Hi all
This is your official WARNING! This in places is a darker chapter, it depicts child abuse. So if you have any sensitivities to this subject matter, I suggest you skip it and wait for next month. If you are still sticking around and enjoy my work let me know by leaving a review, follow or favourite.
Allons-y
Hermione had been glad when Lily had invited her to stay with her for the second week of the holidays. She had been going stir crazy waiting any sort of update. Mr and Mrs Evans were delighted to have a friend of Lily's stay with them in Cokeworth. Apparently Lily had written home telling them all about her friend Hermione. Mr Evans had the same bright green eyes as his daughter. It would be another thing that Hermione wished she could share with her version of Harry. Though on the flipside of the delightful Evans parents there was a Petunia. And Hermione was finding it incredibly difficult to be polite to the future Mrs Dursley. She really was just as awful as she remembered. On more than one occasion Hermione had overheard the petty girl calling them freaks. So to say it was a relief to visit Muggle London with Lily…alone was an understatement. It was everything she'd hoped it would be and more. The bright colours and sounds of the 1970's were in full force. Lily took her to all of her favourite spots. Two record shops, a second hand book store, the movie theatre and a hole in the wall ice creamery that was heavenly. But it was when Lily dragged her into a clothing store that Hermione started to fade. She'd never considered herself a fashionable person really, but Lily was treating her like a doll.
"Why are these jeans so bloody tight?" Hermione complained as she felt her intestines were becoming accommodated with her throat.
"I don't see you complaining when the boys wear tight pants." Hermione smiled to herself in the dressing room. The look of Remus's rather shapely arse came into her mind. It was really a wonderful sight behold.
"Are you sure these look alright?"
"Oh my god. Remus is going to have heart failure when he sees these." Lily said heartily as she fanned herself down. It really was a delight to know the ginger sometimes. "Keeping the jeans…next" Lily thrusted a black metallic jumpsuit towards her and Hermione couldn't help but laugh. Never in a million years would she ever be caught dead in something like that. "Don't laugh you would look proper fit in something like this" Hermione refused to take the garment out of Lily's extended hand.
"It's cute that you even entertained that idea. What else?" Quickly discarding the disco outfit, Lily turned back to face Hermione with a wild smirk on her face. That was when she saw the beautiful black leather jacket. Naughty witch Hermione thought to herself as they both began to laugh. It was certainly a statement piece and not one that she would normally gravitate towards but something about it felt good. As she slipped in onto her shoulders, her smile quickly became sombre as her thoughts drifted to the boys. Sirius would likely make some wildly flirtatious comment, Remus would probably make her blush and James would tell them both to knock it off.
"Hey where'd you go just now?" Lily asked quietly. The look of concern was touching. Hermione berated herself for letting the thoughts creep into an otherwise perfectly lovely day.
"It's nothing really…I just feel like I should have forgiven the boys before the summer break." Lily didn't look at her with judgement or anger. If anything she was surprisingly calm given the reason they hadn't been speaking to the boys.
"You weren't ready then. And if you had you wouldn't have meant it." The words hit Hermione square in the chest. Of course Lily would say the exact right thing that was prophetic and wonderful. "But you can fix that going forward. The only thing in life that can't be undone is death and taxes. You forget sometime that you have time Hermione." Damn she was good.
"Hand me the damn jumpsuit." Her face lit up like a Christmas tree as Hermione begrudgingly took the awful sparling garment from her eager hands.
"You're the best friend ever."
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"He clearly isn't ready as you promised Aunt." Bellatrix's voice grated against Sirius's nerves. He didn't know how much longer he could hold out. Between the hunger and the daily torture sessions, he felt as though he was barely alive. He'd known that trouble had been racing towards him for months, but it did very little to prepare him for what had come. He should have run when he had the opportunity or told Potters or Dumbledore. But most of all he wish he'd been able to spend more time with those he loved. James, Remus and...Hermione. The thought of her made him shift uncomfortably. Such a small movement made his muscles seize and burn. They begged for any sort of proper movement, that he couldn't give them. This fucking cupboard had become his room once he'd lacked the strength to climb the stairs himself. Bella had delighted in dragging him by his hair down the fucking things as she shoved him in the small space. He was grateful for the moments between the sessions. The Cruciatus curse was unlike any beatings or pain he'd ever felt before. The white hot pain made it feel like the marrow of his bones were on fire. But what worried him more was if he survived this (and that was a big if) would he still be him? He wasn't proud, but Sirius had been contemplating the cost of his soul. What would he be willing to give up for the simple pleasures? A real hot meal, a long steaming shower or a bed to sleep in. Was it worth giving into the darkness that was inside of him for these simple things? On the other hand if he kept resisting this how much longer would he be able to keep his wits about him? How long would it be before he was tortured into insanity? Then her words came into his mind "You have to be strong. Stronger then you have ever had to be before." She knew he would go through this. She knew before he stepped onto the platform that he would be tested like this. She warned him. He hated her in that moment. Why didn't she try and stop this? Was he nothing to her? All she cared about was Moony and Prongs. She came back to save James's son after all. It had nothing to do with him. The resentment sat in his chest. As he heard his mother fighting in the other room.
"I cannot control that beast. He has been a stain on our house since his birth" Walburga argued with Bella. It had become a daily occurrence now. It was probably the highlight of his currently miserable existence. The picture of his mother's horribly red face was really a tiny constellation prize.
"Then we need to…persuade him" Bella's cold tone ran up his spine. She was a sadistic fucking women. Sirius didn't need to be fully alert to know who they were talking about. It was always going to be him.
"Not Regulus." Orion the righteous prick finally spoke.
"Figure it out Uncle or we will do things my way." He heard the familiar hissing noise of the fireplace and he knew she was gone. That bitch was going to use Regulus to get to him if he didn't relent soon. They knew he would never let his brother come to any harm. The people he loved was his weakness. In his heart he knew, if it came down to saving his brother life Sirius would do it, even if he was a fucking tosser.
"Sirius…" Regulus's voice was barely loud enough for Sirius to hear him. If it hadn't been for his canine hearing ability he would have surely missed it.
"Reg" his voice was cracked and gravelly. How could his own voice sound so alien to him?
"I'm glad your alive brother. This is not how things should be." No shit he thought to himself. What kind of parents would willingly do this to their child let alone their heir? But that's was why they had spares after all. Sirius hated that thought. Regulus was more than a "spare"
"That is the first nice thing you've said to me in years."
"Even a cold snake could have heart for a Vixen." WHAT THE FUCK DID HE JUST SAY!? A sudden jolt of adrenaline ran through his veins. Did he dare to hope that what he meant by Vixen…Hermione? Surely not…right?That's why I'm asking you to trust that I have set something up for you. Do you trust me? Sirius wanted to ask his brother so many questions.
"REGULUS! Stay away from that door." NO! he shouted in his mind. Not yet…please not yet Regulus still had more to tell him. He needed to know.
"Sorry mother I meant no disrespect. I just wanted to remind the dog of his place." Sirius froze at his words. Was he trying to tell him something, why would he call him a dog? There were certainly more imaginative curses. For goodness sakes his brother had once called him a gormless trollop. For him to be so polite was very unlike him. Please let this be the truth? Could he really have meant something to Hermione?
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At the sight of the pure black owl, Hermione's heart stopped beating in her chest. Snatching the small piece of parchment from its leg she read the short message greedily.
He'll be with you shortly. R
He'll be with her shortly. What the fuck kind of timeframe is shortly?
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James was starting to think his sister had finally lost her marbles. She'd been slowly losing her mind for weeks now. But the last few days was a whole new level. To say she was on edge, would be a ludicrous understatement. For the past three night in a rows she'd slept in the large chair in the formal living room, in front of the fireplace connected to the floo. Pinky had been having a fit before she'd called Dorea in for help. Neither house elf or parent had been successful in their attempt to lure her away. Hermione would snap or grumble thus the current predicament. Dorea had, had enough of this behaviour. Thus the family meeting and now entire Potter brood was trying and failing to coax, the reason for her anxiety. James had an inkling to what it could be but he'd hoped with everything he had that he was wrong. Charlus stepped forward first. Her grey eyes looked for any hint to why she was so out of sorts.
"Hermione dear you'll wear a hole in the floor if you continue to pace like that." Their fathers soothing tone fell on deaf ears as Hermione didn't even bother to acknowledge his words. James was urged by his mother to try and speak offering any kind of distraction.
"Vix c'mon let's play some exploding snap, chess or something." Again she said nothing. Hermione just continued the four steps pacing backward and forwards.
"Boys leave us alone for a moment will you?" James was not accustomed to seeing their mother like this. She was normally a pillar of strength but whatever was happening had her rattled.
"Come on son. This is not for our ears."
"NO! No one leaves" As the words left her mouth it frightened him how cold they were.
"That is quite enough Hermione. You will not speak in such an unearthly manner. Secondly if you continue to pace like that, I'll have to bind you. Now why don't you tell us what has you so, jittery." The deathly look she shot Mum was truly alarming. What was she playing at?
"I'm waiting for someone."
"Who? I will not ask again." Dorea's firmness never wavered. Had this been any other witch they should have felt intimated by the sheer tone of her voice. Hell James was feeling a sympathetic intimidation for Hermione. Not that he would say the words out loud naturally.
"Sirius." She faltered. That's when he knew. The letter, Hermione's detachment and threatening Lady Black on the platform. She knew like James that what was coming was dark and twisted. It was as everything he'd feared and hoped would never happen. Hermione's red rimmed eyes met his and his heart stopped in his chest.
"I think its best that you explain." Charlus stepped forward to comfort Hermione as she mirrored his movement stepping backwards. She didn't want any of them to touch her. How could he have been so blind? He suggest a friendly game of exploding snap for fucks sake. James remembered Christmas morning last year. She told him that was an event that needed to happen. He just needed to keep faith in her that she was right. When the time would come, he would ask her why. The thought of crying in her arms immediately flew through his mind, Padfoot was in real danger.
"He's in trouble. Not his normal kind of trouble. Life and death kind of trouble" her voice was shaky as the emotion threatened to bubble over. He could see she was so close to breaking down completely, as the fireplace roared to live with vibrant green flames. Four sets of eyes immediately turned to see an unconscious emaciated body fell out of the grate. In tattered and blood stained clothes was his friend. His hair hung across his face and even looked matted in sections caked with dirt and probably blood. This couldn't be him, no…no. Who would do this to their own family? "PINKY!" Hermione screamed for the house elf with more pain then he'd ever heard from her lips. James thought he was going to be sick as the familiar crack of Pinky's apparition.
"Young mistress cal…oh no, no Pinky's naughty boy. He be very hurt. He bleeds on the floor." James hadn't noticed the blood seeping from the wounds and pooling around his body before Pinky had mentioned it. That was the final straw for James as he rushed to the potted plant in the corner of the room. Dorea and Hermione were at his side in less time than it took to blink.
"Charlus! Bring only healers we trust my love. This will not bode well if he goes to Mungo's. Go Now!" Everything was swirling in his mind. James should be doing something like his father instead he could only survey the damage in front of him. As Sirius's body began to convulse Dorea rolled him onto his side.
"SIRIUS! What the fuck happened?" His mother would normally scold him for using such language. But not tonight. His words perfectly matched the tone of what'd just happened
"I'm so sorry. Sirius, oh god. I'm sorry. Please forgive me"
"Pinky spare room now." Dorea snapped into action. As soon as the order had left his mother's lips Sirius and Pinky had disappeared "Hermione explain now." Hermione looked like she was barely able to function let alone explain as she had his blood on her hands. She refused to look at them. She didn't want to say the words that James knew were coming.
"They tried to force the mark on him. He…he"
"He wouldn't take it" for the first time in his whole life James heard his mother curse under her breath. While on a normal day this would have given him an exorbitant amount of joy it only affirmed they were up shit creek.
"He…blasted of the tree. His mother she…." Her voice was so soft. It was not the Hermione, James had come to love and admire. This girl in front of him seemed broken, wrecked by the guilt of not being able to change this event. James crossed the room and Held his sister and she clung to him. There was nothing either could do now, except be there for each other and prey to Merlin that Sirius would be ok. James wanted to be sick again as he saw Sirius's blood on his skin.
"Alphard needs to know. He'll look after him as the head of the house. That woman has gone mad." Dorea regardless of the blood on her hands cupped her daughter cheek and forced her to look in her steel grey eyes. It was frightening to James to see his mother like this. This woman was a force to be reckoned with. No one was safe even if it were the Minister himself. If Dorea Potter had this look on her face you'd best lay down and play dead. Because she was rabid with anger and someone was going to pay. "Look at me. This is not your doing. You did nothing wrong. We have him now darling, he'll be fine. James look after your sister" Hermione was cold and shaking in his unwavering grasp.
"Dorea…Mum. I'm scared" Dorea placed a kiss into her hair line, steadying herself as much as she was comforting Hermione. This was not something anyone had been prepared for.
"We have him now. We take care of our own." Dorea quickly swept out of the room leaving them alone.
"James…I…I'm so sorry…I should have….done more" James held her as her body gave out shuddering, between heaping breathes and painful cries. James held her and cried with her, never letting go. Not even for a moment as his mother's words echoed in his head we have him now. We take care of our own.
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His mind wondered to what had happened in this room just hours before. Regulus had been forced to watch his brother's punishments his entire life. It always left him wanting to be sick, but ultimately he knew that he would willingly follow the rules put upon him. It was self-preservation at its core. They wouldn't hurt him as long as he followed their rules. That changed however when Hermione had opened his eyes. It was then in the Room of Requirement that Regulus's life had changed. Not that he could say the words out loud, that mattered not though. He was offered an opportunity that he would not squander. After he served his purpose Hermione would help free him from the binds of his family. That was his condition and she was willing to pay it. Sirius was irrational and hot headed, he didn't want to admit it but he had more of the Black madness then his brother. Nonetheless the only thing both of them wanted more than anything in the world was to be free of this retched family. Since Sirius's "escape" each member of the family had been interrogated. Hermione had been right to trust him to get his brother out. Regulus was a skilled in Occlumency he had only shown them the images that they needed to see.
"How did he escape?" his hissing tone left much to be desired. He was displeased by such a betrayal. A Black heir had been promised, and yet none had been delivered. As he paced the room Regulus didn't dare look him in the eyes, instead he focused on the crimson red blood that stained his feet. Sirius's blood.
"We beg your forgiveness my lord." Orion begged for the mercy that shouldn't be afforded as an hour ago he was allowing his wife and cousin to brutally torture his eldest son.
"I have no need for apologises. The house Black promised me a loyal follower. Broken or not I believe were your words. I do not take well to dissatisfactions. You have another yes?"
"He's younger than his brother, no more than a boy really. He is not ready for your many gifts" Walburga's voice faltered. Never in his entire life had Regulus seen his mother fear another human being until now.
"Then I suggest you ready the boy. I will not take kindly to another insult."
"Of course my lord, you will have him. His sixteenth birthday is approaching soon. He will serve you loyally by then. Regulus has always been more docile and obedient, unlike his traitor brother. It would be his honour to serve you" His father boasted proudly, his hand clapping down on his shoulder. This was the first time Regulus dared to fully look at the man in front of him. He was pale skin and willowy frame, was deceiving to the true power that flowed through him. Regulus knew better then to underestimate him.
"Is that right boy?" Voldemort turned on his charm as he addressed him, but he knew better. The thing that gave away any lack of sincerity towards Regulus was his emotionless scarlet red eyes. They bore into Regulus's soul threatening to break him from the inside out. He knew at that moment he was trapped, and that he would have to bare the mark of this mad man. He would not fight so obviously like Sirius had he wasn't strong enough for that. He'd never been like his brother in that way.
"Toujours Pur." He said his family's words with the pride that was expected as he bowed to the pale formidable being in front of him. The sickly dark and conniving grin that crossed the Dark Lords face made his stomach lurch. Bella stood beside him practically bouncing with excitement over Regulus's words. As they Voldemort and Bellatrix left them it took all his constitution not to be sick. His brother's blood still slick and wet on the floor and Regulus had already been offered to that mad man. The feeling in his chest was not unfamiliar to the younger Black brother, it was something he had come to feel quite a lot in relation to Sirius. Regulus let the envy run through his veins. Sirius had someone like Hermione to care for him. That lucky bastard.
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Sirius didn't need to be fully conscious to know where he was. The soft bed beneath him and a familiar scent of his true home told him he'd made it. Potter Manor. Regulus…he'd gotten him to the Potter's to…Hermione. Every inch of his body ached. There was nothing quite like the aftermaths of being horrifically tortured and starved to make the body sore.
"I know you're awake dear" Dorea's voice was that of angels. Slowly Sirius dared to open his eyes. Her face was drawn with worry. The weight of her worrying gaze made him nervous. He shifted slightly only for a large amount of colourfully language to fall from his lips "It's best not to move. The healer managed to stop your seizures, thank Merlin for that. It was touch and go for a moment there, she seemed hopeful that they should return. Your healing is only in the beginning phases as of yet. Time will tell about any lasting implications"
"How long have I been out?" Sirius's voice sound deep and gravelly, as though it hadn't been used in a number of days.
"Not long enough; your body needs to heal more" Dorea brushed some of the stray hairs from his face. Was he really safe? What had happened since he got here? Where was Regulus? Where was Hermione and was she safe? There were so many things he wanted to know.
"Ma, what, how…How did I get here?" he implored her. At the very least he needed to know this?
"That is a great question. I am afraid I don't have the answer. Hermione I am sure will tell you, however she is indisposed" Sirius followed Dorea's glance. His heart swelled in his chest at the sight of a sleeping Hermione by his bedside. She looked virtuous in her sleep. "It will be answered in full at a later time. What I want to know is what you remember? I wouldn't ask if it were not important." As quickly as he'd been elated, the feeling left. Dorea needed to know what had happened. Sirius didn't know if he had the energy to go too in-depth about his experience nor did he think he was stable enough to give her every detail yet. He'd give her the highlights nothing further. He'd tell her just enough.
"I don't remember much toward the end. I'd been receiving letters since Christmas, each told me that I would be taking my rightful place in the family come the summer. Hermione, she knew. Begged me not to go, but I had to. You saw them on the platform. Something was different. The moment we got home, I was locked me in my room. That night was the first time they asked me Bella, Orion and Walburga. They asked me to take his mark. Naturally I rejected the offer, told them to fuck off. Bella didn't take kindly to my answer. That was the first time I was hit with Crucio. It hurt like nothing I'd ever experience Ma. It was white hot pain I thought my head was going to explode. Bella just laughed. She was enjoying it. After that every day at the same time they'd ask me. I rejected every time. It started slowly they started retracting privileges. Taking my mattress, limiting my time out side of my room, my food and bathroom breaks. That however only worked until there was nothing left in my room to take. That's when they forced me into this cupboard under the stairs. It wasn't big enough for me to move really. The ache in my body was intense; when those tactics didn't work three meals became two, then two to one. By the end I was on this grey gruel every two or three days with minimal water. They liked the cupboard I think, you see it was easier to drag me out." Sirius could see the flicker of fear and anger in Dorea's face. She was a Black too. They'd been trained to keep all useless emotions below the surface. Only another Black like him could see she was finding this difficult to hear. "The last day was the worst from what I can remember. Bella had been getting sick of me; she suggested her blade could help speed things up. The fat bitch told her not to kill me just let me bleed" This was where Sirius began to break. Since the time they were little boys, as punishment not just to they'd made Regulus watch Sirius being beaten or disciplined as they called it. It added a layer to the punishments, embarrassing him and teaching Reg. It was always to show Regulus what happened to those who disobeyed. He remembered the terrified look on his brothers faces as Bellatrix began to cut into his flesh. Sirius refused to scream as each swipe of her blade. He'd wanted to so very badly but he refused to give that psychotic bitch the satisfaction. "They made Reg watch. They always made him watch. He flinched at first, but not at the end. When Bella was done carving Walbura-bitch. She threaten to blast me off the tree if I didn't agree. So I spat blood into face. She…it hurt Ma. Crucio, again and again. It always hurt. I refused to scream. I don't know how long she was at it could have been minutes or even hours. But she asked again for me to yield. So I called her a twat faced toad. Her face was incredible. She did it then. Blasted me off the tree. I wish I remember the feeling, of finally being free. I heard her leave. She was arguing with Bella leaving Reggie with me, he looked scarred. I…can't remember all of what he said, but he said Hermione's name. Then the next thing is waking up being here. How bad was in Ma?" he almost didn't want to know. He didn't want to think that anyone let alone a mother and father could allow this to happen to their child.
"Fifteen lacerations, five stab wounds, malnutrition likely from the starvation, evidence of Cruciatus, several fractures, a dislocated shoulder, concussion and your bruises had bruises. So tell me did we miss anything?" As she finished, Sirius felt like he was going to be sick. He'd survived all of that. He wanted to break and crack never to recover. But he wouldn't.
"When you put it like that I could have gone another round of two" Sirius tried to sound cocky and confident. The key word was tried. He knew it was a joke in bad taste by the look on Dorea's face.
"This is no joke Sirius Orion Black." He steel grey eyes mirrored his own; they were full of unfiltered anger. Not at him he knew that, he held no blame here. He knew he shouldn't have made the joke, but the alternative hurt too badly.
"I know." His voice broke and cracked "I just…how could they…I" Sirius couldn't remember the last time he'd cried. It was something he just didn't do, until now. He berated himself for this; he couldn't help but feel weak. That's what he'd been taught his whole life. Without waiting and regardless of the pain Dorea swept him into a hug. He didn't ever think that this would be his life. It made him ashamed that he begged for death as he was being cursed. Not that he vocalised that desire. He wasn't the brightest bulb in the box but he certainly wasn't the dimmest. Had he said it out loud, Bella would have all too willingly ended his life. As Dorea held him she whispered in his ear, words that made him stop and ponder the other possibility.
"You are rarity unlike any our family had seen. The only Black to ever be sorted into Gryffindor. They did not do this because you are like them. They did it because you weren't. A ruby in the sea of emeralds. They were unworthy of you, not the other way around. Are we clear?" As she pulled away from him Sirius didn't know where to look of how to react to her physical display of affection. Especially after his visible breakdown, this was not something he had much experience in. This whole feeling emotions and physically showing them thing. It really wasn't that dignified.
"How mad was she?" he motioned over to the still sleeping Hermione. He wondered how she hadn't woken up given their conversations. But her breathing remained steady and rhythmic heartbeat was a comfort to him. Not to mention that ever slight snore that she had was absolutely adorable.
"She wasn't mad, guilty would be a better word for it. My daughter is stronger than any witch I've ever known. However Hermione carries an immense weight on her shoulders, for someone so young. She asked for your forgiveness more than once. She knew this was coming, and she felt an insatiable amount of guilt for allowing it to happen." The small petty dark part of Sirius was ropable at her, she knew this would happen to him and she'd seemingly done nothing to stop it. But the bigger lighter side of him knew she had nothing to apologise for. In all likelihood she was the reason he was still alive. She'd gotten to Regulus. She knew he would help, and he did on her orders. Hermione had asked him to trust her and that was and is exactly what he'd do. If Hermione asked him to Sirius would follow her into hell. "She will however be mad at me. I laced her tea with sleeping drought." His eyes went wide. Dorea was a snake; probably the only good one to ever come out of the pit, there was no hiding that. Sirius just hoped he'd get a front row seat to the show when Hermione figured out what happened. The only thing sexier than the regular Hermione was the outrageously pissed off Hermione. "She hasn't left your side since you arrived. Rest dear. You're safe here; you'll never have to go back." Those words made him want to cry. He'd never fit in with the horrific beliefs of his family. They'd considered him an uncontrollable disobedient a stain on an otherwise "perfect" house, he'd sometimes began to believe they were right. Sirius wished he'd been able to remember the feeling the moment he'd been blasted off the family tree. He had a feeling that this moment here and now would have trumped it. Sirius Orion Black was free.
"Thank you"
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Sirius had been in a dreamless sleep for two days. Hermione hadn't left his side for a moment, and she wouldn't until he woke up. Much like with James, Hermione had felt an astonishingly large amount of guilt over Sirius's injuries. She could have warned him better then she had, trained him or protected him. What she had done wasn't enough. Surely this could have been avoided completely and she just hadn't tried hard enough. She'd been too mad at him for the attack on Severus. She didn't know why she had even attempted to try and read this bloody book. She'd read the same page four bloody times now.
"Hey sexy." His low croaky voice was a welcome and pleasing sound to her ears. For the first time in weeks it felt as though Hermione could take a full breathe of air.
"You haven't spoken to me in weeks and your opening line is "hey Sexy" I'm disappointed" she gleefully smiled at him. His face was badly bruised and still healing but as he smiled at her, she could see some of her Sirius there.
"Would you prefer me to say with your legs on my bed I can see right up your skirt…oh fuck Vix. Why are you beating an injured man?" Hermione swatted him with her book. He'd scared the living daylights out of her. No contact for weeks, not even from Regulus to tell her any kind of news. Then as she is slowly losing her marbles due to the stress he flops out of the fireplace.
"Because you gave me a heart attack. What were you thinking? Provoking her like that. You nearly died" Hermione couldn't get the image of his unconscious body out of her mind. It wasn't supposed to go as far as it had, Sirius wasn't supposed to show up half dead and bleeding on the marble floor.
"So I've been told." Hermione's face contorted into a smile, as Sirius's did the same. The laughter that filled the room seemed so out of place given the circumstances. Not that it mattered, if anything it only made them laugh even harder. Hermione had never been so grateful to see his smile, to see her Sirius. As the laughter died they sat in an uncomfortable silence. She could see him wanting to tell her something, but he was struggling to find the right words. Hermione reached for his hand and squeezed it.
"I nearly took it you know. His mark." He didn't look at her. He didn't need to. Hermione saw the shame spread across his features. "I felt like I was dying, every curse, every wound, being starved, I just wanted it to end." Hermione found herself trying to blink away her tears.
"But you didn't." her voice was barley louder than a whisper. She didn't have enough strength behind her at that moment for it to be anything louder than that.
"No I didn't because Reggie, he…he got me out."
"Imagine that." She said with a weak smile. Regulus had done as he'd promised, the first part of his involvement was complete. Now she would have to wait, for what came next. For what she had promised would take time and patience. If only she could tell Sirius the truth that his brother was more like him then he could have ever known. But that was part of the conditions. Sirius wasn't to know until the right moment of his brother's loyalty to him. Sirius would likely do something stupid if he knew too soon.
"He said your name Hermione. I don't remember anything else. But I heard your name. What did you say to him? Why'd he get me out?" His grey eyes begged her for answers she was unable to give him yet. All the pain he felt, the unknowing was going to be his undoing. So Hermione fed him enough to satisfy the question but omit the whole truth.
"I will answer all your questions I promise. But right now all I can tell you your brother is so brave. I went to him because he can be trusted." His face scrunched in displeasure as he glared at her. He wanted more information she knew this but he was running up the wrong tree. Hermione wasn't going to risk saying too much and lose her ability to perform any kind of magic. "Don't look at me like that. I made him swear an oath on him magic. Not to mention his skills are impressive. He is more like you then I would have first imagined." Hermione's favourite smile crossed Sirius's lips. It was the wicked mischievous grin.
"If I didn't know better kitten I'd think you have a thing for my brother."
"Why does every one think I fancy your brother? I did it to save your life." Hermione groaned. This joke needed to die. It wasn't funny when Snape said it and it certainly wasn't funny now.
"Do you fantasise about him, down alone in the dungeons. How a lioness could warm a snake's bed?" Sirius jested and tortured Hermione filling her mind with unpleasant imagery. Green was not her colour truly, but she wasn't going to let him get away with these kind of comments. Injured or not Hermione needed to put Sirius in his place.
"Who said I wanted to warm a snake's bed. I would much rather hear a lions roar" Hermione said as she leaned in and bit the inside of her lip. His steely grey eyes went wide as he let out a joyful barking laugh.
"Now that's the kind of bedside manner I'm after"
"You should rest. Maybe later I'll give you a sponge bath."
"Don't tease me like that Hermione." His tone changed to something hungrier then she'd imagined. No doubt in her mind, he was imagining her in one of those skimpy nurse costumes giving him a sponge bath. The scene in his mind would end with her making sure he was "satisfied" with her service.
"Who said I was teasing" She enjoyed teasing Sirius at times. But today she was honestly disappointed, it had been far too easy to get under his skin and assault his senses. As Hermione sauntered out of the room, she could feel his longing gaze raking over her body. As she slowly closed the double doors Hermione winked at him. A low growl came from his lips as she used his signature move against him. She considered it a get well soon gift for him, and an added bit of fun for her. It was all round win for everyone involved.
As she closed the doors Hermione smiled to herself out of a relief that there was still some of her Sirius still in there. He wasn't completely lost to her at least for now.
"You know there is nothing wrong with loving a snake." Whatever flirtatious fun had been there was short lived as she turned to see her mother standing beside her with a cocked eyebrow. How terribly predictable of Dorea. She'd been listening to her "private" conversation. Though what more would Hermione expect from her mother. She was after all probably one of the only good snakes to come from the dungeons.
"Of course you were listening." Dorea tried to feign her displeasure at such a statement against her character. It was far too over acted to be worth any kind of merit.
"Is it not a mother's job to care for her children?" Hermione knew better however then to fall for something so superficial. Perhaps if she was James it might have worked but she wasn't and it was a poor attempt by Dorea's often skilled standards. Even the Potter Matriarch knew this as the sly smile spread across her lips "Could you blame me for trying?"
"I know there is nothing wrong with loving a Slytherin, not that I do mind you." Hermione clarified, taking the small piece of bait her Dorea had left for her more out of curiosity than anything else. She wanted her mother to tip her hand. To see what was truly going through her mind as she listened into her conversations.
"From what I've been told you are a woman with suitors from all the houses. Should I be worried about letters of intent?" it was Hermione's turn now to pretend she had no idea what her mother was talking about. Though she did make a mental note to make her brother pay for oversharing about her exploits.
"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean. I don't fancy anyone from other houses" Hermione baited her mother. She had a distinct suspicion that she hoped her mother would confirm for her. And if she was right Prongs was in for it.
"Just from your own then." There it was. James the rat had told her about her sort of complicated relationship status. She was going to wallop him later "Don't be too angry with brother. He just confirmed what I already suspected dear. Anyone could see that your boys would move heaven and earth for you. James in a brotherly way naturally. Remus and Sirius however, they are lions through and through. Not being able to keep anything hidden. Bless them."
"Sirius and I flirt sure. I mean he flirts with anything with a pulse or beds them or both. He has no shame nor feelings for me. I am sure of that." That was a lie. Hermione just hoped her mother would not call her on it. Things with Sirius were just as complicated as they had ever been. "Remus and I well things are complicated to say the least." Her heart sank as she thought of Remus. He was so good and heavens knew her world could use his goodness. She'd sent him letters, but none had been returned as of yet. But she still tried.
"I hope that if you didn't see what others do before Hermione you will perhaps go forward with your eyes open. Seeing all that lies in front of you and not just behind." Dorea's words sat heavy in her mind and her heart. Was she chasing ghosts of her past not seeing what was in front of her now. So much of Hermione's time here was plagued by the future to come. More than anything it she wanted to have a conversation with her adoptive mother that didn't end with her asking more questions and getting fewer answers. What did Dorea think she was missing? Was it a simple as wanting her daughter to enjoy her life or was it something bigger.
"Boys are frustrating" Hermione joked as Dorea wrapped her arm around her shoulders. Her steely grey eyes were alight with the same mischievous look that Hermione loved seeing in Sirius.
"No truer words were ever spoken my sweet girl." Dorea's arms were still draped around Hermione's shoulders as they laughed and walked away from Sirius's room. Something wasn't sitting well with her though, she wasn't entirely sure what it was though and that was a dangerous thing when it came to Dorea Potter.
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Sirius was glad when the healers had allowed him to finally leave his bed. It had conditions however, no strenuous activities and certainly noting to hinder his still fragile health. The first morning he felt like an invalid. He had to stop three times as he made his way to the kitchen for breakfast. Once the meal was consumed he then slept for three hours. The Potters had been saintly when it came to his recovery. Hermione particularly. She never left his side, never judged his slow healing or walking. Even as the nightmares filled his unconsciousness, Hermione never left him. The first was the worst, he hadn't expected it. It was like he was back in that place only no one was there to save him this time. It wasn't just Bella with the blade either. Reg, Prongs, Moony and Vix all stood over him cackling taking their pounds of flesh. Telling him all the heinous things he already thought about himself. He was unwanted, his heart was as Black as his blood and that he was exactly like the rest of his family that. It was when the dream morphed again he had to do a double take. He was standing alone in a room with only one light and a full length mirror in front of him. Sirius stepping into the light didn't want recognise the man staring back at him? His robes were green and silver but it was the dark mark that branded the flesh of his left forearm. His worst nightmare was for him to be the purest Black heir that had ever been and it left him breathless. As he shot up in a cold sweat Hermione had been there, holding him as he greedily gasped trying to fill his lungs again. As he shuddered and shook she cooed her comforts trying to calm the demons that raged in his mind. Hermione didn't let him see her face, though he felt her warm tear dripping on his shoulder. Vix gave him the dreamless sleep, and the last thing he saw that night was her face etched in guilt and sorrow. He knew why she was doing all of this of course. She felt remorseful for not stopping what had happened to him. Part of him wanted to be bitter, to hurl hatred and pain at her. She'd exiled Peter to save James. She loved Remus with her whole heart, hell she'd become an animagus for him. Yet she couldn't or wouldn't save him from this. Hermione knew it was coming for him and she did nothing. He wanted to hate her, to cause her the same pain that he'd felt but in his heart he couldn't or wouldn't do it. It was the thought of her that had kept him sane, her smile, her heart and her sacrifice. He kept thinking that he had promised to trust her, that she had done this for a reason. She still held her secrets. That was what stung the most. They were hers and she was theirs and yet she still held so many secrets. As they sat in the silence of Charlus's library he could only survey the woman in front of him with curiosity. Sirius had consistently moved between awe and anger when thinking about Hermione. She really was an intoxicatingly confusing woman.
"Sirius you have someone whom would like to see you." Dorea's voice cut through his thoughts. Sirius had never been so grateful to see the willowy looking man next to her. His black greying hair and warm smile made his heart swell.
"Uncle Alphard?"
"Hello son" Sirius practically ran into his uncle's arms. This man had been there for Sirius in some of the darkest moments. This man had given him his first drink of Firewhiskey and was possibly the best Black the family had, had in generations.
"Hermione dear, this is Sirius's Uncle Alphard. He is the current head of the Black Family."
"It's a pleasure to meet you Sir." Hermione said politely offering her hand to shake. Sirius wished he could peer into his Uncle's mind as he saw an all too familiar gleam.
"I wish it were under better circumstances of course. But from what I hear from your mother you are an exceptional young witch."
"A proud mother boasting I'm sure."
"And humble, a rare combination." Alphard smiled brightly at her again. He was being overly friendly even for him, Sirius would be sure to enquire about this behaviour at a later date.
"He has come to see Sirius about some family business. We must give them a moment." Dorea said calmly. But Hermione was not the average witch, she caught the change in tone. Her hand twitched over her pocket where her wand was safely stored. A detail that was not unnoticed by all in the room, especially Alphard. His eyes flickered with a curiosity, surveying the feisty young witch in front of him.
"I understand the hesitation Hermione truly, I just wish to talk with him about his…emancipation"
"It's ok Vix, he's one of the good ones. I promise." Hermione looked him directly in the eyes searching for any kind of clue that this was a ploy. But he would not let her find anything of the sorts. Sirius was truly thankful that his uncle was here at all. With him being blasted from the tree any show of support was going directly against the family. It was dangerous for his Uncle to show any kind of allegiance especially at a time like this. With a curt nod and a pleasant yet uneasy goodbye Hermione let herself be led out of the study by her mother. Leaving the two men alone.
"She is protective of you. Perhaps a good match could be made for you yet." Alphard laughed and clapped a hand on his still healing shoulder. It took all Sirius's strength not to wince with the both the physical and other pain. He didn't dare to think that Hermione could be his. Nor would she ever agree to be bought or sold like a broodmare as the pureblood customs often detailed.
"Not likely Uncle, she'd probably hex your bollocks off if you tried. That and she is already spoken for."
"Pity. The rightful Black heir marrying a blood traitor. I would love to see your mother's face." His uncle had been making the joke without any real weight behind his words. But still Sirius wondered for the briefest of moments what it would be like if she was only his.
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Remus,
I hope my letters have been reaching you. James has told me you aren't responding to any of his letters either. So if they have been reaching you and you simply haven't been replying then firstly you're a prat for making me worry, but secondly I understand your hesitation. At least in not replying to me anyway. We have made a right mess of it haven't we?
I can't help but think to how happy we had been that first night in the astronomy tower, I want to get back there so very badly. In order to do that we need to have meet face to face and really talk without any anger or hurt. If we can do that, then maybe there is a future for us.
So on that note, I would like to invite you to the Potter Manor this coming Sunday. I will wait for you under the willow by the lake. I will wait for you…always.
Yours faithfully
Hermione.
PS I love you. I don't think I ever told you enough.
She had one thing right. They'd certainly made a mess of things. But there was something that Hermione was missing. Remus had wanted to reply to her letters, but his father had intercepted them. Lyall Lupin was a man filled with fear and prejudices against his son's condition. Upon hearing of the relationship with Hermione he'd flown into an extreme rage unlike any he'd seen before. Remus had become accustomed to feeling like a monster in the eyes of his father. Hope Lupin on the other hand had been trying to fight against her husband since he was attacked by Greyback as a young child. Hope lived up to her name in every sense of the word. She never gave up hope that her son could live a normal life bar the one day a month. His parents had been fighting about Hermione's latest letter since it arrived a week ago. Lyall thought it was best to keep it here, he knew more about the beast and he wouldn't have it turning an innocent girl into a monstrosity like him. Not his son, not Remus. No Remus Lupin was known by his father as "the beast" or "it". Hope on the other hand thought that her son deserved happiness and he should be allowed to live with a sense of normalcy. This argument only ever ended the same way, with Lyall Lupin storming out and using what little money they had to spare getting completely shit faced only to have "the beast" cleaning up his mess. As he heard the familiar door slamming Remus was glad he was gone, it meant that there was going to be at least some peace for a time. He ran his fingers over her words. His father like every other letter had tried to burn it, if it wasn't his mother he wouldn't have seen this letter. It was her quick thinking when Lyall hadn't been looking that saved the charred parchment. She signed it "yours faithfully" and that she loved him. He missed Hermione like crazy. Even Moony had come to miss her touch, her smell and the way she reacted to him. It would be his regret not to meet her under that willow. He would have to beg her forgiveness when they returned to school though by then who knows what could happen. Looking out his window at the setting sun he tried to picture what her brown untameable curls would look like it the light. The knock on his door brought him back to his current situation. His mother leaned against his door frame, looking at him with a sadness in her eyes that reflected his own. It was then that Remus saw the duffle bag at her feet.
"Remus….come quickly." A meek smile crossed her lips as a tear rolled down her cheek. "You have somewhere to be." A jolt of hopefulness ran through him. Did he dare to think that he could see her? As quickly as it had come the hope was gone, if he left then his father would know. He would know she let him go. He couldn't leave her like that.
"Mum what are you doing? If Dad finds out he'll…" Remus made his way to his mother and hugged her tightly. He couldn't let her take the brunt of his father's anger. Hope pulled away from her son as a proud smile spread across her face.
"Let me deal with him" Remus hadn't realised that he'd started crying before his mother cupped his cheek to wipe them from his face. She really was too good to him, too good for his father. Hope Lupin was what was best in this often dark world. She was the light. "Your father won't be happy that's true. But…but you have been lighter since this young lady came into your life. And all a mother wants for her child is happiness, health and love. We have failed you in one of those but she is your chance for the other two. There is enough clothes to last until the end of the summer. I will send money when I can. Be happy darling." Remus enveloped his mother in his arms again. He knew that this could ultimately mean goodbye for them. Going against his father like this was dangerous. Lyall was a petty, insecure and jaded man. He would not take kindly to this indiscretion, and while his mother would be punished it would be Remus to pay the ultimate price. His father would do everything in his power to make sure that he would pay. It would likely include being cut off from his mother, not being allowed to return to the cottage and having him slander his name at every opportunity. What would hurt most though would be the separation from Hope. Her health particularly in the last few years had begun to deteriorate. Lyall blamed Remus. He said it was the stress of having a beast as a son and that all their money had gone to "cure" him. They could barely afford to live, let alone afford the additional medical expenses.
"I love you Mum"
"I love you too. Now go live your life. Be happy, find that love that lightens your life and never let it go. Promise me that." She hurried him towards the fire place. Remus took a small handful of the silvery powder in the jar on the mantle. As he stepped into the fireplace he looked at his mother for possibly the last time. She was an exceptionally beautiful woman and would have made a hell of a witch in another life.
"I promise, Mum I promise...Potter Manor" with his bag clutched to his chest, Remus dropped the powder speaking as clearly as he could. The green heatless flames engulfed him and his mother disappeared. Travelling by the floo was not his favourite. The feeling as though he was spinning far too quickly often made his stomach lurch. It wasn't until he caught a glimpse of the Potter drawing room did he stop. He made it he was really there. The thought of his mother still standing at the fireplace filled his heart with a strange mix of gratitude and sadness. There was little time to remain with his thoughts as Mrs Potter walked into the room, with a letter in her hand. A large smile crossed her face as Remus recognised his mother's handwriting immediately.
"Nice to see you dear, I believe a certain young lady is waiting for you. It would be a pity to keep her waiting." The knowing smile on her lips made his heart leap with joy. Without a second though Remus took off running. He was going to see her, he was going to make it to the willow.
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Hermione had waited as promised. She had not moved from this spot, nor would she until the stars hung above her. Only then would she say goodbye to the moon and goodbye to the wolf. She hoped he would still come, that she hadn't ruined her relationship with the bitterness of her own failure. Hermione thought of the moments she had with Remus and how he had become an important figure in her life. Every stolen moment in the alcoves, every line of poetry he would quote to her, but what she missed most was the quite moments. The sound of his laugh, the way he kissed her or how they could just be together in a comfortable silence.
"Hermione" his voice was a thing of beauty even if it sounded rugged and uneven. She turned slowly, hoping that this was not some cruel joke her heart and mind had played on her. That he really came and he wanted to still be with her. Then her eyes met the familiar green gaze of Remus John Lupin. Without words or thinking Hermione ran to him closing the distance between them. No more distance, no more barriers she needed to feel his touch on her body. Hermione leapt into his waiting arms. His arms wrapped tightly around her waist as her legs locked around his hips. Their kiss they shared obliterated every thought and doubt in her mind. It was desperate and hungry begging for forgiveness they both craved.
"Doubt thou the stars are fire, Doubt that the sun doth move, Doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love." Hermione enjoyed the breathiness of his voice. It meant she'd been doing her job correctly.
"What did I say about Shakespeare?" Hermione scolded as he laughed. Remus's lips found hers again and she couldn't have been happier. He was hers and she was his. This was moment was everything she'd hoped for. This was a new beginning for the both of them and a promise of so much more to come.
So that's it. My longest chapter yet. I hope you enjoyed it. See you next month BYYYEEE!
