on my cheek and kissed my forehead before walking away and disappearing with every step, leaving me more confused than when our meeting began.
