Ch 41

Rey

I slept deeply, with dreams of fields and flowers and the sun kissing my bare skin.

"Momma!" I heard a small voice scream behind me.

"Momma look at us!" I turned around to see two equally beautiful dark-haired children. The boy had my eye color, a shade of hazel that shifted in the light. The girl had blue eyes like her grandfather, and both had their fathers skin color.

"They're beautiful…" I heard Ben say as he grabbed my hand. I looked up and smiled at him as we made our way to the twins.

We sat on the grass with them, I had never seen Ben be so gentle, so happy. His smile only widened as he carried the beautiful little girl in his arms and gave her a kiss.

Suddenly, the wind began to blow, it was a soft breeze at first, nothing serious, but as time passed the wind became faster and colder. It sent a child down my spine.

This life is not for you scavenger… you will kill them all. You will hurt them. Ben doesn't love you enough to give you a child…

The voice traveled with the wind, in the horizon I could see a dark cloud was looming towards us. I grabbed the little boy and held him against my chest. I would do anything to him safe, my darling son.

"Momma I'm scared he said" I looked down, but my eyes went wide with fear… something dark… like ink was spreading from his neck towards his face. I looked towards Ben where he was holding our daughter.

The darkness was spreading to them too… I looked down, but my boy was gone… everything was disappearing with the wind… I was left alone in the darkness….

Oh, Rey from nowhere… you lived alone… and you will die alone… join us Rey… we will always keep you company…

I sat up startled, sweat making my hair stick to the side of my face. The room was dark, and I was gasping for air.

What was wrong with me?

"Rey? Rey what's wrong? What was that?" said Ben. The sound of his voice startled me, I didn't know he was also sleeping next to me. He sat up and put a hand on my shoulder, "It's okay I'm right here just try to calm down… I saw the end of your dream…"

I shook my head as the images jumped in my head. The two children. The dark voice. The cold wind. The darkness spreading everywhere…

"I don't know… I don't know where that came from… Sometimes I can hear the darkness call to me, but that felt so… intrusive and unnatural. It wasn't like before, where I could suppress most of it"

"Rey, Ben…" said a voice in front of us, it was Anakin. "You have to train, you have to become balanced together. Once you reach your destination, I'll try to help as much as I can. Rey you were balanced once, but now Ben is here. The dyad is complete, but you have to learn to balance each other out, otherwise one will overpower the other and it can have serious consequences for everyone"

I started to get a headache, so much had happened in one day, how far were we still from Thyferra?

At that moment a beeping sound went off and Anakin was gone. Ben got up and went towards the cockpit of the ship, I followed after. I refuse to stay in the dark room, it felt so cold and lonely… it felt like the darkness would swallow me and I would gladly drown in it.

I sat in the co-pilot seat, Ben had started the landing sequences, we had just dropped out of hyperspace.

The planet wasn't very big, but it was covered in green and some blue patches. There were cloud everywhere, and the areas that were somewhat clear were covered in a strange foggy film.

"What is that fog…?" I asked out loud.

"It's humidity, Thyferra is full of tropical jungles. It's hot and the air is wet… it's like steam. It'll be a very warm climate, I hope you like bugs, I hear the ones native to here can be rather big…" he said with a smile. I smiled back and suddenly felt an awkwardness as thick as the atmosphere of that planet. We needed to address the elephant in the room.

"Ben… we need to talk. I hate fighting with you. It never ends well for anyone…" I said reaching for a button that he couldn't reach from his side.

He sighed "I know… I hate fighting. Look Rey I… I'm sorry I was angry. I just… I've hurt you before, physically, mentally… and I hate myself for it every day. It's hard for me to understand how you could be with someone who's done the things I've done. Protecting you from harm… it's something I promised myself I would do to atone for the past mistakes…I can't bear to see anyone, or anything hurt you. It hurts me too"

I could understand that easily, even physically, his pain was my pain and vice versa.

"I understand… but can you please try to just accept the fact that I love you? I don't feel alone with you, I feel safe and warm… and I feel things I can't explain Ben. So, can you just… hang on to that and let go of what happened? If we don't let that go, we'll never be able to move on and be happy. Please… this… this is hurting me too" he turned to look at me abruptly. I met the look in his eyes, he was horrified… I could even feel it through or semi-closed bond.

"I… don't want to hurt you… I… shouldn't have come back." He said.

Kriff not this again…

"Ben you have to understand that relationships aren't perfect. Either I will hurt you, or you will hurt me. It's not about avoiding hurt, it's about learning and working through it. Now we are married, and we promised to do this even after death. Are you going to stick by it or not?"