Ch 34

Ben

I sat her on the couch by the fireplace and went to the back to grab a blanket. It was cold and the event that just transpired had left us both a little shaken.

I sat by her side and she scooted closer to me and rested her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her, turned my head and kissed the top of hers. Her hair was a little messy and she shivered at my touch.

"Are you okay?" I asked her. I felt her body shift and she was looking up at me now. I looked into her eyes, even in the darkness they were shining like the moons of Endor in the night sky.

"I am… terrified… she answered. Some tears ran down her cheeks and I instantly wiped them away, it was like an instinct. "What did that dream mean? Ben I'd never walked in my sleep before I… if our connection is that powerful… how do we control it? How do we find the balance?" she asked. I could see a form of determination and purpose in her words, but there was still fear underneath it all.

"We could… go find answers. Do you remember what Palpatine said? He said ours was a connection not seen in generations… what if we find this other connection? Maybe there are answers there." I suggested.

"Where would we start?" she asked

That was a very good question. For one, I had killed all Jedi and destroyed everything on them I could find. That didn't mean we couldn't find other answers though.

"Well… I'm not sure about that yet… perhaps we could start at the destroyed Jedi Temple on Coruscant. A lot of the archives were taken by the Empire, but you never know what we could find."

She nodded and moved to lean her head on my shoulder once more. I could sense how tired she was, but she was still anxious over the dream she'd had.

"We can leave in two days if you want. We need to rest and gather some supplies. What do you think?"

She nodded against my shoulder.

"Yes, I think that's fine."

"Hey… come here." I said as I motioned for her to sit on my lap. It felt strange sometimes not being physically close to her. I never wanted to be away from her again.

Once she was comfortable I put the blanket over her. "Tell me what's reallywrong?"

She sighed and began to talk "I am afraid… of losing you. I'm afraid of failing as a Jedi… I'm afraid of being alone again" she said with a small sniff.

"Rey you aren't going to fail. Look how far you've come with just your willpower. And you aren't a Jedi. Yes, there is light in you, but you know there is darkness too. You are… grey. We've both become that. We just need more guidance… and I think we'll find that in this journey"

"Yes… I think you're…rig-"she trailed off and I noticed the rhythmic rising of her shoulders. Sleep won her battle this time.

The sun rose in that moment, and with it a new day that would bring us to a journey we never would have imagined.

Rey

When I woke up I felt like I was sweating like I had worked at noon on the hottest day of the year on Jakku. My hair was sticking to my face and I could feel a little bit of drool had dried on the corner of my mouth. I reached up to wipe with the back of my hand and felt my burning cheek. My head was pounding from over sleeping, what time was it anyways?

I sat up on the couch and stretched, a little surprised that my back wasn't sore from having slept on a surface other than a bed. To be fair though, I had spent the majority of my life sleeping on a AT-AT, anything besides the cold, steel ground was always welcomed.

I looked around realizing that Ben was laying down behind me, my movements not even stirring him.

He must have been tired, I could sense he was relaxed and… at peace.

I got up and covered him with the blanket, leaving him to rest.

I saw glanced at the clock on the nightstand, it was almost 3 in the afternoon.

By gods we had slept…

I went to the bathroom to run a bath, while the water warmed up and filled the tub, I went to find something to wear.

I walked into the closet and pulled out a two-piece baby blue ensemble. I took it to the bathroom with me and checked on Ben on my way. He was still asleep.

I smiled down at him and brushed some hair from his face. When he was sleeping like this he looked like a child. So innocent, so… untainted by life and its hardships.

I made my way to the bathroom and turned the water off. I looked in the mirror for a second, so much had happened the night before.

I undressed and got into the tub, hugging my knees once I was well submerged. After the events of last night, I became terrified. I had to admit I was afraid but how was I supposed to handle it? I hadn't experienced so much darkness since the cave on Ach-To, or when I saw… my grandfather.

If I didn't deal with the fear it would lead me further into the dark, to a lack of balance, I didn't want that. People weren't just good or bad, people didn't do right or wrong all the time. Things needed a balance, people were too unpredictable to be one or the other. I needed to deal with this fear, so I decided to meditate in the bath and let my wander to a place of peace.