COLD FRONT

Icicles hung from the eaves, still fat and long, their rippled surfaces refracting the warm sunlight and illuminating the walls and floor with shimmering shapes. There was the gentle sound of the meltwater slapping against the crystalized snow on the roof down below, a neverending cacophony that echoed across the entire estate as water slapped against snow, tile, and mud.

Kagura sat on the engawa of their room, swinging her legs and craning her neck backwards as she stared, transfixed by the play of light in ice, the fractures and how they changed the luster, sometimes gold, sometimes blue, depending on the shape. They were still long enough that she could reach up and break them off, if she wanted, a satisfying little game she'd started now that the weather had warmed and the chill of the ice didn't bite as it once had. The tips still looked sharp enough to cut, like tiny knives molded from the roof, threatening to―

Kagura flinched as a fat droplet of water hit her in the eye.

"Fuck!" She rubbed at it, hissing as she blinked the water away. A tear ran from her eye and left an ice cold line from cheek to jaw and down her neck until she scrubbed it away with her sleeve.

"You shouldn't sit beneath them like that, they're liable to slice open your face."

Kagura snapped her head to glare over her shoulder at the voice, only to find that Sesshoumaru wasn't even looking at her, all wrapped up in his fur, lounging in the sun with his back against the wall and his attention focused on the book in his lap. He'd taken to doing that―as the winter dragged on without relief, stuck up inside the castle meant that he had had ample time to plunder the estate's archives―and it meant that she often found him with a book or a scroll strewn across his lap or him hunched over his little table. It was almost absurd enough to make her laugh, but she settled for rolling her eyes.

"Woudn't fuck me if I had a scar?"

His eyes flicked up to meet hers, looking up at her from beneath his lashes, silver and gold sparkling in the warm sunlight. Kagura waited expectantly, and when his lips parted as if he would speak only for nothing to come her lips curved up in a mischievous smile.

Sesshoumaru turned back to his book. "...That has nothing to do with it."

"Oh?" Her grin widened. She rolled onto her knees so that she was facing him fully. "What is it then? Are you saying that it isn't my stunning good looks that keeps you in my bed?"

He turned a page, loudly.

"It isn't?" she pressed, crawling closer.

"You heal well enough."

"That ain't an answer," she cooed, edging across the floor until she was kneeling beside him, inches from the side of his face.

"It isn't your bed," he said, grasping at straws. He nodded towards the rumpled futon pushed up against the wall, covers strewn across the floor. Neither of them ever bothered to fix it up; Kagura because even though she'd made herself quite comfortable in his room, she refused to take responsibility for a space that wasn't hers―and Sesshoumaru because he thought himself above such things as making his own bed.

"Semantics." She waved it off.

He moved to turn another page, but she snatched it before he could―careful to save his place―she dangled it in the air and collapsed so that her head replaced it on his thigh, forcing him to look down at her. He'd been giving her quite a few privileges, and she'd been pushing her luck, seeing how far she could go before he started getting antsy. He never told her no or pushed her away, but he would go stiff if her ministrations made him uncomfortable. He was in a playful enough mood this morning that he didn't immediately shove her off or try to remove her clothes.

"What's this one about?"

"War," he said, plucking it from her hands and laying it face down on the floor beside him.

"Boring," she hummed and crossed her arms, making herself comfortable, "why bother readin' about it when you could just go start one yourself?"

"To learn strategy." With nothing to occupy it, his hand fell to her sternum. A warm weight.

"Ha! You don't have a strategic bone in your body. What 'strategy' have you been learnin'? 'One thousand ways to punch harder'?"

"You think me tactless?" His lips quirked, but his hand pressed down as if he meant to squeeze the air from her lungs. She reached up and twirled her fingers through the few strands of hair that hung over his shoulder and gave a gentle tug.

"You're certainly boorish."

"It must be your poor influence then." He flexed his hand, skimmed his fingers along the loose lapel of her kosode so that he could slide them beneath, his claws tickling the skin under her breast.

"Ain't that a compliment,' she laughed, "I must really be somethin' to have such an influence on you."

"'Ain't that a compliment,'" he parroted back, mimicking her rough speech, and Kagura descended into giggles when his hand pressed down hard again.

"You should―talk like that―more often!"

She yanked on his hair, and when that didn't get him to stop, she tried to pry his hand off her, all while staring up at his face―impassive save for the quirk of his lip and the glint in his eyes.

"Alright―alright!"

His hand stilled and she let go of his hair with one last huff.

"You're such a lame ass," she hissed without any real threat behind it. She slapped his hand away so that she could fix up her robes and then resettled herself against his thigh.

"You don't mind," he said, picking up his book again, "most of the time."

Kagura replaced his hand on her belly. "Most, not all."

He hummed and went back to his reading, the book on one thigh and her head on the other, Kagura stared up, half at him and half at the ceiling. She watched as the hair hanging over his shoulder swayed in a breeze not of her making, it brought with it bird song and the sweet scent of damp… Kagura inhaled deep and closed her eyes, she hardly needed the sleep, but the weight of his hand on her belly and the scent of spring was soothing enough that she could almost feel it pulling her down―

"Sleeping?"

Her eyes shot open. "No."

His eyes were trained on the book again, but the slight upward turn of his lip meant he was still in the mood to play. He began rubbing small circles along her belly, his hand slowing moving up the path between her breasts. Kagura held her breath as his fingers traced a line, she blinked―and he was looking down at her, trailing heat as his claws ghosted across the exposed skin of her throat until he brought the backs of his knuckles to caress her cheek―

"Your makeup is ruined."

Kagura smacked his away and sat up. "Asshole."

She jumped to her feet, ignoring the breathy little chuckle that it earned her.

"I'm going to bathe." When she turned back he was looking up at her, and for a moment he actually looked a little upset. She let him stew in it a moment while she turned away and snatched up whatever clothes she could find scattered across the floor before she gave in. "Care to join?"

There was a pause, and she felt his gaze needling her, but then there was the sound of rustling fabric as he got to his feet.

"I need to get some things from the other room first, though." That earned her a huff. "Oh shut up, it ain't gonna' take long."

They were silent as they fixed up their robes, made themselves look presentable. The halls would be nearly empty, but still, she didn't like the idea of someone else seeing her looking less than her best. She tried to scrub off the rest of her smudged rouge, and only stopped rubbing herself raw when Sesshoumaru have her an approving nod.

It was easier to spend time with him now that the castle was nothing more than ghosts and drunken stragglers. The few left behind spent their time either too drunk or too tired to care for gossip or what anyone else did, and though they were stupid enough to still fall for Hotaru and Okiyo's tricks―the only thing that kept them entertained, if she was being honest―they weren't good for much else.

As much as Kagura loved an audience, she appreciated the privacy the lack of a crowd gave her.

Empty halls meant that she could walk right up to the upper floors without a single stare or snickers, and meant that she could hang on Sesshoumaru's arm more often, let herself enjoy the simple company for what it was. Like now, she could walk a little closer, lean into his arm and not worry that anyone would see or that he would push her away in the name of his pride.

Their soft footsteps padded along the wooden floors, echoing in the silence until they finally reached their destination. Kagura slid open the door and turned back to him as she stepped inside.

"You can go on ahead, this'll only take a minute―" but Momiji had already slammed the door in his face.

"Oh, well look who has graced us with her presence," she drawled, "how can we serve you, princess?"

"Oh, fuck off." Kagura hissed as she stepped past her. Not the best comeback, but she was too busy trying to find her things amongst the mess on the floor.

"Very suave," Momiji rolled her eyes, "you kiss that ice dog with that mouth?"

"She does more than that!" Hotaru yelled, before Kagura could.

Momiji looked like she might snap as she paced along behind her. "Well maybe if she wasn't doing so much of that then we wouldn't still be sitting on this frozen mountain!"

"Oh, shut up." Kagura was the one to roll her eyes now, though her tone was teasing. "You're just upset you're the one thats been left alone in the cold for once."

"No," Momiji hissed. "I'm bored. Sure, no one wanted to travel when the snow was still heavy, but now it's starting to warm enough that even Achara can stand to be outside…"

Kagura glanced at the bird, who was drowning themselves in as much sunlight as they could in the window.

"...everyone wants to go, Kagura, and you would know that if you weren't spending all your time locked upstairs."

And Momiji might have had a point. Urue had been implying that she'd wanted to leave from the start, Achara hadn't liked being trapped in a place so cold, but Momiji had only started complaining once Gajou and most of the eligible men had left. Hotaru had griped his fair share, as had Okiyo, Younosuke was quiet as always, and Tekari would happily go along with whatever Momiji decided… Which just left Kagura.

Who was quite comfortable right where she was, thank you very much.

Not that she didn't suffer from her own wanderlust―the desire to fly was always there, ever present, prickling in the back of her mind―but it was different now, knowing that there was someone beside her who could keep up… arms that she could return to…

None of which they'd discussed, of course, their relationship still in that strange unspoken limbo.

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about." She rolled her eyes. "There's still snow on the ground, so if you want to go trudging through that then have at it."

"You say that as if we haven't traveled through worse." Achara muttered from their corner.

Momiji nodded in agreement. "No need to make excuses, Kagura, say that you want to stay. We're just tired of waiting on you to make a decision."

She chewed the inside of her cheek. It wasn't a lie to say that she didn't want to travel through the winter, the winds would ease their going if she asked, but there was only so much she could do about the weather without exhausting herself, and besides…

The easy answer was that she enjoyed having easy access to a good lay, but there was that annoying little pinprick in her chest―one that she wanted to pluck out with tweezers if she could―that reminded her it wasn't just the sex or the comforts of the castle that made her want to stay―that that traitorous heart of hers had been aching to stay as long as she could, if only to stave off the inevitable, to prolong this little bliss she'd made for herself…

"We can go, I don't care."

Hotaru sighed with relief, and Momiji grinned, but Kagura just snatched up her things and walked out into an empty hallway.

"We can go, I don't care."

In the shadows of the hall, his eyes narrowed.

A voice in the back of his mind told him that this was to be expected, the obvious end to whatever had been going on between them through the winter. Whatever had been happening every morning since they'd begun their tryst. He'd always thought himself different than the other curs in his family, that he was above the sort of mindless dalliances they involved themselves with, the allure of sex―evidently he'd been wrong, and now was all the more worse off for it.

At least he'd never heard of the others taking it to heart. He would begrudgingly admit that he had let himself get too comfortable, had become accustomed to her presence, begun to relish in it.

His mother had all but laughed herself sick when she'd left for her own estate, and even his uncle had given him a pitying look. He'd bristled, made some comment about being away for so long and enjoying the rest. He knew the excuse was weak, but it didn't bother him as much as it should have.

And now, standing alone in the hall, he remembered why he should have left weeks ago with the rest of them. But he'd gotten comfortable, had decided that another night with her in his bed was worth the snickering and the looks his family gave him, that he could ignore the embarrassment, the disrespect, the laying low of his pride―all in the name of a woman…

Because somehow, throughout the months that had passed, through the brutality of the winter―and he'd known it before they'd ever started, from the moment he'd laid eyes on her after three years, that Kagura had never been just a woman. She was Kagura, and Kagura had always had a way of digging herself in his life and gouging out a space for herself, and this time he'd allowed her to do it. He'd opened his arms and welcomed it, let him think those words he would never say, let her invade him, down to the very breath in his lungs―he'd done it willingly, with every starlit night and sunkissed morning, every time she'd let him inside…

He'd been too young the last time he'd attended, but the festival always led to debauchery, mayhem and embarrassment. Sesshoumaru had finally grown into his own, and he supposed that―not for the first time―Kagura would just have to be one of those lessons.

She was surprised when she slammed the doors open to his room that he didn't even turn his head.

Kagura didn't pay it much mind, she went straight for the hibachi, pressed up against the wall but still lit. The weather may have warmed and her skin might still be steamed from the bath, but she still sought out the dry heat the coals gave off. She pulled in a breeze, just enough to fan the embers, the coals sparked to life and began to glow a shimmering red, the heat radiated outwards and warmed her fingers when she held them out.

"What happened?" she asked casually, flipping her hands over the embers. "You didn't meet me in the bath."

He didn't answer, just kept looking out across the valley. Kagura raised a brow, a little unnerved that he hadn't said anything yet. She bit back an insult, knowing that it would either lead to something very bad or something very, very good, but she had the suspicion that holding her tongue would benefit her more.

She gave up on the hibachi, and went to kneel down behind him, she dug her hand into his fur without hesitation. It was almost warmer than the coals had been. "You haven't been watching the fuckin' mountains this whole time have you?"

"No." At least he'd responded. But then he stood up, almost knocking her over in the process.

"Oi―!"

She resisted the urge to grab his sleeve, knowing that there'd be no point, she'd need to put actual force into it if she wanted to make him turn around. Besides, if he was actually upset about something she suspected that putting hands on him might lead to something a little more dangerous than she'd like.

Instead, Kagura stood up beside him, her arms crossed over her chest, and stared at the side of his face, trying to swallow down her irritation.

"What the hell's got you so cranky?"

He didn't say anything right away, just kept his eyes forward looking out over the mountain. She didn't like it, the way he was purposefully ignoring her like some petulant child. If he wanted to throw a fit at least he could do it properly, rather than just acting like some sulky fucking brat. Kagura huffed and shoved herself into his line of sight, she crossed her arms and glared up at him, hating their difference in height now more than ever.

It took several breaths before his eyes finally slid to meet hers. Reluctantly, he looked like he was resisting the urge to vomit.

"You're leaving." A statement. As if he didn't mean it in answer to her question.

"Probably," she said. Not liking his tone, she raised her chin. "What did you expect? I'm surprised you've stuck around this long. This place ain't exactly your type."

"Neither is it yours."

He looked away again, somewhere above her head. His tone was clipped, stern, and though he wasn't looking at her, she got the feeling that he was holding back.

"Well then it doesn't matter where I go, does it?" she said, the back of her neck going hot.

She held herself steady as she stepped away from him, left him there staring at the mountains, his silhouette stark against the ashy white snow. She had a few things here, a belt, a pair of socks, a robe she'd stolen from him and now claimed as her own, a pot of rouge she'd left for the afternoons when she couldn't be bothered to make herself over in her own rooms… She snatched them all up, balancing everything as best she could before she looked up―and found him staring at her.

"You got something to say?"

His eyes narrowed like he was thinking, but his words were quick, spiteful. "I don't care what you do."

Her limbs felt cold. She set her jaw.

"That's right. How could I forget?" she spat, matching his tone. "You don't care about anything."

She went to walk past him, frustrated beyond measure and unable to comprehend whatever the fuck his problem was, but his arm snaked around her waist―barring her path, but not quite caging her. Her eyes snapped up to meet his, expecting rage and preparing herself for a fight, she was halfway to jumping away from him, but…

He wasn't angry.

She'd seen Sesshoumaru angry, furious even, but this… wasn't the same. His words spoke of apathy and his actions spoke of domination, but the look in his eyes was neither.

He was… upset. Hurt.

Instead of an icy chill or the sharp edge of rage there was warmth, and something she couldn't quite place… He hadn't touched her yet, but that sad look in his eyes set something rolling in her belly. Guilt, maybe, a feeling she wanted to riot against. Why should she feel guilty over his feelings or hurting them? But, she knew why, and she hated that more than his attempt at stopping her.

She hated that she wanted nothing more than to sink into his arms, to tell him that she was going to stay with him if that's what he was asking of her. That if he decided to leave tomorrow that she would follow him.

She'd been desperate for a heart once, but she almost wished she could cast it out again. She wondered when she'd gotten so weak.

"It ain't like I'm leaving the country…"

"Yet" hung there unsaid, but still it was a consolation for them both. His arm relaxed a little and she felt the deep breath he took, the tension leaving his shoulders. She didn't ask why he'd tried to stop her, afraid of the answer.

Kagura fixed her gaze on the wall beside his shoulder, too scared to meet his eyes again, of what she would find. He stared at her, gaze searing her skin as if he might scald her with his simmering silence. She suddenly wanted very badly to take back what she'd said, to tell him that she could leave if she wanted to, that his thoughts―whatever they even were―didn't matter because she could do what she liked. And then she thought he might lean in, but he inhaled―and stepped back.

She felt cold. Sesshoumaru wasn't looking at her, his eyes falling on anything but her, a look of submission so strange on someone like him…

She dropped the bundle in her arms and the balled up fabric hit the tatami with a dull thump.

"Tell me what you want."

That got his attention. He looked up and met her eyes. Kagura fidgeted.

"I know… I don't―fuck." This was stupid. She felt stupid, stumbling over her words like some blushing human girl. She tapped her fan against her forehead. "I just―"

He waited, silently, and his patience threatened to wear hers thin. Looking at his stupidly soft face was going to make her snap:

"Just fuckin' ask me!"

He took a long, deep breath, almost imperceptible with the way he held himself steady. She would have missed it if she hadn't felt the pull of air into his lungs.

"We will see each other."

Close enough, she supposed.

"Yes."

It was almost like a weight coming off his shoulders, the way the tension in him eased. His head lifted and his shoulders straightened, and while she hated that he made it sound like an order she was still surprised by how almost happy he looked. Like a child who'd just gotten hold of his favorite treat.

"You're such a fuckin' bother." He tilted his head. "Insufferable."

She wanted to keep cursing him, but then his hand came back to her hip and pulled her in―

When they left, some three days later, her troupe's cart packed as messily as it had been when they'd arrived, and A-Un's bags stuffed with gifts, they walked out of the gate together, into a forest that was just beginning to wake up.

The snow had melted only the day before, leaving the ground wet, but already there was green poking out of the mud, reaching for the sky, towards the kiss of warm sunlight. There was bird song, the flutter of wings through the trees, and the steady drip-drip-drip of water falling from the branches, the far off sound of a newborn stream, carrying the snow melt away to the ocean…

They parted ways at the foot of the mountain. There were no tender touches or heart felt declarations, no stolen kisses or an embrace.

She left him with a smile. A laugh.

He left her with a promise and eyes turned toward the sky.

A/N: Hey all! It's uhh… been a while. Hope you've all been well and if you're in the northern hemisphere like me that you're enjoying the start of spring. I know this chapter was a long time coming, i've been focusing on other projects the last few months, but I hope the vibes are still the same because I feel like I struggled a bit here. I don't think there will be such a large gap for the next update, but just know that I'm not giving up on this! 3