Ch 13

Rey

I had managed to get some of the vaporators in the farm ready to work in the morning. I knew very little of moisture farming, BB8 had shown me all he knew from his small archives. It wasn't much, the little droid hadn't been around for too long.

He did help me fix the vaporators and do more research from what was in the small study of the house. It seemed moisture farming was better done in the early morning hours. An early start was something I was already used to, but with the recent events, my sleep had been... somewhat altered. I tossed and turned many nights, nightmares plagued me some nights. Others were memories from Jakku. The worst was always that last memory of being in his arms and kissing him.

Last night, the dream was different. It was another memory, one I had stored away because it was the first time I met Ben Solo. Yes, him and Kylo were one and the same, but this was the first time I saw the light, the conflict.

I had just come back from visiting that dark place on Ach To. I had been left lost, trying to find the answers about myself, about the past, about Ben. I found nothing.

I was still dazed from the meeting Kylo and I had just had, I saw him without a shirt on and I was taken aback. He was very well built, tall, his muscles showed clearly. I was uncomfortable, not because he was semi-nude but because I couldn't let myself admit that I found him attractive.

That same night the connection opened again and I told him my thoughts and how alone I felt.

He sat across from me, he seemed to be floating. We still couldn't see each other's surroundings.

"You are not alone" he said in a calm tone. It was strange seeing him this way.

"Neither are you" I responded "It isn't too late"

My words seemed to shake him, he was so close... so close to coming back. Why couldn't he see it? He wanted, but he couldn't forgive himself for what he'd already done.

I reached my hand out to him and he looked at it. I sensed his emotions. He was afraid, shocked, confused, hesitant.

But he wanted to take my hand. He removed his glove and slowly reached out to me. I felt butterflies in my stomach, knowing well aware this could be dangerous, but something told me to trust it.

It seemed like forever and a day passed between the time I held out my hand then moment out fingers made contact. The electric energy that passed between them was like a river of fire. I felt everything he felt, saw everything he'd ever seen, every thought he had was mine. And mine were his. And his future was bright, he was the answer to everything, to the Jedi surviving, to the end of the First Order... my purpose was clear then. I needed to help him. I knew the moment where Luke walked in would arrive soon.

It never did. Instead the memory froze on the image of us touching hands.

My mind began to focus, I knew I was dreaming, but what was happening?

I reached out with my mind and I felt it.

I felt him.

It was the connection, it was still alive and open.

I could feel him around me, his light surrounded me like the twin suns at noon.

Ben... I called out with my mind.

Rey...I heard him say.

I smiled, a tear escaping the corner of my eye.

I kept searching but I couldn't find him anywhere.

Where are you? Please don't leave...

Rey... I love y-

And that's when I woke up.

I sat up in my bed gasping for air. After a while I was able to calm down enough lay back down. I couldn't go back to sleep after that.

I tried for hours to meditate and find the connection again. Eventually I saw the sun rise through the windows, but I found nothing.

It had been so clear, like he was in the same room with me. I knew I hadn't imagined the connection, where in the galaxy could he be?

And then there were the words he had said to me...

He was cut off but they had been clear...

Rey... I love you

Those words rang in my ears and made my heart flutter. They weren't words I thought I would ever be accustomed to hearing.

Yet when they came from him they made me feel warm and the promised safety. I knew they were true even before he ever said them. I knew he loved me just as much as I loved him, and I needed him to come back...