Hey everyone,
Happy New Year and I hope everyone had a great holiday season. First off, I was wondering if anyone would be interested in some one shot stuff or even fluff pieces. I have been toying with the idea lately but I don't know if anyone would want to read them. If you like, the idea please let me know some pairings you might like. Secondly, I would really love to hear what you think of the chapter. Leave a review and let me know.
That's all now enjoy
Allons-y
As the warmer weather came and the snow melted away Hermione missed the boys. Sirius had not spoken to her since the day on the train. That is if you don't count the continued argument in the Great Hall the following morning. Which Hermione certainly wasn't. When Remus and James walked in with matching black eyes, she tried to extract answers from them about what had happened. When they refused to tell her, she put two and two together. It probably didn't help that he walked in with a holier than thou attitude. It didn't go un-noticed to her that he had a busted lip so one of them fought back. Good she remembered thinking. Slughorn broke up the shouting match, and they both received separate detentions and five point each deducted for unruly behavior. Since then they hadn't spoken, not even one word and boy did she want to have a strict word with him. It was as though Sirius was doing things to deliberately get under Hermione's skin. An accumulation of small things was starting to really annoy her. From the one too many tripping jinxes, to the endless parade of girls coming in and out of Gryffindor Tower and the not so subtle snarky comments he makes to embarrass her. Yes, all these things were finally starting to take their toll on her. Thank god, for Lily and the other girls though, if they weren't around Hermione would be completely alone. That day on the train, Hermione sought out lily and cried most of the way to Hogwarts. She felt stupid for keeping it a secret so long. Marlene had tried to take fault for the situation but Hermione wouldn't let her. The fault lied with herself and Remus. The "what ifs" played over and over in her head, even though they didn't make her feel any better. She wondered how Moony and Prongs were doing. She knew James and Remus wanted to talk to her, but they had to live in a confine space with Sirius. She understood of course, but it didn't stop the ache of missing them. Hermione didn't know how many times she'd read the same page, probably one too many. She couldn't help analyzing every detail again and again. The cycle was never ending.
'Hey Hermione…' his voice made her jump, though she'd never been so happy to be scared in all her life. The raven-haired boys sat beside her as she wrapped her arms around him hugging him tight. She had missed him dearly. She was so happy by then reality came crashing back down on her.
'James, you're talking to me. What have you done? How much trouble are you in?' Her voice was panicked as she looked around her for Sirius or Remus. She examined his body quickly, there was no visible marks, cuts or bruises.
'Calm down woman, geez. Padfoot doesn't know I'm here and if I were to tell him I voluntarily went to the library he would never believe me. How are you more importantly?' he smiled at her. For the smallest of moments Hermione could pretend that she hadn't created the drama that had separated them.
'Alive…I miss you.' She looked down unable to look any longer in his hazel eyes. He was showing her a kindness that had been sorely missed. While Hermione loved Lily, Alice and Marlene dearly the Marauders held a dear place in her heart, even if they weren't supposed to be talking to each other right now.
'Me too Vix. We all miss you even Sirius. He's just hurt is all, and well you know his temper. He could hold a grudge until the end of time. I'm sorry about the tripping in potions; I tried to get him to stop.' That had not been a fun day. Having double potions was bad enough, but to have Sirius playing childish games was a new level or annoying. Firstly, he slipped something in her cauldron that caused her calming draught to spoil. When she was forced clean, her cauldron and start again Sirius tripped her, causing the liquid to spill on her arms, face neck and chest. Lily had to escort her to the Hospital wing as her eyes began to swell shut. The rumors of course ran wild about the falling out of the foursome. The next day when she was discharged Hermione heard about the fight that went down in Gryffindor tower between Lily and the Marauders. She only wished she'd been there to see it and perhaps stop Lily from saying anything.
'I'm fine really; Madame Pomfrey healed the blisters easily enough. How's Remus, I haven't seen any new black eyes or broken noses.' As mad as Hermione was at Sirius for his foolish behaviors
'He's ok I guess, he hasn't really been that talkative lately. He misses you a lot but he cant say anything about it because we have to live with him. It's like we're walking on eggshells all the time. Sirius hasn't exactly been a great friend recently either. More interested in chasing skirts then us these days as I am sure you know that though.'
'It's hard not to notice him in every nook and cranny of the castle with a different girl every other day.'
'Now imagine that in you room too. I know it might not be easy but can you try to talk to him Hermione. Please, you two were always on a different wavelength to Moony and me. He is just hurting we need you more than ever Vix and I want all my friends at my party not just some. So pretty please just try.' With a heavy sigh, Hermione contemplated what he was asking of her. They hadn't spoken in nearly two months. How would she even start to talk to him as of right now he hated her, would she even be coax a syllable out of him?
'I'll try but I can't promise anything. You know that the likelihood of this being disastrous is really high right?' her cynical tone seemed to be a green light to James that she was indeed going to do as he asked. As the Cheshire grin spread across his face James was practically jumping out of his chair with excitement.
'I know but sometimes you just have to try.' He winked at her and Hermione rolled her eyes. Why was his happiness so infectious, she was going on a suicide mission and he couldn't be happier about it? However, he probably saw it as his family being reunited.
'Potter, what the hell are you doing in the library I wasn't even sure you knew where it was.' Their heads turned in unison to see Lily looking puzzled. Her brow furrowed her emerald green eyes narrowed in on James. She was getting ready to defend Hermione. She couldn't help but smile at the red heads willingness to protect her friend. Hermione just hoped that James didn't make her too irritated.
'Nice to see you too Evans, I just wanted to speak to the other important woman in my life. But don't worry you still rank number one in my eyes.'
'I'll talk to you later Prongs, but for now I think you should leave. Padfoot will get suspicious if you are gone for too long.'
'Are you ok? It's been a while since…everything.' Lily asked. Her green eyes full of compassion and worry for her friend. Was she ok that had yet to be decided? After all she now ad something much scarier than horcrux hunting to do. She had to talk to an angry Sirius Black.
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As the door closed behind some Hufflepuff Sirius lit a cigarette (a bad habit he'd recently acquired) and the bottle of fire whiskey that he'd opened earlier and pondered his life for a moment. He was the official lady banger of Hogwarts, taking more virginities then even he could count. Sirius had even managed to make his friends lives miserable just because he could but mainly because they'd lied to him for months. Sirius had felt so much anger by this point he was unsure that there was a way back to the light for him. He'd been so mad at Hermione and Remus, that he lost a part of himself in the process. The anger seeped into his bones and left him vibrating in a fury that even he wondered how it was being sustained. More than that, he wondered how he had not seen the signs; all of them were there as plain as the nose on his face. She didn't want to go to the Gala; he stopped waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, his refusal to kiss her at said Gala and lastly her distancing herself. They had all been there every sign he'd declined to see. He was not ready to let go of the anger he'd felt since the train and the Great Hall. Was Sirius going to the extremes in his behavior, yes he was but seeing her made the anger return. James had tried to talk him down earlier that day to no avail. Other then the anger he felt Sirius was hurt, and like any wounded animal he was attacking others to make himself seem stronger than he was. Right now, he had a focus for his rage and that was Hermione. He saw James and Remus everyday so exiling them was far more difficult than icing out Hermione. Sirius however had different ways of making his two roommates suffer. Since the first week back Sirius had been trying his hardest to bed a girl every other day. Some were just for fun but others were for distractions. He knew he was finally getting to James and Remus when they'd come in to see him banging a girl on Prongs' bed. Had they walked in two minutes earlier though they would have seen him on Moony's. They stopped him mid trust, venting about boundaries before they left him to finish the girl. He used every broom cupboard and crevasse in the castle for his endeavors. It was partly for the thrill, but mostly he wanted to be caught. He was unsure just how often he'd been in detention lately, but what he was sure of is that his mother had received letters of his promiscuity. Sirius had received five howlers this month alone, each more awful then the last. Not that he cared really. More than anything he wanted to be mean, heartless and cruel, because it hurt him less than caring. Taking a swig from the bottle he'd been nursing since this afternoon Sirius wondered if by the end of his escapades would his friends still be his friends or would he be alone. As he lifted the bottle to his lips once more he was interrupted by a soft knock at the door. Standing and stumbling slightly as he opened the door he didn't realize just how drunk he was.
'Hey sexy miss me already?' he asked cockily as he answered the door completely naked. He wasn't sure if he could handle a round two just yet but by Godric he was going to try.
'Hello Sirius…' her voice burnt into his mind as he looked into her chocolate brown eyes. What was she doing here. 'Can we talk for a moment?'
Well fuck….
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Hermione was not someone whom was easily rattled, but the thought of talking to Sirius had her stomach in knots. This was her third attempt at trying. The first one she heard James and Remus yelling at Sirius for doing something that was frankly disgusting. It was their beds after all. The second time she couldn't bring herself to knock on the door. With her arm raised, her body seized refusing to let her tap the door. That was not her finest hour, and then there was now. Every nerve was on fire as she waited for the inevitable confrontation that was waiting for her. She knew this had to happen but she also knew that it would have to hurt more before they both could heal. Should she have kept these things from him for so long, the short answer is no she shouldn't have but they did, there is no changing that now. Right now, all they could do is move on and try to fix the wrong that happened. She would admit her fault but she would not take the full brunt of his anger anymore, which had gone too far. After charms today, Hermione had officially had enough of his tyrant ways. He bewitched her quill to write "liar, liar pants on fire" so her note were useless, but the crescendo of the class happened as they were leaving when he kept casting gusts of wind to make her skirt fly up. The first time she thought it was the draft from the hall, but as it happened a second and third time, she'd had enough. He could be mad all he liked but the physical torment stops now. She after al was only human, and she could only be pushed so far before she snapped. It was a miracle that she had lasted this long. Taking a deep breathe Hermione finally knocked on the solid oak door. Her heart was beating out of her chest as she heard someone stumbling behind the closed door.
'Hey sexy miss me already?' his speech was slurred. Had he been drinking? She was sure it was meant to sound cocky and somewhat sexy but it missed its mark. That and he was completely naked, so it was all a little confronting. She'd seen him naked before but this time was different, and it was making Hermione sad. Is this what he'd become in a month?
'Hello Sirius…' she asked calmly trying not to look down. His grey eyes met hers for the first time and her heart constricted in her chest. She saw the pain that had been in her version of Sirius. How long had he really been like this? Trying to steady herself, she continued 'Can we talk for a moment?'
His face contorted in ways she hated to see. The inner struggle was real and she was unsure if she was on the winning side. Stepping aside, he allowed her to enter the room. The room was even messier then it had been before. There was a littering of empty bottles, everything from fire whiskey to muggle rum. Making his way to his trunk, Sirius pulled on a pair of jeans not bothering to cover his bare chest. If this was a normal day Hermione probably would have enjoyed his state of undress, but right now it was off putting especially given the red welted claw marks on his back. How long ago had he added another notch to his bedpost?
'Is there anywhere to sit that you haven't used in a sexual escapade?' Hermione asked feeling dirty standing in this space. She sure hoped no one ever brought a black light in here. The room smelt of several cheap perfumes, cigarettes and sweat. They offensive smells assaulted Hermione's senses. The cheap perfumes mixed with sweat and some mystery stink was enough to turn her stomach.
'Nope, but you are more than welcome to stand, after all I do not want you here too long.' The venom practically dripped from his every word. Perhaps he was being tame with the tomfoolery.
'I came here to apologize Sirius, but if you are uninterested then I can leave. However, I warn you now I will not have any more of your bullying. Be mad but work it out in a healthier way.' She said pragmatically. She tried her best to speak with intension; she was here for a task. She just hoped that her presence would not bring more trouble for James and Remus.
'Are you done?' he asked detached from any sort of emotion or meaning.
'No I'm not, actually. I want to yell and scream at you but I will not because it won't do me any good. More than that, I want you to know how sorry I am for not telling you sooner. That fault is Remus' and mine. We should have told you when it happened. But I will not take any more of your shit Sirius. After today, I will take no more of your blame or your petty games. I miss you and the others. You do not have to forgive me, that is your choice but do not make the other choose between us. That is cruel. I will be ready when and if you ever choose to forgive me.' She could feel herself beginning to crack under the weight of her heart and his gaze. If she stayed much longer, she was sure that she would cry and Hermione Jean Granger was not going to cry. Or at least she would try very, very hard not to.
'Are you done now?' his tone changed slightly, there was a crack in his façade. Perhaps this was not a complete waste of her time after all. Was there forgiveness in him after all? Or was it that she found him in a weak moment? Whatever it was Hermione was going to take the win. They hadn't shouted at each other and that was something to be commended.
'Yes Sirius I am. And if you like I will leave now.' as she turned on her heel and made her way to the door he spoke to her. His voice was barely louder than a whisper, but with her animagus hearing, she was able to hear him as though he was standing right beside her.
'I miss you too.' Hermione's breath hitched in her throat, as she stood frozen in that moment. Before she could register her movements, Hermione ran to him. Flinging herself at him and hugging Sirius tightly. She took in the smell of leather and cigarette smoke. However, the latter burned her nostrils slightly. He missed her and she missed him too. She knew she was crying as the tears pricked her eyes. As he wrapped his arms around her, she held him as tight as she could. The world felt like it stopped as they held each other in a comfortable silence.
'I'm not ready to forgive you yet Hermione, but I promise to try.' Sirius did not break the embrace as he spoke to her. She could have stayed here forever, but that was something that was unobtainable. Instead, she savored the now. She would remember now in the moment she felt weak and missed him so much that it hurt. Not wanting to say anything, she to foil his words Hermione let them sink into her. He would try, and to her that was better than nothing.
As she left him and his room silently, Hermione had a smile on her face. It would not happen overnight but they would try. She smiled a little wider as she pondered something quite entertaining. Perhaps James was the smartest of them all.
