Here it be me hearties, the last chapter arrgh. I missed the official 'Talk like a Pirate' day so I decided to make this the un-official 'Type like a Pirate' chapter preview.
"Rhack; pieces of cheese."
That be pieces of eight ya feathered fool. So enjoy this, me last bit of nautical prose, and I be hopin' you'll be a readin' me next book in the Mars stories.
"Marty writes rubbish, Marty writes rubbish RHAAK!"
Get outta here ya winged wally or I'll be makin parrot fritters for me dinnargh.
Beware the Wrath of the Nadder Rider
Chapter 5
"Quiet girl" Astrid encouraged her dragon.
Stormfly, like most dragons, would always announce her arrival with a loud cry to tell any other dragons in the area that she had no hostile intent. When Astrid had failed to find Hiccup at Gobber's forge, she had decided the training arena was the next best place to try and she was right.
"Um err, hey babe" she called as she dropped from her saddle to the ground. "Whatcha doin'?"
"Oh nothing urgent" he smiled at her "Just interrogating a Thorston."
"I can see that" Astrid gave Hiccup a quick kiss on the cheek "but err... why?"
"You never know what you might find out if you ask the right way" Hiccup grinned.
Astrid considered Hiccups words as she pondered the red faced young man hanging upside down on the spinning target wheel she would often use for advanced axe throwing practice.
"Hey Astrid; nice day huh?"
"Um... hello Tuffnut; yes, yes it is."
"So then" Hiccup asked "anything I can help you with today M'lady?"
"What? Oh... yes" Astrid's mind snapped back to the present "do you remember what you were doing a year ago today?"
"Not off the top of my head, but let me think."
Astrid looked back to the inverted Dragon Rider who just smiled and tried to wave, even though his hands were tied.
"So what did you do to make Hiccup truss you up like that?" she asked.
"It's not what I did" Tuffnut declared, "it's what I didn't do."
"And what didn't you do?"
"I didn't tell him why you were mad at him."
"What makes you think I'm mad at Hiccup?"
"Ruffnut said you were."
"I'm beginning to see why you hung him upside down Babe. Makes me wish I'd done the same thing to his sister" Astrid sighed as she rubbed her forehead.
"What did you do to her?" Hiccup asked.
"Axe blade to the throat with threats of future violence if she did not stop following me."
"Aww come on Astrid, be fair" Tuffnut moaned. "She only wanted to see what you had planned for Hiccup."
"Ruffnut wanted to watch me take Hiccup on a romantic picnic? I know she hasn't got a boyfriend, but that's no reason to live vicariously through my relationship."
"THAT'S IT!" Hiccup cried out "It was about a week after the Battle of Dragon Island when we went on that picnic."
"And your new leg fell off" Astrid smiled.
"I've been trying to forget that bit, but the picnic was fun."
"I thought so too and that is why I thought it would be nice to do it again, but without the broken limb."
"And I agree with you wholeheartedly" Hiccup declared as he squeezed her hand. "Just let me cut down this idiot and we can be off."
"We could always leave him for Ruffnut to find" Astrid thought.
"Please don't do that" Tuffnut begged "If she finds me tied up like this..."
"He has a point Astrid" Hiccup nodded "there is no telling what Ruff would do to him given the opportunity."
"WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?"
Everyone turned to see a very authoritative looking Fishlegs striding into the arena with his Gronckle at his heels.
"Oh hey Fishlegs; just a little harmless torture" Hiccup smirked.
"Well I hope you've finished playing around because I've got a job for you."
"You... have got a job... for me? I'm sorry Fishlegs but who put you in charge?"
"Stoick did, so get Tuffnut down off that wheel immediately."
Hiccup was about to protest when he noticed Astrid was beginning to look decidedly worried and guilty.
"You don't understand Fishlegs" she began to explain "Hiccup and I were about to go on a picnic... you know... just the two of us."
"I'm afraid not Astrid" came the reply. "I was just thinking about village security, when I realised we have no idea what the Berserkers and the Outcasts have been up to for the last week because we've been too busy celebrating. So I want you to take the twins over to Outcast Island while Hiccup and Snotlout check out the Berserker tribe."
"Listen Fishlegs, Astrid and I will do a quick circuit of Berk before we go, to make sure there are no ships in the area. We can always do a long range scouting trip tomorrow" Hiccup felt sure this idea would be satisfactory.
"No Hiccup; you will go and find Snotlout and follow my orders."
"I do outrank you Fishlegs... and so does Astrid."
"Not today you don't; not until Chief Stoick says so anyway."
"I've created a monster" Astrid mumbled.
"Then perhaps I should go and have a little talk to my father and see what he has to say" Hiccup decided.
"I wouldn't if I were you" Astrid whispered "I think Stoick is feeling a little worse for wear and is likely to bite you head off if you wake him up."
"And it wouldn't set a very good example for the other Dragon Riders" Fishlegs declared smugly.
"But what about my picnic hamper?" Astrid moaned "I worked so hard on it."
"Oh it won't go to waste" Fishlegs grinned "You can divide it up amongst the riders to help keep your strength up during your patrol. Now get going and I want a detailed report as soon as you get back."
And then, without another word or waiting for more complaints, the Acting Chief of Berk turned and strode off so quickly, Meatlug had to hurry to catch up."
"Sorry Babe" Astrid sighed "I did not see this coming."
"Doesn't he realise I can make his life a living hell tomorrow?"
"But I know you won't" she smiled as she gazed into his eyes "because deep down, you know he's right."
"And that's what bothers me" Hiccup huffed.
Astrid walked over to the wheel and untied Tuffnut before ordering him to go find his sister. Hiccup still seemed very annoyed so before she returned to her dragon, Astrid placed her hands gently on his cheeks and kissed him.
"Dinner in the Great Hall tonight?" Astrid offered as she climbed into her saddle.
"Or maybe back at my place" Hiccup smirked.
"It's a date" she agreed and flew off on patrol.
"Come on Toothless, we've got go and see what Dagur is up to" Hiccup faced up to reality "And when we get back, maybe we could hide a dead fish in a certain Gronkle riders bed.
This was originally going to be one of those 'Feel Good' stories that ended with Hiccup and Astrid flying off together until... I got another idea (evil laugh).
Now I have to think of a name for my Mars story (it's been in existence for more than a year without one) so I can start posting it. Happy to say it is not as depressing as 'The Ship' and even has some crazy moments in it.
Thanks again for reading, Marty.
