Ch 15

Rey

It had been almost a month since the connection had opened up. At this point I thought I imagined it or perhaps it was something my subconscious made up in my dream.

But the way it felt when we were connected, it was real. Even in past dreams I'd had of Ben, it was nothing compared to how I felt when I was close to him, even physically.

The few times I'd been near him the energy in the room was intangible. It was overwhelming the first time I'd met him, and even every time after that.

You know that feeling you get when you first walk outside from a cold room, or when your feet touch the cold ocean for the first time? That's the closest I could ever come to describing it.

I had gotten the moisture farm working properly by now. I had even managed to make some small profit of it.

I had even made a new friend.

It was the woman I'd met upon my arrival, her name was Nat-Taikuni, but I just called her Nat.

She was a former slave and she would wander around Mos Eisley and Anchorhead in hopes of finding some scraps to eat.

I'd become quite fond of her, sure I had BB8 with me, but having living company was always welcomed to keep the crazy away.

"My sweet girl, how are you this morning?" She asked me as I got up from meditation.

"Good morning Nat, I'm doing alright. I had a rough night, but I'm managing. Ready for breakfast?" I asked with a hand out for her to hold.

She was definitely older, maybe late 60s, but she had a kindred spirit and she made me laugh. I had offered for her to stay here with me and she always refused saying she hated to feel bound to any one place now that she was free.

"Ah... troubled by that boy again? Tell me, have any new revelations come to you?"

We had made our way inside while the vaporators did their work. I served her the usual cup of caff and gave her a slice of bread I'd managed to bake a few days prior, thanks to an old recipe book I'd found.

I grabbed my own cup and sat across from her, my eyes falling on the table.

"Not exactly. The Force is definitely mysterious, something I'm still trying to figure out myself at times. I know I eventually have to go to Naboo, but I haven't gained enough profit to purchase enough fuel or supplies for when I leave. I thought coming here would bring some answers, instead I'm left with more questions"

She remained silent as she usually did, only nodding occasionally.

"Well for starters, Naboo is about less than a parsec away from here. Secondly, what answers were you looking for? Sometimes we start a journey not knowing where we are going, but we know our destination once we arrive."

Well at least now I knew I wouldn't need so much to get off this planet…but I was always surprised by her, her words always held wisdom, but I was always left confused when I first heard her.

"I'm not sure, I wanted to find something about the Skywalker's, some family history, I want to honor their legacy, I wanted to know where my adoptive family came from. It seems though that destiny has a different idea"

"Darling, we make our own destiny, yes yours is tied to the Force, but we always have a choice. What do you want, Rey Skywalker?"

I sat there for a minute contemplating her words. I thought I knew what I wanted, but everything had completely shifted since I arrived on Tatooine.

"I want... I want to go to Naboo. I want to find whatever's left of Ben... I want to be happy and to be able to live for myself for a moment." Some tears had slipped at the last sentence. It was true, I wanted to make my choices for myself. Not have to live for the Jedi or the Sith or the Resistance or anyone else. Just me.

"You know" I continued "I had that choice once and I didn't take it. It remember it as clear as if it had happened yesterday..."

I went on to tell her about the battle against Snoke. My mission had originally been to go and save Ben, it hadn't gone to plan.

I almost died that day, but he saved me, I never found out why, but the light shone through him in that moment.

"Once we were finished with the guards I saw his resolve, it wasn't towards the light, I realize now he wanted something new. He wanted me to join him, to forget everything light, dark, Jedi, Sith... and to start a new order. He had held his hand out to me and said please... I thought he had wanted us to rule the galaxy together, but he hadn't. I don't know how my judgement had become so clouded... I should have taken his hand" I said and my voice broke, sobs ripped through my body and I couldn't stop shaking. I felt a hand around me and realized Nat was trying to comfort me.

BB8 beeped sadly and rolled over to my side.

"Breathe child... just breathe... it's not your fault. You made a choice you believed was right at the time. Perhaps it was not the time for you and him to be together yet... he made his choice and you made yours"

I kept sobbing and she simply rubbed her hand up and down my arm.

That's when I felt it. The air around me was different.

And a small breeze whispered to me

There's nothing to forgive...