Ch 40
Ben
I sat in the cockpit and stared out into the flashing stars of lightspeed travel. I had too many thoughts and at the same time my thoughts were blank.
Is this really how marriage was supposed to be? Had we completely used up the honeymoon period when we were at Varykino? Had we made the right choice?
In my heart I knew we had, I loved Rey more than anyone, more than myself.
But our fights were always terrible, we always ended up hurting each other more than we intended. It was pure rage and anger and hurt, that's why things around us seemed to go to chaos.
Why the earth split on star killer base, why that ship had blown up when we tried to pull it, why the light saber had split after killing Snoke.
Our pain was dangerous when directed at each other, and if we didn't fix this we might as well have never gotten married.
I might as well have never come back.
"That's not entirely true darling" said a familiar voice behind me. I turned in my seat and saw my grandparents standing there, enveloped in blue light.
It was my grandmother who had spoken, my grandfather soon followed.
"She's right, you know you're meant to be together. Even if you were t go your separate ways, the Force wouldn't allow it. Deep down you both know that, you have to become one in every way to be truly balanced. In mind, body and soul."
My grandmother stepped forward, everything about her was so regal, so majestic, so beautiful. I wish I could have met her in person.
She was only 27 when she died.
"Your grandfather is right. To be balanced, you must be joined through every part of yourselves. It will take training, we will help you." She said with a smile "Well your grandfather will help, I'll be here for moral support"
"Yes, and right now I think you guys are going to have to talk and apologize. First lesson, neither one is ever right, nor wrong, everyone has a contribution and you have to humbly accept it"
I sighed, they were both right. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples, when I looked back up after a few seconds, they were gone.
Now I was frustrated, I knew we had to talk but what was I supposed to say? Apologizing wasn't usually in my nature.
I got up and walked towards the bedroom, the door was slightly jar but I knocked, I didn't want to barge in in case she was… *gulp* naked.
Mind. Body. Soul.
I had never seen any woman naked, I had never been intimate with one… this scared me more than anything…
I received no answer, so I pushed the door open and she was lying in bed, sound asleep. She had somehow found a change of clothes. I was curious as to where she found them, so I began to look around.
I instantly noticed a door was slightly ajar right by where I was standing. I opened it and was able to find a dark grey shirt, a lot of old Jedi robes, and weirdly, a black leather jacket. I took it out and decided to hang it on the door handle to the small closet.
I took off the wedding ensemble and put on the grey shirt I had grabbed, I instantly felt a lot more comfortable. I turned around and saw Rey had shifted slightly. Her mouth hung open a little, the lose tendrils falling around her face.
She was so angel like, so pure and full of hope. I would do anything to keep her that way. Safe and untainted and happy.
I sighed and suddenly felt exhausted. I knew we had about a day and a half before arriving to Thyferra.
I went back to the cockpit and set the ship for autopilot, it would send an alert once we arrived, but I knew I wouldn't sleep an entire da, maybe just a few hours would be fine.
I was wary of my next move, but I lay in the bed as gently as possible, trying not to disturb her or invade her space.
It didn't go well, as soon as I laid down she, on instinct perhaps, scoot closer to me. The bed was way smaller than the one on Varykino so we were extremely cramped.
Her head now rested against my shoulder and her hand draped itself across my chest.
It wasn't long before I put my free arm over the one she had draped over me. She sighed in her sleep and I was overtaken by how tired I was. I went to sleep with thoughts of how I never wanted to feel distant from her, in any way shape or form.
